March 2016 Babies #9 - we're on the final countdown!!

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Thread 9!!

indom, you've got me thinking about gussets like never before!
scared, seems very unreasonable to delay counselling for you now. I would be sticking to my guns though- surely they cannot refuse and it's up to you to decide how best to manage your time? Can you speak to them again and insist, or do you have anyone who can advocate for you on your behalf?
Had my 36 week app today. No leaking wee this time.
My sis is due to arrive in just under 3 weeks and I cant wait!(she's working as an expat in the UAE as a midwife there but worked in the NHS for a while before that- at the hospital where i'm giving birth!). The plan is that she's going to deliver this baby be my birthing partner and she's fab so really looking forward to that.

and Rhubarb- congrats on getting a date- so soon now. Try not to worry about the section (had one with my first). I think a positive frame of mind is more than half the battle!

I have my partner. I think I should take him along to see my gp but he can't get no time off work.
I'm not very good at sticking up for my self and just felt very tearful when she said I couldn't get any help at this time.
I feel so scared and alone.
I'll find a way though.

Missi Keeping everything crossed for Zachs homecoming!! He's been such a little star so far I'm sure he will soar through this as well

Scared I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so stressed again. At least you are on the final countdown for work now, and can soon start full time relaxing Keep going! You've come SO far and are SO close! You can do this (and so can your little lady!)

Dobby Glad you found your Rennies! At least they were ''hidden'' in a safe place lol bless her! Also the same with worrying about half term next week! It will be lovely to have DS home with me and not have to do the school run, but I am a bit worried about how bored he will get with the lack of activities, and how tired I'm going to be trying to entertain him and work at the same time He is SO good though I'm sure he'll be fine

Rhubarb Ahhhh how exciting!!! It must be so lovely to have a definite(ish) date that you're going to meet your son! I wouldn't say I'm against a C-Section. If my mw suggested it to me as the best option I would welcome it with open arms. I think the recovery period is longer with a section which is why a lot of woman would rather avoid one if they can. Still a LOT of women have an elected section and a LOT choose a c-section over a VBAC so they can't be that bad can they? Plus think of all the attention you'll get after

I'm thinking of asking my consultant on Friday whether I can choose to be induced on my due date. What are peoples opinions? I am absolutely fine with babies weight and was expecting a biggun anyway after my DS1. I'm fine with doing the labour. The worry I have is that baby will be too big for me to physically push out. DS1 got his head stuck for a while during labour and they were holding the knife ready to cut me (as he was getting distressed) when I had one last hulk push and got him out (without tearing woohoo!). Poor little guy had a red mark between his eye, and a little bruise over one of his eyebrows for a good 2 years because of it though! I don't know if it is something they would consider, because I did end up pushing him out on my own. But if this one is bigger maybe I won't be able to? Will they work on ''maybe's''? What would everyone else do? Should I just let nature take his course and let him try too come out when he's ready? I have today and tomorrow to think about it before I need to discuss my plan with consultant.

Thanks Hayley. I can't relax though. I have almost 24/7 restless legs now. They give me no respite, I saw oh lying on the sofa yesterday evening watching television whilst I was pacing around the lounge and just burst out crying as I so want to just sit down and watch TV in the evening.
If I need hospitalisation or something happens where I can't walk I don't know what I'll do.
Thanks for all the support though. Just so unhappy today.

Hay,say I would defo consider asking as you have lots of questions about it and they should be able to advise

Sorry Scared I didn't realise there was another page and totally missed your post!
I can't believe they don't think this is the right time for counselling! Can you get a second opinion? I totally agree with what Sher said. I had PND with my DS1 and they will give you a kind of score sheet to fill in when the midwife first comes to see you. They are really good at picking it up early now and you WILL get the help you need if you do happen to get it (which isn't guaranteed). Plus you have ALLLLLLLL of us we will all help you through too

ruhbarb I'm sure you'll be fine.

