JS viroids are here in their 28th outing complete with exploding belly buttons. There's royal foofs and jiffy bag gifts, but most certainly NOT x-rated colouring books at the VAGINA party HQ!

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Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 28th grads thread... celebrating the success of Just Shagging in getting us viroids upduffed!

For those that don't know, a 'viroid' is from the original JSing thread 1, where someone was trying to type ladies (in reference to all the JSing ladies), but their phone decided to call us all viroids instead!

The name stuck and we've been the JSing viroids ever since.

The thread we have graduated from is here in its 46th outing. WARNING: they're all a bit kerazy not to mention randy!

There is also a Just Mumming thread in postnatal clubs here for once your babies come along, or to keep up with the graduated graduates!

There is also a private facebook group (so it doesn't give the game away in your news feed!)... if you want to join to see photos of new babies etc, just ask in-thread!

Here is the stats list, please update your own spot with any updates: docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1oLJqpadAb2givKYq8OJfGCti3s6xzsTGlI-GoaBfM_M/edit?pli=1#gid=0

I'm illlllllll! My throat is very sore. Also thinking I need black out blinds, not the baby.

Ticking time bomb at least implies he knows it's coming tee! He's mentally prepared. Mr Dulcet said this was 'the most deliberate mistake he ever made' which I know he meant nicer than it sounds but hey!

Had to bury our smoke alarm in a blanket in the living room one night la. They always pick such an inappropriate time to go off. Like you can fix it at 3am!

Yes, why do smoke alarms always tell you their batteries are running out at 3am? Design fault, surely

Also love Eurovision - will be weird watching it here though!

Dulcet - yes, spine down = lying down nestled very comfortably across the exit - will be a bugger to get out at section apparently, if it stays that way. Good if my waters go though, as the risk of cord prolapse is low. DH is around all of week 37, but is meant to be away for week 38. That's the week my sister has said she will try and come over for a few days but she won't know until closer to the time, so his trip will be cancelled if I get that far. DD came at 37 of her own accord, so we shall see...

Ga I hope TinyChat is OK, certainly anatomy looks normal as far as we can see, aside from the size. There's so many reasons why it could be little, some of which are inconsequential but I know too much about the other ones to relax much. Can't change anything, so trying not to google and just count kicks obsessively. My doc is v good and understanding - his wife is a neonatal doc so he knows exactly what I'm thinking.

Oh your OH, Pixie! I bet he thought he'd done such a great job...

JC Hyperemesis doesn't need a hospital admission to diagnose - just more vomiting than 'normal'. Hope it settles down, and you can get some rest - not worrying about work!

Hope your pains are better today Looking

Much better than fruit is the dad's version. I'm baking a ukelele this month...except it's still the size of a loaf of bread.

Eeeeep, go and see who has got a BFP on undergrads Fred! !

Hiya! Slept through alarm due to stoopid smoke alarm beeping all night but luckily woke up in time.

Tee I'd probably call any hormonal fed up preggers woman a ticking time bomb, so I doubt you're alone.

Chat is there anything you can do to help turn microchat? All fours etc? I don't know anything about transverse babies and obviously you do and it's scaring you. Surely it can't be too unusual? I'm glad you've got your sister arriving to keep you company when Mr chat is away.

Mr La arranged for Internet to change to new provider yesterday but it's not gone over for some reason so we've got no internet. I'm meant to be working from home today. Really pissed off - my hips hurt and this breaks up the week for me so I get break from desk. Mr La thinks it's 'not a big deal'. Mr la is about to find he's got a banana shoved far up his ass.

Ticking time bomb...

How you doing tori? Are they letting you eat yet?

Had osteopath last night. He manipulated me a lot and some scary clicking and creaky noises were heard in my hips. At one point there was a large crunch. He also cracked my shoulder blades and fixed my frozen shoulder hooray!

General opinion - body is tired and two subsequent pregnancies mean I'm a bit worn out. But hopefully it'll bounce back once this little one pops out which he's going to do of course quite painlessly!

Indigo what's an epi-no?

Lemon lovely to hear from you doll! Hooray for 14 weeks!!!

Purple - HUG!

