Jan 2016 #4 - heading for the end of the 1st trimester with dating scans and wacky dreams

[OTheHugeManatee]

New thread! Previous one here.

• I was asked a lot if...

Whoops

The was it planned question doesn't bother me cos I look at it in a different way. If it was planned it was definietly something u wanted. If not u could be shocked and happy or shocked and sad. This gives someone an idea how to react or help u. It's just that they phase it wrongly.
Can't remember who posted the fitness question? But as a fitness instructor I would not advice the plank as it puts a lot of pressure on your internal organs and lower back. Also no curl ups from the 2nd trimester as this will ruin your abs in the long run. Xxx

The "was it planned" question is so rude/weird! It's basically the same as asking "do you know how to use contraception correctly" which at 20 or 30 something, what idiot doesn't?! My sister asked as she was so shocked, and I'm sure I'll get some more when I go public, as I'll be viewed as really young to have a baby in my circles (I'm 27!)! I've also found it out that people expect you to tell them when you're trying, DH's bro apparently told his mum that him and his wife were trying so when we told them I was pregnant, they were genuinely shocked because they "didn't know we were trying"! For us, it's really personal and I only told my closest friend that we were THINKING about trying!

It's 12 week scan eve, tomorrow is the day! I'm so nervous

Well I've been trying to keep up with you ladies but it's tricky! So I have my scan on Friday and I keep swinging between terrified and excitement! Symptoms seem to have mainly disappeared which is great on one hand and scary in the same breath. I also have a little bump but we have told quite a few people I just can't wait to get it out in the open after this scan! Wishing everyone luck who has scans coming up!

Agree with all of the comments regarding intrusive questioning of planned pregnancy. I told a really good work friend on Tuesday evening in utter confidence as I'm not announcing until after my scan. When I uttered the sentence "i'm pregnant, and it's twins", her immediate reflex response was "was it ivf?". I don't think she meant anything by it it, but it stung, possibly because although this wasn't ivf, it wasn't far from it.

I probably have to get used to that reaction, I'm not ashamed of my infertility journey, it was the hardest thing I've ever been through, and I think it's a shame that so many women suffer in silence because it's a bit taboo, but it is very intrusive.

Good luck to everyone with scans today!

Good luck to everyone who has scans today. I am feeling loads more human today as I managed a decent sleep by taking up most of our bed

I will check back later, when I am bored at work have some more time

Ah Kep glad you're feeling rested.

As if my prayers were answered (ie worried about lack of symptoms) I woke up in the night with horrendous foot cramp that didn't go away for half an hour. Oh the joy.

Good luck with scans today!!! I managed to iron and pack the majority if my holiday clothes last night yaaay that felt v productive. 3 more days in work I need some strength to help me power through!!!
Hope everyone is feeling ok today my ms dies seem to be gradually easing each day

ready one of my friends told me she was expecting twins and I have to admit I did ask whether it had "just happened" - but in this context I know they were at the ivf stage with their first DC (didnt actually need ivf in the end but it was on the table). I hope it didn't offend her! Was none of my business really.

The "was it planned" question we got a lot with DD1 (we were also relatively young at the time in our circles). I actually didn't know what to say. It wasn't planned at such but wasn't a complete accident, as in, we knew how to use contraception and just didn't! I think people don't realise what a tricky, personal question it can be.

Anyway!

Good advice frozenfairy ... When I did pregnancy yoga they were quite careful about what exercises/movements you could do at what stages. i really need to look up classes again. Was so fit when I had DD1. Now my pelvis is already giving me grief if I do too much

lil so happy for you!!!!!! And fish so glad you had a good scan too.

Only two days until mine now. Still havent heard back about the harmony blood test results. Called my ob and left a message yesterday and still nothing. Will be calling again tomorrow. Bit worried to be honest but trying not to be.

b&w - for foot/leg cramps, get a calcium + magnesium supplement.

frozenfairy the only exercise I currently do is plank as I had to stop curl ups shortly before I found out I was pregnant as I got dizzy and it hasn't really gone away, not enough to do any exercise that rotates my head much at least. May I ask what ab exercises it is safe to do?

I just wish my mouth would stop tasting like I've licked a camel's armpit.

Hurrah I've got a date for my 12 week scan.

I finally got through to a human being after many, many attempts. I'm glad I did too, as they had my dating scan and nuchal screening test booked for when I'd be 13+4. I pointed out, what if my dates are even slightly out (which they could feasibly be - I only had two periods before I fell pregnant and they were both different lengths) and I can't get the nuchal test? I suppose so, the lady says. So thankfully she brought it forward a week and I'll be 12+4 which I'm much happier about.

