Feb 2016 babies: Welcome to the 3rd trimester - the final stretch! (in more ways than one)

[haquoi123]

New thread! Stats in next post

You'd think he'd give you a bit of breathing space Isla, what a pain. And having to do a bridging rented property as well, all whilst pregnant. Definitely get the packers and movers in, so worth it.

My birth plan is to lie back and think of England whilst it all goes on on the other side if the curtain, and babble absolute shite again when the morphine takes over

Yes, he's a w**r - but it reminds me why he's my ex! Am definitely going to get movers in, it will come out of my share of the equity, but worth every penny. I just know he's going to get arsey if I delay the move too, but I'm 8 months pg ffs and he's done nothing towards the house sale but will still pocket 50% of the equity so it'll darn well be done on my terms!

that's a very detailed birth plan, I think my motto will be a lot like chinchilla's and will be a case of get it out!

isla you'd think the EXh would atleast let you give birth first, but that's ex's for you!!

ooooooooooh morphine, such fond memories. Love a bit of valium too

clara I'm a receiver of fanny lightning daggers (love it till) too! He's been turning in circles constantly after 8 months of happily staying in one place! Adorable muppet.

Mary lovely pic! So jealous!

isla that sucks, what an arse! but good that your in control of the move at the least. I love movers - I refused to DIY it last time (I was supposed to be 6 months pregnant when we moved and so I bloomin well was going to make use of that part of the budget) and it was so easy! DH couldn't handle just watching though and insisted on carrying loads of stuff.

I've done a birth plan I'm happy to share, (Hypnobirthing based) just pm me. I had a look at the NHS one and didn't like it at all, not for me (but managing ptsd based around ds' birth so I'm being particular!)

chinchilla, I respond really badly to gas and air - a trip to A&E had DH humiliated about being associated with a lunatic, so I'd hate to think what I'll be like on morphine :s

just had a look at that bump birth plan calypso, it looks pretty useful.
This is the basics of mine (I've got an introduction paragraph with a welcome, setting out my PTSD triggers and what happened with DS, plus clip art! Went a bit overboard!) Mine might seem a little extreme in the hands off, but it's what I know I'll be comfortable with and I can also ask for more if needs be.

• A warm, quiet and dark atmosphere
• Birthing pool for second stage of labour and birth
• Please direct any communication to DH and Doula out of Haquoi's hearing
• No clocks, reference to time, or progression of labour in H's presence
• H is aware that pain relief is available. Please don’t offer it to her.
• H does not consent to any routine vaginal examinations. Please feel free to use other markers, such as the purple line, fundal height, sounds, etc.
• H gives a blanket consent to monitor baby’s heart beat whenever is necessary throughout the labour with a handheld monitor. Please turn the volume down, especially when in the pool.
• Natural breaking of waters only
• H will breathe the baby out; please enable Ella to listen to her body without coaching, the use of ‘good girl’ or the encouraging of pushing against her body’s urge.
• DH would like the option of “catching” the baby.
• Natural/physiological third stage of labour, no injection please.
• We will delay clamping the cord until the placenta has been birthed, and/or the cord stops pulsating.
• Immediate skin-to-skin contact after birth.
• Please respect the hour after birth to enable H, DH and baby to bond quietly and uninterrupted (the “Golden Hour”). You are welcome to do any urgent checks on the baby while he is on H's chest, and then non-urgent checks after the golden hour.
• Vitamin K (oral or decline, as of yet undecided. No injection)

In the case of special circumstances and/or hospital transfer

• Please discuss any concerns initially with DH and Doula, and not in H's presence. They will take the risks of both acting and waiting into consideration and have H and the baby’s best interests at heart.
• Informed consent is to be sought for all procedures not mentioned above, initially via DH and Doula.
• H and baby are not to be separated.
• In the case of hospital transfer and/or overnight stay, DH (or Doula, or family member) to stay by H's side after baby is born, regardless of visiting hours.

haq I think you might have your name in there just fyi

My birthing plan is;
No forceps
No episiotomy unless absolutely necessary

I dont recall anyone looking at my last one!

Haha, thanks maisie! So much for trying to change all of them. Oh well :)

whoknew fair dues! no one is coming near me without reading mine first.

maryellen very cute pic

I've had to walk away from the builder, I was about to punch him. He has moved my carpet delivery without asking because it doesn't suit him. There is still no water in the house, not a single bathroom or kitchen sink has its drainage fitted. Half the heating doesn't work and he is going on about all the good will gestures he has done for me and how grateful I should be! I move in a week tomorrow.

I am also getting removal men but you still have to do a lot yourself. They don't unpack anything at the other end, just leave you with a million boxes.

Mine is:

No forceps or ventouse. Any issues, c section. (Consultant already agreed, thats been the plan for my last 2 labours after PTSD with my first)

"I will be active, or in the pool, iPod Hypnobirthing on, feel free to monitor at any point, other than that, leave me alone to get on with it."

I was constantly monitored in last two labours so pool was out but they did just leave me to it !!! I barely noticed them to be honest.

