Old bird graduates, gather round....let's talk chicklets!

[Gingerbreadlady1]

For the old bird thread graduates and any other slightly older mums to be, please join us. We're a friendly bunch.

Ginger I'm going to guess a girl, not good at guessing but least have got a 50% chance of being right.
Sorry to hear MILs are not being that supportive, mine is lovely infact is a better mum to me than my own is however the ex MIL eek however get on better with her now they are a strange breed.

Oh fuck. All this talk of MILs reminded me I have one.... Please God don't tell me I have to see the witch!? DP would rather chew his own foot off than see her, but Step son (who sees her regularly) will tell her straight away so no doubt we will be summonsed for Xmas. Bollocks.

We are going to tell kids tonight (eek). DD, 4, will be beyond thrilled. Dunno how DSS, 17, will take it, esp when he works out it will be born in middle of effing A levels. Me & DP are shitting it. Then we have to tell my parents, which will mean constant checking up on me phone calls from my mum.

Hope he rest of u r doing good. Anyone fancy getting a secret/private older birds Facebook page started, like on the AN thread? All totally hidden & confidential, would be nice to put faces to user names & be a bit less cagey than on an open forum like this.

ginger, I guess a boy. Dunno why.... X

Sorry checking in, haven't been on much!

gingerbread great scan pic, so clear! Glad it went well. I guess from the skull shape (but what do I know?!) are you finding out? Can't believe this time next week, if all goes well, I'll know at 12+3 if we're having a little boy or girl! Never found out before bit I'm actually quite excited to know. Need it to help me bond this time, it's been a hard year.

inshock hello! Good to hear from you. Sounds like you're getting excellent care. Hope everything settles down soon so it's not a constant worry for you. X

Urgh Inlaws yes, I have those too! Things are going to be very different this time round. They will not be just dropping in whenever they feel like it (not phoning beforehand either) aargh.

Hexy I'm not on the AN FB group yet. I'm waiting for my results. Depending on the results I would like to join.

I'm totally paranoid about being outed on here. Dunno why.

I might be up for a FB page...although you might still never find out what I look like- I don't like photos of me, and so my profile pic is a very "interesting" and "creative" owl that DS made .

Me too stubborn, only an old piece of art for my profile pix. No public photos on FB either, tho a few on various private pages. Just thought it might be nice for us older mums to have a page just for us.

I had my first scan today - had an early scan as was feeling worried. Shows I'm actually 6+6 and I thought I was 8. Ah well! The main this was a strong heartbeat and all in teh right place. The relief for me is ridiculous. I mean I know things can still go wrong but that was £50 well spent!

Glad you got some reassurance super. I am getting concerned that GP said I wouldn't be seen before 12 wks. Not sure what to do about it though, its all new to me.

I have bedtime nausea. Had a headache all day (caffeine withdrawal?!) so decided on an early night. Laid down, felt sick.

Glad your scan went well super xx

Inshock, eek, that sounds like a lot of high risk. At least we are just more aware these days and they can look after you.

snooky, my advice for successful BFing would be to find some good local support, and keep at them for support until you crack it.

Hexy, surely you just don't have to see MIL, if your DP isn't bothered either? I am nc with my own mother, feels liberating.
How did DSS take your news?

sss, glad you saw the heartbeat, sorry you are a week behind though.

Ginger, sorry, an useless at detecting nub or anything, I don't actually think you can tell! I'll guess girl though, for absolutely no reason!
Sorry

stubborn, that is adorable re FIL bursting into tears! Aw!

Notta, hope you feel better soon.

Just done our London Xmas weekend with DS - did Hyde Park Winter Wonderland, then Oxford St/Regent St etc lights and shop window displays, and Harrods shop windows (over two days, so relatively relaxed). Thought he'd be delighted with the feel of Xmas in the air, sparkling lights, brass bands playing Xmas carols - his favourite parts were the Tube, and the bus ride. Oh well.
Winchester Cathedral Xmas market today - favourite bit - his supper at Pizza Express.
Peppa Pig World tomorrow - he'd better like that!

Bingo, I don't want to be outed either! So whilst I like the idea of getting to know you all better via Fb, what if I know one of you already! We are keeping a low profile with this pregnancy, I am enjoying just being more private about it. And we are not telling anyone we know the gender, but I have said on here she's a girl!

Notta - my first scan would be at 12 weeks and i had just got myself so worried about various things that decided to do private scan. I was lucky to get it for £50 which tbh I can't really afford but the peace of mind for me is money well spent. My NHS 12 week scan will be around 8 Jan so long time to wait for that. Maybe speak to MW if you feeling worried?

Freedom - where on earth do you get your energy from?!?! Can't remember off hand how many weeks you are but for me, going on an hours beach walk means I need a sleep... and I was quite fit!

Anyone joined or going to join NCT?

OldBirds, got my Harmony results today. Few days early. Results are good. Gone from 1:265 to ten thousand and for all three tris. So emotional right now.

As have said on my AN bus just hope that the nasal bone pitches up and is nothing to worry about.

Hi Tranquility welcome back.

Pleased all is healthy for you Super

Notta my 'booking in' appointment wasn't until 14 weeks because the community midwife at my Dr's surgery has so many patients she's booked up weeks in advance, try not to worry it really doesn't make any difference. I had horrendous caffeine withdrawal headache for about a week, hope you feel better soon.

