May 2016 babies - baby clothes, maternity leave and all the rest!

[GrouchyKiwi]

Here's the next thread!

How are you today grouchy? Hope all is well.

I don't know about anyone else (or if this is normal) but my baby's movements have become a bit insanely violent extreme in the past few weeks...I sat yesterday afternoon watching my belly moving from side to side and there were occasional mad movements that I can't even described but felt pretty uncomfortable. I'm feeling wiped out after the 22 hour journey home on Sunday and then a 12 hour working day yesterday and had a bit of a funny turn last night and another one this morning (dizzy and nauseous with a weird tingling shoulder) but I'm putting it all down to tiredness - does any of this sound familiar?! I'm 28+5 today...

Just catching up after leaving my phone at my parents on Sunday.

gunshot - 2am wake ups are horrendous. Sometimes if DS struggles to resettle in the night we bring him in with us and it does the trick. Could that be an option?

grouchy - great news on the dummy ditching. Gives me hope that DS will not be 30yrs old with a dummy in his mouth!

frozen - I think being slightly anaemic is pretty normal at this point. I would just recommend trying to manage it as much as possible with diet as prescribed iron tablets are grim.

Had the worst indigestion that last couple of days to the point I was worried I was going into early labour last night paranoid much! . Just got some gaviscon and already feel so much better. I literally had no symptoms with DS so this pregnancy has been a bit of a shock to me.

Hope you both,cant and grouchy, are feeling better. I think this is a bit of a rough stage by the sounds of it.

Hope you're ok grouchy

cant my baby's movements have definitely got more dramatic over the past week or so (29+2 today). She's always most active at night and some nights it feels like she's trying to break free already! Hope you're feeling better.

Definitely going to try and manage the anaemia with diet ODog (started with steak last night!) I don't like the sound of the side effects from prescribed tablets, having enough issues with constipation as it is!!

Thanks for the thoughts. It's just started again now after being absent all day but the MW reassured me that there's nothing to worry about - so long as I don't feel "cervical contractions", which supposedly I'd recognise right away since this is my third...

Hope you're doing ok now, cant.

My baby has started being very energetic too (I'm 26 weeks). I recall feeling almost bruised with DD2 around this stage as she partied in there. Is your baby sitting quite low down, cant? That always makes it feel worse, IME.

grouchy I hope you get some relief soon and baby isn't too eager to put in an appearance. Indigestion has reared its head again this evening. Just about to swig an entire bottle some gaviscon and head to bed and hope it doesn't keep me up all night again. Sticking to toast and water tomorrow I think.

Hey all, hope everyones ok, glad to hear you got reassurance from the midwife grouchy!
I've had the day off today to look at nurseries and go to the midwife. Is anyone else looking at nurseries yet? One of our options only has one place left for next April, had no idea I was meant to look so early.
Also would you recommend childminders or nurseries? I'm a bit torn as there seem to be advantages to both but nursery works out pricier. I'm concerned about childminder holidays and sickness as not sure how we would cover it.
odog I'm getting bad indigestion too, food just doesn't seem to go down properly. starting to notice more tiredness now too!

I found nibbling cheese works better than rennies and tastes better than gaviscon. My indigestion has been fairly mild recently though.

ODog DD tends to come into bed with us between 11 and 2. Around 2 she decides its morning and goes and stands by the stairgate until DH takes her down! Although last night she slept until 6, which was amazing. We move in 13 days so we're leaving any kind of sleep training until we're settled at the new place and just trying to sleep when we can until then.

I've been feeling a lot more movements recently too. Have a growth scan tomorrow, hopefully he'll be more cooperative than at previous scans!

My top tips for heartburn/indigestion are ice cream and apples, but never at the same time. I've had heartburn for years and both of those work brilliantly. (I have Rennies for after I've brushed my teeth, though.)

Ice cream is one of my go-to medications.

Grouchy ice cream is definitely the bet medicine for many many things. I hope you have no more labour scares before baby is much bigger! Bit curious as to how anyone distinguishes cervical contractions? I guess I'll find out in 3 months?...

Nice to hear about everyone's excitable babies, it often feels like I've got a little aerobics class going on in my belly.

