April 2015 (and some Marchies) miscarriage survivors... can't believe we're half way there

[TinyTear]

Thread 3

Woohoo

22+3

Glad the scan went well smiling Plenty of time for him to turn yet.

So I have given notice that I will start maternity leave on 30th Jan (last working day). Shit shit shit....

Panicked about money but this baby is going to come, and I am so bloody tired!

Things will work out... Will you get child benefit? Can you change to an interest only mortgage for a bit?

tanny I'm panicking about money and how we will cope too, in fact I spent 2 hours last night crying about it, but I'm also tired and finding work a real struggle, today is day 3 of being back after 12 days off and I'm already literally on my knees, I just can't go on and am dreading the next 4 weeks before mat leave.

I did an online benefit check and we will be entitled to child tax credits and child benefit while I'm off so that will help a bit.

it's tough, bloody money...

i am actually dreading more the jan 16 to sep 16 bit as I will have to pay for childcare for 2 children then... my DD starts primary in Sep 16 so we will move her to state school so will only have to worry about breakfast clubs and after school clubs and blooming wrap around care...

the nursery she is in now allows us to pay a year in advance, so we did that and saved about £600... this year so we are not paying fees but putting that money in savings and accumulating childcare vouchers to make it easier when in next June we pay until the following July in advance...

my DH also changed our mortgage to interest only (no idea how he did it) so I can afford that bit with my SMP...

But just being on SMP will suck!

My DP is upping his work hours but even if he doubles them he still won't earn anywhere near what I do so we are just going to have to cut right back. I will get just enough to cover the household bills on smp but he will have to cover everything else.

I've managed to save a couple of hundred pounds that can be used in an emergency but it's not enough to tide us over for 6 months.

I'm also worried about money. Not sure what option is open to us. I've already tried to get a mortgage holiday or move to interest only but the bank said no to both options.

DH said that he'll have to apply for emergency work in the evenings in order to get some extra income... But he'll be shattered & we'll never see him.

Tiny I'm very impressed with your DH. How did he manage to switch to interest only mortgage?

Because he owns his old flat as a buy to let... So he put it up as sore sort of guarantee for our flat...

We're going to talk to the mortgage company about going interest only after it was talked about here, but I'm feeling stupidly nervous about doing it on my own, so made DH promise to do it with me

I have my forms to go and sort out my MA, and I think I need to look at CTC and WTC too.

It's so hard, isn't it? I've been burying my head in the sand for ages, and it feels a bit better knowing I'm doing something about it now. I'm certainly not looking at £300+ travel systems!

Just read your comments tiny and London. Might not be able to do that then. Our mortgage company advised us that we'd have to default and take a hit to our credit rating! It's bonkers! Here we are trying to be sensible and responsible about the whole thing, and we get treated as if we don't give a shit....

Thanks for the tip Tiny. I'll see whether I can do the same as I also have a buy to let property.

Tanny how can i find out whether I'm entitled to child benefit and child tax credit? I suspect that we won't be entitled to anything but nonetheless i'd like to check. I agree that this mortgage business is utterly mad.

Still give it a go... Could be London is a different world... And each mortgage company is different ...

London I'd go to the gov.UK website which details all benefit entitlements, but it is a minefield and calculated on earnings at different times. I always recommend that if after checking online, you're not sure if you're entitled to anything, it is worth contacting the CAB for some extra advice.

The thresholds are all based solely on income, not outgoings, which scuppers us a bit as DH has a lot of commitments , particularly in maintenance to his ex, which eats up a third of his salary (as it should!). I don't know if there is any London weighting involved at all...

Thanks ladies. I'll look into it. I'm currently at home on sick leave with flu and chest infection. Feel utterly horrid!

Oh London that really sucks hope you are feeling better soon!

Tanny I'm doing MA this time too - I had forgotten that I need to sort out the form and apply! and find five million payslips Really must get on with that. I've written myself a to do list this morning, and it is huge. Just as I have a massive piece of work to complete, so I can't really afford to spend time doing admin.