JC nope hyperemesis is the condition you don't necessarily need to be hospitalised. You poor thing it's not nice, but so glad they signed you off

So delighted for jelly!

Yes, lovely news La, I do love an epic bfp :)

Hi gang! waves

Sodding alarm la, glad u got back to sleep though.

Sorry to hear of worries chat. You probably know this already, but is it worth going on the spinning babies website to try and turn microchat?

jc I had hyperemesis too, but wasn't hospitalised. Luckily I'm self-employed and managed my workload so I had loads of time off. Glad the docs have signed you off work - I don't know about you, but I couldn't function beyond staggering from the sofa to the bathroom to throw up. Don't be scared to go back to docs and ask for more time as well. But just be assured that it does pass - it's only temporary (although I know it feels never ending at the time). Has the Dr given you any medication? I found Avomine really worked for me.
Oh, also go find the hyperemisis support thread (I think it's in Pregnancy) they were a real help to me when I was at my worst.

Get well soon dulce

All good here. Can't remember if I told you that I had to make the heart wrenching decision to stop breastfeeding totally gutted but my body is really struggling to heal after labour and I just can't keep it up. Emmie has taken bottles like a pro though and I'm still expressing a bit, so she's still getting the good stuff for a bit longer.
Also, my dm is arriving tomorrow and she'll be staying with us for almost a week. I'm so excited. She's only seen E for about 10mins since she was born because I wasn't allowed visitors in the intensive care unit in hospital and then when I was discharged dm had to go home (300 miles away) to work. Can't wait to see her!

Yay BFP for jelly?! That's so weird, I was just thinking about her this morning on my way to work thinking it would be so great if she was successful soon

Ooh la you missed my previous rantings about the Epi No?! It's basically a pelvic floor trainer and aid designed to reduce the need for an episiotomy and your chances of tearing. It's an inflatable small balloon basically with a pressure gauge and hand pump. You insert the balloon into your foof and do two types of training. Any time throughout your pregnancy you can do the "up-down" training. That's where you insert the balloon and pump just enough to have some pressure, then do pelvic floor squeeze and release type exercises. But you make a note of where on the pressure gauge you are lifting the needle to when you squeeze, it's not the starting point that's important but the amount of "squeeze" you can do. So you do this for ten mins daily. You are meant to notice an increase in the amount of pressure as you build your pelvic floor. It is also really good to have feedback to tell you when you are letting go of your pelvic floor effectively too. So then from 37 weeks the fun begins and you do ten mins of up-down training then followed by your "perineal stretching" training. You expand the balloon until you feel your perineum stretch and a slight discomfort (not pain). You then leave it there for (I think) another 10 minutes, might be 15. Then at the end of the session you practice really letting go of pelvic floor and relaxing, and slide the balloon out inflated. You then measure the size you achieved against the chart, and each day should manage a little further. The goal is to stretch a little bit more up to 10cm by your EDD (apparently average width of babies heads).

I've not used mine yet! That's all the blurb I learnt when looking at it. It totally makes sense to me and when I phoned up to chat to the distributor about it last week she told me that two hospitals in London are now recommending them. Go onto research and there's a few bits and pieces to look at on their website. I'm really looking forward to seeing how I get on. Makes perfect sense to me to condition your body as best you can beforehand. They are mega popular in Oz, where apparently you learn about them in antenatal classes too! The lady said to me "would you rather do the splits in a oner, or practice over 3 weeks?"

Yeah mini that's about all I can manage. The doctor offered me that medicine but as I find that mine is so much better if I rest I thought I'd keep doing the lying down for now and if it gets worse then I'll take it. As long as I'm lying down my nausea is manageable. Going through so many books! Sorry about your breastfeeding, sounds like you made the best decision for you though so well done.

Indigo that sounds very intriguing, I've been trying to do pelvic floor exercises but don't know if I'm doing them right. Where can you get it from?

Our smokes alarms are nice. Before the battery runs out, it will start with giving just one soft beep every hour. The frequency and loudness will increase over a couple of days, until the battery dies and it starts blearing its head off. So once we notice a beep, we will go and investigate. Thankfully the batteries last for years (about 5 years), as the alarms are also attached to the normal electrical circuit. The batteries are just there as a backup for when the electrics go.

