November 2015 ladies! Time to feel the glow!

[Focusfocus]

Are you expecting a babe in November this year? If so, get ready to get glowing. Breaking out in spots, or tears, or both is part of the so called glow. Feeling sick, contemplating births and having the odd good day of eating well is also all glow.

Come on then. Wee in the corner to mark your spot. Have some or or . Then glow.

I'm rubbish at remembering to take my vitamins, even though I leave them out I still forget. Hoping the odd couple a week is enough!

Ive opted out of vitamin d I never took it with the other 3, I did folic till 13 weeks but I'm not a big fan of vitamins full stop. I feel fine and I'm eating enough.

Although it's an easy tea as I did a roast yesterday so I'm having waffles veggie fingers and beans yum!! Such child food!

I saw my consultant yesterday and she advised to take vitamin D throughout pregnancy. Its the only one needed whole way through. I have the folic acid with vitamin D and she said that's fine to take. My friend is part of a folic acid trial to see if taking folic acid all the way through can help prevent pre-eclampsia, so certainly can't harm to take! Abbey that is me!! I leave them out on purpose and still bloody forget!

Vitamin d is important because almost everyone in the uk is deficient. It mostly doesn't come from diet, but from exposure to sunlight. Apparently rickets has risen in the last few years because of vitamin d deficiency in pregnancy.

Ooo good tip about the free car seat!
I’ve been taking pregnacare and just hoping it has everything I need because I’m really not getting all my vitamins from my diet

So I’ve just had a meltdown at work. Am mortified and currently not trying to burst into tears at my desk (again).
The company I work for is pretty huge, and every week they send an email around with all of the jobs from across the business that are currently being advertised.

The email came through this afternoon with my job on it. No one told me they were going to start advertising now, and it’s really freaked me out. It’s over 4 months until I’ll go off, so it seems really early – if I’d handed in my notice I’d be on 3 months, so why is this any different. I’ve had barely any communication from HR since they found out I was pregnant (my boss told them before I had a chance to which I was also cross about). All they’ve done is send me an email with a document outlining what I’m entitled to. No one has asked me how long I’m planning to take off, or when I’m planning to go off, or even just sat down with me and talked though everything with me. And yet here they are just advertising the job, without even letting me know.

I realise I am overreacting because I’m pregnant and emotional, but this has just really freaked me out. I know that the chances are everything will be fine, but what if they aren’t. I mentioned to my manager a few weeks ago that I’d appreciate it if they could wait until after my 20 week scan (which is next week) to start recruiting, and considering I wouldn’t even have to have let them know I’m pregnant until 15 weeks before my due date, I don’t think that was much too ask. And actually, if they’d just communicated what their plans are to me I don’t think I’d be this upset. It’s just the shock of seeing my job up there being advertised with no warning, as though it’s a done deal that it’s happening has really thrown me. I am not at the stage where I am assuming everything is going to be fine – I’m very much hoping it will be, but I will relax a lot more after our scan next week. I’m probably being completely unreasonable, but I just feel as though I’ve been completely cut out of the loop on this, and it’s my job after all. I’ve had barely any communication from HR or my boss about what happens while I’m off and this has just really thrown me. Argh.

Sorry for epic post!

mrsscarlett I'd feel the same as you. Employers can be pretty rubbish when it comes to these things. I haven't told mine yet as like you say, 25 weeks is the deadline.
I had the opposite last time in that no one would recruit! I was wanting to leave earlier because of my placenta praevia and they finally said I could recruit when I was 35 weeks talk about cutting it fine. We got someone in that luckily had no notice to give, but only had 2 days handover (and I'm the only person that does my job - no one else could show them) because I had DS at 36 weeks whilst still at bloody work.
This is why I'm not feeling too guilty about another pregnancy as they weren't exactly supportive last time. Still dreading telling them though

It's just so frustrating - they haven't even asked me when my due date is yet here they are recruiting

And clearly I am to have no part in the process... even though it's my job, that I will be coming back to - so you'd think I'd like to have some involvement?! I appreciate that maybe I can't be in the interviews (although I know others have been) but a heads up at least about what they are thinking would be nice.

It sounds crap, especially if they don't know when you plan to go on leave or for how long for it's totally daft. Some women take 6 weeks, others a year so they need to ask. Or you could go at 29 weeks or 40...
My work don't recruit until they have the mat B1 form, some sort of policy they have, which seems sensible

That makes much more sense to me. This just seems really... I dont know, disrespectful? I've had barely any communication from anyone about maternity leave, I'm not even at 20 weeks and they are essentially shouting to the company and our industry that I'm pregnant. It's not a secret or anything, but I've not made a big annoucement about it, just let people know as and when I see them. I had such a rocky start to this pregnancy with lots of bleeding etc - which my boss knows about, so I just feel like this is incredibly presumptious.

That's very thoughtless of them. I guess it is probably just thoughtless rather than malicious though?
I'm desperate for my boss to start recruiting for mine. I'm finishing and 32 weeks so quite early. My role won't be easy to fill and I'm demanding the deciding vote in who gets the job!

I'm struggling to eat well too. I'm having lots of protein and good things like yogurt and eggs. I'm just struggling to eat enough fruit and veg which is unusual for me no wonder I'm constipated

I reckon my work will leave it too late and ill be stuck with either no one or a rubbish replacement! I'm a teacher so it's important they find someone who can cover me for the kids sake.
Mrsscarlett they just have those business head on which is really annoying when you need to be treated like a person and not an issue that needs sorting :(
I have a friend who is leaving her job this summer and her school has advertised her job as maternity cover. She's not even pregnant!!! She's now got half the staff congratulating her :-/

My boss had a meeting with the admin team managers about my job last week and an email has already been sent to a recruitment agency for my job, I'm the MD's PA.

