Due May 2007 - Thread for week commencing 18/12/06

[wewishyouamerrychristmouse]

Good Morning ladies
I am still trying to catch up with last weeks thread so thought I would cheat and start this weeks instead.
Hope you are all well. I am now going back to last week to try to catch up.

thanks so much they have told us all the different reasons it could have happened just i werent expecting it got five very healthy boys and i carried them with no problem and like most people i had to my 12 wk scan and everything was ok so thought i was past danger time also i heard the heartbeat at 16 week appt so shock dont even begin to explain it dont think it will properly sink in til friday and to top it off my youngest sister is pregnant and is due 3 weeks before i was just so worried about trying to be normal over xmas for the kids luckily we had not told them so at least we dont have to try and explain things to them and with it being xmas may give us something to focus on for two days

I keep typing things and then deleting it as i dont want to say anything that could upset you with regards as to what to do next.

I really hope that Friday passes as easily as possible for you and your dh and that you are able to have some time to grieve. Try and draw strength from your 5 wonderful sons and keep communications levels high with your dh as you will need to support each other through this tough time.

sunnysam, i am so so sorry for your loss. i can't come up with anything helpful to say that snowymeadow hasn't already said. just know that we are here for you and we will all be thinking about you on friday and beyond.
lots of love, jess.

Sunny, so sorry to here you are going through this, my heart goes out to you, I went for a scan at 29 wks and was told baby wouldnt survive, I had to go home to take the news in and go back the next day, I had 1st course of treatment, the went back 48hr later, I was scanned again and told he had already passed,I was induced and went through labour, I was so wacked out on morphine I didnt want to see baby until i woke up a bit later, we had taken clothes for him to be dressed in and they took photos and we had a cuddle, hardest thing handing him back knowing the next time he would be with us was when we were burying him, we took the offer of a post mortem - they will go through lots of forms with you, it is all to do with consent in the light of Alder Hey fiasco, still it just washes over you, you get your photos and footprints, your midwife will come and check on you at home as with a live birth, tbh the choices for funerals are dependant on your personal choice, I think alot of people opt for a shared grave - this is where a few babies are in a shared grave and a name plaque is put up, we had a private funeral - mainly again down to personal choice, it wasnt something i wanted for my baby to be in a "community grave", it was very expensive, depnding on if you have a post mortem or not you will be invited back to hospital to discuss the results and have councelling, the hospital will also advise you as to when your baby will be moved from hospital to funeral directors for arrangements to be made, this is sooooooo hard, I know what you are about to go through and i am cryig my eyes out for you, please feel free to email me if you need to or have any questions [email protected]

sorry of this has been a hard read for anyone else

Lisa xx

Oh, dear, all I can say is, this is the saddest thing I've heard of yet. I am so, so sorry it has happened to you. I don't know what I would do if it were me...it is my worst nightmare, and you have to live through it, you poor thing...

This is completely unhelpful - the practical advice is so much better - but know we will be praying for your fast recovery, physically, mentally, emotionally, and as a couple. (((((HUGS)))) and buckets of tears for you. X

thanks lisa where i live they dont do communal burial you actually get your own plot in a special baby and children cemetry at no cost to us what so ever so that is looking like what we will do. I was just confused would i cope better if i didnt see it or if i held it also my husband pretends to be a tough cookie and really he is not he is in a bad way and i have to take into consideration what he wants. Think we need to spend all of tomorrow talking. Some people have really annoyed me they keep saying that cos i have got 5 boys 'i bet you hope it is not a girl' what so if it is a boy it dont matter and the usual cliche 'you should be grateful for what you have got' oh and my favourite 'you should be glad it obviously had something wrong with it' i feel like a bitch everything everyone says just seems so uncaring like i should just carry on and forget this aint happening. You lot on here are the only people who have said the right things, thank you so very much
sam xx
lisa i will e mail you tomorrow will probably have loads of questions once we sit down and make some definite decisions if that is ok

Hi

Thats fine, i know what you mean, people only mean it in the kindest way, but it is too painful at the end of the day it is your baby regardless of sex or if there is a problem, had it been born live they would nt say it, my grandad still says everything happens for a reason love - hmmmm sorry gramps but something are just too unfair, when i told my partner he was surprised how emotional he was - usual toughy, he didnt cry as much as my bucket loads but he did shed a few tears, For me i wasnt sure about seeing the baby at all, I'm glad I did, kind of made him real, please email me, I will be glad to help as much as I can

