May 2015: Thread 3 - Let's do this :)

[plinkyplonks]

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2166619-May-2015-Hello-Anyone-out-there?

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/2188580-May-2015-Thread-2-Let-the-sickness-begin

Stats: docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0Ajyv-zM-ASvUdHg4TVk1ZmlZbGk5RWJsVklicE80X3c&usp=sharing

[post edited by MNHQ]

Ladies! I'm having a minor crisis!

So like I said I wasn't sure on dates and what not so provisionally placed myself at about 10 weeks from what we were guessing at.

Well, while feeling like death I've had some extra time on my hands to look back at the calender and have a proper good think. Now I'm thinking I could be as far as 14 weeks. Cue panic! This will mean I've missed all the time slots for the tests they can do at the 12 weeks scan! How bad is that? I know some people don't find out till late etc but is there any tests they could do now?

Hi lumpyparcel - have you seen GP/midwife yet? If not, I guess make that a priority and ask their advice. I'm sure they can fit people in for scans etc pretty quickly if need be. Good luck!

I know if you miss the cut off for the usual downs' test you can do a "quad test" based on bloods only, up to about 16 weeks. Do you have a date for your scan?

I'm currently waiting for my scan date. Should I ring the midwife on Monday and let her know I could be further on?

I'm a very sneaky person so feel free to ignore this! But how certain are you that you are definitely over 14 weeks? You can have the combined scan at up to 13+6. So ... if you were to phone your midwife and say, I really need a scan this week because I am 13 weeks and would like the combined scan done.. maybe they can get something organised for you. That way, if you're in week 11-13+6 you'll have a combined screening as normal, if you are over that they can offer you the quad test. If you strongly suspect you are 14 weeks plus then just explain it to the midwife who will probably offer you the quad test.

Really depends on how certain you are or whether you think it's a certainty you are over 14 weeks.. a few days makes a difference on what choices you are offered x

I won't be having the nuchal screening done as it wouldn't change how I would progress. I didn't have it last time and to be honest with age risk factors (I was just over 30) I think my risk would have been moderately high and it would have worried me for what turned out to be nothing.
I can understand wanting to be prepared but I wouldn't risk an amino so I think it would be pointless for me.
I'm going to call my gp surgery tomorrow and if they haven't sorted it I will contact one to one midwives and hope they can take over my case.
Has anyone thought about birth yet? Last time I had a section for my medical reasons but it really hindered breastfeeding because my milk took over 5 days to come in. Although it's safer for me to have a section this time I'm leaning towards home birth. I know I'd be more relaxed as I have spent so many months in hospital feeling stressed over the last few years I'd never relax in that environment. I think without feeling relaxed I'd end up with interventions that may end up in forceps or a section anyway.
I will probably have to really fight my corner but hopefully they will agree.
I'm willing to have to transfer for complications but I'd really like to give home birth a go.
Has anyone had a home birth and it been sucessful?

Fluffeh, I was speaking to my midwife other week about water birth as id really love one, but with all 3 of mine its been refused, first because I was induced, which ended up with me in HDU, and second because of the complications with ds1, I had to have cannulars fitted in and be monitored, then ds3 because of the probs with ds1 again and secondly because a very early swab picked up GSB even the the subsequent 4 swabs at different stages after was totally negative, so throught his labour again I was fitted with a cannular, hooked up to i.v antibiotics just incase, and hooked up to the monitor, laid on the bed the whole time I was in hospital. So this time shes said my last 2 births no problems occured, so I can speak to the consultants about a waterbirth but I may really have to fight my corner x

I'm having an ELCS for medical and MH reasons, my consultant is booking it in the diary when I see her in December.

I'm umming and ahhing over breastfeeding, I've had this natural urge to breastfeed all of my 3 so far (although with DS1 he was too poorly/uninterested) but despite that, I have had found it made PND so much worse because I felt so much pressure being the only one that could feed, I'm worried if I do it will be the same as that but if I don't I'd regret it or feel guilty.
I'd like to think I could do it for a week or two then stop but I know it's not always that easy.

Mum - I hope you get the water birth.
Tits - I found it so hard in the beginning but I'm still feeding dd now and it's so lovely to have the quiet cuddles with her. I wanted to quit in the first few days but battled through with lots of support from dp while others just wanted me to swap to formula. I think bfing is such a personal choice and has so many different struggles that any time at all you can bf for is amazing.
but mainly, as long as baby is fed and growing that's all that matters x

I want to breastfeed but doubt its going to happen, ds1 was bottle as I was too ill to breastfeed when he was born, ds2 was breastfed for the first 2wks but he was a 9ib very hungry baby and would be on an hour at a time to which I couldnt sort ds1 out and ds3 was breastfed for first 2wks also but he has tounge tie and lip tie so latching was a struggle and he was loosing weight so had to go to formula feeding. Im currently at, college so wont really beable to have any time off when babys born as our exams are in june so it would be more ideal to bottle feed as there dad will be looking after them while im at college in the evening. But there is always mixed feeding I suppose x

Fluffeh I hope you get the birth you want too :) xx

I was really precious about breastfeeding last time. Though I think a lot of that was about its calorie burning effects and I had a lot of weight to lose!

This time I will be less so. I was ready interesting stuff about how, in the long run, there are basically no differences in the outcome. Most the research doesn't take into account that the women who chose to breastfeed generally have better outcomes anyway- have higher income, higher levels of education, which has direct bearing on outcomes such as nutritional choices etc.

If you look at research on siblings where one is BF and one is FF then there is no difference in the long term.