This is mine:

Pain Relief
• I want to use the birth pool for pain relief and to deliver the baby in.
• I would like to avoid any pain relieving injections and just rely on the water and gas and air for pain relief, but I do accept that I might get to a point where I need them.
• I do not want an epidural.

During Labour
• I want to be as mobile as possible during the first stage of labour.
• I would like to be in an upright, forward facing position for the second stage of labour, preferably in the birthing pool.
• I would like to labour as much as possible at home and then go to the Midwife Led Unit to give birth.
• I’d like to bring my own birth ball with me to use during labour.

Birth Partner
• I would like my birth partners to be Mr Jelly Jelly's Grandmother.
• I would like both of them to be with me for the whole of my labour and after the baby is born.
• If I need to go to theatre, I would like Mr Jelly to come with me.

Intervention
• I would like minimal intervention during my labour if possible although if medical advice is to use ventouse/forceps I am fine for these to be used to help baby out.
• If necessary I am fine for my labour to be sped up medically.
• I would like my midwife to tell me if I am at risk of tearing and if an episiotomy would be beneficial to me.

After the birth
• I would like skin to skin contact with the baby directly after she is born.
• I would like delayed cord clamping for as long as possible, but at least 5 minutes.
• I would like Mr Jelly to cut the cord.
• I’d like a managed third stage of labour if possible with delayed cord clamping, but if not I am happy with a physiological third stage.
• I am intending to exclusively breast feed the baby.
• I am happy for the baby to have the vitamin K injection after birth.

Miscellaneous
• I am happy for student/trainee midwives and doctors to be present during my birth.

Think i've covered most things in there, going to run through with my MW at my 34 week app

They said I would have access to the birthing pool last time but when I went in I was put in a small room instead. No idea why. Just be prepared for them to disregard most of what you put in the birthing plan particularly if the baby shows any signs of distress. Also women become very compliant during about so if something is very very important to you make sure your birthing partner fights your corner over it as you will probably say yes to anything.

*very compliant during labour

Think i'll do a cheeky copy and paste, cheers haquoi123 :)

I took my mum to my 28 week app yesterday (DH just started a new job so couldn't attend) to reassure her about home birth...and I came out a bit deflated as I wanted her to really be on side - I'm sure she's just worried and hopefully time will help her get used to the idea...if we can have one when the time comes of course. Keeping an open mind!

I plan to have a home birth but other than that my birth plan is just to get her out, being too focused on a 'plan' would make it more stressful for me and a lot of it is a situation that can't be controlled, plus like others have said I'm fairly confident no one read mine last time.

We're definitely on the final leg now, starting to feel very exciting!

Look at all of you being organised with your birth plans! I feel so crap as I feel I know nothing even though this is no2.

posey I am sure your mom will come around, lots of people think home births are not safe and I had a lot of people telling me I shouldn't have had one for my dd but they all realised it was for the best in the end.

I've not written a birth plan. My mw hasn't even mentioned it - wonder if that's because I'm having an elective section? I supposed it's all fairly prescriptive in those. Tbh tho in my birth plan for DS all those years ago, the only thing I had down was no pethidine. I do think having a rigid birth plan could contribute to post natal depression if it can't be adhered to. It's worth bearing in mind that births don't always go to plan - something that a lot of us on here know through bitter experience.

Haquoi that's an amazing birth plan, you've really given it thought.

Havent done mine but is basically leave me alone unless I ask for you.
Would prefer no drugs (had the other two with just tens and paracetamol) but keeping an open mind
Would like waters broken if I get to 10cm without them going naturally (possibly earlier) I had one labour which started with waters breaking and one where they didn't. The pressure of the waters in the second was awful, I'd much rather labour without them.
I am shit at pushing effectively so might need help.
Give me my baby straight away.

I might write something slightly better than that!

My birth plan has something at the beginning which states that even if something isn't possible i want to stick to as much of it as I can. I believe in planning - this is my birth and no one else's and so I feel that my decisions and desires should and will matter and not just be overridden or ignored like last time. I've surrounded myself with birth partners who know by history and what I want and who can advocate strongly for me. This is the right decision for me and it helps me feel in control and empowered and positive about my birth when I could so easily submit to the fear of it all going horribly wrong. The midwives will read my preferences because they are not welcome at my birth without understanding my wishes and desires. And if I need to rethink or transfer during, then that will happen and I'll continue with my hypnobirthing in order to aid my baby as best I can.

Like I said, this is what's best for me, not necessarily others.

X post, thanks troika!

Haquoi my post wasn't directed at you. The complete opposite in fact. You more than anyone on this board knows how things can go terribly wrong. Please don't take offence as none was meant. It was just a friendly reminder to the first timers to be aware that having a rigid idea in your mind of how your birth should be is not ideal. Clumsy, but meant in the best way. Sorry if it came across differently

Thanks clumsypots, that's good to know - and I hope you're right. To be honest though I was the same when I first got pregnant about being 'no way' to home birth - however the more research and opinions I get the more positive I feel about it...that can only be a good thing :)

Can someone please tell me: cotbed mattress for baby...... foam (not memory) or springs?

I'm exhausted from research and too many decisions to be made, so if someone could just tell me what to do, that would be great, thanks in advance.

sleeps on desk

Thanks isla, no hard feelings xx