March 2016 #4 - entering the second trimester at last and (hopefully) waving goodbye to sickness

[marmitemofo]

started a new thread as the old one was getting full up. Thought I would post the link to stats here too so people can update if they want!

docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CWO_z74sygCKB3cdMb7jXf2VP1TwJB8KCTF-M5XbTyY/edit#gid=0

I'm lucky in my maternity pay too. Currently trying to figure out when to take holiday - I can carry five of this year's days over to next year so will try not to use any more, then I plan to finish at the end of February, two weeks before my due date, which because of weekends will only use a few days, so I should have about 45 days when I come back. Obviously I won't want to use all that at once if I'm starting back in January or February, but I'm tentatively thinking of officially starting in December (and going to all the Christmas parties etc!) but actually coming back in the new year when the baby is ten months old. I took 13 months last time but we had more savings and we're much better off - this time I'm on a much lower wage as I only do four days, we have £700 a month in childminder fees, and savings were cleaned out when dh was made redundant. No idea how we will live! I found money went further on mat leave though, I was spending far less than when I was working!

Great mood tonight - popped into aldi on the way home and they do a rindless goats cheese so have been sat in the garden enjoying the sunshine with a grilled goats cheese, bacon and balsamic salad for tea. All it needed was an ice cold glass of wine haha.
Suz those holidays are good too, I get 33 days a year - taking 2 weeks before maternity so going off about 14th ish feb and then the remainder will be used for December and January 2017.
Dp has also just reminded me that we overpay the mortgage by £200 a month as a standing order so we could always stop that for the time I'm off - things are looking better.
Does anyone have any recommendations for how much clothing to but for a new baby? People are saying not to get anything as people will buy stuff but I have a feeling the outfits people will buy as gifts will be dressy cute outfits and no practical every day things.

Suz that's what I'm hoping will happen with us, at the moment we spend a fortune on eating out in the evenings etc which we won't be doing when the baby is here! And I easily spend £5-£10 a day on lunch at work (often breakfast too) so I'm envisaging significant savings coming when I just make myself a sandwich at home instead!

Q - I would say for a newborn in newborn size
2 hats
2 scratch mits
A hooded mid weight cardigan
Possibly a very light all in one coat unpadded for a March baby
8 sleep suits
6 vests- short sleeved

You're right - Gifts don't tend to be practical and very often people buy older sizes !

So many midwife appointments today! Great being able to tick off all these milestones

I'm quite jealous of you all knowing what mat leave you'll take and how much you'll get paid; I co-own a business so haven't yet worked out how much is fair to take (I get mostly paid in dividends) nor how long I can be off. There is so much that I do that my colleague literally doesn't have a clue about, and the thought of explaining it all to a temp and leaving them confidently able to run things without me on the end of the phone/email is worrying me already! I do not want to be checking emails at all for at least the first 3 months and hope to have a clear 6 months off before perhaps starting to do a couple of days' worth of work a week from home. But really not sure how much of a business I'll come back to after that time, as my colleague himself is looking to retire in October so won't exactly be pushing the boat out on making sure there's enough workflow. Agh.

Me I'd love to see your list too! Another first timer here who's just started the list. DH also not keen on second hand anything. I have three things in my 'like this version' column of my list so far and it's already over £1k

Me624

I do the same . I spend far too much in our cafe at work which is mad - not only do I live a three minute walk from work but I buy stuff every week for DH's lunch I just am too lazy to sort myself out.

My maternity pay scheme is better than standard (very lucky) and because of how our leave year falls I will be off for just under 14 months. I worked out that I will finish work 18 weeks on Friday. That's going to fly

I'd say sherazade has it right Q, I'd just get sleep suits and vests unless you see an irresistible outfit! And a little soft jacket and hats. I found the hardest thing getting the sizes right, as all the shops seem to size differently (like with adult clothes) and you never know until you've had the baby what will fit! I bought lots from mothercare which come up quite big, he was weeny, we only had two (fancy gifts from jojo mama) which fit. My mum came to the hospital via asda where she'd bought a few packs of babygros!

I don't need to buy too much this time, the big things on my list are:

• bedside crib, had a Moses basket last time but knowing my luck I'll get a big one and it won't fit in for as long as I'd like to keep it in my room
• buggy board, ds is 3 tomorrow and we don't use the buggy any more but he does occasionally get tired on the way back from places
• woombie swaddle - they look amazing!

