Due in Feb 07. It's January its all getting a bit close now

[peachygirl]

Hi new year, new thread!

Had scan this afternoon with lovely obs that I used to work with. Baby not breech but head down, way hey! Was asked if I wanted them to do fetal measurements and said go on as felt fundal height was a bit (being optimistic with bit!) low as head not engaged and baby not doubled over in frank breech position, got a bit of a shock as estimated weight is 5lb 3oz at 36+1, having had two biggish (9lb and 8lb 11oz) babies this one is way off the customized growth chart for me. I know these things aren't that accurate at this stage but I do trust this obs and she was very positive about it saying head and abdominal circumferance were on the same centile so it didn't look like IUGR just a small baby. Now a bit panicky as movements haven't been as vigerous as they have in my last two pregnancies and I had just put that down to him being a bit stuck in this frank breech position, am going to try and be a rational midwife and not a neurotic pregnant woman and think things through rationally! The one good thing is DH has suddenly lept into action vowing that I am doing too much, not eating properly and he will take over etc etc and is now waiting on me hand and foot! We will see how long that lasts!

snugglebum, pleased to hear that yours is head down - you must be very relieved.

Had my weekly check with mw today. All fine, baby's head 2/5 into pelvis (same as last week) and in theory ready to go. Either due tomorrow (according to LMP date) or on Saturday (acc to growth scan) - and the latter more likely given that I know I ovulated a few days late in the relevant month. I'm booked to see the mw again next Tues if I get that far, and then after that it's serious conversations with the hospital about options but I don't sense at the mo that it'll come to that.

On older sibs, DS at the mo is really into listening to CDs. We bought him the ELC CD player for Christmas as he already had one or two CDs of his own, and I used a few of the book tokens he got at Christmas to buy 3for2 books with CDs at the back. He loves them and it means he can sit down and 'read' a book without me always having to do it - I figure this will be useful in early weeks when I'm tied up bfing etc. Have been trying to talk to him about all the things we'll be able to do together again - like have him sit on my lap, and me be able to run around a bit more, and he's quite taken with the idea of being a big brother.

Happy nesting!

Busy lot today!

Lol at littlestboho and qsak

I have had one eventful afternoon/evening. Went for my anc appt this afternoon and urine was showing +protein and my bp was through the roof - bottom number at 102! To top it off I've been having the odd flashy light in my eyes but not mentioned it to mw as a)she prob wouldnt be interested and b)bp and everything else was fine. MW decided to send me straight to the hospital to be monitored and put me straight into panic mode by telling me to take an overnight back just incase they decided to keep me in.
Mad rush to sort out childcare and as dp was working 2hours away called him to get straight home and my mum to leave her work to come to hospital with me till dp arrived. Gets to hospital and surprise surprise bp has settled! Had to endure blood tests and peeing in little pots for further testing. Blood tests came back normal but urine still showing protein. Also was on CTG trace for about 40 mins and apparently the trace was lovely with plenty of movement from LO. Hospital apparently V busy so only keep you in if absolutely necessary so was discharged and mw to come to house on Thursday to check bp and urine again.

V glad all is well and allowed home as I would ideally prefer to go into labour on my own and hopefully have hospital water birth as I never had the chance with dd as I was induced due to preeclampsia at 39+4.

on the waxing/trimming front - went straight in for a shower as soon as i got home from mw while my mum sorted my bag as my legs havent been shaved in weeks! Would be mortified if anyone had seen them b4! Darent attempt bikini line though - havent seen it for months!

Leahsmum - there's nothing like a last minute bit of excitement

Went to our antenatal class last night and this was run by a very friendly and chirpy mw. Since I felt a lot of baby movements on Sunday night and I am desperate to get baby out of breeech position into head down, I cheekily asked after the class whether she would not mind feeling my tummy - IT IS HEAD DOWN AGAIN. It's back is against my back and that won't be pleasant but I figure bay can still turn sideways during birth.

Still have the growth scan on Thursday but just feel so relieved for now.

Been awake since 3am and have all day college today (exam in three weeks), so will feel like a total zombie by 6pm tonight. So much for cooking healthy meals for the freezer. I am leaving recipe and ingredients for soup on worktop, so maybe DP sorts out dinner! If not I'd be grateful for any of your leftovers...

