April 2015 thread 5: where we hit the half way point and determine the sexes

[TheBooMonster]

Hi Everyone.

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20+2 for my scan as well, it's next monday!

Pretty sure runny eggs are fine as most eggs are treated for salmonella etc anyway these days aren't they (they have the little mark on them to say so).

Thanks re the kind words on my scan, seeing little mans face peering out has made it twice as real. Now feel like there is a person in there not just 'a baby' or 'it'. Everyone is different I know but I needed to know to help me bond & plan. I hope everything stays well & he stays strong & healthy.

Re the co- sleeping thing - like so many things it's a question of personal choice plus what your baby is like / what routine works best for you so there's no right or wrong.

Personally I want my husband & I to have 'our space' still so baby will be in a crib next to us to begin with (though I will wrap him to me during the day but that's as much about practicality eg having 2 hands to go to the loo with !) Then we'll move him to his room after a few months.

That's the plan but it might all change of course!

daholster franks hot sauce is a staple in our house Amazon do 2.7l cartons of it and I use it on everything!

linda feel less guilty about the mulled wine now!

Have not bothered to weigh myself recently, I weighed obsessively last time and didn't weigh any more on delivery say than at booking in despite no sickness. I'd dropped considerably this time by my 12 week scan and haven't weighed myself since.

20+5 (27th) for my scan and consultant appointment, then we're off to do DD's (somewhat late) birthday party, I'm desperate to find out the sex this time inpatient face

Camembert is fine as long as it's cooked, also runny eggs (lion only) are also fine as they are vaccinated against salmonella in the UK. But if you are eating out you need to check they are lion stamped eggs.

I miss champagne the most, what I would do for a glass of Armand de brignac right now but it will have to wait until after the birth as I'm just not comfortable with it.

Congratulations to everyone who has had their scan. Mine is in ten days at which point I'll be 21+6. It's been such a long wait.
I miss champagne/prosecco too Siarie. And Margaritas. I have had the odd shandy, that's it.
What about office Xmas parties? What to drink? Soft drinks are all a bit dull-like too sugary. We have to limit Coke and I hate fruit juice from concentrate (J2O).
I still cannot face red meat apart from cheap burgers. Mince or steak makes me feel ill. But most of the cravings are gone now. Boo, they were fun!!

I've told a few people, yes, but my partner still has family members he needs to tell and my ex is still living here since he has nowhere else to go (hopefully that's ending soon, council housing is finally getting their act together for him) so it's still a semi-secret.

My eldest is 4, my youngest is just 2. Both boys, which is great :)

Part of me wants a girl this time, but part of me will be relieved if it's another boy... I know what I'm doing with boys! So either way is fine, as long as the baby is healthy! I refused the nuchal scan, but there is a risk as I'm 40...

I will treat myself to one glass of wine at Christmas.

In the office parties I ask for interesting soft drinks like elderflower and things like that... or fizzy water...

Sitting here waiting to see anaesthetist. There is a branch of wasabi right outside I would love to go and get all my faves but Squatting you're right, it's the good salmon stuff I'm hankering for and that doesn't get frozen!

Not bothered about booze but you can defo have cooked rinded cheese like Camembert it just has to be über hot. I like bubbling rounds of chèvre on top of a massive pile of roasted vegetables.

Bloody starving now and it's an age until lunch. I must say I'm enjoying this 1030 appt that means a lazy morning and late into work, God forgive me.

Oh and runny eggs are fine even in the v unlikely event of contracting salmonella it doesn't hurt the baby it would just make you horribly ill.

I really don't understand why anyone would take the risk with dodgy foods. It's nine months, and they fly by. Nor alcohol, which is actually a poison. I don't eat any of the banned items whether I'm pregnant or not, and I don't drink at all either, but if I did, I can't imagine wanting to risk my baby. Sure, we take risks crossing the road or driving, but some things are necessary.
Not said to guilt anyone, I just don't understand it.

Well it's because those risks are removed with preparation techniques. So even the NHS will tell you soft cheese is fine as long as it's cooked. Just like you wouldn't eat chicken raw yet the risk is removed by cooking it.

I agree though with foods that are just listed as a no go option no matter how it's prepared

If that's the case, why are people even taking about it like they're being naughty?

What Siarie said.

I did have a little weep the other day at a friend's when chicken liver crostini came out and I couldn't have them (they didn't know beforehand I was preggo) so I suppose it cheers us all up a bit to find safe nhs approved ways to eat the things we love that would normally be a key part of our diets!

Obviously if you don't usually eat anything on the banned list it's a moot point.

So true Squatting.

There was a sign in a park the other day saying please don't feed the pigeons, they're wild animals capable of finding their own food and giving them extra results in year round breeding.