Thepug - we sound very similar! I Run a business in a partnership too and we split jobs pretty evenly so there's loads I do that she can't do. Glad we get maternity allowance as I didn't know that existed but literally nothing else and no holidays etc

Hoping to get 3 months off completely, start keeping an eye out up til 6 months and then work from home for a few days from 6-9 months. Then take a deep breath and probably do 4 days a week child care - Argh!!!! I'm sure it will work out though!

I've done my list too and considering we won't get any hand me downs the total was around £1500 which I thought was fair. Supermarket clothes are so cute and cheap for babies so that should help, plus the January sales!!!!

Ok here's my list! Comments from experienced mums welcome!

Travel system - approx £1000 for the one we want (icandy peach) - my parents have kindly offered to get this.
Nursery furniture (cot, mattress, chest of drawers, wardrobe) - approx £1,000 which PIL have kindly agreed to contribute to.
Feeding chair - £100
Curtains - £50
Lamp/nightlight - £20
Wall stickers - £40
Car seat - £135
Isofix base - £150
Baby bouncer - £120 for the baby bjorn but might be able to get this on offer.
Caboo sling - £50
Moses basket and stand - £50
Baby bath - £20
Baby towels - £15
Baby monitor - £150 for the fancy one dh wants
Grobags x 2 - £50
Changing bag - £50
Changing mat - £10
Nappies and cleaning supplies - £50 to start us off
Muslins - £10
Clothes - £50
Play mat/toys - £100
Breast pump - £30
Formula/bottles etc - £50. I'm planning to try and breastfeed but would like to have this bought in just in case!

Actually it's not as much as I thought, but still over £3k. Seems like an awful lot of money!

I'll be honest with you me , if you really want to try breastfeeding I wouldn't bother with formula and bottles but I would spend that money on nipple hydro gel pads ( around ten pound a pair but worth every penny), a decent breastfeeding cushion and the best nursing Bras you can find !

Also Swaddle blankets such as the summer Swaddle me or the gro swaddles ( love both ) rather than a gro bag for a newborn or a woodbie - suz am getting one !

A woombie sorry - my phone won't let me type it !

I had the gro swaddles for ds, but either I was bad at wrapping them or he was amazing at getting out as he never stayed swaddled. Would like something this time that fixes closed, I saw some ages ago which had a little bit of Velcro but can't remember what they are!

Ooh, a giant muslin is also on my list! Think it will come in handy.

I think your list looks good me and I'm very jealous of anyone with room for a chair, I'd have loved one! One thing - won't the travel system have car seat included for that price? Mine wasn't an icandy but they were comparable and had the car seat as part of the deal.

Looking at your list me I can see how its all added up and its reminding me of things we'd bought but forgotten about! but I think you could probably get stuff cheaper by shopping around. If you can be arsed that is. Me and DP are quite stingy so we spend a lot of time bargain hunting online anf managed to get stuff cheap that way. We got a rocking/feeding chair second hand off ebay for cheap and a sling second hand but I guess if your DH doesnt like second hand you're a bit limited on that front.

£1000 on nursery furniture though? Sounds like a lot! We were lucky and when we moved the previous owner left a child's wardrobe randomly which we used, and for a chest of drawers we actually just used our own existing furniture and moved stuff around, but tbh DDs room doesn't look like a 'nursery' as such, more a normal room with a cot and books/toys in, which is probably why. I remember going round my NCT friends houses and marveling at how much effort they'd put in to decorate their DCs nurseries. Me and DP just don't have it in us to do that, god I'm realizing how lazy we are.

So if you're not keen on anything second hand at all, I think you could probably shave off quite a bit by just shopping around tbh. But again its effort so depends on if you can be arsed!

I agree with sherezade re formula. I wouldn't bother unless you know you'll need it. Also to be completely honest breastfeeding is fucking hard to begin with unless you're very lucky, and I think having formula there means you're more likely to give up when you may have carried on and enjoyed it. But if you're actually not that bothered about bf then that doesn't really matter I guess. But just remember you can always buy formula etc at short notice if needed!

Do you mind me asking what monitor you're getting ? £150 sounds really expensive. We got the angel care movement and sound monitor which I remember thinking was pricey on sale at £50!

Hello!
Nice to hear about appointments and people's spending plans.

