Fang-tastic fannies, Baywatch Blowjobs and good old british summer (arse) rain). It's JSing Grads 30!

[teejayem]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 30th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The thread we have graduated from is here in its 48th outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread here for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

Here is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates: Stats

JC my dhs favourite phrase is 'it'll be fine' you have to love their outlook though it would be a nightmare if we were all stressing.

Mat pay destroyed my head until I sat down with hr and worked it out. Felt better then as it was better than expected. We only get smt but it's still manageable.

Rhi - so what if she's not the most popular girl in school?! Has your DM SEEN Mean Girls? ;) having a few really lovely friends is perfectly fine. I think you can take co codamol during pg but do go and speak to gp or mw to see what they suggest. I was told it was ok for my hips but I've not got bad enough to need to yet.

purple both me and my bro were 8-9lb and mum said it was fine. I'm not stressing about it as obviously it could totally be different. Got another mw appointment on Thursday.

Totally counting down now to mat leave. 5 more days and my replacement starts Monday so I'll need to hand over this week.busy!

What do people do on maternity leave before baby comes?

Pud - shag, shag!!!

Purple sorry about rain falling from arse! Mine has settled into nothing for 3 days then huge poonami!

Yeah mine says that a lot too La But he means well! Gonna go through the workings out for mat leave with him today to see if he can understand where I'm coming from, and to see if we can mange without me doing nights.

That's not helpful of her Rhi as La said a few good friends is fine!

Rhi that's an awful thing for your mum to say. Your dd is still teeny - most kids at nursery don't have loads of friends if you really sit and watch them. I hate the whole making friends with mummies thing and we also think MiniWil has ASD so she's unlikely to do much friend-making by herself so we're avoiding parties for now!

La you should rest on mat leave before baby comes! For pfb I spent time washing baby clothes and getting things ready. For number two I spent time chasing after toddler and trying to sit down where possible. I think mat leave before your first comes is a really nice time that you will never get in your life again. Have lie ins, potter about and enjoy some you time.

Just to check - are we meant to wash all new baby clothes before use? I thought yes but want to double check before I start!

Not at all La. I mean, you totally can do - I did for first. But now I find it hilarious that I did. Although tbh it was summer and I dried them all in the garden and I suppose it felt kinda nice preparing for baby. But there isn't a need to in my opinion.

rhi that's a horrible thing to say, your dd's in playgroup ffs! How deep and meaningful can the friendships of little 2/3 year olds be?! Can't say I'm still friends with anyone from nursery!

la I read your post closely and it's amazing what you've said about writing things down etc. I have GAD but have never done anything about it other than read an anxiety management book. But I make lists/spreadsheets for EVERYTHING! Just the other day I wrote a list of the main things we need for the baby, and as soon as we've had our 12 week scan I'm going to price it all up, and have already worked out my mat pay, when my 24 weeks full pay will stop, when the 12 weeks stat pay will stop etc. Never knew it was a recommended technique for people with GAD!

Also how lovely (in a weird and twisted way) to see how many people do suffer with it. Makes you feel like others know what youre going through

Rhi that's rotten of your mum!

I'll be washing the baby clothes. I'm quite excited about it.

I can help with mat pay calculations of anyone is confused. Direct.gov is quite good for checking you qualify.

JC your pay is calculated on an average from weeks 21-29 so if you do more overtime in that time your higher rate smp will be higher

Oooh you're handy purple!! The bit I forgot - which Mr La pointed out - was you get paid month after you do the work. I get paid on 15th of month. So I'm on a/l from next Friday normal pay, then 6 weeks 100% pay from 14th July before smp kicks in. So I'll still get my normal pay on 15th July and 15th August. Smp doesn't hit my bank until 15th September. Am I right? So smp will actually only need to be dealt with from September onwards by which point I'll have paid off my c card so I'll be able to cope hopefully.

Looking - I think it's pretty widespread but people still don't talk about it enough! I've had anxiety all my life and it manifested as stomach pains and upset when I was a kid then became more serious as an adult. Lists and spreadsheets keep me sane but I have to sit down every Sunday and check my money spreadsheet and my lists to feel comfortable.

Looking - the spreadsheets themselves aren't CBT but the working through of your mindset while you create them is. So I learned how to work through whatever was worrying me to a solution. Side effect of that was I would create spreadsheet or list to help me get there. Eg

What's worrying me?
Not being ready for baby

Ok - well then what do we need to do to be ready for baby.

