May 2016 babies - baby clothes, maternity leave and all the rest!

[GrouchyKiwi]

Here's the next thread!

cant Surely if he wants the baby to go the nursery at his work, then he would be responsible for taking the baby there and bringing the baby home. Or you find a nursery that you like, close to where you work so you can deal with it. Or one of you becomes a SAHP. Men can be very single minded, can't they?!!

I don't think i should go back to work if all my wages are going on childcare, why pay for someone else to bring my children up? But DP thinks this means I just want to sit on my arse all day and not work!

(A) great point about wages. I earned a really good salary and was shocked when I looked at how much I'd actually have for working full time meaning my son would end up in nursery 8am - at least 5.30pm. So I stopped and am a SAHM.... Leading to my next point...

(B) being a SAHM is bloody hard work (if you're doing it right ) All day, all night, every day, every night, cook, clean, tidy, play, tantrum, paint, shop, laundry, puzzles, tantrum, nature walks, potty training, dentists, play dough, tantrum, swimming, doctors, clean, wash, cook, lego, numbers, letters, magnets, gardening, tantrum and on and on and on. It's absolutely brilliant and I love it but in a lot of ways is harder than when I managed a fairly large organisation

I think because you spend days "at home" it's seen as easy but a big part of being at home was actually not nice for me, I liked my work, I loved my career, it was a part of my identity and my sense of self and I gave it all up.

Agree with everything ice just said.

I would also add that it's hard for Dads to understand a lot as their lives change very little. After 2 weeks DH went back to his job, worked late if he wanted, still played cricket at the weekend, went out of he wanted etc. His life didn't really change too much so when I would flip out and say I need help with x,y,z then he would be genuinely shocked. Still happens now really, I think I'm just more accepting of it.

Is it too late to change our minds.....?


....

cant the good outweighs the bad. For example, DS had a horrific time going to bed tonight and ended up having a major meltdown as he was so overtired (after nanny and grandad let him stay up until gone 10pm last night ). However, after an hour and 20mins upstairs he fell into a really peaceful sleep and he looked so beautiful and I couldn't believe he was mine. And I know in the morning, even though he will probably kick and wriggle in bed with me all night, he will wake up with the biggest smile all pleased to see me and DH and looking forward to spending the day with us.

Was very annoyed with DH earlier as he decided sorting the garage was more important than tidying the house (which was a state and I'm in too much pain to do a lot). Burst into tears in the kitchen and he looked very shocked and suggested I lie down, cried for an hour or so then came down to find he'd done most of the tidying. Then cried because I'm so grateful. Keep thinking I feel something starting but its probably just wishful thinking as I'm sick of being pregnant!

The good definitely outweighs the bad. DD amazes me all the time, I'm constantly marvelling at how clever and beautiful and strong she is. She's just started saying 'luff oo too' which melts my heart every time!

Why do men do it? The car needs washed, grass needs cut, window latches need changed, gate needs painted..... THERE'S A PILE OF CHEERIOS ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR THAT YOUR SON IS TRICYCLING THROUGH!!! Priorities!

Oh cant - sorry! Honestly, DS is staggeringly amazing! He is utterly brilliant. Toddlers give you fresh eyes and let you rediscover the world. You see it as they see it and when they start to speak you can peep inside their tiny, miraculous minds.

It's just intense!

I think I'm just having birth fears...and also is a running joke with DP to say "what have I done...?"
Ok goodnight all, wishing everyone (and their respective DPs and small people) a great sleep!!

Awww thanks gunshot, odog and ice those stories melt my heart a little! Can't wait for this baby to arrive now.

Think I rather overdid it yesterday in my determination to keep active, so today has basically been a write off. Spent most of the afternoon in bed! Ah well.

Mixed reviews on the tens machine! Need to decide soon whether to get one. I've always liked the idea of the birth pool too but I've heard a couple of people say they can slow things down? Guess I'll just have to go with the flow on the day.

Nearly into May now

Here's an example of how men's lives don't really change. As predicted DS is very fractious tonight already and I think teething his final thank fuck molars. DH has gallantly offered to take the spare bed so DS and I can have some space. Nothing to do with the fact you will get a good nights sleep with no crying or thrashing about (from me or DS) eh DH?

Also glad that mine isn't the only one who dicks about in the garden/shed/car/loft all weekend. He said he might need to hoover the decking tomorrow ....

Hope everyone is asleep soon. DS has finally nodded off, so ok going to try to get some sleep too as I think this will be a long night.

ODog hope the night was better than predicted - am a bit at "hoovering the decking" - I do wonder if men go into a weird type of nesting syndrome too, but for seemingly pointless random tasks..
I finally convinced DP to move the 2nd double mattress off the top of ours last night so I did actually sleep a bit better! It's from the spare room so was moved by necessity for painting, but is cheap memory foam so he thinks it's better than ours (but it is slightly too small for our bedframe which is weirdo French sized) - but it's too high for me and the memory foam makes it like I'm trying to roll uphill if I need to move in bed! So just one mattress last night meant I actually slept solidly until just before 4am, but been awake since then...
My parents are coming to stay tonight to bring us their car and as they were pissed off with me about having not confirmed plans on Friday night I ended up telling my mum about the fight with DP so that she'd go easy on me, so that should be a fun visit! Wondering what happens if the baby decides to arrive while they are here - though I'm sure it's not going anywhere soon!!

Oh, and naturally I have been on the sofa since 4.45am searching for a nursery/childminder in our area...