I've been saying at work I'll probably finish around mid-March. Just worked out that's about a week (or less) before EDD. But the last week is off timetable, so I might be able to swing something cushy and work an extra week. Then I really want to go back about mid July when we start the new timetable. Though, I'll play that one by ear. I've already planned to use KIT days for a few particular things too. All told, I'll be taking less than 4.5 months off, going back just as pay drops to SMP. (I say 'going back', I'll officially return to work but it'll be the holidays, so will go back to full pay for August - we can't do the holiday pay thing so that's close enough!). Also realised that DH will be on Easter hols almost as this one arrives, and will be able to take his paternity leave after, so we'll have 4 weeks at home together (though DS will be off for Easter, then back to school. Mixed feelings about both!)

Not a lot to buy here either. Pretty much the same as Suz: woombie, bedside crib, and I want a stretchy wrap. As for clothes, I'm planning on doing vest & sleepsuits (hand-me-down or supermarket) till this one is over a year! (Second child laziness?!)

Got all our size 1 cloth nappies back from a friend this weekend too. Pretty sorted, I think. What a nice feeling that is!

I agree with sher about bottles & BFing. Though we did need some as I went back to work before 6 months last time (and will again). though DS refused bottles and the CM had to cup feed him till he gave in

Oh yeah, we need to get DS a new bed and will need a wardrobe for his room. But like marmite says, these will be cheap! Our 'feeding chair' was an IKEA Poang (which will come out again). Worked well with a cushion. Nice bit of bounce! (Though it's not as nice as a gliding feeding chair & foot stool, it served a purpose perfectly adequately).

And we need a monitor. Our old BT one died. Unless we just don't bother with that either.

Can I recommend the Swaddle pod? It's only £9.99 and zips up, so the baby can't break open it open like velcro. I loved it last time, will definitely re use.

Wow Me that's a big budget! But why not, if finances allow? I've never had a feeding chair though; baby is in with you until about 6 months when they don't need night feeds anyway. And yes to trying breastfeeding before purchasing bottle paraphernalia!

I think clothes will cost more than £50 but toys less than £100; it takes a few months for babies to really be interested in toys. And then all they want to grab is your phone/necklace anyway

I think I'm going to get a triple high (!) bunkbed for the girls... but won't need it until around September 2018 so I'm saving £10 a month from now to be able to buy one of those...

Indomitable my baby will be living in sleepsuits too. She's the last one, so want to keep her as baby as possible for as long as I can!

I've got all of Willow's old sleepsuits out though and I'm panicking that I must have shrunk them all in the tumble dryer - surely no human can fit in something so small?!

Thanks ladies, all really helpful tips. Especially good point about not buying formula stuff as I can definitely see myself giving up in the middle of a hard night if it's there - whereas if I do need it, it can easily be bought at the supermarket.

The furniture is a bit extravagant I agree - we could do it a lot cheaper but DH wants to buy nice things that will last.

the monitor is a Motorola one I think?

Oh Beautiful I so love the name Willow! I might steal that!

Second and last one here too. My friend did it with her first (and only) and it seemed so much easier (and more comfortable?) than proper outfits.

Erm: "baby is in with you until about 6 months when they don't need night feeds anyway" Nobody told DS this! I must've been doing night feeds till well over a year old (we tried night weaning, but it was always way more lengthy and traumatic to try to settle without and so quick to feed him to sleep. It was easier to just go with it, especially with work in the morning!)

Well i know babies don't read manuals but in theory they don't need milk in the night after 6 months! I was mean with mine and the first time they slept through I didn't feed them in the night again (post 6 months). I expect this one will have us wrapped around her little finger!

I'd be flattered if you used Willow! Oh I used to love watching Buffy

Wow me I guess when it's all written down it really adds up. Thinking myself lucky now, with being given a cot bed and travel system (which includes car seat) from in laws, isofix base for £40 off a friend, was given moses basket last week juSt need to get a stand. Baby isn't going to hAve a wardrobe here, just a large chest of drawers which we already have in the spare room - white so will match cot bed. I am getting nursing chair as will wander into there for night feeds if I can't settle as dp doesn't sleep well as it is. I really think we are going to be under the 1k mark. Love a bargain.

Mine wouldn't have stood for it either Indomitable, his sleep got worse around that time and fed pretty constantly!

I think I've suppressed most of it, Suz or I'd never have found myself in this thread!