(Create list/spreadsheet)

Ok think I've worked it all out. It's a big old spreadsheet and now my brain hurts. I get more than just smp coz I work for the nhs (very lucky with mat pay I know). It's this month and next month's unsocial hours that count towards my mat pay which is why I've been forcing myself to do lots of shifts since the start of June. Think end result is I'm going to ask if I can come off nights. They make me ill and I don't need that right now. Also I should definitely be able to take 10 months off and if DP gets his are in gear and sorts out requesting a pay rise then I could take 11 or even 12 months off depending on what he gets. Also if we save well over the next 5 months then we should have a small cushion to get us through (which we've not had before). All in all this is making me feel better. I still want 12 months off but I can't control that, it's down to DP. Even with the nights it won't make a difference so here's no point in forcing myself to do it.

La that sounds right. It depends if you get paid on the 15th for 2 weeks in arrears and 2 weeks in advance which is what I used to get.
You will get mat pay from the first day of mat leave. SMP is 6 weeks at 90% so yours may be topped up by occupational maternity. SMP is then 33 weeks at £139.58 or 90% whichever is lower.
So in September you will get 2 weeks at 90% (or 100%) then 2 weeks at 139.58.

Note SMP is nearly always paid by the week depending on the number of Saturday's in the month. So some months you might get 4 weeks and some months you get 5.

Some payroll software (inc ours) will pay it by the day so you get £19.94 for each calendar day in the month. I've asked work to do this as it's more even.

In the public sector the lower rate is often topped up to half pay for 12 weeks so then you would get 6@90, 12@50 then [email protected] a you often have to pay back the half pay if you don't go back to work

Don't know if any of you knew that if either partner earns over £50k then you won't get full child benefit. If it's over £60k then you don't get any child benefit. This doesn't apply to joint earnings. So if you both earn £40k you still get child benefit.

One of my SILs didn't know and has to pay loads back...oops!

Didn't even know I'd get any child benefit! How much is that? And how do I get it?

I get 8 weeks full pay + 18 weeks half pay+smp then 13 weeks smp with the nhs

Well, mw has been. Attempted a sweep, but cervix stil thick, but open 1cm.

DS thinks baby will come on thursday. Hoping that the attempt will help in some way, so Im bouncing on my ball, and DH has a job to do tonight !
Sorry about your cat pud.

You can apply for child benefit online once baby is here. Or also someone gives you forms, can't remember if it is hospital or when you register birth.

La your MiL is hopeless so tactless! Doesn't she know that bigger babies are often easier to get out (up to a point; I concede a 12-lber might be tough)? I say this as the proud deliverer of two miniature specimens...

Rhi your DM is even worse! I really hope she doesn't say things like that to your daughter...

Child benefit you get the form in the bounty pack (if you get one), or you can get one online. Might be able to do it when you register the birth too.

Sam's Belgian service today...was beautiful. I have two leftover lemon drizzle cakes and a banana loaf to eat by Monday morning. Anyone want to pop over for cake??

Yes please chat x I hope you're ok it's bound to be a very hard day for you, sending you lots of love. When are you back over for the UK part?

Purple thank you I'll check that on Monday RE pay in arrears.

Definitely not over benefit threshold we don't earn enough.

Had lunch with dh and his dad. His dad is so sweet. He paid for lunch and helped me to speak to dh about his drinking. Dh is working tonight but still had a large glass of wine and was about to order another. I gently reminded him that he needs to be able to drive if for any reason I go into labour early, plus he's working tonight, plus he's ready got one taxi home this week and it's too expensive for him to get another. Dh was sulking a bit so I went to the toilet and fil had a word while I was there. He does understand but just loves booze and gets carried away

Me and cats are sitting on our garden bend in the sun

Child benefit is 20.50pw for the first child and something like 13.55pw for the second. Even if you're not eligible due to earning above the threshold you must apply - my baby brain forgets exactly how it works but it protects your state pension while you are on maternity leave even though you'll be turned down for the crisp payments. If your household income is below £26kpa then you can also claim tax credits for the first child (higher thresholds apply to subsequent children). The first £100pw of stat mat pay is excluded from the calculation so definitely worth checking eligibility if your partner earns less than that. You have to apply based on last year's earnings, let them reject you, then contact them when the baby arrives to report a change of circumstances.

Chat I'm glad the service went well . I'll happily take some cake off your hands but might not arrive before it is past it's best x

Cym does that mean you're 1cm dilated? Or is it different bit confused

*garden bench

Garden is straight not bendy

*actual payments not crisp payments (mmmm crisps...)

Ooh, I didn't know that Pis is that £26k combined income including the maternity pay? And does it run tax year - tax year? And if you return to work early and then go back up to full pay so are no longer eligible do you have to pay it all back or can you keep the bit for the time that you were lower than £26k for?
It's all so confusing!

I'd like to be paid in pic n mix

UK part is on Tuesday, La. Just coming over for Mon-Weds, our longer trips back will be later in the summer once DD's school is out.