I've only ever heard one horror story about elcs and that was from a rather high matinance lady who was in the too posh to push club rather than affraid of giving birth or had a medical need. Elcs to her was the easy opption as was having a general rather than spinal block, which appparently can make you feel awful. I think she just throught they popped the baby out and you were suddenly back to your pre pregnancy self.

I was scared by the idea and did think it was going to be a painful, uncomfortable recovery. For the me the at its worst it felt like mild period pain and the wound feeling tight to begin with wasn't uncomfortable just took a little getting used to. I really only needed a couple of doses of pain killers while I was in but was written up for good stuff if it was needed. Then occational paracetomol or ibuprohen at home. I was discharged after two nights and felt up to going out pushing the pram by day 4. (Recovery would have been very pleasent if it wasn't for my pushy ils, but that's nothing to do with having had a c-section!)

Dd breast fed with no problem straight away.

I am pleased to be able to try for a vbac this time as bump isn't breech like dd. But wouldn't have worried at all about needing a repeat elcs and will have one if I don't go into labour naturally. Wanting to try for a vbac is more about the potential to be at home quickly after and not having to have people bring dd to visit and not having to warn her to be careful around me and the new baby all the time.

I think I posted all of what happened on one of our pervious threads but anything you want to know about just ask.

wow Rhubarb amazing you have a date!!!

sorry to hear your restless legs are still playing up scared. one of my pregnancy yoga teachers has a blog and I was looking at it recently and she has a post on restless legs - not sure if it will be useful but here's the link:

www.birthzang.co.uk/2015/04/restless-legs-pregnancy/

hayley it depends on how strongly you feel about natural labour etc. I would always go for natural labour unless unsafe, but that is me, I'm terrified of having a c-section. but it depends what you feel comfortable with. You have to remember though that their estimates of weight might be way off - one of the mums in my pregnancy yoga class was repeatedly told (and stressed out about) that her baby was going to be very big (i.e. a ten pounder) and she really worried about it. turns out the baby came out at 8 pounds! You also have to remember that if you are induced, it increases risk of having to have assistance etc. I can't remember but how big was your DS? if you managed to get him out without a tear last time that sounds very promising. but go with what you feel. Sorry if I've missed something obvious from one of your earlier posts - writing this on a bit of a rush on my lunchbreak!

had my 36 week MW appt today and home birth visit. it all went well. baby is apparently head down, very low! she really had to dig around to find it and I was panicking she was going to tell me the baby was transverse or something. but she reckons shes 2/5 engaged! she asked me if I felt lots of pressure low down and I said yes, when walking, so hopefully baby is stuck head down now and can work on making sure she isn't back to back. Also discussed home birth and it's all set at the moment, though she did warn me about potentially having to transfer or there not being enough staff etc. feeling quite positive about it though. although I have to be honest when she was talking to me about pain relief, tearing etc there was a bit of me inside going omggggggggggg I'm going to have to go through labour again . Just want this baby out now.

2 and a half days left of work, I have achieved nothing today due to MW appointment and an hour long meeting with a colleague! oh well, roll on Friday

oh and also, the MW told me today that my stomach muscles had separated quite a lot. so gutted! I knew it was going to happen because it did last time but honestly it makes such a big difference to your post-preg body, separated muscles = mum tum even when you lose the extra weight, as well as bad back and weak core. sad times.

Good luck to Zach and Missi for the eye scan today and to Scared for the bp check and growth scan.

Sorry to hear that the CSC had so many members last night (though your dd hiding your rennies in her doctors bag did make me laugh dobby).I had a crap night's sleep too but not pregnancy related. Ds couldn't sleep and then managed to empty an entire beaker of water over his bed and himself, so dh and I had a busy night.

How exciting to have a date when you will meet your ds Rhubarb. Have you got everything ready? No personal experience of cs, but a friend of mine had an elcs 3 weeks ago and she had a very positive birth experience and was home again fairly quickly afterwards.