Seriously though, why does it take a lay-person to point this very feasible issue out?

At least my 16 week midwife app is already booked, so I should be relatively stress-free until 20 weeks. Perhaps they will have remembered who I am by then?

Morning all! Happy to report that, after a full night's sleep, I feel like a new woman.

Interesting convo re the 'was your baby planned?' question. I never even considered that I might be asked this… At 35, been with my other half for years, live together, would people really feel the need to ask this? I definitely need to think about how I'm going to answer before it happens... My close, close handful of friends know I had an mmc in Dec and was heartbroken, so know we tried again and that I'm pregnant so they would never ask this question. If it's someone I'm not close to and they are just being nosey or bitchy, I would be inclined to say something just as inappropriate back to them. I’ve never been one to mince my words…

Similarly, my marital status is also not up for conversation now that I’m having a baby. If me and my OH decide to get married or not get married then that is our business. It has nothing to do with bringing a very much wanted child into world and loving it. Juniper if anyone called my baby illegitimate there would be consequences ha ha… I would verbally tear strips off them. I hope you gave her hell!

Good luck to all having scans today!

Glad it's sorted Edgar! Finally! It's horrible when you feel like you've been forgotten.

Gosh! Busy!

poe so glad you got yours sorted. You'll be like me - mines when I'm 12+5! But I hope that will relieve some of the anxiety.

Lots of joking in the office today about pregnancy. I honestly don't think anyone suspects - don't really want to have to announce it but guess I will have to say something....

I feel like I will have to volunteer an explanation about planned vs non planned. This was a planned and much longed for baby, but I honestly didn't think I'd fall pregnant so fast. I only came off the coil in February... And I started a new job in mid April. Not really ideal timing...

Glad it's sorted Edgar! What a pain you having to cgase and spell these things out!

Glad you're feeling more human teenie.

Hormonal rollercoaster going on here. From being up so high after seeing bean, to completely unnecessary hormone tears after talking to a doc about getting some thrush treatment (sorry tmi) and him thinking out loud about how it didn't sound like thrush but he's more worried about some other horrid things that could be wrong and saying I needed an examination. Queue night of tossing and turning, worrying what could be wrong. Went today... Yep, thrush. For gods sake!

Urgh, I'm so sorry that your GP has put you through a night of unnecessary worry fish! Are you working today or can you go home and get some rest?

Also forgot to say, DH and I asked at scan yesterday, does seeing a strong heartbeat at this stage (10+4) improve odds of successful pregnancy. I had already read that statistically your chances improve the closer you get to 12 weeks etc. But wanted to hear it from horse's mouth so to speak. The reply word for word "well no, the risk of miscarriage right up to 12 weeks is always extremely high". What a bloody thing to say! What a way to say it right after we've just been watching our wiggly bean. Honestly. I think some folk see so many of us they lose sight a bit the individual's feelings and bed side manner!
Rant over

P.s. for anyone that might have annoyed/worried (sorry) I believe studies have found the stats do improve. And a large medical review found that:
After heartbeat is detected, risk of miscarriage is 9.4% at 6wks; 4.2% at 7wks; 1.5% at 8wks; 0.5% at 9wks and so on.
Article here: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/18310375/

I had to find it after she said that. I'm such a loser Lol.
Thanks teenie had the morning away from work so far so rested a little. I don't feel bad as away working all over the weekend to Tuesday delivery training.
Back to work now.

oh fish how insensitive bit those figures you found are very reassuring!!

Hello all! I had the "was it planned" question a lot with DS1 - no he wasn't and that made it really awkward!!!! Agree its very rude.

I had a scan on Monday, I'm only 8 weeks, all looked good which was lovely. However today I feel totally normal with no symptoms so of course and worrying like mad :(

Thanks for the stats fish, I'm in the 1.5% risk category now at 8 weeks so should be reassured but am not! Argh!

fish that's horrible and I'm sure not true! Everywhere I've found says the risk decreases once a heartbeat is found, particularly after 8 weeks. One of the websites which said this was miscarriage association.org, who I would definitely trust as reliable.

looking I know. I understand they need to be cautious and cover themselves. We were just shocked by the delivery. To be honest it was quite laughable. My DH said as we left "well she was a treat!".
To be fair, up to that point she had been really good and reassured us about the baby measuring small. It was just that.As I say, I bet they just get immune to it and forget that we're not.

fisher What a crap response and so insensitive given the situation. I also think the risk is actually not "extremely high" up to 12 weeks, as you have picked up from the stats it does go down considerably with time.

Good news on your scan fourlegs!

Happy travels to all of you going to Glasto! I last went in 2003!