Freedom A lot of high risk and a lot of hospital appointments :) Spent another 3 hours at the hospital today and my next batch of appts will see me there on the 23 and 24 Dec and then the 5 and 8 January, it's a full time occupation! :)

Bingo Congratulations! Really happy for you :)

Super I've just enquired about joining an NCT group. I wasn't going to but then I started to think and I realised I literally don't have anyone in my family or friends who is either pregnant or has a baby. Unless I plan on having a lot of alone time with baby I think I need to get proactive and meet new people.

What's everyones plans on returning to work? I'm still reeling from the MIL comments at the weekend and the disapproval of my plans to return to work? Is it really that unusual in this day and age?

Bingo happy for you :)

InShock sorry must have missed your thing re MIL, is this your first baby? I am planning to delay working for as long as I possibly can! Want to enjoy this baby as last time round (11 years ago) had a lot of stress, worries and stuff going on and felt missed out on just enjoying. I am going to join NCT - it really is nice to have friends with babies too, I have a couple but the more the merrier! Particularly as on my own - need some adult company!

NCT or a GP based post natal course is really important. Not necessarily for what you will learn as all the information is available online/in books but for that import at network of support from other new parents going through exactly what you are going through at exactly the same time iyswim.

Think we can start telling people now.....

Bingo so happy for you !!
Will have a catch up later got the grumps today think an early night is in order hope everyone is ok x

It is my first baby Super. I'm quite freaked out by it all this week. I ventured in to Mothercare yesterday and left within about 3 mins :) all feels so alien to me. I'm now starting to freak out about whether I'm going to make the adjustment or not and DP even mentioned he thinks I should allow myself time before going back to work in case I get PND!

I was thinking the same "Bingo". We've now told both sets of parents which was quite amusing because I'm already 21 weeks and they seem to be shifting from total shock, to excitement to now being offended we waited so long to tell them.

I need some advice everyone - how do I deal with everyones unwelcome and unwanted advice? MIL is telling me I need to eat for two, which was the advice she was given 30 odd years ago but not the advice you're given these days. My parents and in laws are already being overbearing and have told me my daily commute is too long/hard now and my job too stressful. They'll have a fit when we tell them we're off on holiday for two weeks over the new year - abroad!

On the subject of in-laws, my MIL seems to have an opinion on everything from when I should (or shouldn't) return to work, breastfeeding, birth choice, how much I should be eating and how much weight I should be gaining (she gained over 3 stone with each pregnancy), my daily commute and job, my exercise routine - I walk a lot and go to the gym which she thinks I shouldn't be doing now, I want to scream! DP and I have been together for 6 years and in 6 years I've never allowed my in-laws to interfere, now I'm pregnant it seems to be like I've opened the gate and invite everyone to interfere! Does anyone feel the same or have the same problem?

I sympathise inshock, mine doesn't even know yet and tbh I'm not looking forward to telling Inlaws as they will go from uninterested now my two are older, to thinking they can pop round whoever they like. They drive me insane and I'm not putting up with it like I did 10 tears ago when I had DS.

*years

I really must be very lucky with my in laws they live next door but never just pop in, and very rarely interfere, my mum and all my family live at least 45 mins away from me and most don't drive so safe in that respect too, if a bit lonely.

super, I don't know - I have a four yo DS so I just have to have energy, whether I actually have any or not! I'm 20 weeks.

Bingo, congratulations on the good Harmony results. Hurrah!

Inshock, sounds like a hectic load of appointments. Worth it, though!

I'm already a sahm, which I know MIL approves of. We also home ed (I suppose not officially yet, as DS is only four), so that's kind of a job, on top of being a sahm.

Inshock, re 'advice', I think it depends. Some you can nod and smile at, some I'd say "thanks, I'll look into it", others I'd say "actually, current research says this and that, so we're ok, thanks." One reason I am nc with my own mother though is her overbearing way with 'advice', and incessant nagging/criticism, despite all her advice being thoroughly out of date vs my current data. Tell me something once, so I am aware, if I wasn't already, fine. Keep on and on, especially when I am adhering to NHS guidelines, and that's not ok by me. I'm too old for that shit!

I probably won't do an NCT course (£££££) but I think I'll join an antenatal Yoga class and hopefully meet some people that way. We are relatively new to the area, so I don't know loads of people. That actually suits me, as I love my own space, but for the sake of the DC, I make the effort to be a bit more social.

Oh my reply didn't post. Bum. It basically said Smile and Nod. Don't get into conversation about stuff that you don't want to eg if the advice you are being given has not been asked for. Change the subject immediately. I find that to be a very useful skill.

Freedom your HV/MW can include you on a postnatal course through your GP which Is free. If your GP doesn't offer them then a nearby surgery will. Ask your MW at your next appt.

Thanks, Bingo. The mw did mention an antenatal course, but said I might not be interested as it was mainly first timers, and I'm old enough to be their mother! Ok, she didn't exactly say it like that, but I got the impression I wouldn't meet people in the same situation as me. Not that I can't be friends with people who are 17. The Yoga seems a more likely fit. Maybe I'll ask again about the postnatal course.