Lisa xx

Sunny, I?m so sorry to hear about your loss. Please don?t apologise for talking to us about this and I?m glad you are feeling you are getting some support through others experiences. I wish I could add something/anything that will be of any benefit or make this any easier, but I can?t. It?s no comparison really, but I m/c at 12 weeks on my 1st pgy. What really helped was just talking and talking with my DH. I felt no-one else properly understood so we were a badly needed emotional crux for each other. For what it's worth, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family for Friday and beyond.....

Sunny,

I'm so sorry for you. I don't know what to say. I hope God gives you the strength to face these next few days.

I'm sorry. What a sad, sad thing to happen. It must be unbearable. Please keep checking in and let us know how you're feeling and hopefully we can help in some way.

Lots of love. x

sunny, my mind has been taken over by your situation. you poor dear. i wish i could do something practical for you like cook a meal or clean the car or something because i can't think of any words that i think will have a chance to make you feel better. too bad i am so far away. please take some of our well wishes with you.

Sunnysam,

I am AM(SM) friend who had the same loss as you. I like to keep track of her and how she's doing.

If you need to chat about anything please feel free to ask me - if you are on msn AM can give you my hotmail address.

All I can say is I'm so sorry you have to go through this, take you time and make sure you deal with the full range of emotions your going to go through. I promise that although you feel like your heart has broken in two at the moment thing DO get better!

I found it helped to see our little boy after I had given birth - I was so scard about the birth bit as I was worried the pain would be the same as with a normal birth. It's actually not the same at all - the baby is so tiny that there is very little pain at all and the Dr's can give you strong painkillers, even morphine if you wish.

Like I said - if there is anything you need please contact me. I found that I couldn't face my family and friends for a while after it happened, I actually came on MN and spoke to some other people that had been through the same which really helped.
Take care - my thoughts are with you and my little baby boy today!

Sunny, So so sorry. Words just don't cover it.
You must be in so much pain emotionally. I can't even begin to imagine.
I wish you lots of strength to get through this. Like you say, hopefully the distraction of watching your boys enjoy christmas will help ease the pain just a little or at least take your mind off it momentarily.

Wish I could help in some way. Just want you to know we're here to share everything, so absolutely no need to apologise for posting whenever you want and need to.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Much love xx

Sunnysam, big hugs and thoughts will be with you tomorrow. x

Sunny
I am so so sorry to hear your news.I cant imagine how you are dealing with this.But I send you all the support and love I can and I will be thinking about you and your family..
When I has my mc I didnt really grieve as I should have done as people told me it wasnt a baby yet and it would've been poorly and all that.I was too upset at the time to question it but reading your earlier post made me so upset for you-he was your baby and you must take as long as you need to grieve him properly and the same goes for your dh..
Im so sorry-thats all I can say-I wish I could think of something more helpful..
Please carry on talking to us all if it helps..

Hello ladies - I am hoping this won't be offensive, but I wanted to share a teeny bit of good news - my best friend gave birth yesterday afternoon, at last...a (tall) little boy who ultimately arrived by c-section and all is well. I have never lived in one place for long, but now it is really bothering me, because she is soooo far away (LA) and all I can do is sit here online and mentally send her hugs and tears of joy... When, oh when, will They invent teleporting?!?!? She was my maid of honour and possibly the only other woman (besides you lot! ) who ever comes close to understanding ...

OMG why does pg make you such an emotional wreck????

Anyone skilled in the arts of persuading the weather gods to cooperate, please do something special, because we're supposed to fly to Germany on Saturday and it's looking like we might be going no-where...

Sunny - more big hugs for you. I am still shattered by your loss & pray for you. X

SANDS

CRUSE

For when you are feeling you may need a little extra support, these two wonderful organisations will be there.

I am so terribly sorry for your loss sunnysam and you talk to us as much as you need to. You must let yourself go through this and accept each new emotion as it takes you. It is a sad, angering, devastating and lonely thing that you are going through but there are plenty of people on here and surrounding you who will want to help you in any way they can. I may never meet you, our paths may never cross, but on Friday I will be holding you and your littlest one in my heart.