Daphne I had no idea looking for nurseries was something that happened more than 2-3 months before needing them. ARGH! to be honest I have no idea how we'll manage childcare. DP is a policeman so works loads of weekends, lates and is often home late or has his days off cancelled last minute. I work pretty much every other weekend either 8hrs or 13hrs or a 13hr night and then I do quite a few 13hr long days but get random days off to make up for it. The days are all over the place though and often we only have a couple of weeks notice. Not sure how people manage out of hours care without family to help. Even though I don't plan on working full time I think I'll still have to pay for full time childcare because I'm not sure anyone will be happy swapping their days around like I have to. I'm losing so much sleep over this. Stupid DP keeps saying "it will all work out", but that's only because he knows I'll have to sort it out.

parsnip I think it might depend where you live how busy they are. I commute from a london borough so nurseries places close to the station (that arent ridiculously expensive) are like gold dust it seems.
We have similar issues in that dh works away a lot so ill need to be able to cover pick up and drop off which is almost impossible unless I reduce my hours which I'm not sure I'll be allowed to do and also that means taking a pay cut which we can't really afford with the extortionate fees. The one closest to our flat quoted us 1685 a month there's no way we can pay that.
Your situation sounds tricky, you might be better finding a childminder and coming to an arrangement with them?
What do other people do that you work with? Can you ask for more advanced notice?
I really don't know how people manage either! We don't have family nearby either, think it makes it a lot harder. I'm sure it will all work out but it is a worry.

Aerobics class is a good description!

Had a growth scan yesterday, which was all fine. For some reason I decided I was 19 weeks, so panicked when I kept seeing 26-27 weeks coming up for the measurements. Realised just before the end of the scan that I'm actually 27 weeks today, so it's all OK!

gunshot glad to hear all is looking well!

And nurseries....DP and I had horrendous rows an ongoing discussion about this when I was in my first trimester and beginning of second as he was adamant that we enrol immediately for the nursery at the university where he works which is apparently amazing (and he gets discounted fees) but has an 18 month waiting list and is miles from where we live which was clearly an effing stupid idea I didn't think was sensible. The argument eventually went away but we don't have a solution, we are in zone 2 so nursery prices are mental and no family close by, DP often works long hours with some overseas trips so no idea how everything will work or what my work arrangements will be - I wish I could just relax about it!!

Glad the scan went well gunshot

I'm another one worrying about nurseries. They have one at the university where I work and I would get discounted fees but the waiting list is long. They only allow you to put your name down once the baby is born but I think I will have to put her name down as I'm leaving to the hospital to get any chance of a place and even then it's not guaranteed. It would also mean I'd be tied to working for the university which I don't necessarily want! Childcare round here is also crazily expensive. Luckily my DP works very flexibly from home so can be on hand and his parents are retired and a 30 min drive away so I'm hoping they can do some childcare although we haven't actually asked them yet! I'm also hoping to go back to work 4 days a week although I haven't broached the situation with work yet either and not sure if they would agree to it!

frozen the way I feel about going back to work full time is basically when hell freezes over....have absolutely NO idea if my work will allow it though!!!

Gosh I can't believe how much some nurseries charge and how far in advance you need to get a place. I was really lucky that I was able to reduce my days from full time to 2 days per week after DS and I wfh. My mum looks after him on those days and picks him up and drops him off so I have literally no worries with that.

I don't think I'm going back straight after mat leave. I'll probably take a year career break on top of the years mat leave and reassess then hope for redundancy pay out .

Heartburn and indigestion have calmed down over last couple of days thank god so I've slept so much better. Helps that DH is a teacher and on half term so I can get a lay in while he gets up with DS.

I'm seconding the ice cream for the heartburn! Not tried apples so will have to!

As for nurseries, I work 4 long days (full time hours in 4 days) so DS is in 8-6 where DH does drop off so I can be in work for 7 and I pick up at 6. It's hard work but we needed the money. It costs me £70 a day in nursery fees though he has just qualified for free hours so luckily he can keep going whilst I am on Mat leave.

I have just put this baby on the list to go next April and it made me sob the thought of him going already.

