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April 2015 thread 5: where we hit the half way point and determine the sexes

999 replies

TheBooMonster · 12/11/2014 15:07

Hi Everyone.

Our previous thread is here and our stats thread is here Do make sure you update your details there if you haven't already :)

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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cinnamongreyhound · 18/11/2014 13:29

They don't agree daholster because they are people with their own opinions and experiences and I find they use that a lot more than guidelines often which isn't very helpful when you're a new mum and want a definitive answer. My ds1 was a big baby and had gained at 5 days old but I was still told off for letting him sleep too long in the day, which he did if we were out and he was in the sling. Apparently my midwife and hv still felt I should have some routine ish feeding for him but unless there's real concern about a baby with blood sugar so low they won't wake for a feed I wouldn't wake a sleeping baby personally!

daholster · 18/11/2014 13:45

Yep cinnamon that's what we quickly decided! If you don't need to wake them then don't...

The oven cleaner man is here. Should I be hiding upstairs? Confused

daholster · 18/11/2014 13:49

PS Agreed on the smoking front... But as you say it is important to remember that you don't know how that other person is coping. I am very lucky I simply never ended up being offered a cigarette until I was at uni by which point I was too wise to say yes. I know it can be incredibly hard for some people to give up. I feel lucky I don't have to.

I also agree with your point about the "in my day" stuff. Where there is real research I follow it, for good reason. The thing with alcohol safety is that they keep changing their minds!!!

Not getting to have my eggs and bacon since the oven cleaner man arrived really early! Angry

kismac · 18/11/2014 13:51

Toast, pepsi and anti sickness pills. They are my morning sickness saviours. Sorry, that's all I've got. Ha ha. Hope it settles soon. I've not been sick yet this week, could it finally at 18+2 be over? Dun dun dun!

TheBooMonster · 18/11/2014 13:54

Random note, I'm reading up about peoples hospital bag tips and one that seems genius: Get everything together you want but get your birth partner to put it in the bag so they know where to find it.

OP posts:
londonlivvy · 18/11/2014 14:06

Assessing risk is so personal. Last time I cycled (slowly, down a tow path) til about 28 weeks. Some were horrified. I tried to point out that I could also have fallen in the crowds going down the steps at Clapham junction (more easily, in my opinion).

Interestingly, there’s always the perception that in France they are very free and easy, whereas my experience of there (I’ve lived there and had a French boyfriend for years) is rather different. A nation of hypochondriacs, mostly. :-) Their medical advice for pregnancy is more restrictive than the UK. For caffeine, for example, they say you should be v aware that caffeine can not only lead to miscarriage but can also hinder the placement of iron in baby. I’ve NEVER read that in any UK or US book so I was surprised by the argument but I have heard before about tannins and calcium. I’ve had one cup of coffee and one cup of tea a day which isn’t too bad – definitely less than the UK 200mg rule.

I have abstained entirely from alcohol – alcohol free beer is totally drinkable and good for morale if everyone else is drinking, I find. Also stops people bugging you “oh just one beer won’t harm, my mother drank, etc etc”. It’s OUR decision and I have never made a remark to anyone else who’s drinking, but we have chosen for me not to drink. Personally, I don’t find alcohol necessary and whilst many people drink small amounts and their babies are absolutely FINE, I read some research showing that even small amounts cannot be guaranteed to be absolutely safe, therefore decided that, for me, I preferred to avoid it. Again, though, I have taken other risks (headstands in yoga, say, which some would regard as reckless).

Food wise, again, France says no crustaceans or molluscs (hepatitis a) and various other things not even mentioned in the UK (eg game). The French advice I read also says raw veges fine as long as washed or peeled. The UK says no liver but Hungary says eat liver, it’s got lots of iron. So, frankly, I think all the food stuff is worth thinking about. I have had a couple of runny eggs (from lion stamped) but wouldn’t eat pate. But all this talk is making me want it!

In Canada they advise against eating anything with artificial sweeteners (aspartame etc). In France they’re a bit anti soya products – I think it alledgedly can have an impact on the development of sexuality.

As for waking sleeping babies… I woke DD to feed her during the day, as I subscribed to the theory that you’re supposed to get all the calories in during the day so they sleep better at night. It didn’t bloody work, she was a CRAP sleeper. So not sure what I’ll do this time. I certainly would NOT wake a sleeping baby at night, unless it was dangerously low in weight.

smogsville · 18/11/2014 15:07

Some good food news - I just had a lovely desk-bound lunch - the 'lentil special' by a veggie/ vegan brand called Laura's Idea. Available at health food shops. Yummy, filling and full of stuff that's really really good for the baby - where's my halo...

AnniaFausta · 18/11/2014 15:08

Oooof, having a really knackered day over here... we went out to the cinema last night as a date night of sorts (might as well while we can!), got back later than planned because the adverts at the beginning went on for aaaaaaaages, and now I'm sitting in the home office staring woozily at the computer screen pretending to work... have been trying to work out why I've been so unfocused/knackered all day, but it's only just clicked that yesterday's rather late night might have something to do with it!

TinyTear · 18/11/2014 15:12

what did you see?

Me and DH have thursday off to go and see Interstellar... DD at the nursery and we catch an early showing Grin

She will never know

AnniaFausta · 18/11/2014 15:27

Tiny, we went to see Mr. Turner, which made my line manager speechless with the impressed (not something that happens often...) Thought it was really rather good - excellent performance from Timothy Spall, some really intriguing cinematography I'm going to have to think more about, and generally quite brill for something being given this amount of mainstream publicity. Makes me want to look up a proper biography of Turner now, though (it's all sex and earthiness juxtaposed to High Art and a really good micky-take of Ruskin and the pre-Raphaelites' flouncing).

daholster · 18/11/2014 15:37

New favourite... bovril on toast with hot sauce all over!!! Grin Grin Grin

TinyTear · 18/11/2014 15:45

I want to see that one too Annia

How I miss the cinema since having DD... we used to have a Cineworld Unlimited card and go at least once a week...

