June 2016 #6, Blue? Pink? Yellow? Where did the first 20 weeks go?

[nehagarg]

Loving the latest scan news! Happy new thread everyone.

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Thanks Grubby, my relationship with my parents has been quite strained over the last few years for exactly that reason! They seem to confuse "listening to their opinion" with "doing what they say" lol! And my poor DH seems to bear the brunt of the blame purely because he has given me the courage to stand up for myself. As you say, whatever you choose to do should be your decision and I imagine staying at home is as tough as going back to work. I should have known this was coming- I am just not looking forward to the next few months of barbed comments about it. I'd totally forgotten they had a massive row with my bro and SIL when she went back to work- and they don't even provide any childcare for them despite being 10 mins away. They are at least 2 hours from us so aren't offering a different solution (not that we would necessarily want that anyway). Arghhh! [Bangs head against brick wall]

I know your Mum won't see it this way Eastend, but my DS was in nursery at 7 months and took to it amazingly - he absolutely loves it there and I see it as a privilege that he goes there instead of a consequence of me needing to work. His days are far more varied and stimulating at nursery than they are at home - there's a limit to my resources but the nursery do all sorts with him! And I know he eats food cooked from scratch on those days so I don't feel guilty about the odd fish finger supper when he's at home!

Eastend - so sorry they aren't seeing your point of you. You are only trying to do the best for your child and keep a roof over your heads! My DS has been in nursery full time since he was 8 months old and he is a happy, loving and well adjusted child! As with you, I am the main bread winner. My career is very technical and there is no way I could take a five year break and pick up where I left off. Part time hours aren't really an option either. Unfortunately you may well get negative comments from others, you just have to smile and get on with what's best for your family, not other people's families. By the way, the nursery you've found sounds lovely and it has such a long waiting list because it's perfectly normal for mothers to have to go back to work in this day and age.

Thanks ladies. Mrsmugoo I totally agree, there are many ways to be a good mum and it annoys me so much that those close to me are being so judgemental! Bring a parent must be tough enough as it is! The worst thing though is implying we don't care enough about our child if we are leaving it in the care of others?! After all we have gone through to get here, nothing could be further from the truth! Surely it's better if I am fulfilled in the daytime and we enjoy our time apart rather than me begrudgingly staying at home. Grrr!! Obviously if the LO doesn't thrive at nursery then we'll find another option but I doubt that'll be the case!

The nursery you visited sounds lovely eastend DS1 has been in nursery since he was 10 months and really enjoys it. Yes he did cry being dropped off at first but he quickly settled and has make some really strong friendships and has a great relationship with the adults there too. All of which I see as positives for him and it's what he's always known. It's not like a lot of us have a choice about whether to go back to work or not!

Thanks Strawberry- we are lucky in that technically speaking I don't have to go back to work but I want to. If we made that I wasn't going back to work, we'd need to move out of London, give up holidays, make large economies in our living standards and put my husband under a huge amount of strain and that would make us all unhappy. I am glad we aren't going down that route! Fundamentally though, I would agree with Mrsmugoo and see it as a huge privilege for our DC to go to a nursery where they are happy and stimulated (as long as they are, of course!)

East end I'd try not let your mums views get to you X nothing wrong with ur child going to nursery and I think in long run it actually makes them much more sociable. I couldn't stop work completely I would end up demented

eastend just echoing what everyone has said. It's easy to get criticised for every decision you make during pregnancy/child raising (breast v bottle, Moses basket v cot

Agh posted too early!! Was going to say the most important Q to ask yourself is: is this choice right for me and my family? If yes - you're doing the right thing. And what others think doesn't really matter - their response says more about them than you. That nursery sounds lovely, too!

Ahh thanks ladies, yes I think I'm going to have to grow a tougher skin. I'm sure this is only the first decision we'll get judged for. At least I am lucky that my MIL brought up two boys on her own while working full time so she has always been a lot more on our wavelength 😊

Belleboo that does sound like Braxton hicks- your bump goes really solid (and mine goes kind of pointy!!), and it just feels very odd.