Don't overdo the nesting and get your rest where you can.

Snugglebum - you still have a few weeks to go, surely LO will put on the customary half pound every week.

When u due Beinchen? You have an exam in 3 weeks! You must be mad - I find it difficult at the moment to concentrate on an episode of Corrie never mind study for an exam!!

Thats good your LO has turned. Apparently mine is head down and only way it could turn now is by coming back up out of pelvis which seems unlikely. Tho mw never actually says its engaged - says cos I;m a second timer its unlikely to engage til Im in labour.

i wanted advice and reassurance really about my dp. i have a ds wo is 5 from my previous marriage and am now 39 weeks pregnant with my dp.
dp can be so good with ds, teaching him things and playing etc but it seems to me to be very inconsistant. if ds is grumpy or sad dp will make snide comments all day to ds. he will go from having the patience of a saint to none at all and the worst of all is if he is naugty he throws his real dads lack of interest at him (my xdh).

my ds is so used to it just being him he is the only grandchild in the whole family and i know that with te impending arrival of his brother he is nervous and perhaps a little jealous. this morning he wanted to bring his teddies down stairs and dp made an issue out of it saying he was a girl and then carried on making comments about it until he left for work. then just as dp was leaving ds wiped his eye and he started souting saying he was sick of him acting like a girl and whats wrong with im etc. he insists tat ds must play away from the front room where as i prefer to have ds playing where i can see him. tells him to be quiet in an aggressive mannor and wants silence during his programs.

when i stand up for ds and say that this isnt the way you parent a child dp says well he is yours i will leave it all to you then. i cant win.

all i am asking is for him to be more compassionate ds isnt a stroppy teenager he is 5 years old.
i have spoken to dps mum and she doesnt understand why he is like he is his childhood was laid back and not like this at all.

what would you do in this situation?

am grateful for any advice

Sorry to hear your troubles Bluebell - dont think I can be of much assistance as I dont have any experience of step parents.
I will say that sometimes dp can get a bit stroppy with dd (who is his too) if she plays up as he is so used to her being well behaved, however over the last few weeks has been a bit of a roaster - which I am putting down to the imminent arrival of the new baby. It will be hard for your little boy of course it will - he has always had every1 to himself and your dp should understand that and he certainly shouldnt be throwing back his real dads lack of interest in him - its not the childs fault!

sorry bubblebell i just called you bluebell!!

Having a feel v big day today. And tired already despite only having just got up. But hey ho It's looking like nice weather so can go out for a stroll a bit later to get some fresh air and stock up on tea bags and onions. (I'm trying to make myself useful in the only way I know how - seeing as DH has been doing so much housework stuff for me).

I was experiencing a bit of cabin fever last week so I've had a good couple of days visiting friends and doing some solid girly chatting. 2 visits to friends with children to try and accustom myself to what's to come and one with a single friend to have some none baby talks.

I feel so much better especially after having a 2 hour hug with my friends 3 week old (very cute - especially as asleep the whole time! - I'll have one of those please!) and doing some in depth psychoanalysis with single friend about our family relationships.

I know what you mean about forgetting that you're pregnant - every time I go to squeeze past someone in a shop or on the street I realise that turning sideways actually makes it harder to get past not easier!! Doesn't happen too often though as constantly reminded by john wayne walk and inability to bend over for things and DH telling me off every so often for trying to do too much - like go right to the back of the understairs cupboard and getting stuck!

My friend has a 3 year old and her HV has told her to concentrate on him as the new baby only needs nappy changes, feeding and warmth at the moment whereas older son needs reassurance that he is still her number one. She is making sure that she interacts with him a lot and that the baby doens'nt interrupt their time too much. She also puts a lot of emphasis on him being a lovely big boy. When I went to visit I remembered the advice someone had given and gave him a sticker book and spoke to him on going in the door and he was a happy chappie for the rest of the afternoon - he even warned me partway through the afternoon that I wasn't allowed to take his little brother home with me as he was his!!!!!

lol its ok leahsmum ive been called worse xx

Hi Bubblebell, I don't have any experience either but wonder if it has got worse over the last few months. It may be that DP is worried about what kind of dad he is going to be and that is coming out as negative towards DS? I guess the pregnancy anxiety is there for blokes too. Sorry I can't be any help. Perhaps talking to DP about cutting DS a lot of slack because of potential jealousy, how used he is to it being only him.....?