Now we take the day off and go on the day (for things like this, and Under the Skin and Star Trek and bigger films...) or we just get DVDs... but not as often...

I am planning to make more use of the Mother & Baby film sessions near me this maternity leave, last time I only went 3 times and then DD was too old and alert (she even watched the end of Prometheus) Grin

smogsville · 18/11/2014 15:57

I used to love going with DD up until she was one. Used to go every Monday at 11 without fail with the NCT crowd. By the time the film had ended it was time for lunch, then a leisurely walk back home and the day was done!

Somehow I think mat leave second time around isn't going to be quite the same... First timers - make sure you all enjoy it to the max!

Wineandchoccy · 18/11/2014 16:02

Me and DH have just heard the heartbeat on my doppler it sounded like a galloping horse Smile

smogsville · 18/11/2014 16:09

That's lovely Wine I remember the horses well!

BananaToast · 18/11/2014 16:28

We get free cinema tickets through the private health insurance we get from DH's company - will try and make the most of it while it's just the two of us! Nice to think that I'll be able to go with baby on maternity leave Smile

upduffedsecret · 18/11/2014 17:37

Does anyone else get the agonising nipples thing? I should have been expecting it this time but wasn't.... Ouch! Now wearing breast pads to try to help...

AnniaFausta · 18/11/2014 18:01

Upduffed, yes, my nipples go all sore and angry! Although they aren't doing it as often as they were in the first trimester, it's still impressive when they do. The cold sets them off as well, which makes walking down to the station in the morning a real joy...

Misty414 · 18/11/2014 18:08

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SquattingNeville · 18/11/2014 19:14

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Lindalove · 18/11/2014 19:29

Misty yes lovely face palm pic too! Getting lots of practice in before meeting real life, I see...

Londonlivvy yes I find how people manage risk/ their differing approaches really interesting too and makes a fascinating debate.

And I think we talk about it perhaps with 'naughty' tones freedom because pregnant women do seem to come under ridiculous scrutiny it feels, and therefore we almost feel as is unless we're whiter than white we're somehow bad. Whereas the research is much murkier than most of the 'rules' suggest if you dig around a bit. There's also research that contradicts research as funnily enough its hard to test too much on pregnant women as its not ethical....

In reality this sort of pressure I think should be challenged as 1) women aren't all the same - different sizes, health, support levels, education etc 2) our attitudes towards risk aren't the same. So its pointless judging people as a result as if you think someone is taking needless risks you clearly don't have the same risk attitudes as them - you're comparing apples with pears.

The fact I have a small glass of wine with dinner a week may well mean there is a very small risk of damage to baby - no one really knows it seems. Equally they can't say for sure it does from what I have read. Personally I think the risk is probably smaller than the fact I live in London and snort up tonnes of pollution every day for example... so its about context, and my choice. Meanwhile my diet is excellent, I exercise, scoff my omega-3 pills for baby brain growth. Swings and roundabouts I think as a result?

I think its because at heart I want to ensure I don't get too swayed by others/ the apparent 'rules' as I think it might make me very unhappy/ not be useful. I aim to be a 'good enough' mum basically!

BTW I read Expecting Better 'www.theguardian.com/books/2013/sep/19/expecting-more-emily-oster-review' when I was in my first weeks of pregnancy and it helped me a lot with some of these issues. I can really recommend it if any of my views seem relevant to anyone reading. I think Brixton mentioned it above so glad someone else read about it.

It also goes into the risks of epidurals etc which I found really useful. She really rates having a doula which is why I am considering it based on her experiences and research suggesting the benefits.

BananaToast · 18/11/2014 19:29

So sweet Misty! Mine feels more like a goldfish so it's nice to be reminded it's an actual little person with a face!

cinnamongreyhound · 18/11/2014 21:03

I've taken ds2 to kids cinema all his life, when he was a baby in the sling and then bigger we always say next to the steps, he'd sit in a me, go up and down the step, sit on Dh then get really distracted and I'd leave Dh with dss and ds1 and let him wander up the entrance bit so mostl behind a wall. Our cinema do a £1 kids film Saturday 10am and there are lots of small children making noise in those so great for first time trips as you don't waste too much! He loves the cinema now :)
We are very lucky that my mum lives close but finances mostly stop us from going! Clubcard boosts help and Orange Wednesdays although Dh is usually too tired weekdays help too.

Nearly Thursday!

Rustyzilla · 18/11/2014 21:40

Those are great scan pics linda and misty. Excuse my ignorance, but are they 3D? Presume not that standard NHS 20 week scans?

Regarding foods on the 'naughty' list, the only thing I have knowingly eaten since finding out I am pregnant is soft boiled/runny eggs. And I did really think twice about it at first but the risk of home cooked lion stamped eggs seems so low I thought it was worth it for the joy that dippy egg brought me! I felt guilty the first couple of times but now I am over beating myself up. I have actually had salmonella food poisoning years ago and got it from dry, overcooked piece of chicken tandoori - not something on the banned list!

Has anyone bought a pram/pushchair/travel system yet?

20w!

upduffedsecret · 18/11/2014 21:50

can't help grinning at the foods discussions... I felt guilty having a non-decaff tea when pregnant with my second! LOL

(this time around I allow myself one tea or glass of cola... I've learned!)