Old bird graduates, gather round....let's talk chicklets!

[Gingerbreadlady1]

For the old bird thread graduates and any other slightly older mums to be, please join us. We're a friendly bunch.

Hello newbies ! Hady gender scan today my early Xmas present to myself yay, we are having a girl, I was sure it was a boy, I would have bet money on it in fact, so am in a bit of shock I think, saw her cute little feet and all looks as it should be, she can share a room with her big sister so works out better in that sense, 5 scans but don't yet feel pregnant can't wait to feel movement grr at a bloody anterior placenta

Congratulations,Snooky, and thanks for the welcome!

Welcome newbies! My DD is 4 too, she'll be 5 +2 months when I have bean. There are 3 of us in my daughters reception class who are upduffed ATM ( they don't know I am yet).

Ooh, I'm so finding out what I'm having; me no likey surprises either. We have booked a scan at 16 weeks for reassurance & to find out gender. Would like a girl, but at this age as long as everything is ok, baby is healthy & I don't get too ill during & after pregnancy, then I'm not arsed. Still want to know tho :)
(I've kept all DD's many (car boot sale, not full price) dresses in case I have a girl)

Congrats snooky!

How long did u bf for freedom? I was about to get my own C5 TV prog when I finally got DD off the boob ;)

Thanks, Hexy.

Less long than we (DS and me) would have liked - just under two years. He was a real milk guzzler, and I found it effortless. But I was 38 (and a half!) and desperate for number two, so encouraged him off. I'll feed the new one for as long as possible - happily til she's four or so. I was really sad I didn't take DS to his full self-weaned age, but he had a good innings I guess, and more important for us was that he had a sibling. Maybe it would have happened if I'd carried on BFing him, but it does reduce your chances of another child, and with my age, I just didn't want to risk it.
What about you?

Hello cluckers

bingo I'm not sure about riding still. I have 3, one retired and one pretty much retired but safe that I could potter about on. The main riding horse is a total prat - won't go out on his own (well, he Will but its not enjoyable....) so he may well have to have a year off.

clearly and oneginger

Stupid phone...
clearly & ginger I'm glad I'm not the only 'old' first timer!!

Thanks for the info on food and drink. No wine. Sigh. I am not sure about dizzy drinks? I usually drink several coffees and a couple of teas a day. Have been cutting down, one tea and one coffee today so far. I like lemon and ginger tea though so hope that is ok.

Doctors tomorrow, might have to go into town a buy a book or five after. Any recommendations for an idiots guide to pregnancy?

Hello everyone! (big waves!)

Haven't been on here for weeks! Work has been crazy (I don't work a 9-5) and I have hospital appts coming out of of my ears! At work at the mo so can't stop but I'm scheduling some time at the weekend to sit down and catch up :)

Add me to the stats!

Inshock73, 41 (will be 42) baby no.1, EDD 14 April (but now graduated from the 'High risk pregnancy due to maternal age' category in to the 'High risk pregnancy sue to maternal age, high risk of pre eclampsia, restricted blood flow to uterus and high risk of pre term baby' category! :) I don't do things by half :)

Hope everyone is well! xx

Hi inshock' long time no see! At least u r getting good care, hope all goes well. Xxx

Freedom, I bf till 3 years, 2 months, but sprogs are big by then to manage & she had no concept that getting my nooks out in public was a no no, thus did, frequently . Probably won't go as long this time, tho I did love the connection to my child it gave me, and is sooooooooooooooooooooooo very much easier to placate them when grizzly, esp at night as she co-slept in a snuggle nest for first year. Fx it works this time.