On a totally different note. I woke up at 5.30 this morning having dreamt that I gave birth in John Lewis toilets!! All went well and luckily it was a girl because I really didn't want to call the baby John. Don't know whether to go into town today in case it was a premonition or keeep well away!

Congrats to the babies who have moved head down. I hope things stay settled for you now Leahsmum.

Glad you liked the cake. I'm going to do a RL chocolate brownie cake today for DH Birthday tomorrow. Who wants to lick the bowl?

BB1 - bless you.. You've got enough to cope with at the moment being ready to drop and everything.

I would say that it all depends on your relationship with your dp to how you approach the situation. If he has moments when you can talk to him then you should sit down when all is calm and be honest with him that you are finding it really hard at the moment with him being so changeable with ds. It sounds like dp may be stressed slightly as well by thought of LO arriving - not that that excuses things - but have you had a chance to talk about how the two of you feel about the imminent arrival?

You could try a few other tacts -

1. talk about how you love it when he is loving and caring with ds and that it really helps. Also that you are worried that ds (being only 5) will have a hard time adjusting and may be a bit changeable - going from baby mode to angry etc. and discuss how you can both help him.
2. Another tact I have tried is to talk about a tv programme that you/ a friend has watched that was really interesting where they said that this can happen and that they suggested that the best way of coping with it was... (insert whatever it is that is the issue and say a few things that they suggested)

A bit of good acting is required and if they don't get the link then it's best to leave it but you'd be surprised how it can get into their sub conscience and can change their behaviour. You've just got to not blow your cover and gloat that it worked if it does as you'll want to keep it up your sleeve for next time! Oh the wily ways of the woman!!

Hope things improve for you.

Hi bubble, I know how you feel ,my DS has a different dad to DD and bump. DS is now 11 and has never seen his dad, I left him befor I found out I was pg and would prob have gone back to him if I hadn't found out that I was pg, our relationship was crap, he had a huge alcohol and violence prob and I thought it was one thing for me to put up with it but I couldn't put a child through that. When I met my now DH he told me he was great with kids and spent a lot of time with his nieces/nephews, which I have since found out was just to pacify me as he knew I had DS! His parenting skills were crap and to make matters worse DS was diagnosed as autistic when he was 5 so DH wasn't just "taking on" another child but one with quite severe special needs. DH was in the army when we met and I think some of his strage parenting ideas came from the very strict discipline he had there, he also though DS was too old for soft toys, should go out and play outside more "like I did when I was a kid" DS hates it outside etc etc. I eventually put my foot down and told him that although I loved hime I did not like hime when he acted this way and that I had survived quite happily without a partner before we met and would survive quite happily without him now if he carried on. I made it very plain that DS came before him in my line of priorities and that if I didn't change then he could get lost! Things haven't been all sweetness and light since then but we have worked through stuff, when we had DD (10 year age gap between her and DS) I made it clear from the start that I wouldn't be following all this routine stuff that he felt was so important and he has come round to a more nurturing parenting style, he even now jumps on my back if I am a bit snappy with DS about stuff. I hope this helps a little, I think for me the big thing was that I wasn't afraid to be a single parent if I had to and much as I loved DH I didn't love the side to him that I was seeing through his parenting skills.

LOL at myself after reading bouncy's post, ohh you are so much more reasonable and understanding than me!

dp is in the army!!

thanks snuggle

dp knows that ds comes first. my marriage was hell and ds has experienced far too much.

i thought perhaps because dp knows ds comes first he resents him more. but when i asked him he denied it saying he loves ds as much as i do.

who knows what goes on in thier head.

i was single for 3 years before i met dp and 2 be honest it doesnt make a difference if im with someone or not. its just that most of the time dp is great with ds and even tho all this goes on ds and dp are inseperable i didnt want to be responsible for another relationship breakdown! destroying everything that ds knows again

xxx

Well bubble I think that may just be it! I am very pround of what my DH has done but I think some of the things he has seen and had to do has had a real adverse effect on his view of life. I do feel that soldiers are bullied in basic training and the army feel that it is ok as the y have to break them so that they will follow orders when under stressful situations. It could be that you just have to lead by action, be over compassionate to DS and help him grow in strength by nurturing him, be really positive about all the "wonderful" things DS has done when you talk to DP at the end of the day, having a child from a baby is a very different thing to having one from being a toddler, I couldn't understand DH when he used to say that to me but now we have DD I can, DS will always come to me first for any help or with any problems and I guess DH does feel a bit left out by this, maybe even intimidated, his parenting skills with DD have been much better and I feel this has helped his relationship with DS.

