Summer holidays are over, the PESH are bringing their bumps and baybees back to school

[TheOriginalWinkly]

Pack your giant pants in your satchel and maternity pads in your pencil case, it's the antenatal thread for BESH graduates

CRESH

Faith - pinky faithlet arrived 14th April 2013
Pinkr - suitably pinky one arrived 25th August 2013
Jethro - blue one arrived 23rd September 2013
Noks - pink one arrived 12th January 2014
Frankel - large pink one arrived 10th March 2014
Merks - pink one landed safe and sound 21st March 2014
Sinky - Stubborn blue one arrived 26th March 2014
Driz - blue one arrived 12th June 2014
Kat - pink one arrived 21st June 2014
draf - pink calf on 1st July 2014
winks - a pink one dragged out kicking and screaming on 4th July 2014
euro - a pink one in a hurry to see the world, born on 17th July 2014
dor - a pink one born at speed on 28th July 2014
ginge - completing the ESH Summer of Pink on 23rd August 2014

PESH
Buggerlugs - Buglet due 20th October
Fankle - ESHlet expected 4th January
Cunty - Minichops expected 7th February

Right, I've always dealt with this stuff by myself, time to get real I've texted my therapist to see if she can fit me in next week, texted mum to see if I can call tonight, I'll give BR a heads up after work, the weekend will be spent on housework (clean and tidy house = tidier mind) and creating a budget. And Breathe... sorry for the stress, writing to anyone helps to get it out!

Don't apologise, this is what the PESH/CRESH are for. Its very normal to be massively overwhelmed by a diffment - I was 15 weeks diffed and cried, sobbed because I had no cash on me when I went out, which therefore meant I would forget to give MiniWinks her lunch money and she would go hungry or I would forget to pay for a school trip and she would miss out (disclaimer - I am an idiot. These things could still well happen.) I'm guess you have underlying anxiety issues or similar, which is going to magnify these for you.

Re giving birth - you have ages to prepare. I would suggest a private hypnobirthing course if you can possibly afford it. However you an request to speak to the hospital team about an ELCS on the grounds of MH, there have been recent threads about it on MN. Is BR your other half? He doesn't get to decide what you do with your body. Your birth, your decision.

As for everything else, a baybee doesn't need much to begin with and you can get loads as bargains at nearly new sales etc. We didn't start making our flat decent until April, and MiniWinks was due in June. Plus I found I spent far less money when diffed than normal, I was too sick and tired to go out much, bought the most basic of clothing, wasn't drinking. I did spend a fair amount on cheese and onion crisps in the first trimester though :) Plus if you have 9 weeks mat pay, then you have 9 months to save not 7.

Agree with what Winks says, we are here to help as much as we can. Definitely look into a Hypnobirthing course or similar, I was very nervous of birth and found Lazy Daisy classes very helpful.

Yeah, on top of all the normal (plus added BESH type stress) I have severe depression and anxiety anyway, seems to have just bubbled over the top since seeing the midwife! Talking/Typing it out really helps! I get stuck in the "I'm all alone and weird" camp! MAde myself text my friends and therapist! Extra appointment on tuesday and people are texting back! PLus all your replies! Yes, We do actually have 9 months to save (first time for everything! ;) ) And I'm sure family will help out, this is the first grandchild and we've been through a lot to get here so we deserve it!

I know we'll be ok, and I know this won't be my last meltdown!!

Thanks BESH as ever! I'm looking forward to making some secret cunt bunting (ie: bunting that I will call cunt in my head whenever I look at it!) for my own actual baybee! I really miss gin at times like these!

Pregnancy is overwhelming to a lot of people, let alone when it took forever to get your win. I have a history of anxiety and depression too. At one point I was bad enough that I raised my BP...midwife agreed to see me twice weekly to help to reassure me. Seek out the help available.

Start thinking about VB, I agree hippo birthing might help but if you really can't do it, start talking about CS with your midwife, at your 12 weeks scan. My sister didn't have a good time first time round and second time she just kept saying she wanted a CS and it wasn't a problem. With your history, they should understand.

One of my reasonings is that I don't want to have to have a traumatic birth just to be allowed a cs next time round, I'm terrified of a traumatic birth, complications, an emergency cs and extensive post partum problems! plus possible ptsd. I know CS is riskier than VB but for me I see it as a managed risk against a huge list of unknown possibilities, I'm open to information on both and am going to speak to the birth matters team but I don't want to be pushed or ostracized if a CS is still what I want, that's what I'm actually worried about!

Anyway, it's a long way off! plenty of time to change my mind a lot!

Is there a reason you have huge anxieties around VB?

