July 2015 - more and more beans are seen on scans

[StoneBaby]

Here's the new thread

Please come and feel it!

Morning all. Feeling totally unpregnant today, but I've got a horrendous cold so I'm not sure if it's just all bundled together into one horrible illness.

But looking forward to scan this week yay! Most people already know now but it will be nice to have all the tests done etc and feel like I can relax a bit. I'm 12+3 today.

How are you all still hiding pregnancies at work? I have a fairly prominent bump, there's no way I could've kept it secret

Sorry about your nightmare commute number! Hope the day picks up from here. I also commute in to London and am feeling much worse again as a result, but the nervousness about talking to my boss definitely makes it worse too (and the early morning).

miss I am plannin on tellin my work teams with an email that says ''Coming soon...'' In the subject and a clip art picture of a baby in the email :) just told bosses PA who is excited as knew she would see the emails to my boss. She didn't honk I was excited though! Maybe it's cos I am tired and the novelty of telling people has work off haha!

Arranged mtg with bosses boss to tell her face to face as knowing her she would blurt it out if I sent her an email...

I am hiding bump by wearing swing dresses to work. V good especially now boobs are bigger as they just hang straight down

Oops forgot

11+3

MisterSafetyCatchIsNotOn Good luck telling work!
Why do we get so nervous?I was nervous telling my boss, but had to as we had a work event in Newcastle and I would be expected to drink.
He was cool, mumbled something about 'bloody maternity leave' and now just calls me fatty and brings me mcflurries haha

Just told my boss who wasn't suprised. He thought I was pg due to me having a few Dr's appointments before Christmas. Director was pleased for me as well. Oh well at least they were prepared.

Fleur you do know it's illegal for them not to give you a pay rise or bonus that they would have given you just because you're pregnant. They would be in very dodgy water if they did that. I know it doesn't always work like unfortunately.

Naturegirl82

Ahh that's great news!

Re: your last line about bonus / pay rise - unfortunately this has happened to me! I took 8 weeks off work after having DD and was told that this meant I would not be receiving a bonus, I was horrified but nothing I could do as they just wrote in my appraisal my work was 'satisfactory' when infact I had achieved a lot! I was disgusted and let my boss at the time know how I felt and that he was bang out of order.

Morning all

Good luck to all of you with scans today and all of you who are telling your employers xx

Morning all. Good luck to all who have scans and are telling work. I emailed my boss on Friday and he sent a very lovely reply. I had been very nervous as I have only worked there since September. DH saw the boss in the gym later in the day and they even had a conversation (initiated by the boss) about making our garden child friendly (we both work at the same place which comes with a house) as it's currently open at the back. I found a good information site about your rights at work which I'll try to dig out later when I'm on a laptop.

Just had scan, little bean looks well and cyst we were worried about has disappeared . Feel rubbish today. Projectile vomited a cup of tea up, combined with a cold so sympathies to those of you who are also suffering. I did read that if you do a rubbish job at work due to pregnancy issues they can't sack you (although they can still sack you for other reasons) which is a good reason to let them know early on about it (if you're anything like me work has not been great due to feeling constantly exhausted and sick).

Told my boss this morning and she was excited. Also told a collegue who works closely with me and he said he thought I was glowing this morning and I had shiny hair! Haha! That was nice, all I see is spots and dark eyes! Few more people to tell now then word will spread

Number3, I am thinking my exH will be exactly the same. He currently gives me £100 a month towards a joint loan we still have and then £100 a month (£12.50 each a week) for the kids, which doesn't even cover their school dinners, let alone anything else!! He earns £25k a year and lives at home with mummy, so his outgoings are minimal. Just before I discovered I was expecting, I dared to mention us discussing him contributing more financially, to which I was told "take me to court" and he laughed at me because apparently I earn too much and I am not entitled to anything from him at all - so he has a shock coming to him.

I am planning on telling him somehow this week about the baby, I know I will get shite from him, but I am also planning of telling him that if he gives me any crap at all, he can discuss his "financial arrangements" with the CSA, or CMS, whoever they now are. He doesn't realise I am entitled to £80 a week for both DC, rather than £25?!

The day will come I'm afraid that I go down that route, it is not fair for the DC to suffer, but I know his attitude will be "I'm not paying for someone else's baby"!

Yeah I think my ex thinks the same, that I am only chasing him as I am pregnant, but my OH pays for his kids at the moment!
He does work, but doesn't earn a lot, but even so, he should pay up.

He didn't even buy them Xmas presents.

I am really upset, OH is a teacher and has a trip the day of my scan (next Thursday). I called to change the scan appointment and the woman total bitch on the phone said no, tough, that's the only one.

So now I will be going on my own

This is the website I referred to - it's from an angle of sickness in pregnancy but it's generally useful as well.
www.pregnancysicknesssupport.org.uk/help/employee-information/

The thing is, I am a solicitor, solicitors firms are the worst for not doing things by the book/ just within the rules.

