JS viroids are here in their 28th outing complete with exploding belly buttons. There's royal foofs and jiffy bag gifts, but most certainly NOT x-rated colouring books at the VAGINA party HQ!

[ChatEnOeuf]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 28th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The thread we have graduated from is here in its 46th outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread in postnatal clubs here for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

Here is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oLJqpadAb2givKYq8OJfGCti3s6xzsTGlI-GoaBfM_M/edit?pli=1#gid=0

It was Niff! The potty mouthed ho-bag!

She said.... Erections! shudder

I just dont understand how some people have the energy to be so offended by stuff. I mean, get offended by something really offensive like FGM or human trafficking, if you have the time to spare.

And attention grabbing? Surely not if it's incomprehensible to 99% of the population.

Oh dear.

ind I have no idea what flavour jelly bean I've got (there are so many jelly related bean jokes!!). We will find out though because I'm too impatient!!

Anyway, thanks for the advice earlier re my shagging injury. Pain has subsided and no bleeding so I'm hoping we haven't shagged the bean out. I went for quite a bumpy off-road bike ride yesterday so I certainly hope it's firmly burrowed in there. It's certainly still making me feel like shit, which can only be a good thing.

Ga, grr to your DM.

La, I forgot to congratulate you on your sneeze-wee-fart yesterday. Or was it laugh wee fart? Anyway, I am furiously doing pelvis floor exercises as I type.

Dulcet, I imagine if a baby arrived in your house with no warning, like from a stork, you'd cope somehow. It is, after all, just a baby. It won't care if you have all the right stuff and have thought through every eventuality. Just feed it, cuddle it, I've heard there's also something about some pooey nappies too? and you'll be giving it all it needs. Well, most of it anyway...

Clearly, I have not engaged with the having a baby propaganda yet, and will be eating my own words at some point.

Pixie glad you've had a nice day after a shitty week and hoorah for bargains.

Cym good luck! Hope things start soon if you're feeling ready to go!

dulce we have the 'we don't know what we're doing/what do we do with him/I'm not ready to be a responsible parent' freak out probably once a week, since about 30 weeks. Now we just look at each other, then the bump, shake our heads and say 'fucking hell'. You'll be fine! All you've got to do is keep another person alive, and I figure I can do it with cats, so you can too :)
What is it with bank holiday pearl clutchers eh? Bloody leave us alone and hide the threads if the titles get your bloody pantyhose in a knot.

Had corking BHs in the garden centre (I am a bit obsessed, maybe this is my version of nesting) while we were at the checkout waiting to pay. Lady behind the counter said 'ooh, how long have you go left?' And Mr tee quick as a flash piped up 'oh imminent really, she could go at any point!' Cue the people behind us stepping back and checkout lady ringing everyone through double fast. Hee hee. Nothing else seems to be happening now, just achey back so I've got my wheat bag stuffed down my leggings. Sexy.

Ooh it's an actual complaint in 'site stuff'?! Taking it over the heads of the plebs to the big guns who won't give a shit. Personally I thought that was a stonking title - good work Niff. They're back with the comments about us trying to show off and be rebels. No you jackasses, we're trying to make each other laugh. Imagine you had the time in your life to be annoyed by thread titles.

I keep having moments of freaking out. Not helping that usually, when worried about something, I try to read up/ research all the options.

The books are scaring me. DH has now banned the books

We have just got back from part 1 of our holiday, the MIL bit and go away for a couple of days on our own to a spa tomorrow.

This is like the watershed moment for us, all along we have known, after the end of this week it's all nct classes and me leaving work etc.

We will never be alone again, scary stuff.

Someone needs to drop those losers a C-bomb. gaggia?

Did someone say C-Bomb? Aye go on then I'll treat the fuckers to that!

Thanks all, I know it's probably normal. niff, that's pretty much exactly what DH said - of it happened tomorrow we would find a way. Did point out he would have to rush off to buy a pram! It's just so unreal. DH called it the 'most deliberate mistake we've ever made' which was an interesting way to put it. This is exactly what we wanted but when it happens you can't help but think 'fuuuucccckkkk' sometimes! At least a cat can go in the Cattery if you want a break tee!

Anyway, tee, if your waters go at the garden centre do you get free plants? I wonder if waters are good for the plants actually - full of nutrients! Mr Tee seems to realise its imminent though, that's good. DH still saying a couple months here but could be 6 weeks. He's just distancing himself.

wil, you have two kids - a perfect excuse! DH did quite rightly point out it's more likely to get worse than better. We are just not tidy people!

How was holiday fleur? Looking forward to part 2 I bet!

Another moaner. Still not sure what was so bad about this one... Pfft, there are so many better things to care about! Hope MN step in soon.

They're moaning about erections? Well there's nowt like a good erection to make a viroid moan. For some reason the line 'the woman has five children - she's no stranger to cock' (written by an MNer who's MIL had walked in on her giving her husband a blow job) springs to mind. No idea how many children the complainant has!

Ooh, I thought the presence of vaginas had got the pearl-clutchers out again - I was abit worried! Hats off to you Niff, excellent Fred :)

We still have 'Oh Fuuuuuuck' moments. Usually when DD has run us both ragged - contemplating a second one is really quite frightening sometimes. But we'll be fine

Good to see MrTee is fully signed up to the imminent-ness of things, Tee.