Me I had primark pants and normal mat pads after ds's birth and had no problems at all with leaking or anything, even at night. This time I'm just going to wear my normal pants.

sherazade that's lovely that your sister is going to be your birth partner. Very useful to have an experienced mw there who knows you.

The scan this morning all went well. Fluid levels are perfectly normal, as I was expecting. It was nice to see baby wriggling around though, and made it all seem very real. I did ask the mw whether she could tell if it was a big baby (I know, I know, I need to let it go now!) but obvs she couldn't without measurements and she said you can never be really sure until the baby is born. So I've made the decision that I'm going to chill out now and stop worrying and googling obsessively about this.

I've been interrupted so many times typing this post, I expect I've cross posted with everyone now...

haley it is completely up to you (and your consultant) whether you have an elcs

Thanks for the reassurance dobby and Sher. I've been following some of the C section threads on here so hopefully I'll be prepared and calm. I am feeling better that at least I know what it happening now and can get everything organised. DS will be in nursery that day, but my friend has offered to pick him up (DP doesn't drive) and drop back home. DP will be off work for a few weeks and my sister is going to stay the following weekend, so should have enough help until I'm back on my feet.

Scared I'm surprised they are not offering you more help now, but like Hayley said, they will monitor you closely for PND after baby is born, and make sure you ask for any help you can from midwife / health visitors. Your body can cope with a surprising amount of stress. I went through a ridiculously stressful period towards the beginning of this pregnancy and was so surprised that it had zero effect on my blood pressure or anything else.

Hayley I would talk through all your options with the consultant on Friday. I don't know much about inductions, but there is a risk of shoulder's getting stuck with bigger babies, so they may suggest induction anyway?? I have heard lots of stories about the measurements being way out though.

marmite excited for you about your home birth. That would be my preferred choice too.

...posted too soon...

But growth scans can be inaccurate and my obsessive googling over the past couple of days has come up with many, many stories of women who were told their baby was already weighing some ridiculous amount, only to then give birth soon after to an average sized baby.

Also, as others have said, babies getting stuck is usually not because of weight. Maybe you could discuss with your consultant/mw ways you could help get baby into the best position possible?

Did you go overdue with your first?

Arrgh meant to say induced not cs!!! Sorry, I'm still being pestered by my child to get off mn and do some actual parenting. Very hard to concentrate.

About to rush out the door to go to work but just came on to show this thread to rhubarb www.mumsnet.com/Talk/childbirth/2533485-elective-c-section-booked-tell-me-your-stories although it sounds like you may have already found it? For a while I thought I would have to have an ELCS and this thread made me feel so much better, to the point where I was almost gutted to find out I don't need one! The idea of it all being planned on a certain day really appeals to me as it's the not knowing how or when it's going to happen or what it's going to be like that is freaking me out right now! Anyway good luck, will post more later!

PS have we heard from pug recently re. her potentially imminent arrival?

Thanks ffaux! I have been reading it and on the whole, quite positive stories.

Trinpy I think I have everything ready. Just need to pack more of everything as likely to be a few nights in hospital afterwards. We only live 10 mins from the hospital though so DP can bring in a second bag the next day. **

Rhubarb I am having a section on 2nd! I am looking forward to it. Last one was a crash section, so I am confident that an ELCS will be perfectly calm and civilised! Recovery was absolutely fine - was up and about with the pram and DD, who was three at the time, after around six days. Started running again after five weeks.

Not long until we meet our babies!

Also - is anyone who is on subsequent pregnancies getting false labour? For over a week now I have been getting regular, pretty painful contractions and back ache between around 10pm and 5am (hence the bath last night!). I know it isn't real labour, as they don't get worse or closer together, but it is stopping me sleeping and driving me mad! Waters went first with DC1 and 2, so not experienced this before

How exciting MrsBen! Am so glad to hear your previous one went relatively smoothly and the recovery wasn't too bad. Your 'Looking forward to it' comment makes me feel soooo much better.

