Feb 2016 babies: Welcome to the 3rd trimester - the final stretch! (in more ways than one)

[haquoi123]

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northern No there is no one else who can step in. Everyone else will be very much on one side or the other, all my mum's friends would just back her up and in fact tend to wind her up more. It is her arsehole of a boyfriend who has been stirring the pot today it would seem and he had wound her up before she even got here. She has now announced she isn't coming for Christmas and will never step foot in my house again and if I want to see her I have to got to her.

I am having the shittest day ever, can't stop crying and the boiler has just been condemned and I now have to find the money to replace that. I actually can't believe she is being so horrible to me, she thinks that she is teaching DH a lesson but she is just punishing me because he won't change. I'm seriously in the shit!

rufus I'm sorry you're having this today

I find it hard to practice what I preach but here goes. Your mum is your mum and she always will be. I have a, er, highly strung mum and she takes managing. Maybe yours is a bit similar.

BUT. You and your DH are a family now, and your baby is about to join you. You're a unit. You're the mum now. Your focus will be on your own little nuclear family and your mum will have to accept that.

I hope you're feeling better later. Take care of yourself tonight.

Does she have form for being a drama queen rufus? That's a real kid's response over Xmas, and to do all of this when you're pregnant and so busy is reprehensible.
I also hope your OH will step up and take notice the effect it's had on you and act appropriately..?

rufus you poor thing - that sounds highly stressful & not what you need at all. Sending and hope they snap out of it!

Update they are both refusing to apologise to each other and both have said really nasty stuff about the other, unfortunately some of it is true. My mum is interfering (and a drama queen) and DH is lazy! I've told DH he is going to have to help me but whether he actually does is another matter. He left me alone till 7pm tonight and when he called to say he was staying out later and was I alright I could hear the sigh when I said no could he please come home. Baby did not like me crying, he kicked like mad, so that was most of the afternoon.

Sorry I have been away so long it's lovely to hear all the nursery decoration news, really need to get my act together and start getting things organised!

rufus that sounds awful

I thought I was having a bad bout of sciatica last week so went to the gp to see if they could do anything and got a referral to physio, it seems to be getting worse as it is now more in my hips on both sides and I get numb legs if I sit upright for too long I also get shooting pains across my back and into my legs. Does anyone know what this could be and how I could ease the pain, I can't sit,stand or lie comfortably?

clumsy were you around when my back was really bad? In the end (after 4 weeks of not being able to move) I went to an osteopath and he sorted me. About 2-3 days after seeing him I was 90% better and I improved a bit more afterwards.

He manipulated my spine, he just popped it twice. He told me that it was to give the compressed nerve some room and that would help. Whatever it was, it worked! It was a last resort thing for me as normally I place my trust in the medical profession but I had been to physio and had done my exercises religiously and I continued to deteriorate.

I also started getting a bit depressed as even the day to day stuff was impossible. Even just lifting DS out of his cot was unbearably painful.

Anyway I can't recommend the osteopath enough.

maisie thanks for replying I vaguely remember you saying about the osteopath, I normally see a chiropractor but the midwife said I shouldn't go while pregnant but I don't have much faith in the physio referral coming through quick enough. Were your midwives happy with you seeing the osteopath?

clumsy that's sounds really awful. I also go to the osteopath and they're trained to work with pregnant women, just let them know when you book. I see a cranial osteopath and get a mixture of acupuncture, massage, cranial and manipulation. But they'll tailor every session to you. I've also heard of a number of people who see a chiropractor when pregnant and I'm fairly certain it's safe, so I don't know why your midwife told you that...

clumsy yes- in fact my midwife had her own osteopath recommendation (someone she had brought her own DD to as a newborn for cranial osteopathy), but I went to an osteopath that DH had been to years ago.

He spoke to me about how his techniques would not impact in any way on the uterus, baby etc and put me at ease.

northern most of my kicks are very low, knicker line, groin/fanny area! Haven't had any high up/ribs.

Guess this means baby isn't head down yet :-/

Thanks, I will have a look into local osteopaths today and see if I can get myself booked in. My chiropractor usually does acupuncture on me so I know that helps. haquoi I used my chiropractor when I was pregnant 9 years ago with the same midwife and she had no issues with it then but I thought the guidance may have changed.