In shock - eeekkk !! Think that covers it really, least they can look after you and prepare you should anything happen.
I never got the hang of BF with my youngest, didn't do it at all with my 2 oldest, find it doesn't come naturally for me, don't really feel comfortable with my chest tbh and didn't find it easy or comfortable physically or mentally, is that weird ? I will give it a go of course because it's best for baby, so will definatly welcome tips and advice.

inshock73 41 (will be 42), baby no 1,edd 14 April 2015
FreedomHuntress 40, (may be 41 by birth), edd 27 April 2015. Girl. DS is four.
gingerbreadlady 38, baby no.1, edd 18th May 2015
snooky17 40, edd 18th May 2015
stubbornstains 40 (will be 41) ,baby no.2, edd 31st May 2015.
hexyqueen 42, baby no.2, edd 8th June, ELCS booked for 1st June.
clearlyopaque 39, baby no.1, edd 9th June 2015
bingobonkers 39, baby no.3, edd 21st June 2015 (summer solstice, nice!)
tranquilitybaby 36, baby no. 3. edd 23 June 2015
overtiredbackagain 40 (will be 41), baby no.3, edd 7th July
probablyme 40, baby no. 5, edd 12th July
supersupershock 42, baby no.2, edd 15th July 2015
nottalotta 37, baby no.1, edd 5th August 2015
clearlyopaque 39, baby no.1, edd 9th June 2015

So glad you came back inshock, it's good to hear from you! But, oh my goodness, sorry to hear you're having such a worrying pregnancy. How do they know about the pre-eclampsia risk;- is your blood pressure weirding out already? How serious is the blood flow thing- are you having to be monitored all the time? I think last time you posted, there was a bit of a worry about the baby having enlarged kidneys- did that prove to be a false alarm?

(sends virtual Valium )

InShock that's some list! The positive about this is that they're already aware of all this possible issues and you will get the necessary care and observations which will be reassuring.

This pregnancy lark is hardcore.

Hope all the other Old Birds are doing ok.

One week to go for my results. Bit weepy yesterday. Must be the hormones. DH days we shouldn't have had the tests as has turned me upside down and would have been better to not know.

Nice to hear from you inshock, hope you're getting good care.

bingo the wait is harsh, I'd be in pieces too, it will all be fine though, statistics are massively on your side!

I've been having a wobble too, my biggest fear is what kind of mum I'm going to be, how the baby & I will bond. It's only since I met dp that I wanted kids so not exactly the maternal type. Then I found I lost my 12 wk scan so felt this was a bad sign. Very upset. So we booked a 16 wk gender scan for today so we can get another pic. Anyhoo, found my scan pics today so much much happier!

Tonight we'll know gender, scary!

Sorry, me me me, how's everyone today?

Ah you know ginger, whatever kind of mum you'll be, you'll be a good mum. Obviously there are bad mums- I think you have a line of work that brings you into contact with some?- but that's not what we're talking about at all....

I consider myself to be a fairly terrible mother tbh (I can be very shouty and impatient, and Could. Not. Do. SAHMing, but DS still loves me loads). I think kids are mercifully very forgiving of our foibles!

(I also lost both of DS's scan pics, and never found them again (strong suspicion toxic ex may have stolen them)).

Ooh, exciting, wonder what gingerbaby's going to be? It's looking like all girls so far....

Hi Hexy, Snooky, Stubborn, Bingo and Ginger

I've been naughty today, skived a day off work and blamed the pregnancy. I have an hour and a half commute each way everyday and a boss that is driving me mad. I've booked all my consultant, midwife and scan appts for first thing in the morning and now my boss has asked me to rearrange all appts for the end of the day as they're causing me to spend too much time out of the office and if they run late, which they always do, it will be in my time and not work time! Just to add to my stress, I'm on a contract rather than in a permanent position (first time in my career, great timing or what?!) so no maternity leave or pay for me. There had been talk of extending my contract but I've now been told I will have to reapply for the position along with external candidates, I'm convinced it's because I'm pregnant and they don't want me back post baby.

