April 2015 #4 - time to start glowing and growing

[BrixtonBunny]

I thought I'd start a new thread as the old one was almost full up xxx

So I have totally started looking at birth options and interventions. I figure if bump is induced I only have till 21st March to be prepared and to get DH prepared.

He was less than impressed when I was talking to him about massage oils with essential oils in and the decision I had made regarding that, but eventually grumbled an agreement when I suggested I would find another person to massage me whilst I had my fanjo hanging out if he wouldn't.

However my attempt to drill into his head why I don't want a forceps delivery rather than "I don't want one so don't let the midwife use them" has caused him to stomp off to bed in full on sulky rage mode, he doesn't understand that you can't just threaten to sue the medical staff and get your own way if something goes wrong during the delivery... I seriously am going to need my mum there... or hell his mum, just someone who is a reasonable :/

21-26 weeks to go...

oh hiding I know I know!!! Commando dad!! DH has the post birth one and enjoyed wriggling round the house on his belly looking for dangers, he's found it quite useful, they now do a pregnancy one which I have been meaning to get him and bludgeon him with till he info sticks

I got DH a copy of Fatherhood by Marcus Berkman. a good, amusing overview. it's a small paperback too so not overwhelming.

Theboomonster- men do not understand the fear of forceps cos it's not happening to them. I've lost count of the midwives and doctors that have told me they would 1- have an epidural and 2- pick c section over forceps (obviously if time allows and if it's not a dire emergency when you will do anything)

Misty, DH was given the expectant dad's survival guide whilst I was pregnant with DD - he didn't even open it. But he's very much the 'winging it' type and never reads an instruction manual so why would he do so for a new baby!

I loved my epidural last time, and still ended with EMCS

I am going to ask for a ELCS this time... natural birth is overrated... After 5 mcs I just want a baby at the end...

I tore a bit last time which was a pain as I have issues with stitches. (They like to unravel on me.) So I didn't stitch back together right, hopefully it won't tear again now it's a bit bigger than it was and baby will just slip out. I have to say I'm never having pethadine again! It just put me on another planet and I was still in pain just couldn't do anything about it. I'm pushing for a water birth this time but when I mentioned it to DH he said no your not it's not natural. I told him there is nothing natural about having a baby on your back in the hospital with your feet in stirrups! I wanted to slap him! he gets no say in how I push a baby out, he just has to hold my hand and try not to nearly pass out this time when he's handed the baby.

Welcome foxyfemke!

I think it depends on you personally kismac, I was 13wks with ds1, 16 with ds2 and 14 this time.

Definitely TheBooMonster! I will still have a birth plan despite not going to plan with the last two. Dh was rubbish! He was very much of the opinion that they were suggesting things for my benefit and so went along with it! My neighbour refused forceps with both of hers and had cs but I'm not sure id go that far.

Pethedine is hideous Lauren82000, I wouldn't have it again either! I sooooo want a water birth too, dh will support me but won't get in with me. He was a fantastic birth partner both times so I wouldn't be without him!!

How exciting Misty414! Enjoy!

Went to legoland yesterday and was lovely if knackering! On the plus side I didn't need to get up for a wee in the night as I think I was comatose!! Weirdly every time I texted dh I felt the baby move :) he started talking to it at bedtimes now which is quite funny!

Ran this morning and now just want to sleep! Luckily my kids are all leaving by 5.30 today and some going at 3 :)

I slept badly last night, i'm not used to sleeping on my side but feel guilty now it I sleep on my back.

Can anyone recommend a pregnancy pillow? Preferably one I can use if I decide (or can) breast feed afterwards.

I also don't want forceps, that is actually my worst nightmare because of the damage done to ladies who have them. Plus the baby is bruised, that's going to make them upset and grumpy. I know it's done because it has to be but there are other options!

I had the dream genii, used it in pregnancy and to wrap sound me for feeding too when I needed extra pillows.

actually haven't brought it out this time... but i am used to sleeping on my side anyway

I like the sound of a water birth. I've not even considered that I might need an intervention. Are forceps horrible? Is a CS a better option? Do you really get a say in it or will the midwife and doctor just do what is needed?

Forceps can cause a lot of damage to pelvic floor and cause quite severe perineal tears kismac but I'd still personally go for that over a cs as I couldn't cope with the recovery time of a cs and an emergency one can be very traumatic. No one will do anything without your permission when you're in labour but when you're tired, in pain and scared you quite often go along with what's suggested so it's good to have a birth partner who knows your birth plan. It's quite often more of a 'we're going to this now ok?' And if you say yes that's your permission. When it comes down to it I'm sure the main priority is to get the baby out safely and if forceps are quicker and you have a baby being deprived of oxygen then most people would go for it.

And yay Misty414, another scan is always nice :) are you happy about it being a girl? I know everyone's happy with a healthy baby but did you have preference?

Thank you everyone!! i'm off to Ebay book hunting now : )

I feel sorry for you ladies having husband troubles, sounds like some aren't exactly the most supportive for you

oh my, thinking about birthing plans already, theBooMonster saying how many weeks are left makes it seem way closer than just saying how many weeks gone you are!!! argh!

I too would like a water birth Lauren8200 although it sounds like everything has to be kinda perfect to achieve one. Apparently it can reduce the risk of tearing, so too can being on your knees rather than your back. And scientifically/biologically were designed to deliver knelt up and not on our backs.

we are the most unlucky animals in the animal kingdom!! (and the most poorly designed)

Siarie I have the dream genie pillow I got it from TK maxx it is the best £24.99 I have spent. It has a long pillow you put in between your legs and a smaller pillow that goes behind your back to prevent you from rolling over onto your back.

A lady who knows my mum has knit some cardigans but if the baby comes out and fits one of them I will need a crane never mind forceps it looks like it would fit a 2 year old

In other news my boobs are mahoosive! DH has Nick named me Jordan. I have always had small 32B boobs bought a 32DD bra last night and they feel so much better.

Matalan also do maternity wear in store and online, not a lot of choice but feels and looks ok.

Aww Misty, that's lovely news. Hopefully, you get some good pictures next time.

Thanks Cinnamon, I'll make sure to prep the hubby!

I said it before and will say it again... girls are not all rainbows and kittens... my nearly 3yo can fart and burp with the best of men and likes playing bottomball (a game she made up)

sigh

Congratulations Misty! So exciting to find out. Who will have the first boy?

haha TinyTear made me chuckle, not sure if i want to know the rules to bottomball