It is very hard for people around you to tell you how sad they are and how much they care. I know all of the stock phrases are not only useless, but deeply upsetting. It doesn't matter whether your baby was poorly, what gender it is, whether you can get pregnant again or whether there is some greater plan- you wanted this little baby and the life you had planned for it. Just know that those people who say those things are only reaching out because they at least want to say something.

I will be thinking of you often in these next few days and over the Christmas period. I wish you lots of strength and love.

Hello Sunny.

I'm so very sad to hear your tragic news. I wish there was something that I could do or say to help you but I don't have any experience in this situation. Lupin and April's friend would be good people to talk to and please, please know that you can always come here to talk things over and receive sincere support and listening ears.

Thinking of you.

Redkenendy - 11/1 - not finding out - due May 19th
jessinwa-05/12-not finding out--due April 26
April/Snowymeadow-22/12 - hoping to find out but keeping it a secret - think it might be a girl, dont mind either way - due 3rd May
ShowOfHands- 3/01- hoping for a boy -- due May 17
Lareginandtonic - boy -- due 13thmay
Peacemaker - 12/1 - hoping for a girl after 2 boys - due 19 May
twelve - 05/01 - don't mind, but one side of the family will be disappointed either way. DH won't let me tell anyone but you lot. - due 19 May also
pebblemum-2/01-hoping for a girl--due May 23
MKG-1/10-hoping for a girl--due May 26
JonahB ? 29/12 ? don?t mind as long as its SMALL (DS was 8lbs 8, I?m 5?)
Creena - 11/01 - already have one of each so don't really mind (although I am convinced that it will be a girl) - due 27 May
Lupins - 7/01 - cute and healthy pls - due 29 may
Pinkjenny - 8/1 - think its a boy - due May 27
Juicylucy - 16/1 - hoping for a girl, think its a boy! - due May 29
lilKel - 19 /1 - hoping & thinking it's a girl - due 3 June

Sunnysam. I'm really sorry to hear your sad news, you must be devastated. Thinking of you and your family. xxxx

Hi disco dollies

Sam - so sorry to hear your news, that is just horrendous. Be strong for your five babies, and we are here if you need us.

Sorry to be really insensitive - but my news is good today. Got my triple test results and Downs is 1 in more than 8000, spina bifida and neural tube defects in the normal range. Just been for midwife appointment and heard LO's heartbeat for the first time.

Its been kicking like mad, usually around 5pm and 9pm. Dh felt it for the first time today too.

TPT was still 8 - same as last week.

Juicy - back to the Bugaboo debate - I never go on buses! As long as it goes in my boot, I'm happy. Car boot, not shoe.

JonahB - I'm a Sale girl too, at least I live here now, is that what you mean, or are you from here originally?

Redkenendy - 11/1 - not finding out - due May 19th
jessinwa-05/12-not finding out--due April 26
April/Snowymeadow-22/12 - hoping to find out but keeping it a secret - think it might be a girl, dont mind either way - due 3rd May
ShowOfHands- 3/01- hoping for a boy -- due May 17
Lareginandtonic - boy -- due 13thmay
Peacemaker - 12/1 - hoping for a girl after 2 boys - due 19 May
twelve - 05/01 - don't mind, but one side of the family will be disappointed either way. DH won't let me tell anyone but you lot. - due 19 May also
pebblemum-2/01-hoping for a girl--due May 23
MKG-1/10-hoping for a girl--due May 26
JonahB ? 29/12 ? don?t mind as long as its SMALL (DS was 8lbs 8, I?m 5?)
Creena - 11/01 - already have one of each so don't really mind (although I am convinced that it will be a girl) - due 27 May
Lupins - 7/01 - cute and healthy pls - due 29 may
Pinkjenny - 8/1 - think its a boy - due May 27
Juicylucy - 16/1 - hoping for a girl, think its a boy! - due May 29
lilKel - 19 /1 - hoping & thinking it's a girl - due 3 June
InTheseShoes - scan 9/1, not finding out, due 25 May

Thats great new PJ. A very good result.