This person will be coming in for a 3 week or so handover on a fixed term contract as I know roughly when I'll be back! But it's scary to think they're looking for people already and that I vaguely know when I'll be back!

Laura, I'm a teacher too and my head asked me to let them know about my pregnancy as soon as possible in writing so they could recruit this term. Took part in the interview process earlier in the week and they have decided on someone. I guess if there is a problem at the 20 week scan then the person just doesn't start - I am just not thinking about that. Positive mental attitude!

My school is not so organised loulabelle! From what it sounded like today they won't look till after summer :-0 I am also a single subject teacher so no one at all can cover me. Im going to try and not stress about it.

mrsscarlettbutler my work were a bit rubbish at communicating their plans for my leave last time, they too were advertising my post before they had confirmed my end date. At least last time I could badger HR in person, the woman who deals with mat leave is lovely but so forgetful. 3 weeks ago I asked her for a change of address form and had to ring again to remind her today.

I'm a bit crap at taking my vitamins too so I bought one of those tablet boxes divided into days of the week and that's helping. It's daft, I took my pill religiously every day for 5 years.

I work in HR so have been quite vocal about wanting to take the lead in recruitment for my cover. Mrsscarlett, while I'm sure your employers aren't behaving in malicious way, I'd be bloody fuming. It's strange...I've generally worked in companies with lots of pregnancies, so considered myself something of a maternity pay expert, but I still had loads of questions when it came to my own meeting!

Oh and I forgot to mention, dh's boss didn't know what paternity leave was. He thought it was only when the dad takes time off instead of the mum

Missscarlett that sounds annoying. I work for a big, public sector organisation and the bureaucracy is a bit crazy sometimes. Last time they couldn't appoint my maternity cover in time and she ended up starting a month after I went on mat leave. Needless to say when I returned everything was a mess. I can't imagine that things will be any different this time. Plus I want to wait till after I see the consultant to decide when to go on mat leave - if he thinks I am likely to have another prem birth, I might go a bit earlier this time.

Its a girl :) wont let md put pic on

Scarlett that is terrible !!!! Can you mention to hr how you feel?
My boss released my mat cover role when I was in annual lave - and 15 weeks ! I am doing all the cv reviewing and interviewing for this role - 16 month contract starting as soon as poss to train up and my year off and two other headcount in my team I manage - so far last week and this week 10 candidates interviewed and none right - also agents are saying I am 20% underpaid !!!! And will never get someone in on my package - like a kick to the teeth ! I work in a big asset manager in the city so so so demotivated to work so hard and suffer the exhaustion I have!

Hr forced me today in a 121 to say when I plan to stop work - o guessed 37 weeks but had not prepared and was caught out! We get 18 weeks full then up the 39 stat pay then nil. So really need more time to think it through!

Another teacher here and I know they'll leave it to the last minute. Felt the first kick today. Watched the bbc documentary on fostering and cried my eyes out. Those poor kids.

Have a Mental health midwife appt tomorrow and am so scared !! Anyone heard of such a midwife?

When I got hit by a minicab cycling - it was understandable I ended up with ptsd from the accident as I broke my back - stable no operations to glue it together eg - in 5 places- but was playing hockey 1 year later and diving so only minor pain since which I manage sort of ok when not pg as take pills!

As I had therapy for the mh issues 6 months after due to having night terrors - fear of sirens too , v anxious and was very low ( depressed is a strong word)and stupidly returned to work three months after so was in pain etc. I am being sent to the mh midwife as booking in midwife said so - I am fine and have thank fully been fine three years as therapy was ace ( emdr treatment) but so concerned she will say I am not given my sudden irrational anxiety about baby being ok and rage hormonalness! Eek!

Good news tho elsewhere - physio nhs referral was taken seriously given the pain I have now in my lower back and pelvis etc and appt confirmed Monday! Go nhs!

Congrats cish!! Lovely news! Abbey,that sounds like my parents haha! At least it's sorted now!
We are getting the cosatto giggle 2 aswell, thanks for the heads up about the free car seat!!!
I've been a bit damp too & a bit gooey, it must be a normal thing for this stage with so many of us being in the same boat!

I had 16 wk appointment yesterday, on one hand I heard the heartbeat which was amazing (it's so fast!!) but then I get all this stuff thrown at me!
I'm low Papp A which means the placenta doesn't function properly so the baby could be a low birth weight & prem & it makes me high risk of pre-eclampsia, that scared the crap out of me & it's got me really upset !! Then the consultant said I should start injecting with insulin every day in case I get diabetes, I don't have it & was baffled why I would inject until I need to! Then she said I was high risk of blood clots so we could think about blood thinning injections!! I literally left my appointment in a confused/scared daze! Then burst into tears to my manager when I got back yo work!
I don't feel as bad today but I'm definitely a worrier so all this really isn't helping!
On the work side if things: the company I work for doesn't even have a mat policy & as I'm the first one to get preg they are having to write it now! They have currently been writing it for 2 months!
Sorry for the long post x

Toots: how did you go about getting physio? I'm struggling to walk & I'm only 16+5! Back, legs & ankles are agony! Xx

toots I had PTSD after my first birth and didn't get referred. Although the midwife only seemed bothered about PND as she had a tick box for that.
I'm sure it'll be fine, I guess they'll tell you signs too look for etc, although I guess you already know them!