July 2016 (3)

[allthegoodnamesalreadytaken]

Trying to start a new thread before we run out of space, haven't done it before so hopefully it works

Was talking about the screening last night with DH. We are both in favour of getting the screening and going from there. Hard to think about, though.

i know we're were trying to keep the thread positive weren't we, sorry :/

We will be getting screening, partly due to age (although am not 35 until February), but mostly because DH has been very clear that he does not think he could cope with a disabled child. I know I may get flamed for that, but he has pretty major depression and it would make things a lot worse. He often gets feelings of being trapped, and has said he would worry that it would get worse. Obviously, it would depend on the actual risk levels involved, but I don't think I could ignore his concerns.

I don't think anyone would want to flame you Lily. These are difficult and personal decisions and everyone has to make the best choice for them.

lily, my DH has said similar about not thinking he would cope, although he is not depressed. I think it would make our relationship very difficult. Obviously other things may happen over which we have no control, and then we would just have to cope. But with the screening available for this, we would be able to choose, and I don't think we would choose to cope.

However, I follow an amazing blog - enjoying the small things - written by a mother of three, one of whom has Downs, and I should think she would be an inspiration to anyone choosing to go ahead with a Downs pregnancy.

I think it is really important that we all do what is right for us and our situations. You shouldn't have to worry about being flamed. You are the only person who knows your situation! Xx

What does the screening involve? If there's no risk to baby then I will get it done. I'm not sure I could cope with a disabled child and not sure if it would be fair on any younger siblings. My brother in law is disabled (not hereditary) and it's very hard work and often quite unfair on my DH and myself although we do love him dearly, just think it's somewhat unfair that since my husband was very young he's had that responsibility and one day he will be our responsibility full time. Which is another reason I don't think I could cope, already having a life time commitment as it is. Sorry if that sounds horrible, it's not nice to think about these things but it's a fact of life xx

We are getting the harmony test along with the private scan at 10 weeks. (I am also 35 next year) I know its costly but we want to be as sure as we can be without invasive tests before we make any decisions. If we need to go ahead with an amnio to get a definite answer then we will. If we get a definite diagnosis of downs or another serious chromosomal disorder, I don't think we would continue. DH has a very demanding job and we live very far away from my family so I think it would make everything that little more difficult for me personally. Even writing this makes me feel ridiculously selfish. Its such a difficult subject. On a positive note the harmony test can also let you know the sex of the baby at 10 weeks...but again, would I want to know that along with any bad news as this would make us feel so much more attached.

What's the harmony test? Xx

Thanks, I should have known you are all lovely and understanding it's interesting that a few others feel like that, I was worried I'd be the only one!

Unfortunately we can't afford the harmony test, so will just get the standard NHS ones and take it from there. I'm trying to save up for a doula, although not sure if I will be allowed or able to have a natural birth.

Its a blood screening test, said to be the most accurate without invasive testing - so not diagnostic like an amnio. They are able to pick up any abnormalities from the mothers blood. Supposed to be 99% accurate. Here is a link I found when I was researching.

www.edinburghclinic.com/services/harmony/

And here is a link for the NHS testing

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/screening-amniocentesis-downs-syndrome.aspx

xx

the NIPT /harmony scan looks very tempting to have - especially as it includes a gender test. that means i could find out the gender of my baby in 1 and a half weeks!! but its soo expensive there is no way i could afford spending that much money when you get pretty much the same on the NHS 2 weeks later (although i know on the NHS you have the risk of an invasive test).

I think i'm going to wait until my 12 week scan and then if anything comes up as high risk i could weigh up the possibility of a private NIPT/harmony or the NHS invasive tests at that point.

these new tests have only come out this year so its all so new to everyone

Was talking about the screening last night with DH. We are both in favour of getting the screening and going from there. Hard to think about, though.

Thanks for the links. How much is the harmony test? Can't see a cost anywhere xx

Sorry, posted that twice!

i think its different around the country. £499 near me!

Ah ok, that's really tempting! X

it would be amazing to get an all clear on the baby's health, plus the gender at 10 weeks..!

I'm in two minds about the screening. I didn't with dd because I didn't care. I was having the baby and that was that. This time, I worry that dd would be affected if we were to have a baby with a life limiting illness. It is hard to know what to do for the best. My SIL said the nuchal fold test gives you a longer scan which would be nice. My 12 week one with dd was so quick and business like it was actually quite upsetting.

Kaytee , I got one in Glasgow for £475 including a scan. Some are £500 and don't even include scan to verify everything is generally OK before bloods are taken. I asked them if they would charge me for the full appointment if scan showed something was wrong in general and bloods weren't necessary and they said they would only charge me £45 for the scan. Again prices do vary.

Just ordered a couple of maternity catalogues in the post. Squeak! Think I'll probably be needing maternity stuff much earlier this time around but definitely not buying anything until the (hopefully) all clear at 12 weeks.

Bearstuff I've been looking online at maternity clothes, I doubt I will need them for a while as it's my first and I've lost a couple of lbs in the last 2 weeks - despite eating everything in sight Just love buying clothes and I know there's no point in buying any new 'normal' clothes just now. Will hold off on mat clothes til the new year xx

Hey everyone x

I got my booking and scan appointment today it's on the 3rd of December at 11.00 got something to focus on now and not drive myself insane x

Not too long to wait then! That's really exciting! I can't wait for mine but it feels ages away! Midwife appointment is on the 7th and I'm 7 weeks tomorrow. Feel like I'm wishing time away!

Pleased to know it's normal to feel so breathless and stuffy. I managed to do a fair bit today but I feel constantly nauseous.

I've had a lot of feeling on my right side really low down today. I wouldn't call it pain as its not hurting as such I'm just very aware of an ache of some sort there.

I feel so different this pregnancy. I'm wiped out. I've zero energy and I feel nauseous all day. If I don't eat I feel nauseous and feel faint. If I do eat it helps for about half an hour & then I feel nauseous again. Last time I was pregnant with ds3 I pretty much carried on as normal in the first trimester but I feel like I'm not coping well this time. I think it's maybe my age. I will be 35 in January. I was 32 when pregnant with ds3 plus I didn't have a toddler to run around after.

You've all made me nervous about the nuchal fold results. My results have always been fine but now I'm worried due to being pregnant at 35.

8+0

I'm 32 and I'm finding this pregnancy much harder than my first at 27. I keep wondering if it's my age or just because pregnancy is different every time.