Now, I'm not one to feed pigeons, but I loved that they'd bothered to lay out the reasoning!

Think I'd still feed a squirrel though, love their little faces.

It's nice to know that about the eggs. I don't feel that the 9 months flies by at all. Like I said I feel a bit selfish that I had a pink steak (not bleeding though so obviously cooked through) and the other things I have eaten I have done believing they are safe so to me they aren't risks.

I also don't believe a glass of champagne on a special occasion or a 0.5% bottle of cider is actually a risk, which many may disagree with. I did it after super fast brain development stage, and the 500ml cider equates to less than 1 unit of alcohol so a glass of that is almost nothing. I wouldn't do it even weekly. But fermentation in food used to be totally normal. Foetal alcohol syndrome happens when people drink heavily for prolonged periods and is totally different. A total of about 5 units of alcohol over my whole pregnancy (from 14 weeks) won't do anything. It won't cause IUGR or learning difficulties. I didn't need it, just wanted it to celebrate my biggest ever success with family and with my husband. I'll have another at Christmas and that's it. I have friends who have had a glass of wine a day through the whole pregnancy with no problems. I am certainly not condoning it, I am just allowing myself to feel more normal this time round!

In fact I have fibbed. I was drinking at least a bottle of wine a week til I found out I was pregnant at 5.5 weeks, poor little mite. We'd been trying and I'd not been drinking for months and months and eventually we decided we were trying too hard and getting ourselves stressed about it. I am much better at getting in the mood and enjoying myself when I have had a couple of drinks to loosen up so we just stopped worrying. And fell pregnant straight away! Then worried for the next 7 weeks til the scan that I had damaged it!!!

So I had been teetotal for most of 6 months before I even fell pregnant. I think I just sometimes feel the need to feel a bit less pressure about it all.

Oh I am going on! In truth I'm a bit disappointed I am being more relaxed this time round but at the same time I am glad. It wasn't that long since I was pregnant with my daughter, so being in a foodie and wine loving family with so many restrictions is hard work!

It's funny freedom that last time I felt just like you! I am definitely more relaxed this time round though. It's odd.

Now then, 2l of Franks Hot Sauce!!! Boo why did you tell me that!!! navigates to Amazon...

I went for dinner on Friday night and had a small glass of wine, and felt absolutely no guilt about it - all the research shows that a small amount (no more than two units, twice a week) of alcohol is totally safe. In fact it's supposed to be much better to drink a tiny bit whilst in second and third trimester than when breast feeding. So I didn't and still don't see it as taking a risk at all - if I thought it was a risk I wouldn't do it! Zoe Williams wrote a fab article on drinking and pregnancy for the guardian a few years ago, sure if you google it you'll find it.

Ditto with eating funny eggs, my eggs are lion stamped so a minuscule amount of risk.

But totally understand those who'd rather avoid it!

I think society is so geared towards controlling pregnant women's bodies and making us feel competitive and guilty before our babies are even born, it's such a shame.

19+6 xxx

Oops, runny eggs, not funny eggs!

It's interesting isn't it. In Norway they are told to AVOID looking at UK and US dietary guidelines in pregnancy. Just avoid alcohol, soft cheeses and smoking, not too much coffee. In Italy they are encouraged to have some red wine sometimes even daily but told to avoid prosciutto. Here commercially smoked meat and fish they say is probably ok, and soft cheese if cooked. Though in my opinion now I have seen that from Italy I will avoid prosciutto despite the UK advice - if even the Italians don't eat it while pregnant! In France they are told to avoid uncooked vegetables for the toxlasmosis risk. Here weare warned about bagged salad but that's it. In America they suggest no use of pretty much any deli food!

I think it's for this reason of utter confusion that I am being a little more relaxed than last time. If you look for research that suits whatever you want to think then you will find it!!! For that reason I doubt it is all sound research, and they can only collect info from outcomes of pregnancy not actually test these things on pregnant women and there is a lot of conjecture.

It's just a shame that the way of the world can make you feel so guilty sometimes!

So prosciutto is off, runny eggs... On? Where is the bacon for a bacon and egg sarnie?!!! Or shall I have dunkers...?

Thanks squatting, hmm wonder how hard it will be to feed baby and not wake him/her up lol. time will tell!

re the "banned" foods it's a difficult one and defo personal choice. I tried explaining to my Nan when she offered me cups of tea/coffee that I wasn't having caffeine as it can have an effect on baby's development, her reply was that it was all nonsense and she used to drink coffee and in her day they would smoke with one hand and be breastfeeding on the other. I had to kindly point out that we are more educated these days on risks to health and that why take a risk, even if it did seem daft to her, when you could avoid risk altogether.