Going for a spa day tomorrow - birthday treat (from last year) from DH. Sooooooooo looking forward to a massage, my back is killing me. But rather bummed I can't enjoy the hot tubs or sauna #firstworldproblem
Plus there is no wifi and you are not allowed to use your phone! for good reason, I know, but I'm trying to think of things to do to fill the day for myself (I am not good at relaxing, as DH often tells me). I have a plan to write Christmas thank you cards anyway - DS is currently painting some for me at home with our au pair

Hope you feel better soon london

I used the gov.uk website to see what I might be entitled to, every penny will help.

DP also has maintenance payments for DSC, that's why he's wages don't really count in our finances, by the time he's paid that, car insurance, mobile bill and petrol he has enough to cover our food shopping, I pay all bills and any other outgoings.

another day, another consultant appointment...

thyroid stable so keeping the 150mcg 5 days a week/125mcg 2 days a week dose...

but consultant actually said my GTT from October was so borderline I probably should have started checking bloods sooner... even though my next GTT isn't until the 19th he already gave me the test and some strips and told me to start monitoring from tomorrow as he is convinced I will have GD again (and so am I)

the good news is that since booking appointment at 8w I have put on only 800g! (less than 2lb)

London hope you feel better soon

Tiny good they have caught the GD now although maybe they should have picked it up at the last appointment. Can I just give an to 800g weight gain. I gained that last week! At least this time my bump is bigger and I feel like less weight has gone to the rest of my body. I am fairly sure I will not need growth scans for a small bump this time round!

Sorry people are having so much trouble with covering maternity leave financially. It really is tough and I know that I am so lucky to have such a good maternity package. (Although my company is Swedish and our Swedish office have amazing maternity/paternity benefits and some people seem to be off for years!) We are hoping to re-mortgage our rental property in October to cover the second 6 months. Since we reach the end of the fixed period this should be too difficult to do. (At least I am hoping or the last 6 months will be requiring the use of another 0% credit card.)

Smiling I am always amazed at what your employer expects you to do. Oversee a building project? Is that normal nanny work? I think you sound like the most amazing nanny and would love to be able to afford someone who could sort everything else in my life out. Your employers are not leaving it long to find a replacement are they? We finally have my job advertised but they forgot to put that it is a secondment rather than a permanent role so I was a little . Not looking forward to interviewing as I don't think I will be too objective as I sort of want someone who does a good job but not too good a job so I look bad when I return. Will you be involved in recruiting your replacement?

I am into my 2nd trimester energy surge....I seem to think I can take on the world. It kicked in alot later than last time but last time it went at around 30 weeks so hoping it well last till then. We (well dh - I just bark orders a fit the odd tile) is fitting a new bathroom and we are getting an extension so there is lots of house stuff to fit in around work and so I need the energy.

lig I'm jealous of the energy surge, I haven't had that I've just been exhausted since the first trimester.

Overseeing building work is not part of my job but I've done it twice before for them so I guess they now think it is. I think I've taken on a lot that isn't actually my role which is something I need to sort out when I return from mat leave.

I don't think I'm expected to have anything to do with recruiting my replacement apart from doing a handover ie. Showing the new nanny the school run/after school clubs/where everything is in the house, but if they don't find someone soon that won't be happening as I won't be here to do it.

That's shocking tiny but at least it's been picked up now.

LIG let's say the 800g is from a BIG base already to start with

The problem is that after the first GTT it was the midwife who gave me the results, a specialist should really have looked at them, but at the time the specialists were more worried in sorting the thyroid...

at least as i had GD previously, i half changed the diet - porridge in the morning, less carbs, that sort of thing... although christmas was a bit of a splurge...

Lig great news that you work for such an enlightened company! And having that energy is great...

Tiny, I am also with that weight gain! Since stopping SW I've gained 6 lb!

Smiling I'm not surprised your knackered! My work has been great at winding down my work, and I could still do with a nap most days. Roll on maternity leave...

And London, get well soon x

tanny you are still thinner than me...

You are on my FB, you can see my pictures, I got HUGE after the miscarriages, put on 8 to 10kg from comfort eating