Nehagarg and Belleboo hope your appointments went ok today.

Eastend that sounds tough with your mum. It does sound like a lovely nursery, and you just have to do what's right for your family. Hopefully your mum will be more positive (or at least less negative!) about it eventually.

Eastend sounds tough but I have seen first hand what happens when kids dont go to nursery because Indian parents have the same thought pattern as your mum and dont send their children to nursery. Their kids become clingy and dont like visiting strangers and going new places. Its much much better for a child to go to nursery. It makes them much more open and stimulated.

Scan went well. The baby's head has caught up and is now measuring normal. Phew!

Thanks Mollie and Nehagarg, it's always reassuring to hear others coming from the same place. Oh Nehagarg so pleased for you, I have been keeping everything crossed all day, I'm sure it's been a terrible worry. Will they keep monitoring or is that it now?

Nehagarg, that's such good news, I'm really happy for you.

I just went to the midwife to get my iron levels checked as I'm beyond exhausted. They were fine, and as crazy as it sounds I'm really disappointed, I wanted something to be be able to fix.

I am just so fed up with being pregnant. I spent on average 2/3 days in bed a week, only having energy to get up and eat meals and then just go back to bed. DH is running himself ragged trying to hold the family together,and I just feel pathetic because I just can't do anything. This pregnancy is going at a snails pace. In the last two by this point I was redecorating, this time is so different.

I'm sorry to rant and rage, I'm just so upset that there's nothing to help me. I walked through the door and just burst into tears on DH. I'm more tired now than I was in the newborn stage with DC.

That's great news nehagarg!!

Well my prem prevention appointment wasn't at all what I expected ended up with an internal scan and having various swabs taken. Was just expecting a chat so it stressed me out a bit...didn't help that appointment was 1.5 hours late so sat there worried after the receptionist told me what happens! Anyway cervix looked fine/normal and saw a bit of baby again only lower half so must be head up at the minute!! Got to go back at 30 weeks for another internal scan where she will decide if there's a change and if it's looking like I will deliver early again, which is obviously highly likely. If that's the case I'll be given steroid injections for babies lungs

Thanks so much for the thoughts everyone. Its a massive relief. No more scans Eastend. This is it. Everything else is measuring bang on average which is how we like it (at least until he starts going to school)

Need to start researching nurseries now.

It always annoys me when they dont discuss with us Belleboo. Surely wont hurt to sit down and talk for 5 minutes. But glad all looked normal for now. Fingers crossed for the 30 week scan.

Sounds horrendous biking but glad your DH is beig very supportive. I hated the flrst 15 weeks of being dead with fatigue so I can imagine that 20 something weeks of it must really be driving you crazy. Hopefully it will get better asap. Does midwife not have any thoughts on what else might be causing it? B12 deficiency causes fatigue too.

Had our John Lewis nursery advice appt today. Lots of good info and have almost made our minds up on the pram. Its been a good day!

I think I might be developing carpal tunnel. My right forearm hurts and its all the way into my first and second fingers. Will mention to midwife next week as its very annoying. Hopefully it wont get worse

Not slept proper for days so used the time to have a go at making a blanket feeling quiet proud of my self

Ooo Clarish, looks lovely- well done!

Oh wow clarish. Thats beautiful. Good job.

Clarish that's lovely xx anyone else got their scan today? I feel like it's dragged till this point x

Good luck LouLou! I hope all goes well. If anything, I feel like time has dragged since my scan, I'm so impatient to have the LO here now!

Eastend does it feel like time has stopped? Xx

I love it clarish! Well done!
Good luck for today loulou!!!

Haha, yup! Trying to stop myself from buying more cute clothes Have people planned names yet?

DH and I can't agree on names Eastend! So our little girl is currently nameless...