Stubborn The little kidney problem continues, I just forget to mention it :) Since my last post which I think was after my 12 week scan, I was booked in for a 16 week scan and appt with a consultant specifically to monitor the kidneys, scan showed kidneys were still bigger than expected and they were picked up on again at my 20 week anomaly scan. At the moment kidneys are the top end of normal (6.5mm and 5.5mm and to be normal they need to be under 7mm, ideally under 5mm) so they're still being monitored. DP asked the consultant what the worst case scenario would be and we were both left in shock when she said the baby can be born with kidneys that aren't functioning properly but they would prohibit the lungs from developing properly so baby would die at birth! She did try to reassure us that was very unlikely to happen.

In a weird way the kidney situation has been eclipsed because at my 20 week scan the baby was found to be a little below the average percentile in size so the sonographer checked the blood flow to my uterus and found it is restricted, in her words my body is having to work hard to keep the blood flowing to the uterus, so I've been put on baby aspirin (one a day) and been told this moves me in to a higher risk of pre eclampsia which in turn means a higher risk of a prem baby.

I had a midwife appt the day after my 20 week scan and barely managed to say hello before crying for the next ten minutes. Then I was worried she would add 'High risk of depression' to the list :)

Have to admit the care I'm receiving has been incredible, I really can't fault the NHS. I'm having consultant led care and my consultant now wants to see me every four weeks so I'm closely monitored and my midwife also wants to see me every four weeks so I never go more than two weeks without seeing someone. I'm finding this reassuring but wondering at the same time if my laid back positive outlook on life means I'm not completely grasping how high risk I am :)

Aside from all of the above I'm doing great! No morning sickness, tiredness, food aversions or cravings, in fact if it wasn't for the occasional day where i cry at everything I still don't feel pregnant! I have a tiny bump now but that's all.

Oh god my post is so long I'm going to shut up now :)

I'm back again :) just had to comment on a couple of things.

Bingo fingers crossed everything comes back ok for you xx If it's any consolation random days spent being over emotional and crying at everything seems to be my only symptom so far. Midwife said hormones are all over the place at this stage of pregnancy so it's perfectly normal and just ride it out.

Ginger Very excited for you, update us later! xx Don't worry about what kind of a parent you'll be and stay strong when people say insensitive things to you which make you doubt yourself. We told DP parents last night, we've kept pregnancy a secret up until now because of all the stuff going on, and I was shocked at some of the insensitive comments we received. They were both excited, but his mum suffers with foot in mouth disease anyway and was quick to tell me I'll have to stop wearing high heels now I'm pregnant (no I won't!) and having a baby will age me and there will be lots of things we can't do anymore now. She finished off by saying "now you've told us I can see you've gained weight". I've actually gained 1 lbs! I told her that so she replied with "you'll probably be huge at the end"

Your MIL sounds like a bit of a gem inshock..... Better start thinking of some witty comebacks for all of the "helpful" comments she's bound to come out with re: childrearing......

(Blimey, only put on a lb? Congrats! I'd put on a stone at 13 weeks ).

Sorry that work aren't being unsupportive- looks like your boss might be sailing close to the wind in terms of legality with the appointment comments? But I'm not an expert.....

So glad that you're having lots of consultant/ midwife appts to monitor/ reassure you.....it sounds that, although there are worries, and you're high risk, there's also a very good chance of everything turning out fine, with no problems at all. .

aren't being supportive, I meant.

Thanks ladies, stubborn, we sound similar, I'm much more shouts than dp with the pup, patience is not my strong point! My work def brings me into contact with the worst of humanity, I see all sorts, but I'm certainly not in the caring profession. I'd love to know what everyone does, stubborn I'm thinking creative type, inshock lawyer something similar

inshock you can ask to have apt moved but if they cant, I'm sure you're entitled to go in work time. But sod your boss, esp if you think they've already decided you won't be back. I'd explain this to the midwife, change a token few & keep the rest as is.

You're mil sounds lovely lol! Mine has made a couple of off hand comments that I've let slide but she's used up her spare lives, I'll be putting her right from now on. She was fine before, they're reaction has been underwhelming so far!