Not sure how I will do two at nursery and all the household stuff and work full time. It's going to be some serious juggling

Sounds like everyone is having the same nursery worry then!
can't your situation sounds similar to mine. Dh can't be relied upon to do picks up and drops offs due to spending weeks overseas.
One option we have is moving away from London and getting a cheaper house so I don't need to work full time but his job is less secure than mine and I don't really want to leave my job completely.
We have found a good childminder that charges 820 a month rather than the 1300 nursery so quite tempted by her. Just concerned about covering her hols etc.
I dread to think what we will do if we have 2 kids!!

pikz half the reason I was arguing with DP about nursery was that I couldn't bear to think about/pay money to register the baby when i was 12ish weeks pregnant, it was totally heartbreaking and bloody ridiculous even though we were talking about April 2017!! Meanwhile I've spent some time figuring out mat leave dates today - I was totally in denial about the fact that the paltry SMP doesn't last for a year, so even though DP wanted me to have a year off with the baby that means zero income from around end January onwards - terrifying thought!! He can get 2 months at full pay so tonight has suggested that I go back to work at that point and he stays home (yeah right, he is a total workaholic and clearly thinks he can stay home AND work!!)...

The childminder sounds like a good option Daphne I really need to start properly researching into options but it feels like so far away and its so difficult to know what might change and I might be feeling in a years time. It's a shame that we need to already start thinking about these things!

can't I also feel the same way about returning to work full time! Other people have returned part time in other teams, but I'm in a small team of 5 and the first to ever plan on returning after mat leave so it's an unknown how my manager will react and how flexible she'll be. Also freaking out about the tiny amount of SMP followed by three months of no pay at all!! DP is self employed so has no guaranteed income either, I think we'll be mainly living off savings and sadly an inheritance that he is due to get soon.

I'm very lucky (or unlucky in some respects) in that is not viable for me to work for the next 2.5-4 years because of DH's job. I'm hoping to get some professional qualifications in that time so that it will be worth me working after that. I've already started to get stressed about childcare, I was looking up the costs of wrap around care one they're at school, it can be so expensive!

Started fasting for my gtt. I've been feeling rough the last few days, DD's been sleeping badly and I got 3 hours sleep last night. I'm looking forward to having 2 hours of doing nothing!

Is it wrong that I feel a lot better now I know I'm not the only one stressing about childcare already?!

I think a childminder would probably be the ideal solution for me, although if I have to leave for work at 7-7.30am and might not get in until 11pm on a long day (if work move me somewhere with a commute), I don't know who would tolerate that. Maybe a nanny would... but that would be so expensive. Perhaps I'll find the dream person who is happy to do random days (with a bit of notice).

It seems like everyone else in my situation either has a high earning DP/DH so can afford a nanny, has a DP/DH who doesn't work out of hours too so can pick up from childminders or nursery or they have relatives that can help. To be honest with the way junior doctor contracts etc are going at the moment part of me feels like I should just quit and do something else, but I LOVE my job and I don't think I'd be qualified for anything else. I certainly couldn't afford not to work as DP is just starting out in his job so is on lower wages for the next few years.

Just hoping that between my friends, my MIL coming to stay occasionally and a mis-match of different childcare we'll manage.

On a lighter note I tried the ice-cream cure for heartburn... it actually works!!!

Ahh been trying to get to sleep since 10am. Know DS will be up in 5hrs. DH snoring away. Baby going mental. Heartburn kicking in. I hate pregnancy at the moment. Can't belie I have another 2.5 months of this. Sorry for the post midnight rant!

10pm I meant. It's gone 2am now and still no sleep. I've given up and come downstairs for a change of scenery.

Oh no ODog :( I hope you're asleep now.

I've managed to get a few hours but I always struggle to get to sleep until past midnight. DD is still in her bed, which is crazy, I can't remember the last time she stayed in there past 3. I'm sure she'll wake as soon as I drift off!

I fell asleep on the sofa in the end as it seemed easier to prop myself up to try to relieve the indigestion pains and back ache. Last time I looked at the clock it was 2.45am and I woke up briefly at 4.45 but must have gone back off until 6.15 when DS woke up. DH offered to let me sleep more but I wasn't sure if be able to so I'm now watching cebeebies under the duvet on the sofa. DH did have the audacity to tell me he was tired and hadn't slept well too and then looked surprised when I gave him a sarcastic answer. Tosser! I can testify that he was snoring most of the night!

Glad your DD stayed in her bed. I truly understand how amazing that feels. DS is a lot better now but on the odd might he would stay in his bed we would celebrate. So much space!