Tiptoeing into the Second Trimester... Due April 2015

[HippoPottyMouth]

Ooh just seen there is a June 2015 thread now. Makes us seem like old hands

Ugh going to bed feeling seriously sick. What's this all about! As if waking up sick wasn't bad enough. How you peeps have got through the last few months with serious sickness I don't know. You have my full sympathy. I'm having bouts of feeling sick and it's bad enough. Mine seems to be getting worse not better.

Had a consultant appointment today due to a previous illness. There's a very small chance it might effect the baby but on the plus side I get 4 extra scans so get to see my baby a bit more and a close eye will be kept on it. Feeling more positive than worried.

Mega jealous of those of you with decent maternity packages... I work in retail and only get stat..so 6 weeks at 90% then £140 odd a week or whatever it is. I have no idea how we'll manage!

lady I also work in retail, and because I'm on minimum wage doing only 16 hours a week looks like I won't even be entitled to SMP and will have to get maternity allowance unimpressed face wish I'd looked into that a bit closer before I switched from the 20 hour contract earlier in the year >.> This has definitely prompted me to get my ass into gear, I'm finding a decent job in a decent sector somehow before I have to go back to that place after maternity leave >.>

I just get stat pay as work at a start-up but knew that would be the case - we'll be okay for 6 months then I'll head back to work. Needs must!

cinnamon thats a v good point re the holiday accruals, definitely a good idea.

bananatoast will you be going back full time? Ive decided that 3 days will be enough for me, im just hoping it gets agreed, suppose they dont have to authorise it but there is a precedent from other women who returned after mat leave on a PT basis.

Ive been blissfully ignorant all these years and now am shocked by the price of childcare! If I went back three days, and used the University nursery for those three days I would basically have enough of my salary to cover my phone bill, contact lenses and charity DDs and thats it. Think we're going to have to finally sit down and merge our finances, after nearly a decade together and always being financially independent it could be interesting!

Sympathy on the crap mat pay - my old company (massive American co) was hugely tight and only paid the statuary minimum. DH and I had to merge our finances and it was a bit of a shock. I felt very vulnerable, I guess. And that I couldn't spend anything on me. For DD, fine, if it was necessary, then it's his child too, but clothes for me? I felt horribly guilty. We've worked it out now but I still tread carefully. I now work PT teaching yoga and don't think I'd get any money at all from govt as am so lowly paid (I only teach 3 classes a week). No idea how maternity allowance works. Must investigate.

Poor youtheboomonster can you set a phone reminder for your meds? (sorry if that sounds patronising - can just see how your day might run away with you)

kismac hope you feel less bad soon. Come ON placenta.

lauren hope the lurgy goes away.

Mswibble me and DH have always had our separate money. Tried getting a joint account when we moved in together but he never uses it and I use it to separate the bills from what money I have left over every month. (Not much but it's something) he's always been pretty good about giving me money when I run low at the end of the month back when I was in a lesser paid job but I got a secondment and now earn the same as him. Shame it ends in July and I'll be back to my little job. Least ill get my maternity pay based on the big money I might reduce my hours by half a day a week. It will cut our nursery fees so will balance out. Only thing I worry about is once you reduce your hours it's reduced forever you can never get them back. I suppose that can be offset by reducing my money enough to be entitled to tax credits once again and boost me back up. Once we don't have to pay for nursery we will be rich in another 4-5 years (not really but it's like loosing an extra mortgage payment and by then the actually mortgage will be less too)

mswibble most people with young children in my department work 3 days a week, a couple work 4. I think I'll go back 3 if we can afford it - we need to work out take home pay after childcare, childcare vouchers, paying less tax, etc. We will also have to do something about our finances, probably with DH paying much more than me into the joint pot. At the moment it's pretty equal as we earn almost the same. It's definitely going to be an adjustment. I'm not so worried about mat leave as I will have saved enough by then to cover most of the deficit, but about how life will have to change after I go back to work with reduced earnings and higher outgoings. I thought about this quite a lot before TTC but figured we would never be able to afford it on paper and that we would find a way to manage.

Wow, I'm shocked to read about some of your maternity pay arrangements - think I'd take it for granted that everyone's would be ok. I now feel very lucky, will not be taking that for granted.

DP and I have a joint account which covers bills, food etc - we each put in the same every month then keep what's leftover in our own accounts. It works really well.

Has anyone been having awful achey hips?! I have for the last few days and it's no fun

Also, I'm fed up of apps etc telling me I should have loads of energy and a high libido now I'm in second trimester - still knackered and don't fancy DTD. Feeling very sorry for poor DP though. Will I ever want to again?! Someone reassure me please!

15 weeks today - woo!

Banana we're in a very similar situation - not too worried about mat leave, but feeling quite anxious about going back to work, if I'll be allowed to go part time, how we'll make ends meet (how does anyone with children ever afford to go on holiday?!), and also what it will do to my career. Eek. Still, it will all be worth it!

Yep Brixton - our problem is that DH is from down under and all his family still live there so we won't be able to cut out big holidays or his family would never see us or meet the baby. Why can't they live in France instead if they have to be abroad?! We can definitely cut all other holidays for the moment though.

13+2

Just SMP in my work as well.