Wow Rhubarb and MrsBen it must be so nice to know when you are going to meet your babies! (Well unless things start for you earlier!)

I'm just off to my 36 week appointment now. Annoyingly I left my notes at home so I need to pop back instead of going straight from work. My midwife is almost always running 15 mins or so late but it would be just my luck if she wasn't today!

scared the lack of support you are getting is shocking. You need help now to deal with your anxiety - you may also need help with pnd later on but that's a different issue! I would see if your DP can call the mental health team back on your behalf and insist that you are seen. Totally different situation but my DH was suffering from anxiety last year and was referred for telephone counselling. Even just a few sessions on the phone made a difference to how he was feeling so I really think it's worth you pushing for it. I know how hard it can be to be your own advocate. I'm a lawyer and totally aggressive and pushy at work but when it comes to my own life I let myself be talked around by doctors etc just like you - I've briefed DH that he will need to advocate for me in labour if I need it.

Thank you for your input everyone. It's really lovely to have people in similar positions to talk about this with. Thank God for Mumsnet!!
I was induced with DS1 as he was 2 weeks late (and still took another 2 days to make an appearance), so I'm not too worried about the whole induction process as it's all I know labour wise.

Marmite My DS was 10lb5oz! It would be a lot easier to shrug off the ''he will be big'' statements if my first wasn't already so big! I think if my first was a lovely little 7 pounder it would make it a lot easier to just ignore them. I know they can be hugely out on these ''guesses''. I think I would be disappointed if I went for an induction and he did turn out to be an average size, but I don't want to risk him getting stuck by head/shoulders or need some intervention if he IS going to be big....which I think he probably will be. Though he might not be as big if he's induced at 40 weeks. Do they put on weight faster after due date has past? Good to hear baby is starting to engage Getting real, now and not long til your maternity starts woo hoo!

Glad your scan went well Trinpy. Yes I was 2 weeks overdue with my first. It was frustrating because he got engaged really early on, stayed in the perfect position all the way through, never measured big on anything. It was the perfect pregnancy! When I went overdue I had 2 sweeps, and both times they midwife said she could feel his head and even told me he had hair! I had mild contractions after and lost my plug and STILL nothing happened! No idea why he was so late. I've heard second pregnancies are shorter and am kind of clinging to that! It's hard not to obsess over size isn't it?

MrsBen I'm on my second and getting Braxton Hicks quite regularly (and often painful) now, but nothing like contractions or the back pain. Hope it's a good sign for you! Do you get the every night?

It was honestly fine, Rhubarb. I had a normal delivery with DD, so I was expecting the same with DS. If I had been told that I was having a section beforehand I would have been devastated, but I found it surprisingly easy to recover from (and it was a real emergency under GA, so very rushed).

Keep on top of painkillers and don't push yourself and it will be fine. Breastfeeding was a dream compared to DD and it is nice to have a genuine excuse to take it easy, so you don't feel like you have to be up and cleaning the very next day!

Three weeks to go!

No false labour but plenty of cramps and serious braxton hicks since about 16 weeks but since I went over last time by three weeks and same symptoms not holding my breath
Marmite am so pleased for you that the baby is head down , phew!! I bet it isn't back to back - the lump you feel must be its bum and I don't think a back to back baby would have started to engage at this point either . We can both breathe now I was also worried as dd1 Was breech and this one was transverse for a bit !

Hayley, every night apart from one in the last ten(ish) days. Very common for third pgs apparently, but super annoying!

Just had my midwife appointment, the bump is still measuring slightly small so I do not think I will be having a whopper thank goodness! She said I might have a uti though so I have to get the doctor to check it again tomorrow when I am seeing them anyway about my iron levels.

Baby me is also just beginning to engage, finally! so hopefully the pressure on my lungs will ease now! He is only 1/5 engaged but that's a start. I am 36+5 today.