Anyone care to guess gender before scan?

I think you're having a girl Ginger :)

I wish I was a lawyer, I'm an events manager :) Ginger prison officer or in the police force?

MIL has gone on and on about wanting a grandchild but like yours Ginger seemed remarkably underwhelmed last night. DP jokingly said to her "you've always wanted a grandchild so if you want to help with the childcare a day or two each week that would be great" and she immediately said no! I was really shocked I thought she'd grab the opportunity with both hands.

I'm dreading the conversations on the horizon with MIL, Last night she asked whether I'm planning on a hospital or a home birth and when I said a c-section I got the most disapproving look. I told her I might have to have a c-section for medical reasons if they need to get baby out quickly. She then followed that one up by stating, not asking stating "you are going to take some time off work aren't you?" I told her I hope to but I do plan to go back to work full time as we need both incomes and I'm not prepared to have sleepless nights over financial worries (been there done that!) DP (her son!) is self employed so his work/income is unstable and can be irregular and I'm far too old and independent to not earn my own money. That was also met with a disapproving look. We've disagreed in the past on all this kind of stuff. She’s expecting me to give up my career, be a stay at home mum for at least five years and then work part time so I can make sure dinner is on the table at 6pm every night. It’s 2014 not 1944! She doesn’t seem to realise life is so different and financially so much harder than when she had children 30 odd years ago. I’m 41, have a career, have always earned my own money which is something that was instilled in me in my last relationship with someone whose income was double mine but insisted all bills being split down the middle. Grrrr!

Stubborn so far hospital is happy with my 1lbs but I suspect they're going to start questioning me about my diet before long. Have you increased your calorie intake?

It may be less stressful for someone (read dp) to have a wee chat at this early stage to set her right. You really really don't need anymore stress.

It's odd, my dp is an only child therefore this is their first, & likely last, grandchild. We thought they'd be so excited, seriously they were considerably more excited by the dog, I'm not joking! We'll see how it goes, sure they'll be chuffed when little one comes but if not, this is for us. Our family, so would be lovely if things improve but if not it's not the end of the world.

Close on job but I can't say, events manager must be stressful, & no booze to off set it all!

Except.......

Actually, if someone was having a baby in 1944, they might well be a war widow or engaged in essential work, and be encouraged to return to work ASAP, and there were 24 hour state funded nurseries!!!! so that women could do shift work. And then all then men came back from the front, and we all know what happened, didn't we? .

But really, I think this is where Mumsnet is at its utmost best- providing you with tactics to deal with annoying MILs- there's a wealth of advice on the subject!

I'm worried I might have the opposite IL problem- apparently DP's dad burst into tears when DP told him, and we're meeting them for lunch tomorrow. I don't know him that well, so I won't know where to look if he starts crying . Bless. First (and probably only) grandchild for him, too....

Blimey ginger, that is a beautifully clear picture of baby's face! You can see just what it looks like already. I'm going to take the opposite stance from inshock and say boy (just to play devil's advocate, really). Have you decided not to find out, inshock?

Yes, I do do something creative ginger- think painty/graphic design, but applied rather than fine art. Sitting here all covered in paint right now.

Yes, my calorie intake has indeed gone up alarmingly!!!! Unfortunately I am naturally greedy, so with an excuse to take the brakes off..... I have made efforts to calm down a bit since I got weighed, and I've started going swimming again. But having said that, it's 2 hours since lunch, and I'm already hungry again .

I could do with a huge glass of wine right now Ginger :) Had an event this week with free flowing champagne....willpower really had a workout :) I'm fascinated at how different your scan picture is to mine. We're going for the wait and see option but whichever you're having I reckon mine is the other.

Says it all Stubborn we were to some degree better off in 1944! Been looking at childcare costs today and truly mortified, had no idea how expensive it is. I don't have much an appetite at the moment but I guess that could be thanks to stress.