Trying to make our fannies wider, Epi-no,no,no! All the pregnancy glamour of difficult shags, dribbly naps and pissy pants. JSers - encouraging food envy for 33 freds.

[DulcetMoans]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 32nd grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The thread we have graduated from is here in its 50th outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread here for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

Here is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates.

X post la obv you've been storing to many things in your bum hence broken bed- apologies laughed my arse off at your expense

La, that happened to my friend too, WHILST she was in labour. Nightmare. Luckily another friend was able to patch it together again whilst she was pushing in hospital, so it was all fixed when she got home.

Oh no La! Are you OK? If only you'd still had that pom pom up your arse to cushion the fall....

la sorry shouldn't laugh

STEP AWAY FROM THE MAGNUMS

Jelly it really sounds like you're very poorly, you need to stay off and get well. That's lovely that your gps looked after you today, I used to love going home when sick to mums.

I had an early scan both times. This time it was a great relief to see the hb at 7 weeks. There are private clinics that do them or your GP might have a sonographer.

Looking - peek a boo baby!

Honestly I just sat and laughed! Dh moved the bed yesterday and must've forgotten to move the support. Fat arse I am!!

What's all this pulling Pom-poms out of private parts going on?! I'm de-lurking briefly to say Go Dulcet. & Go La!! Get them babies out! Xxx

OMG Dulcet, I couldn't possibly be more excited. Good luck good luck, been a long time coming. Can't wait to hear your news!!

Waking up to cheer on dulcet. Good luck!!

Thanks everyone, I'll take your safe advice and sleep tomorrow too. I agree it's better for my colleafues to not endure me like this, and the idea of the commute makes me want to cry.

Now to sleep of the rest of my man-flu. When I wake up I expect a baby from dulcet and la

la hope you didn't hurt yourself because that's tooooo funny!

You lot have just made me piss my leggins laughing!
Goooooooooo dulcet yaaaaaay!!!!!!

Puuuuuuuush dulcet puuuuuuuush! You can do it gal!

ROTATE TO DILATE DULCET!!!

Me, tiny tee and the cats are cheering you on from the all night milk bar dulce ~waves bunting~ hope you're doing okay and I can't wait to hear news! Xx

Goooooo Dulcet!! Baby by the morning, I will be checking for an update during my 3.30am wee wake up call.

And as our yoga mantra goes: "breathe, open, release" and repeat.

Rotate to dilate! Rotate to dilate!

Go dulcet! Hope all goes quickly and smoothly
And many, many congratulations, fleur -sounds incredibly efficient baby processing!

la - curious now. Rotate what??

Nipple tassles, maybe?

Deeply - it's a mantra from Daisy birthing! You rotate your hips and it's meant to help cervix dilate and baby move down!

There's a thread about penises in shoes here

Thought you guys might appreciate it

Ooh this is all so exciting!!

What is with being really tired but not being able to sleep? Tis cruel! I can normally nap anywhere, anytime. Not being able to sleep is ANNOYING. (To be fair though, at lest my bed is not broken!) Did realise when I got undressed tonight that I had been wearing my knickers inside out all day. Classy bird.

So, here's my birth story:

Tuesday evening: changed bedding, joked with DH about los of waters going on nice clean bedding
Wednesday: 4am - got up for a wee (like usual), back to bed. 4.30am weird wetting myself sensation, couldn't stop the flow. Leaked fluid for next half hour, put pad on and went back to bed. Started to get mild period type pains so thought it best to phone hospital. They said if waters had gone I needed to go in.
6am at hospital, they confirmed it was waters and they booked me for an induction for 24hrs. This was my worst fear - I really didn't want to be induced!
7am back at home, as soon as I got back home contractions started, about 10 min apart and lasting 30 seconds. They were uncomfortable but i was coping by bouncing on my ball and using my hypnobirthing techniques. I sent DH into work thinking that it being my first baby it would be ages.
Contractions very quickly increased, to the point where I was having trouble concentrating and couldn't walk to the kitchen to get myself paracetamol or hot waterbottle. I called DH home from work. Contractions now 2-3 min apart and lasting about 1 min. I phoned hospital and they said to come in.
1pm at hospital. I was having trouble walking and concentrating. Midwives took ages getting round to seeing me, I threw up everywhere because of the pain. When they finally examined me they found I was 4cm already and sent me straight to the delivery suite!
2pm got in the birthing pool and started on the gas and air. It's all a bit of a blur from then (g&a is good stuff!). I was expecting to have to get out of the pool to do the actual birth bit but it happened quite quickly. The midwives were saying I should get out so they could see how dilated I was but I was needing to push so they left me to it! There was a fair amount of pooing (which apparently I kept apologising for), and baby finally emerged at 7.20pm. Amazingly no tearing, but had 3 stitches for internal lacerations (which judging by the reaction of anyone who subsequently read my medical notes is amazingly lucky to only get that!) I was pushing for quite some time once midwives could see the head, I remember thinking I must have been doing it wrong because it usually happened so much faster on One Born!

It was the worst pain in my entire life, and I really wanted an epidural but I was too off my head on g&a to ask for it! But it really is all worth it to have my gorgeous little boy!

I hadn't written a birth plan as I was open to anything and didn't want to be disappointed if I didn't get my ideal birth. But I pretty much did, waterbirth with limited drugs was just what I wanted
Everyone who I have told my birth story to has said how nice it is to hear of a positive birth, and it's true, I don't remember hearing about any good births only the bad ones. I am so grateful for such a good experience. In fact I would say that giving birth was the easy bit compared with trying to breastfeed!

Sorry for the essay!

Dulcet hope things are happening for you

Rm that's a lovely birth story and so good to hear a positive one
Hope the feeding is getting easier

La, sorry lovie but nearly peed my pants at you breaking the bed hope you've got it fixed now. Might be an idea to invoke LoS by putting fresh sheets on

Jelly I'm glad you're being looked after and hope you feel better soon.

Push! Puuuuush!

Reports from the field please viroids! Are there babies??!

rm lovely birth story! It's good to hear you got what you hoped for, g&a is nice :)