I haven't touched a drop of alcohol or caffine, taken medicines other than paracetamol or eaten more than my allocated allowance of Tuna (and i no longer smoke anyway). As these are "forbidden" foods due to toxins. Runny eggs and meat on the other hand seem more like a calculated risk so it wouldn't bother me eating them (and I won't be missing out on our egg and soilders Christmas day tradition :)

No matter what you choose to eat and not eat people will judge you anyway. One of the draw backs of being pregnant is that everyone has an opinion they want to throw at you, even if you don't ask for it or particularity want to hear it!

Although if anyone has any actual cures for morning sickness i'd happily listen to those!! lol 19+2 and still sick : ( i have a list as long as my arm for the stuff i've tried!

I think it's really interesting listening to people's opinions on this. It's funny that despite the fact I've had a tiny bit of booze, I haven't touched caffeinated coffee!!! But then in the first trimester that does actually have well founded research showing an increased risk of miscarriage so that's why I make that choice. And I don't want an overly excitable newborn!!! Don't think there's ANY research behind that comment!

Hiding when breast feeding lifting a sleeping baby into your skin settles them quickly if they even start to wake and they naturally suckle if you put the nipple on their lips. Latch is often not as good when they are sleepy though so beware... Once I had to move to bottles I actually used to start the feed while she was still in bed, just putting the teat to her lips. If she was hungry she'd suckle and I'd get her out, if not she wouldn't do more than two sucks and I'd just leave it. Believe it or not it's quite hard to wake a sleeping newborn sometimes!!! At 3 weeks she wouldn't wake properly in the night and ask for a feed and the midwife told me to set an alarm and wake her (controversial again!). She told us to use a wet flannel to wake her properly for a feed and sometimes even that wouldn't work! We gave that up pretty quickly because it was so traumatic and I decided I would just try to dream feed her, and if she wasn't bothered so long as we knew she was ok (you know, a bit rousable, breathing and warm etc!) then we just let her sleep. I quickly moved to only feeding on demand in the night time too and she did usually wake just not on the midwife's schedule! She only needed one night feed then another at 5am, not as often as the midwife thought she should. I think they were worries since she struggled to latch at first and was low weight for her length. Still, following our instincts, not the rigid advice, she came up from the 9th to the 75th centile within 2 months I think and has been there ever since! A different midwife came at 2 weeks and said that on demand was the perfect way to do it. I wonder why they don't agree?!

freedom 9 months crawls when the only things you crave are the things you're not allowed, and I definitely wouldn't touch most things, especially pate, but when I compare my normal alcohol consumption to the 4 glasses I've had since falling pregnant whilst I understand that not drinking would be much better I am not going to lose sleep over the small amount I have had, some things are easier to avoid than others...

On the subject of caffeine I believe the guideline is no more than 200mg, I've managed to cut down to about 100, (from what I believe to be much closer to about 500 before we started trying) and will try to keep it there as best I can until I've had baby and stopped breast feeding / expressing (DD was a nightmare if I drank too much when giving her breastmilk), I've had to ban cola and pepsi from the house to do it though.

hiding have you tried ginger ducks and runs for cover the next person who tells me to try ginger is going to get a fresh piece up their behind! I've cut out meat and that's actually really helped with my morning sickness, and I've all but cut out what little dairy I was consuming (trying to keep up with the pregnecare for the calcium) I've finally managed to stop taking the sickness tablets, though I'm still crying them round like a safety blanket just in case.

I like lime and soda or elderflower and soda if they have it ChickenMe.

I feel the same upduffedsecret, I have two boys 7 and 4 and a dss 13.

It's actually easy Hidingthefear, I found mine didn't really wake enough to get enough milk which is probably why it didn't work for us but also that it seemed to disrupt their sleep pattern from about 1am onwards :(

Toxoplasmosis is one that I find daft as almost everyone has been exposed to it as a child and so has immunity. I used to work with a French guy and his wife was tested when pregnant whereas here, other than cat poo it's not mentioned.

My Dh is very much of the opinion that people have always drunk more than we do now and chooses to ignore the fact that people also died younger .

You each make your decisions, I have to say I feel very sad when I see pregnant ladies smoking and I do judge as its their child who has no say over it that has to cope with the consequences their whole lives so I suppose you could say for that for anything you chose to have while pregnant. I don't drink normally so giving up alcohol is not a problem, don't like smelly feet cheeses or steak, I like pate but not that fussed and prefer my eggs scrambled. If someone said bread was banned I would struggle a lot more! But as with everything until you are in someone else's life you don't know how they are coping or what it means to them to do or not do something.

The rules on caffeine where much more relaxed with my ds's and so I don't worry so much. I get annoyed at the it was ok in my day stories as things change as we're more educated but I also feel a bit like my boys are fine and I drank 3-4 cups of tea a day so this one will be fine so know I'm doing the same!!