lol bouncy... i have just used your wonderful tactic on the phone and it worked he has appologised again and said that he will try anything to make ds happy.

i am so worried anyway. ds only has me and ds2b has me and dp. i feel dreadful thinking it let alone typing it but will i even love this lo as much as ds.

ds is such a wonderful child after everything he has been thru and am worried i will let this lo down.

its prob me being pregnant, worried about cs and how ds will react. dont want you all to think im neurotic.

You are not neurotic at all. Relationships can be SO stressful.

I think that step parents and parents have to be so careful nowadays. When my friend and I were psychoanalysing each other we talked a lot about our parents divorces (mine was 26 odd years ago when I was 2 so don't remember the event but obviously do remember all the after affects - which are still happening now!!!).

I think that there is a lot of truth in the fact that what happens in childhood can be carried through into later life. I would say to dp that he may be a stepdad but that doesn't mean that ds loves him any less and making comments to you re. he's your child are only harmful - to both you and ds - who could overhear it remember.

Also as far as loving this LO as much. Remember it will be a different relationship to start off with as the baby just takes at the start whereas you have had years to nurture your relationship with ds and you get a lot back from him. It's not that you have to share your love remember as it's the one thing that grows and grows and there will be enough for everyone.

bubble the prob isn't being pg and the cs, the prob is one that we all have, I din't think I could love DD half as much as DS when I was preg and worried myself to bits about it, everone says it and I know it sounds corny but you just "make" more love for them. My DS adores his sister and she adores her big brother, if I am taking him to occupational therapy or a social group she screams when we drop him off and the look on his face when he sees her after his session is a delight, he misses her so much. I love them both so much as they are both so different and I am sure this next one will be as different as they are. They will both give you different things, I cry when I go to any school productions that DS is in as I am so proud he has got that far with his learning disabilities and communication problems, I must be the only Y6 parent sat at the back sobbing my heart out as all the others have got over that stage by the end of nursery! With DD I take great delight in the fact that she can already swim, loves to climb and play and has such an extensive vocabulary that we can already hold conversations, she is giving me all the developmental milestones I missed with DS.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Just slammed phoned down on bloody dh. He promised to come to the MW with me this pm, to add a bit of moral support and pressure to my questions (what does a 'little bit' posterior mean? Why am I a hippo? Is it physically possible to give birth to a 15lb baby when you are 5 feet 2 inches tall?)and he's just rung and says he has a meeting. Bollocks, he's just not being assertive - if he asked them to bring it forward an hour, they would. I'm SO CROSS!

Feel better now .....

oh no today seems a bad day for everyone. I'm sorry I don't have lots of good advice to give but will send you both big hugs.
I had a good day yesterday in London, had ny bra measurements and bought some but really spent too much and will send Dh back with them next week.
I had a lovely time with my firend and really caught up. and the musical Wicked was very good too.

If anyone wants a nice place for coffee and cakes in central London I would reccommend the cafe in Habitat on Regents St - sound a bit odd but it's quiet, lots of comfy seats a toilet with baby changing and a lift!

is wicked the spin off from wizard of oz peachy??

would u take a 5 yr old (6 in april)?

my ds loves the wizard of oz and loves the theatre and pantos. was thinking of taking him somewhere for some quality time. just not sure which show.

glad you got ur bras i got mine last week and theyalready dont fit my bra looks more and more like 2 scrum caps stiched together am goin to have to take them back and swap for the correct size.

Yes it is that one. I probably wouldn't take a young child, The storyline was quite adult - not rude but quite complicated and it has a big dragon which could be quite scary.
What about one of the chldrens theatres in london? I've always wanted to go to the Little Angel in Islington and the puppet barge and when baby comes I will have a good excuse. Or for a long runner the lion king? which I would also like to see.
There is also the Unicorn in southwark and the Polka in wimbledon