JS viroids are here in their 28th outing complete with exploding belly buttons. There's royal foofs and jiffy bag gifts, but most certainly NOT x-rated colouring books at the VAGINA party HQ!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 28th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The thread we have graduated from is here in its 46th outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread in postnatal clubs here for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

Here is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oLJqpadAb2givKYq8OJfGCti3s6xzsTGlI-GoaBfM_M/edit?pli=1#gid=0

Purple I have a friend who works in Belfast. In the unlikely event of delivery there, you'd be in great hands

Hope things are cracking on now Tori

Not a good scan, won't be going over 38 weeks. Growth crap, transverse with spine down. BP up, unsurprisingly. Another week to wait, scan again, watch movements...

Sorry to be all m-me-me viroids but I'm so worried about this sharp pain, it's still been coming every now and then throughout the day, I'm certain it's not wind. I've spoken to the community midwife who was utterly useless and all she can do. Is give me the number for the early pregnancy department, where no one answers the phone! I have been trying to call for half an hour and there's not even a voicemail service. So there's nothing more I can do

Do you all really think it's just muscular/stretching? I'm so worried.

Oh chat big non mn hug. hope you're okay, really sorry it's not the news you wanted. At least you've got an end date in sight..

cym hot bath sounds lovely, how are you feeling today?

tori you are a braver woman Than me aiming for drug free, I get the bum cheek thing too, sitting on a tennis ball used to help but now I think my pelvis is a bit too wonky for that.

Get thee to Iceland la and Hoover some magnums down! I hate the non-joined up not reading notes thing too. I've been told to skip mw next week and just see consultant instead and I am so relieved, the last one I saw was a bit of a cow. That said she'll probably be the one to home visit me to check my battle damaged foof after the event knowing my luck.

We have thunder and hail here, I'm having a very mini storm chase from one side of the house to the other..

Looking - phone hospital switchboard and ask to be transferred through. Definitely speak to someone, if only to get reassurance. Sending a hug.

Chat - feel terrible now about my buoyant 'I'm ok' post. What happens if baby stays transverse? Is it a CS then? So sorry you had a disappointing scan xx

Looking, I do genuinely think it's one of the thousands of niggly pains you get as baby settles in. It's a bloody worrying time though and I understand that you're concerned. Just rest as much as you can and phone for advice, hopefully they'll answer the phone soon. If they don't answer, ring your midwife back and get another number for someone who could put you through. On their own shooting pains aren't much to worry about, strong crampy aches and bleeding are much more of a concern, but I totally get that you want professional advice and that should be easy to get, waiting for them to answer the phone is unacceptable really. Hopefully they'll have you in for a scan though so you can get a good look at your little bean.

Chat, sorry to hear your scan didn't go so well, but you're in good hands and being watched very closely, join La in a Magnum or two and hopefully you'll feel better soon.

Thanks all. Finally spoke to someone via the switchboard only to be told I should phone the gp! Gp rang me after I spoke to the receptionist and basically said to wait it out another 24 hrs and then come in if it doesn't get better. She asked if I had any bleeding etc none of which I had so I just hope to God that it's a positive sign. Think I'm going to have to tell my line manager in work (who's lovely) as I feigned a stomach upset and called in sick today but if I'm still not feeling up to going in tomorrow I don't want to keep lying as my employers are great in fairness...

Thanks viroids. It'll be a section, La - and in the words of my doc 'quite a tricky one', TinyChat is in a very awkward position. My biggest concern (aside from its miniature-ness) is with my previous spinal surgery, I'm staring a GA in the face which is the last thing I wanted. Especially overseas. Really pleased MiniLa is head down and settled though - and so long as you can still breathe with your notes on your chest, they aren't too big

Looking if EPAU aren't answering, try switchboard - there's often another phone number, in an office, that's not given out anywhere. Worth a try. Early pregnancy and the rest is full of these niggles. Most turn out to be nothing at all, but do speak to someone if you can.

Or looking if you are really concerned, just go in. That's what my mw said when I couldn't get through on the phone.

Raspberry magnums are all over Europe! I like to think we have helped spread the word

chat sorry to hear that it's not good news. Does minichat still have time to behave? When do they stop moving and need to be in position?
My mw wouldn't tell me baby's position (at 30 weeks) as she said it will probably move again. From
Feeling the lumps and bumps I am
guessing that this one is transverse. When should I start worrying and/ or standing on my head?

la the wc vaccine killed my arm for two days

I have to say I'm inclined to agree with the others looking that it's likely stretchy pains. We have all been surprised by how intense and uncomfortable they can be in early pg. I used to get them at night and oh my god they were sore!

Chat - I'm keeping everything crossed that microchat turns. I know you must be worried plus going through it in a different country is bound to be unnerving. I guess time will tell - we are here when you need to chat or vent!

Hope everything is OK looking - I am sure it is all normal but totally understandable to be worried when you have no idea what is normal and what isn't, I'm sure you will get some reassurance soon, no bleeding definitely a good sign.