I'd still do it but I'm not going to die in a ditch about it!

bradders I think Next do maternity work trousers online. Although I haven't looked in a while

I breastfed for 11 months last time. I found it hard work but easy once you got the hang of it. I met 19 women when I had my son and 18 of us bf til at least 6 months so it's very much the norm in my circles.

I'm a bit more reluctant this time as I know how tying it is. I'd like to get my life back earlier and be me again and I didn't feel that til I stopped feeding.

My current plan is bf for 12 weeks then switch to bottle. I'm going to introduce a bottle feed in the evening at 8 weeks.

We are going abroad on holiday when the baby will be 4 months and I don't want to be having to bf in front of people at the pool. I want us all to enjoy our holiday and hopefully be getting some sleep by that point. Maybe selfish but we are a family unit now not just one child and we need to think of his needs too.

It is incredibly useful for a first timer like me to be reading about all your past experiences and plans, thank you! Being the youngest in both our families, I've seen what the pressure of having a "perfect" birth, breast feeding etc. has done to my sister and sisters in law, so as much as I can, without counting the evil that hormones can do, will try and 'go with the flow'. With all your help, of course!!!

I wondered into JoJo Mamon Bebe don't know how that happened, Hee Hee! yesterday and was able to try on their Bump Bandeau and it made such a difference to the comfort around my belly! Obviously don't need maternity-wear yet but my little hairy 12 week bump can survive in my normal trousers/jeans/skirts for just that little bit longer! Highly recommend them

Hello everyone. Feel a bit like I might be jinxing things posting here but it popped up in active convos and the title caught by eye as dd is a massive octonauts fan. I only just managed to jump on to this bus as it was pulling away as my edd is 30 may so I am 8 weeks. I have one dd but have been ttc dc2 for over 18 months and have had 3 miscarriages. This is the furthest I have got since dd and I had a scan last week that showed so far so good. I have another on weds. So here's hoping I will continue this journey with you. Best wishes everyone.

Hi ladies, I'm also grateful to read all your bf comments and experiences. If I'm honest it doesn't appeal to me in the slightest (I hope no one gasps on horror) I may feel differently when baby arrives and if so wouldn't definitely give it a go, but currently I can't imagine me doing it. Even though at my first midwife appointment she made it sound compulsory as if I had to choose bf. I know it's there job to encourage bit I personally feel she should of asked me what I was thinking first?

I hope u ladies wanting your home and water births get them, again midwife was encouraging me to consider home birth and as it's my first I want to be in the hospital just in case!

I had a quite specific birth plan for DD, but with the caveat in every paragraph 'unless my baby is at risk' and told my midwife that although my birth plan was my preference, if I changed my mind or absolutely needed intervention I wasn't going to stop them :) I honestly believe because I went into the whole thing so relaxed with a what will be, will be attitude it made it a very good experience for us.

Wrt bf I wanted to and I tried immensely hard, but DD had an op at 5 days old for a severe tongue and lip tie, which hindered us significantly and at 7 days she just couldn't figure out how to latch so I expressed when she was asleep, fed by bottle when she was awake and drove us both into a stressful day or two, so DH just upped and got some formula and all of a sudden she could be in the same room as me without screaming the house down! It didn't work out for us, but she's flipping bright as a button as bar the odd snotty nose, never ill so totally the right decision for us :)

Hello and welcome longest!! Pleasure to have you join and so pleased this baby is doing so well!

Sunshine-I will always have in the back of my mind that I am adopted and was never breast fed-even the colostrum. I am not overweight (size 8-10 pre baby) no food allergies, no more illnesses than normal etc. so I know as long as baby is fed, that's ultimately what matters
I told all of this at my booking in appointment and said I would try but not pressure myself and all the midwife wrote down was, "intends to breast feed". I just smiled to myself and left it at that!

I'm not even entertaining thinking about a birth plan because I'm so stressed about it. I'm quite honestly petrified at the idea. I'm talking to my midwife about it at the next appt because I need to calm down about it!

I really want to breastfeed but I understand it can be up to the baby sometimes so I won't be upset if it doesn't happen and will probably get some bottles in just in case anyway although the idea of pumping does not fill me with excitement lol. :)

Thanks kitty and wave to tori. On breastfeeding, I breastfed dd and got on fine with it but am not evangelical about it. I found bottles a faff too and dd refused them so for me it was easier to bf but I felt very ready to stop when I did, after which dd finally started sleeping properly! I went back to work at 8 months so I cut out day feeds just before that but carried on night feeding till she was just over 1.

Gosh, feeling quite sick as I type this which is quite novel for me so am hoping it's a good sign.

Yes, I found pumping grim lumpy and dd always rejected my lovingly pumped bottles anyway but a friend pumped every feed for 8 months after her baby refused to feed for which she deserves a medal. A lot of problems with feeding seem to come down to tongue tie which is very common and easily rectified but notoriously difficult to diagnose it seems.

Don't worry too much about the birth. For me it remained kind of remote and abstract right up until the day itself and still feels a bit like that in retrospect.i was fortunate to have no real complications though.

Lumpy is this your first? All I can say is I found talking every eventuality through with DH and knowing about every option helped me to be calm as I knew what would happen for most circumstances and ended up feeling prepared. It's early days yet though and I didn't really have mine prepped until 32 weeks last time :)

I ended up labouring quickly (too quickly for pain relief) which was fine and I had such a positive experience :) do talk it through with anyone and everyone you feel comfortable with as I really think it helps!