The way we do it is we have a joint account and we pay the same there for bills and food and stuff then he pays 2/3 of the nursery and I pay 1/3 as he earns more. he also pays more for the mortgage as well. then we keep the leftovers...

banana my DH is an antipodean too so I sympathise with the problem. We've mostly had cheapish European hols (renting flat in Alps for cycling etc). His sis is getting married in June and we just can't afford for all four of us to go. His sis is v disappointed that it'll be just him as she'd wanted DD to be a flower girl etc. I do understand but it'd be nearly 4k. Personally I'm not delighted at being left alone with toddler and newborn for two weeks over my 40th birthday but needs must. I shall have to be like the queen and have an official birthday!

DH's mum is absolutely lovely and has been three times since dd was born. We paid for her flight last time as it was our turn, frankly, but we couldn't face it and it's much cheaper to pay one flight than three.

My family is only in Portugal and to go this Christmas, it will be £700 for 3 flights - including a not yet 3yo!! if we were going at the start of December instead would have been only £280

Dh and I have always had shared money, we earned very similar money before I had ds1. Now he's been promoted and I'm childminding and he earns roughly double what I do but I'm at home looking after OUR children which probably makes my earnings actually equal!! When I went back after having ds1 we were crippled by child care costs and I was miserable!! Childcare vouchers helped us a bit

Last time I saw smp was £127 a week but £140 odd would be nice!!

I will duck and hide from everyone discovering the cost of childcare! I only charge £3 or £3.50 and hour but I've also paid it so I know how much it adds up!

I think it depends on you BrixtonBunny with both of mine once the sickness subsided things went pretty much back to normal for us dtd wise and with ds1 we tried again 4 weeks post birth and 3 weeks with ds2 but there were ladies on the sept 10 thread who literally didn't dtd again until they wanted to try for baby no2. They made me feel like a nympho at times!!

I dreamed about my baby last night, he was really ugly but cute to me iyswim! Very squashed during labour kind of face and really red but had the most amazing curly hair, which dh and I don't have! Was lovely dreaming about feeding my little boy as I really feel quite detached from him/her at the moment.

I ran this morning and glad I did but I'm still binge up with a horrible cough and slept so badly last night :(

15+2

Oh and holidays, TheSun!!! Or last minute caravans/cottages

name change from trying. I've just booked the flu jab, so glad to see you were talking about it! My midwife hasn't mentioned it yet or the doctor, but I've just had my second cold/flu of the season so I called the doctors and they said i can just book it myself. I would have done it earlier if I'd known I could just ring up like normal! It makes me worry there's loads of things like this that I just don't know to do - I just read on nhs choices you're supposed to tell your doctor as soon as you get flu symptoms and I've had them twice now :(

With accrued leave, do you work it our proportionately if you're taking less than a year? I'd be stopping when the paid bit runs out. Do you do the same for the bank holidays, or is it how many bank holidays you have actually missed? Because I would be going back in January I would have missed all the bank holidays so would I get all 8 days?

I'm jealous of these jobs where you can work three or four days a week. That was never an option in any of my jobs. I would have loved to do a job share but it just wasn't available. It's a bit of a shame as I am well qualified but I can't work as my childcare costs would be sky high. Also my DS1 has special needs and I'm not sure how easy it is to find childcare for older children. He's nearly 12 and that seems to be the cut off for childcare but he isn't really able to be left on his own. He would be okay in term time but not all day through the holidays.

Talking about holidays, I'm off to Antigua for two weeks in December with DH. Our last holiday just the two of us, I'll be able 18/19 weeks when we fly. Hoping I feel better by then, it's a long flight but it will be our last holiday just the two of us and was totally planned that way.

Going to need to do some maternity shopping for clothes I think!

11+6

cinnamon I also had a baby dream last night - we got our NIPT results back and baby was very low risk. Hope that one comes true! Should get results end of next week/early the week after. Trying not to let myself worry about the alternative just yet. Hopefully once we've got the results we will finally be able to start to relax.

monkey I'm not sure how accrued leave works. I was wondering if you're going from full time to part time do you accrue at part time rate or does part time officially start when you go back?

Siarie I'm also off on holiday in two weeks time visiting the in laws - 32 hours each way! Completely dreading the flight but know it will be the last time it's 'easy' as next time we go we'll have a little one in tow. I've bought some flight socks and hoping my continuing tiredness will mean I manage to get some sleep!

I just rang hr and they said they won't give advice until you give in your matb certificate

I'm quite jealous of all of you looking at maternity pay. I haven't worked in a paid job for six years so won't he anything! Dh supports us all and we manage, but it would be nice to get something.

However, dh is currently looking at a redundancy package that will help us a lot. His boss is selling the business, but the new owners are going to re employ dh, so he'll get a pay out but keep his job. I'm hoping the extra money will be before Christmas which would take the pressure off nicely!

Banana Flight socks! That's a good idea. I wonder if my flights will include them. Anyone have any tips for travelling while pregnant?

I bought them on ebay for a few £. Figured I'd come prepared for the long flight with socks and a bag of snacks. Can't think of anything worse than feeling sick on a long flight with only plane food to perk me up!

Extra leg room, near a toilet and make sure you wander around as much as you can. Oh and snacks lots of snacks. If your long hauling they usually give loads of freebies don't they?