I'm 35 weeks today, Fleur and they say they won't let me over 38w, so I make that 21 days to turn! DD turned at 33-4w, and there's plenty of stories of babies not turning until the day of labour,so no worrying yet. How the feck are you 30 weeks already btw?!

I'm 31 weeks, midwife was last week!

No idea where the time is going

Hi Viroids!

Sorry for the long absence. I confess I have given up trying to catch up on the last Fred and have just started fresh with this one

Looking is it low down where your leg meets your body? If so, I had lots of sharp pains there which turned out to be early round ligament pain, but they feel like someone is stabbing you. However, if you are at all worried and are getting no help from the EPU then call 111, they may advise you to go to A&E, and then you can do so with a clear conscience.

Ga so glad you peed yourself! How did your workmates react to the news?

La scarves can fuck off to the far side of fuck. And the only instance in which they can stay is if you want to wear one. Nobody should have to cover up to breastfeed. Honestly, if I find that certain family members have an issue with it, I may do it all the more just to annoy them Cobra slapping is very odd, but sounds dirty and therefore should make it into the next Fred title!

Fleur I am also addicted to grapes. Said addiction is becoming quite expensive. I can demolish a punnet in 20 minutes, and still want more At least they're kinda healthy though!

GX for you Tori! and Happy birthday! How come you're being induced? I'm sorry, i've probably asked before, I just have a shit memory...

And Niff, I don't think I've said it already, but congrats!!!

And what's new at Chateau Lemon? I am 14+5, in maternity jeans have never been so comfortable and have been stalking freecycle for the past few weeks and have some serious bargains! Saw cousin-in-law at the weekend who is due in a couple of weeks, and whilst we get on well there was much 'imparting of advice' to me She also wants to write a book on how to have a baby without buying shitloads of stuff...this is her first and her parents are worth about £25million...I am reserving comment for now. Told an aunt by buying her some beautiful wool (she's an amazing knitter) and told us to make anything she likes, but preferably something to fit a newborn Just have one set of friends left to tell that I am upduffed, and then I can shout it from the rafters Am seeing them at the weekend.

Also, (if you're still reading you need a sainthood) if I had my 12w scan 3 weeks ago and they said I'd get a letter in the post about the date of my 20w scan, when can I expect it? I need a date as I'm travelling with work!

lemon no it's higher up, to the right of my belly button xx

Probably implantation then like others have said, but if you're not happy then you need peace of mind, however that comes. Don't give up until you're reassured!

Looking, sorry that you are so worried. I had stabby/pin prick pains early on, in fact I think bambino is on the left on my womble based on those pains! I also had a LOT of painful cramping, more intense than period pains and would make my legs hurt too, but pretty sure it was just all stretching though and settling in. Gx you get some reassurance soon, be persistent with 111/GP tomorrow if you are still worried. I told my boss earlier than I had planned to (due to restructuring) and they have been super supportive so I'm really glad they know, I'm sure yours will be too. And if they're not we'll send them a jiffy poo

Jcandy, get signed off work and rest, you are growing a human and it is hard work. for you

Ooh and Lemon it is lovely to hear from you, I am so excited about maternity trousers it is unreal!

Pud they are literally the comfiest things I have ever worn. Mine are from Jojo are were on £29, so not expensive particularly, although they only do one length. I am rocking the turn-ups though

Can't wait! I normally don't wear trousers (due to IBS uncomfortableness) other than yoga pants at home so v excited to be able to wear jeans!!

looking I felt so bad in early pregnancy from pains and dizziness in the middle of the night that I ended up in the EPU at 4am. No bleeding is definitely a plus. Hopefully you can get some reassurance soon - be forceful!

Viroids! My. Epi-No. Has. Arrived.

Looking that's exactly where I had it too. I still get it now. It sometimes takes my breath away. If it's the same as mine it will keep happening from time to time and waiting 24 hours is pointless. I went to the EPAU when I had spotting but I had to make an appointment, I couldn't just turn up. I'd go to the GP on an urgent appt and get a referral.
If it helps, when I had a MC the pain was like the worst period pain ever. Hope you get some reassurance soon, sending hugs

Chat, I'm sorry it's not good news for you, sending unmumsnetty hugs to you too

We've been to padstow and had a huge lunch (not in Rick steins) and I've felt rough since because I ate too much. I had a sandwich and a piece of cake so fecking tons

Been burping all afternoon to stop myself being sick. Went to bed for 2 hours and slept. Now just don't know what to do with myself and keep crying

Gp has signed me off for 10 days so now it's just up to me to rest. Feel quite glad actually, takes the stress off a bit. Just hope it's long enough to start feeling better.

Oh Purple, don't cry! Can you just be done with today and go to bed? for you.

Lemon it's good to hear from you.

Pud I'm rocking maternity leggings and normal ones in a bigger size, with some cropped for variety well I am on holiday

I got maternity trousers and jeans a while ago and I wasn't the right shape to,stop em falling down. Need to try again now I've got more bump

Yey JC, well done for getting time off. Feet up. Netflix on.