Ga: NBU, can see why you'd be annoyed.

We went to Ghent today. Beautiful place. Chap in a shop told me I'd have the baby tonight if I stayed over as bombs were going to go off this evening. His wife saw my eyebrows shoot up and swiftly corrected his bombs to firecrackers...Ghent FC won the league, it's their end of season party tonight - we weren't planning on staying, which is probably wise

Aww Pud! Hope you've been fed my lovely! You can't live on sugar cubes, you're not a fucking horse!
Dulcet arse rain is a deffo sign of imminent labour (if it's near the time) your body wants to get rid of all the shit (literally) that might block baby's exit chute. When I first started labour I kept saying I needed to poor and the midwife got all excited and was wondering if I was getting ready to push. Then she was like "you're about 3 cms dilated- I think you actually need a poo" ???? ??
Fleur definitely step away from the books! They don't do anyone any favours. Apart from make me angry that my baby never did what it was supposed to do according to them.
Early night for me and OH there is absolutely naff all on telly so I'm sat on here whilst he's watching Reruns of entourage.
The weather is going to be poo near me tomorrow so no idea how I am to amuse DD and myself all day. Can't even take her to the library as they are closed too!
Going to start a hunt though for new baby groups to take her to after half term. She needs more stimulation than she's currently getting at her current ones. The website mums in the know is absolutely amazing, you can look up anywhere in the country and it'll give you a load of activities/ groups and events that you can take your DC too! I love it, saved my life today, had no idea there was even a fair on within a stones throw of me, I was all prepared to travel for an hour to go to some farm and pay £30 in so DD could stroke a chick.

What, we've been complained about?! Fabulous :)

I'm with you on the backache tee. Also wondering if I've had a show though I suspect if I'm not sure then it wasn't one. It wasn't gross, more like EWCM. But I have felt very angsty / emotional today too. Who knows... It's still 10 days to my due date!

Glad to hear you're all having good bank hols. I still have WTF moments about this pregnancy and this is #2. Somehow we survived and we will again. And it wasn't terrible, there were just a few shitty moments literally and figuratively.

Re "the books", I read Gina Ford out of curiosity. Three days after DS was born my DH found it in the garden as I had hurled it from a top-floor window after reading her suggestions about what I should have for breakfast. Grrrrrrr

Lol Before!! That's the exact book I had! Think we tried it for a week and the thought bollocks to it! My midwife rolled her eyes when I told her we were trying Gina Fords methods. Her exact words were "pardon my expression but I fucking hate that woman with a passion" next time I saw her I told her I'd decided to listen to what my baby wanted and was going with the flow and she practically hugged me! Gina Ford is not a friend to midwives.

Before it could've been a show.. Was it quite big and jelly like and was it tinged pink at all? Sorry viroids for TMI

Two out of three Pixie, no colour. Thing is, i had a v v obvious show last time so I'm thinking not. Wishing I could get the party started tho, I'm so ready.

Gx for babies soon before and tee :)

We told the in-laws today. The first thing they asked was "was it intentional"?

I did this face

Omg jelly that's wanky

"Yes, parents-in-law, we had masses and masses of unprotected sex, it was excellent, thanks for asking."

Would have served them right!

That is an excellent reaction jelly! What did you/DP say?!

That was it pixie, was in the class they said your body empties out in preparation! Hopefully that's what's happening cym!

I think we should leave the moany thread for MN to comment or to die a death now. I find it quite upsetting that people can't just leave alone as today I am emotionally pregnant! and don't think it will get us far to keep defending it. What I don't get is why these last two have got more attention than cunthawk which I'm sure made it in once at least!

Yep really similar here before I don't know if I'm losing bits of my plug, I was standing in the kitchen talking to my mum yesterday morning and def felt something descend into knickers (sorry...) but it was wet white goo, I expected more jelly. I've had lots of the same today too, coupled with the backache and BH I keep getting my hopes up... Got my fingers crossed for you! I'm 12 days to DD and seeing consultant Wednesday to see how far they are going to let me go without help. If I can get going unassisted I think that would be preferable, but these niggly pains are going to drive me mad if they don't materialise into something. On the flip side I literally feel like I'm broken from the waist down,mso in short, hurry the fuck up tiny Tee!

Ugh jelly I would have (and might have used this line) said no, I tripped and fell on his knob and BOOM! Pregnant. Hope DP put them straight.

jelly - maybe it was a moment for the perennial mumsnet favourite "did you mean to be so rude? "

Just back from a week's holiday in the canaries, which was lovely but too short. purple - I think it was you asking about flying as time went on? Obviously, everyone is different, and work trips aren't the same as a holiday, but I had no trouble and am just over 25 weeks now - and all being well, will be flying again within Europe at about 29 weeks and am not too worried after this experience. Not saying you have to do anything that doesn't work for you but just wanted to say that it might not be too bad both travelling or being away from home.

And on a totally separate note, can someone give some good advice, please? Maybe la ?
Junior cat has just brought in an intact but cold small bird's egg. I have no idea where she found it so can't return it. Is there anything useful I can do or is the fact it is cold a sign it's too late? Help!

Yo! Will catch up properly later but just answering deeplys question - if it's cold I'm afraid the embryo will have died so legally you can dispose of the egg.

Very envious of holiday!!!