Most of my kicks are mid abdominal region, sort of under ribs and to the side but no rib pain yet. I had a scan last Thurs and didn't think to ask if he was head down and the sonographer didn't say. I was so focused on the heartbeat and size everything else fell out my head.

Got up at 3am for a wee and that was me awake for the entire rest of the night. Started coughing and then felt nauseous all night and couldn't sleep.

95% of my kicks are above my belly button and under my ribs. So he must be head down again.

My mum must have told one of her friends yesterday and been told off because she called me this morning and took back most of what she had said to me including that she never wanted my baby in her house. She still hates DH and never wants to see him again and isn't coming for Christmas. DH still thinks my mum is behaving like a toddler and thinks he has done not a single thing wrong and that he is the victim. He has buggered off to London instead of helping me today so no change there. When he is at work for the rest of the week my mum is going to come and help me with the house. I will just have to split my time into shifts and keep them apart. Christmas at mine is cancelled and has been moved to DH's family's instead as I just can't cope with it.

I've just checked my council's website in the refuse section and found that if you use reusable nappies you can get £50 from them towards buying them and if you use disposable then you can pay 25p each for a special bin liner that means they will collect it as an extra alongside the very stingy small bin that they only collect every other week.

Oh rufus that sounds so tough. They both need to be putting you first not their own needs/arguments.
We have no nursery here. We need a chimney breast out first but no sign of builder yet. Am pretty sure babies will be here before its done:-(
Still not done hospital bag either. Had 28 week midwife appt today. Am measuring 31 which is about right for twins. Am pretty sure she has no idea what to do with me tho. She began to suggest that I didn't bother seeing her at all until she saw my face!!!!

I am SO TIRED < yawn face

I haven't been tired like this since the first trimester. It's not just physical exhaustion, there's something wrong with me!

32 weeks tomorrow.

rufus.

On a lighter note, I had the whooping cough vaccine this morning and where I am, it comes combined with the diptheria, polio and tetanus booster, so I now have a dead arm! D'oh!

Oooh I didn't know we had twins on the thread, how exciting!!!

Had midwife appnt today. Was very quick, heart beat fine, blood pressure fine. I have to ring the community midwife number to ask about a labour ward tour and any breast feeding clinics at the hospital. I'm starting to realise just how amazing the midwife treatment I had with my first pregnancy was in another county. I felt so cared for. This time it's a five min appnt with no info at all really, weird.

I'm just feeling exceptionally lucky I feel well.

I was told at my last appointment that the baby was in the 'hammock' position so will ask on Thurs where the MW thinks she is.

Glad your Mum has calmed down a bit rufus, but God alone knows how you cope with those two hating each other, even at the best of times. I've seen from ILs how difficult that can be.

And like you and maisie I'm shattered, six hour journey back from little holiday break followed by weekly shop yesterday and two nights of waking at half four owing to cold. Having to schlep halfway across the county to pick DS up tonight as DP has been called out. Oh, the joys....

Has anyone else been given no info at all about birthing options or even had any conversation at all with the midwife with regard to birth plan? I can't work out whether I have the worst midwife care in history so far or because I'm consultant led they think the consultant will decide what happens.

clarabelski turns out the NHS supplies quad vaccine but midwives lazily refer to it as whooping cough. I'd only recently had a tetanus so was a bit peed off having another. Did no harm of course though the practice nurse managed to bruise my arm in a way I have never seen with an I'm injection.

rufus that sounds terrible. I don't think my oh is pulling his weight either hough burrently getting through last few weeks at work and will see what he achieves - telling him health visitor coming round in January has sped him up slightly.

I miss my mum and he misses his - but remembering the both (fondly and honestly) a little glad they are not around to tag team emotionally blackmail us. Sounds horrible putting that down but both were very skilled at it and life is easier without trying to keep other people happy.

On that note 3 weeks to mat leave. I am really rather looking forward to it

Just joining to say how tired I am too! Regularly seeing 3am onwards, I guess it's good prep for when the baby comes! Could do without it though! I just want a good nights sleep!

No conversation about birth plan here and rarely seeing midwife, but I'm on my second and I think they kind of leave you to it. I'm also having a home birth so that may affect things.

Im starting to think you're right that they leave you to it after your first. Seems fucked up to me as every pregnancy is different, every birth is different, plus it might be pretty important that your first birthing experience is not replicated!!!

I feel so on my own and I hate it