My bestie is in the antenatal ward waiting to have her waters broken, SQUEEEEEE, she'll likely have her gorgeous squidgy baybee by the morning!!!

winks you are not near me are you? (SE London, zone 2) Our babies are only a couple of weeks apart.

missh you have time. And it sounds like you have some coping mechanisms sorted. I used to be terrified of VB. Somehow by the time I got diffed, I really felt ready for it but was terrified of CS! I didn't get to put it into practice but I found the Birth Skills book good.
www.amazon.co.uk/Birth-Skills-Proven-pain-management-techniques-ebook/dp/B006K1Y4UA/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1412878060&sr=8-1&keywords=juju+sundin+birth+skills

Quiet round here innit

Hope they have some answers for you. Perhaps you have a fast milk flow or something?
a good night was had in the kittykat house. One night waking which i did not deal with as she had a bottle, currently snoozing next to me having fallen asleep after a,morning feed. Only one wake up from big kitten who is miraculously still in bed! Normally he decides to get up at six on a Sunday!
hmmm something is wrong everyone except me is asleep...

I'm lurking! Will reply properly when I get near the laptop!

The Little Miss was very similar in the early days. She has improved as time has gone on.

Couple of things to try...

Try feeding reclined - milk comes out slower.

Express a bit first to slow the flow down.

Unfortunately by giving her formula you may increase the flow to start with. Whatever works tho.

I'm lurking too, while recovering from a horrible cold. I've come to the obvious conclusion that colds in pregnancy are totally shit!

Still doing a lot of work from home as well, so my 'free time' is not as free as I'd like

On the plus side, I can now feel and see the baby moving every day, which is just cool. Also started pregnancy yoga, which is fab!

Wish I could offer some advice to everyone struggling with breastfeeding/sleeping ishoos - unfortunately I know naff all about either!

Fank and MissH - how're things with you both? Hope you're all well

I'm still lurking ish. Can't help with boob feeding but we've been told to start looking at getting a room ready. Easier said than done when you don't know what you're getting so we're going very generic!

Oh, rasp, how exciting! Do you have any idea about ages, or is it totally up in the air? I'm amazed it's going so quickly, I was under the impression that adoption took much much longer. So pleased for you :)

In an hour or so I am taking HOTB to the station, and then I will be on my own with the calf until Wednesday night. I am shit scared MIL is coming over on Weds day,which will help, but two days and three nights on my own is a very daunting prospect. Nothing compared to what Frank coped with, but still I've never had longer than about 18 hours without help before...

I can't help with Boob ishoos either I'm afraid! I'm 10+4 today and have had to get a new bra already 32GG [eek] I only got one cos they're expensive and I imagine I'm nowhere near my final size

Cunty - I've developed a cold overnight, fucking awful as I can't do what I normally do with a cold which is to swig Beechams All-in-One straight from the bottle, plus a nasal decongestant spray and a throat anaesthetic spray! Prior to pregnancy I always saw dosage instructions as total balls! BR is making Thai Noodle Broth for dinner in the hope all the ginger a chicken stock will help!

Rasp - Very exciting! How much longer do you think? Are you getting a baby or a little one? Or an older one?! Sorry, I don't know your history!!

Giraffe -you'll be fine, deep breaths! Get on here if it's too much!

How's everyone doing today?

I'm ok, did some sorting of my wardrobe over the weekend, packed up the jeans that no longer fit! Already?!?!

I'm not worried about a VB as such, it's all the uncertainty and un-predicatability around the whole situation, not knowing when/how long/what complications etc etc that bothers me, this is a major part of my anxiety, I hate surprises and the unknown (I research and have plans in place for everything !). Whilst I know having a child is full of all those things I have no control over them so it's easier to deal with! The birth I do have control over, and knowing a date and having a proper plan in place and following it through after making a decision will mean for a much better, less stressful pregnancy and introduction to motherhood! If I did have a VB I'd be having an epidural asap which increases the chances of further interventions which I don't want! I'm an all or nothing person, hippy sneeze birth (will never happen!) or whipped out the side!

Rasp that's so exciting!! Have they given you any timescales apart from 'soon'?

Bugs I haven't got any good BF advice. Everyone knows I struggled! Expressing was the only thing I could do. Hope the BF cafe has good advice.

Draf you'll be absolutely fine, once you get into the swing of things you will find a rhythm to the days.

Rasp that's very exciting! hope you get news soon

No idea on timescales. Weird really having to get a room ready before panel but it's got to be done and it is quite exciting, I'm going with a friend to look at furniture tomorrow and dads going to paint the spare room in a few weeks. I'm hoping it means they think we'll get a placement quickly but it could take up to a year so who knows. We have a rough idea of age, not worried about gender. Can't decide on siblings and lots still to think about in terms of background and level of need etc. Im saying all that very casually but it's taking a huge amount of brain power to make all these decisions but our SW, well, I can't tell you how great she is, she's just lovely.
But yes - all very quick so far!