April 2015 (and some Marchies) miscarriage survivors... can't believe we're half way there

[TinyTear]

Thread 3

Woohoo

22+3

Babie I hope DP's grandfather does manage to hold out to meet LO. My Grandma died 6 weeks after DS was born - I had no idea she was ill (bowel cancer) as my parents hadn't told me because they felt I had enough to worry about being in hospital and then having DS born prematurely I don't think I would have been able to take him to see her anyway, even if I knew, but my dad's cousin did at least show photos of him to her, so she knew about him.
My dad is terminally ill, but is relatively stable at the moment, so I'm hoping he is going to be around to meet his granddaughter and see her grow up a bit. But I take it day by day.

On the maternity clothes topic, I am indebted to a couple of friends who are "done" having babies who have passed some things on to me. I had a few things from last time, but as I didn't make it to term, I was still wearing some normal loose dresses (especially on the fricking hot antenatal ward - strappy summer dresses in April!). This time I've really needed the tops that my friend has given me, and I have two pairs of under-the-bump trousers and an over-the-bump pair of jeans, plus a couple of wool mat dresses from H&M. I'm lucky that working from home means I don't need a great deal of "workwear", so I get by on that front with the one or two suitable things I do have.

Is it back to work for most people today? I'm trying to crack on with a project plan today which needs to be done by the end of this week - I was quite motivated for the first 2 hours, but am losing my concentration now! Need lunch...

babie I hope dp's grandad holds on, my mum's grandad died soon after I was born, she always says he hung on just to meet me.

I'm back at work, just sat down to have lunch whilst waiting for a tesco delivery, I've been quite productive this morning but have lost all motivation now

Babie I hope that your DP's granddad can hang on to meet your DD.

At the moment, I am a fan of over the bump jeans and trousers. I love my over the bump leggings but tend to wear this at home as I haven't got long tops to cover my bottom/legs whilst out & about.

I was back at work on Friday :( I've just calculated that I have 100 days till I go on maternity leave!

Can you take leave earlier London?

I'm starting to panic a bit about how we will cope financially while I'm off but being back today has confirmed I really can't go on much longer, my hips are hurting again and they haven't for the last week and I'm really tired, I've been getting up at 9 and resting when I've needed to at home. Today I got up at 6, sat down for an hour at 12 and now have a headache because I'm tired and I've got to keep going till I finish at 6.30 not to mention driving home

29+1

No Smiling I have used up all of annual leave this year by coming into work late and leaving early for school pick ups.

I have submitted my MAT B1 to employer this morning requesting my maternity leave to start on 20 April (EDD 26 April!) I have requested one week of unpaid leave before my maternity leave starts. I just hope that I can hang on for that long - can't leave any earlier as we need my income.

I can echo you both. As an agency worker, I don't get any mat leave and my income pays the mortgage and childcare. I'm now having sleepless nights about it, and really need to get my head out of the sand as I'm 32 weeks tomorrow, and bloody shagged. This last couple of weeks I've been sitting down most of the time, and having naps in the afternoon. I'm back at work tomorrow and work in the community. At this rate, one visit a day is going to knacker me out! We've talked about me ending in a month, so I need to give notice to employers, childminder and bank this week.

Oh the joys!

I'm the main wage earner so we are going to be dropping a lot but I think it would be irresponsible of me to try and push it longer, plus I'm not sure if I will fit behind the wheel much longer. I'm short so have my seat quite close, I've pushed it back as far as i can but the bump is touching it already.

Tanny tiredness is my main worry with working when I'm so far along in my pregnancy.

Smiling I think that you are being sensible. I would definitely start my maternity leave earlier if I had a demanding job such as yours.

Can anyone recommend a UK holiday destination? We would like to take DS away for a week in August before he goes back to school. Ideally I would like to limit the drive to a max 4hrs from Guildford. We have been to Wales, the Cotswold & Dorset. I was thinking of Cornwall but am bewildered by the choice as to where to stay. I've been told that North Cornwall is fab. Bunny will be around 14 weeks old.

I was thinking of going to France initially but was worried about whether Bunny will be OK with the long car journey & whether she'll need vaccinations etc?

London I wouldn't recommend a long drive at that age, personally - we drove to Tuscany (over 3 days) when DS was 14m but still a terrible sleeper, and in hindsight it was a stupid idea - DH and I were both too tired to be doing that much driving. DS was pretty good in the car as a little baby, but would sometimes have screaming sessions - not sure I could have listened to that for hours! If you only went to Northern France, it may not be so bad? Or you could get the train? Re vaccinations, Bunny would have had 2 out of her 3 sets by that point, so I think that ought to be fine?