Bonuses and pay rises are "discretionary".

I work for quite a small family firm, they always pull rank when it suits them.

My immediate boss (one of the partners, sister of another partner and daughter of the senior partner) will be overjoyed and will ask that I bring the baby in all the time. The others will grumble about the "cost" of my maternity leave and will find a way to sideline me. I will only get statutory pay.

Meh. Their loss. I do loads over and above my workload and will offer to use my 10 keeping in touch days to cover busy times/ admin that none of the partners ever want to do.

Number3 he didn't even buy them Christmas presents??! That's outrageous, and that alone would send me straight to the CSA!! At least mine bought them some presents, although DS has an "IOU" for some as exH didn't "get time " to go shopping - my response was just "Funny how Christmas just creeps up on you out of nowhere"! [sceptical]

Do you have a good friend, or mum or someone that could come with you? I went to DD 20 week scan alone as DS was poorly, and that was fine, but I would definitely wouldn't want to go alone to the first scan, although I know you've already had a couple.

I bet OH is disappointed too, such a shame.

number as far as I recall, your ex should pay 20% of his net income (ie after tax) in maintenance (for 2 children). This would also depend upon the number of days the DC stay with him.
On £25k I would expect him to pay around £300 a month.

fleur thus painful that you will only get statutory, I would have thought as solicitor firms are private and you are all well paid that they would offer some sort of enhanced pay! My solicitor friend also said she would only get statutory if she got pg

Ladies need your opinions. DH and I want to go away before baby comes for a week holiday but only time we can go is when I will be 36/37w. We want to o to cornwall which is 4.5-5hrs drive away, we would stay for a week coming home when I am 37+0. Is this sensible? Would you do it? Do you think drive too long and too far away when you are that pg? We were planning on pottering about on beach, eating ice cream, gentle strolls and drinks in pubs.

Overtiredbackagain

He is really disappointed, I don't think he even wanted to talk about it as he is upset. I will have to ask the sonographer if I can take a quick video of the heartbeat all being well or something.

My ex is a total penis, well not even a penis because I like those.

He had the kids boxing day until the next day and said he didn't have money for presents. What bollocks.

It's ok because Mummy and OH got them what they needed.

My ex seems to have dismissed all responsibility for his children, but still refuses me to add my surname on to the children's names.

They currently have his surname and I want to change it because I constantly get called 'Mrs Shitface' and it causes lots of confusion.

DC3 will have a double barrelled surname, not making that mistake again.

wantto law firms are the worst. Bare legal minimum. Only the big city firms provide enhanced packages. The pay off for having a convenient local job!

TBH I would go. Yes, it is a long drive but you can break it up by making plenty of stops or even booking a travel lodge/ premier inn along the way.

I'd actually say most private companies (not just solicitors) only pay statutory. That's all I got last time. I'll only get more this time because they changed their policy in December as they want to be more family friendly. Government jobs however mostly get 6 months full pay!

Want I wouldn't be going away that late. Someone from my postnatal group when into labour at 37 weeks. It would be a long drive back with a newborn if you were to go into labour then.

Fleur I'd heard that about solicitors before. Very dangerous for them though as they could get pulled up for discrimination.

Sorry that meant to say went into slow labour before 37 weeks and had the baby at 37+1 I think. She was in labour for a few days as well.

Number3 and Fleurchamp - My exH has had the DC a grand total of six days in 2014, so £300 a month would be like winning the lottery, although I would then expect him to renege on our joint loan, although I would still be better off!

My exH has completely dismissed any responsibility for the DC, he literally sees them 6-7 hours a week, which is split between an hour or two during the week after school, and 4 hours on a sunday afternoon, he's not interested in any more than that. He struggles to even call them these days, especially if he is going out. I literally had 4 nights out last year, one of those was my birthday dinner for my 40th!

My OH contributes more financially and emotionally in terms of support for DC, although we always make it clear to DC he is not replacing their dad. Over Christmas DS who is 9 asked if OH will be proposing to me, because he fancies changing his name?! Breaks my heart really, but he is old enough to see what his dad is up to.

Fleurchamp I work for an American law firm in the City, relatively small office and we get a grand total of 12 weeks full pay, then a return to work bonus which is split between six months. Admittedly it is more than the statutory maternity pay but not enough for me to be off work for longer. I'd love to take at least 6 months off, but don't think we'll be able to afford making up the shortfall, so I'm looking at 4, maybe 5 months maximum.

Mine's 6 weeks at 90% so I will be taking the 6 weeks, plus probably 2 or 4 weeks holiday, then back to work.

We should start a Due July 2015 lotto syndicate?! It would be fantastic if we could all NOT have to go back to work, even for a year or two?!!