Glad you had a better night cant. DH just appeared with tea and to take DS downstairs so naturally checking MN .

I don't think it's male nesting. DH spends all his free time between April and September fannying about in the garden. We have a v low maintenance garden so not sure what he does but it's infuriating. One summer he dug up the lawn just to re put the soil back and re-seed it. Very odd.

DS woke a few times crying - poor little guy. Teething is so cruel and I think just as he finishes I'll be starting again with this one.

ODog DH did that in our last house! Although the garden was very uneven before. He suggested doing it again when we moved in here until I reminded him that he hated it, and we might only be here for a year so it's really not worth the effort!

It's May! Hopefully by the end of the month we'll all be enjoying newborn cuddles and sleepless nights!

ODog - it's eerie - are you me?? My DH bought decking cleaner yesterday too (because every job needs a special cleaning fluid. I just use Daisy cleaner on everything!) and yesterday he applied the weed and feed to the lawn to "deal with" the moss - that I hadn't even registered - but he did say that after doing it that the grass would probably now require scarifying and raking

Though to be fair, he is wonderful husband who care for his house and garden, could be worse, could have a lazy, uncaring slob so I will stop complaining. He is a real catch and I'm lucky to have him (I'm in a good mood, he made pancakes for breakfast )

So sorry to hear more disrupted sleep for some and a thousand curses upon teething. We've got a whole new set of teeth to deal with ladies....

It gets weirder ice. He also just pointed out our moss problem (grass is green, so is moss, don't see the issue myself) and discussed buying an electric rake and then re-seeding the lawn again! However his face when I hung out washing earlier so he can't now the lawn until it's dry was priceless.

Teething is the worst. I think DD2 has started again, her little cheeks are so rosy and she's a mighty grouch. (Takes after me.)

Got to use the "midwife's orders" thing on DH today. We popped into the supermarket on the way home from church to pick yoghurt, chocolate and handcream, and then I saw chocolate brioches, tasty crisps and a box of assorted Krispy Kreme doughnuts. DH said "seriously?" and I said "midwife's orders" and he just sighed. Best thing ever. (Might be having too much fun with this.)

Now going to have at least two doughnuts for lunch.

Ice oh don't get me wrong I totally understand how hard it is, DS was 3 when I started working full time so I had the first 3 years as being a SAHM (although I was at uni a couple of days a week so did still get a little break).

DS amazes me everyday, he is so loving and polite and has such a sense of humour. He's learning to read at the minute and I could listen to him all day! It really is all worth the effort!

DP seems to think since I have finished work he doesn't need to lift a finger around the house.....I'm reaching boiling point with him and going to come to blows soon but right now I'm too tired to have the argument!

It's due date month though.....our babies will be arriving soon!

Enjoy your doughnuts grouchy

So a truncated version of the birth for anyone who is interested...
I was induced at 12 on Thursday. Waters broken straight away, contractions didn't get going though. I was taken to a delivery room and put on the drip at 4.30. Proper contractions got going at 6.30. By 7pm I was finding them quite overwhelming as there was no respite and I was wanting somethinh stronger than gas and air. I said yes to morphine and while the midwife was getting the injection I felt the urge to push. Had the shot at 7.20 felt I needed to push again. Got underwear off and told to go for it!
7.28 my gorgeous boy made his grand entrance! 9lb 1oz. He is super cute. I'm so happy it went well this time!

Aww katie that's fab! 9lb 1oz bet he's really cute and squishy

Wow Katie that's sounds like a straightforward and efficient labour and birth. Hope we all have good experiences. You home now? Is your own recovery ok?

Happy due date month everyone! I am so looking forward to not being pregnant anymore!

Sorry to hear about partners not pulling their weight. I'm fortunate that for the last 2 years DH has been either fully or partly a SAHD so he mostly knows the score. Doesn't generally prioritise the same as I would, but we can normally work it out. I did laugh at Ice's Cheerios scenario!!

Also agree with frozen and Ice re your dilemma cant - if your DP has an amazing nursery at his work then why on earth would you be doing drop off and pick up? Glad you got a better sleep on the one mattress.

Grouchy that's awesome that you are eating donuts on midwife's orders, enjoy!

Great birth story Katie, thanks for sharing

I am totally knackered today and getting some lower back pain. Due on Friday so potentially things are gearing up. Going to get an early night I think 😴

I'm due on Friday too pearly ! We are due date buddies!

That sounds like the perfect induction katie. How come you were induced if you don't mind me asking? That's a lovely weight. DS was 8lb15oz but long and gangly (as he still is) rather than chubby and squidgy.

Had a lovely day in the sun today. Took DS for a run around at the beach and had a drink in a pub garden after. Lovely. Feet are a bit puffy from the heat now though. How people are heavily pregnant in the summer is beyond me. Luckily I have had two Spring babies.

So glad it was a good experience Katie

Oi Pearly get in line... Me first ;) this baby needs to come out!

Thanks everyone
Yes armyofthree my own recovery has gone really well, just had a small tear this time so have some stitches but nothing major. With ds1 I had a pph, blood transfusion and then an infection so I honestly didn't expect to feel anything like I do now! I was only in hospital for 24 hours altogether.
I was induced because of SPD being really bad. I could hardly move towards the end and was on crutches, couldn't really leave the house or look after ds1. I was also worried about history repeating itself and having a large baby as ds1 was 10lb 9. I was 39+2 at induction.

Good luck everyone looking forward to hearing lots of lovely stories! xxx