Also, I told Skinnycow (aka Mr Fattycow) that I was thinking perineal massage could be nice to prepare my body for labour. At first he was all like "you want me to do what?", but after explaining it involved massaging the 'in-between' bit and putting his fingers inside of me, he became more enthousiastic. Especially when I said I would consider massaging his 'in-between' bit in return.

ROFL at 'in-between bits'

If I call it the perineum, he will still look like this and . So in-between bits works best to describe the bit between your genitals and bum hole.

www.epi-no.co.uk

There are some good YouTube videos somewhere on that website which show you how it works!

I thought it was one of those hair removal things. This is much worse! (forgot about the conversation about it before, now I remember!)

Waves Hello! A new grad from the JS fred!

Name: Feather
Age: 31
EDD: 24 January 2016
Weeks: 4 weeks 3 days!
DC: None, just a DH.

Seriously early days for me but really excited. Peed on a pregnancy test every day for the past week which is going to bankrupt me any day soon so decided to book in for a private scan at 7 weeks 3 days to alleviate anxiety!

Ahhh, I'm seeing names I recognise on the Fred! La and Gaggia hello!

Oh god. I just read the bit about it being a good idea to stretch my vag with an inflatable balloon. whistles innocently and desperately tries to block the idea

Pixie I understand why you would want an elcs then. Hopefully hospital staff will be sympathetic - I can recommend having a debrief on your previous birth, it really helped me

Welcome feather!

Congrats feather! I also did loads of tests - 5 or 6 in the end I think and one of them was after an early scan bonkers, only stopped because I ran out! Impossible to believe even after many weeks!

Hi feather jolly good to see you here!

indigo epi no sounds like a good idea. Would it stop me pissing all the time? I also have soooo much cm that its like I've pissed myself anyway even when I haven't.

Welcome feather!! Congratulations! You'll get tonnes of support here, don't be afraid to ask/rant/moan accordingly! Lots of 'yes that's normal' happens on here :) I never knew pregnancy was so bizarre... I peed on tests for about 10 weeks so you're in good company!

I've stuck you on the stats sheet, feel free to update as you wish - link's in the header.

Hi mini! waves cheerily don't be despondent, plenty of women have to make the decision to stop bf for whatever reason - yours and your baby's health and happiness are most important and there's no point in you struggling on if it's too much. Hope you have a lovely time with your dm, she can look after you for a bit and take the pressure off you hopefully.

spinning babies website? epi-no inflatable fanny balloon? 'in-between bits'? WTF? Different language being discussed today!

My internet is back on, dh has buggered off to work and I've just prised a dead blu tit out of famous cat's mouth. He is not impressed and has stalked off in a huff.

dulcet get well soon sickly one!

I've got the app recommended by someone on here (deeply perhaps?) - called Kegel. It reminds me to do pelvic floors six times a day. Going to start perineal 'in-between bit' massage soon, can't afford fanny balloon with the amount minila is costing!

My parcels arrived yesterday - as well as my posh changing bag I also received a package with our new nursery curtains, handmade by mammy La and my aunty (gorgeous - cream with blackout lining) and also a Sophie La Giraffe sent by my brother in America! It's the gift set with teething ring. Very excited to be getting presents already from people, how lovely!

I would absolutely love to see bfps for all the JSers, but as well as jelly it would make my day to see lil, tink and honey get theirs - they've been on there the longest now I think? It's always nice to see a long-term JSer have success. It was fantastic when me, dulcet, purple and mountain were within 10 weeks of each other as we'd been there so long.

Indigo let us know how you get on with the fanny balloon and I might invest for any second (eek!) pregnancy

JC to know if you're doing pelvic floors right you need to squeeze like you're trying to stop wee or fart. You'll get the hang of it! Don't do it on the loo though as you could end up with UTI!

Smoke alarm is in disgrace. It's wrapped in towel in the living room.

Ooh welcome Feather and congratulations

Bugger about smoke alarms La hope it's sorted now.

Fatty I'm laughing at your in between bits