Redkenendy - 11/1 - not finding out - due May 19th
jessinwa-05/12-not finding out--due April 26
skytvaddict - 08/12 - a boy - due April 27 (still secretly hoping for another girl though)
April/Snowymeadow-22/12 - hoping to find out but keeping it a secret - think it might be a girl, dont mind either way - due 3rd May
ShowOfHands- 3/01- hoping for a boy -- due May 17
Lareginandtonic - boy -- due 13thmay
Peacemaker - 12/1 - hoping for a girl after 2 boys - due 19 May
twelve - 05/01 - don't mind, but one side of the family will be disappointed either way. DH won't let me tell anyone but you lot. - due 19 May also
pebblemum-2/01-hoping for a girl--due May 23
MKG-1/10-hoping for a girl--due May 26
JonahB ? 29/12 ? don?t mind as long as its SMALL (DS was 8lbs 8, I?m 5?)
Creena - 11/01 - already have one of each so don't really mind (although I am convinced that it will be a girl) - due 27 May
Lupins - 7/01 - cute and healthy pls - due 29 may
Pinkjenny - 8/1 - think its a boy - due May 27
Juicylucy - 16/1 - hoping for a girl, think its a boy! - due May 29
lilKel - 19 /1 - hoping & thinking it's a girl - due 3 June
InTheseShoes - scan 9/1, not finding out, due 25 May

Still in tears from catching up on this thread, first happiness for CM, then dismay for SS. Sunnysam I will also be thinking of you tomorrow.x

Redkenendy - 11/1 - not finding out - due May 19th
jessinwa-05/12-not finding out--due April 26
skytvaddict - 08/12 - a boy - due April 27 (still secretly hoping for another girl though)
April/Snowymeadow-22/12 - hoping to find out but keeping it a secret - think it might be a girl, dont mind either way - due 3rd May
ShowOfHands- 3/01- hoping for a boy -- due May 17
Lareginandtonic - boy -- due 13thmay
Peacemaker - 12/1 - hoping for a girl after 2 boys - due 19 May
twelve - 05/01 - don't mind, but one side of the family will be disappointed either way. DH won't let me tell anyone but you lot. - due 19 May also
pebblemum-2/01-hoping for a girl--due May 23
MKG-1/10-hoping for a girl--due May 26
BethnalBubnot finding out (unless its obvious!)due May 26
JonahB ? 29/12 ? don?t mind as long as its SMALL (DS was 8lbs 8, I?m 5?)
Creena - 11/01 - already have one of each so don't really mind (although I am convinced that it will be a girl) - due 27 May
Lupins - 7/01 - cute and healthy pls - due 29 may
Pinkjenny - 8/1 - think its a boy - due May 27
Juicylucy - 16/1 - hoping for a girl, think its a boy! - due May 29
lilKel - 19 /1 - hoping & thinking it's a girl - due 3 June
InTheseShoes - scan 9/1, not finding out, due 25 May

updated with scan date!

Redkenendy - 11/1 - not finding out - due May 19th
jessinwa-05/12-not finding out--due April 26
skytvaddict - 08/12 - a boy - due April 27 (still secretly hoping for another girl though)
April/Snowymeadow-22/12 - hoping to find out but keeping it a secret - think it might be a girl, dont mind either way - due 3rd May
ShowOfHands- 3/01- hoping for a boy -- due May 17
Lareginandtonic - boy -- due 13thmay
Peacemaker - 12/1 - hoping for a girl after 2 boys - due 19 May
twelve - 05/01 - don't mind, but one side of the family will be disappointed either way. DH won't let me tell anyone but you lot. - due 19 May also
pebblemum-2/01-hoping for a girl--due May 23
MKG-1/10-hoping for a girl--due May 26
BethnalBub-16/1-not finding out (unless its obvious!)--due May 26
JonahB ? 29/12 ? don?t mind as long as its SMALL (DS was 8lbs 8, I?m 5?)
Creena - 11/01 - already have one of each so don't really mind (although I am convinced that it will be a girl) - due 27 May
Lupins - 7/01 - cute and healthy pls - due 29 may
Pinkjenny - 8/1 - think its a boy - due May 27
Juicylucy - 16/1 - hoping for a girl, think its a boy! - due May 29
lilKel - 19 /1 - hoping & thinking it's a girl - due 3 June
InTheseShoes - scan 9/1, not finding out, due 25 May