We've stayed here once before - really nice self-catering cottages on a farm, which are good value. There are quite a few good children's activities nearby, including the seaton tram, and the model railway place at Beer called Pecorama.
Or there are hotels like the Polurrian or Fowey Hall in Cornwall which are perfectly set up for holidays with children, but they are rather eye-wateringly expensive! DH went to the former as a child, and my boss has been to the latter with his family - we haven't done so yet, as I can't quite get my head around forking out that much money...

What about Norfolk, we really enjoyed the Norfolk broads.

We are planning on going away in October half term, we thought since we will be picking dsc up we might as well carry on a bit further and take the kids away for a week, we are thinking Devon but possibly the Isle of Wight.

I haven't ever considered my job to be demanding until I got pregnant, I hadn't realised how much I do in a day, but apart from the odd 15 min here and there I don't actually stop.

London - Guildford is my home town but moved away for good at the end of last year . I would say dorset/devon/Somerset are good and not too far. I think with car journeys it is difficult to know how they will be at that age - with dd she went through stages of sleeping throughout car journeys and then phases of screaming in the car. Her latest phase is she is fine in the car unless she falls asleep and then wakes up and we haven't got there and then she looses it wanting to get out.

Smiling - I think anything with kids is physically tough because you cannot take a break on your terms. I find days with dd much more physically exhausting than when I am at work (office based). It also sounds like your employers expect a lot of you.

Tea - hope dps grandad holds out. People often can hold on for significant events.

Got my 1st 4 day week back at work tomorrow. Not looking forward to it as I know the next 11 weeks are going to be tough. My maternity cover still isn't advertised so I know it will be a rush to get them into position and it will just be an increase in my workload in the rush to finish.Â

lig my bosses have only just advertised my position so they have 5 weeks to get applications, interview, check references and employ someone, not to mention doing a handover with me.

They have also decided to have some major building work done starting next week so that I can oversee it before going on mat leave, I think they have just realised I am actually not going to be here and they need to sort out cover.

Midwife today, for the first time since my 8 week booking in appointment - hopefully I'll get to hear the heart beat :)

Oh babie I'm sorry your having such a tough time, it does indeed seem to be pouring for you x

shetland that seems a long time between midwife appointments.

I've got the midwife and a scan tomorrow both are now every 3 weeks.

29+2

oh no Babie hope all is ok with your cervix. Remind me, do you have a stitch?

smiling they better get their act together really, they seem to be a bit scatter brained!

shetland wow, that is a long time, didn't you get seen at 16 w?

I have my next midwife app at 28 weeks ish, I think, but I am being seen by the thyroid consultants every month... Have my next appointment on Thursday

And for a funny story, I am glad I am the one who disappears in the morning to work while daddy gets DD ready for nursery. Some days (like yesterday) are great and she was up and ready, others like today, last thing I heard before I close the door and skipped (waddled) happily away was her saying "I don't waaaant any pants"

26+3

tiny I had a similar discussion this morning with 6 year old charge it went something like this.....

Me - you need to get your school clothes on we leave in 20 min.
Him - I don't
Me - you do
Him - I don't I'm going in my pyjamas

Cue a 10 min discussion on why he can't wear pyjamas to school and a screaming tantrum when we are now late for school and he has to go in through the office instead of being able to see his friends on the playground.

I am fully intending to have a set of clothes packed and for it to be one day when she will be taken to school in pyjamas...

At nursery she can be late, but school will be different...
She is going to be 3 in a few weeks so still some time for this sort of tantrum...

(are the 3s going to be worse than the 2s?)

6 year old was the most easy going baby till he reached 2 then he became possessed! 3-5 he was lovely again and now at 6 he's going through a demanding stage, answering back, tantrums, not listening, he's a complete joy to be around

He's sister on the other hand was lovely till she started school then from age 4-6 she was hard work, now at 9 she's getting a little hormonal so has started having melt downs over little things so there's no guarantee that 3 will be any better tiny.

oh hum... we are aware the next 2-3 years will be rubbish until we (hopefully) have 2 we can half reason with

we joke that 95% of the time DD is lovely, some days we turn to each other and say 85%!! and just keep lowering the number

today DH took her bunny to work and will give it to her this evening if she doesn't make me carry her and the scooter home... he just took a photo of the bunny on his desk having a good time, so I can show it to DD

but he didn't just take the bunny, she wanted the bunny on the way to school but on the scooter she couldn't carry him... so he put it on his backpack

Mine is a few weeks younger than tiny's, and a real mix. Very loving and good at sleeping, but screams "get OFF me!!!" in a very loud voice at inopportune moments and only eats about 4 things.

He was a bit under the weather this morning, with a temp, so I'm "working from home" with him bouncing off the walls...

Love him to death though!

32 weeks today!