Due in Jan 2007 part 4: Sex?! Don't make me laugh! (When I laugh my back hurts MORE, and I wet myself)

[2Happy]

Whaddya think?!

well, after a few months of pure sex (trying to concieve) tbh it's nice to try things that AREN'T just sex if you know what i mean!! .....too much info??!

Lol all you first timers let me tell you this you will not be panicking about the state of your lady garden when your in labour, you dont care who is having a poke about and what condition its in however I did shave all mine off before having son , well dh did I couldnt reach. I had stiches with ds and the consultant deleivered him and a docotor stiched me up and all he was talking to me about when my legs where is stirrups was about how cheap could he fly to ghana I made the fatal mistake of letting my proffesion known, you would think doctots could afford any flight the tight arse, can you imagine the state of me 24 hour labour lady garden ripped to shreads and a big black doctor with his hands poking at my bits . Ooooh and to make you all laugh even more when I started pushing I pooed tmi I know it was my dh reaction though he said oh no claire you have shit the bed the midwife said dont worry love it happens all the time............

Hope I never have to meet any of you ..

I agree with Laughalot on the hairy fanjos.

really girls, you will not give 2 shits(or one in Laughalots csae) about what it looks like. By the time you're 40 weeks you'll be so uncomfortable and desparate to give birth that a hairy mary will be the furthest thing from you mind.

I've only trimmed mine once since finding out I was PG and that was just a experiment to see if it made the thrush I'd been suffering from any better.......hmmmmm TMI there I think.

You lot don't arf make me laugh! I can't believe how much you all natter! Lovin the names for your 'lady bits'! I have actually managed a couple of tidy ups down there with the old electric lady strimmer, think I may have another go asap before I can no longer reach! Although dh did tidy up for me the first time round, garden, legs and toenails. Talking about birth/stitching stories....I was lucky enough not to actually shit myself...but having had an epidural and been cut, I did manage to do the biggest smelliest fart of my life right in the midwife's face but what made my dh laugh was the fact the midwife said nothing and didn't even flinch, she just carried on stitching!!!

Congrat's Urban, you look beautiful!

My moan today is that I am really craving a fag!?!?! Why is that all of a sudden? I am not even stressed at the mo!?! Anyone else struggling??

ROFL at 'oh no Clare you've shit the bed' Hilarious!

Urban, you look stunning and the flowers are fab

I can honestly say after 4 kids I don't think I have ever literally shit myself but maybe Dh is lying
Managed to shave a few weeks back and dh keeps offering but I am not letting him near me with a bloody razor!!!!

heres a good tip to lessen the chances of "shitting the bed"....eat lots and lots and LOTS of grapes when you're overdue and you want to go into labour.

I did this with ds2+3 and spent the entire early stages of their labour on the loo......errr....ummmm....clearing out!!!

(sorry...couldn't think of a nicer way to say it)

I feel better knowing we are all going to be a bit hairy. Morning all

Might start a new thread called 'hairy mary's!'

OMG....I do believe I've reached the 3rd trimeister!!!!

28 weeks today (I think...could be 29) and that means I've finally got there.

But still feel like I ahve an eternity to go!! though....

Lol we all have a real complex about our lady gardens I think I might get dh to get hedge strimmer round it . We dont seem to have many prim and proper people on this thread, however who lives in the counrty with the vet as a husband that sounds all rather nice and posh, probably its no one and iv dreamt it . Well we are all nearing the 3rd trimester so much to do so little time.

Really boring question but does anyone know anything about the Surestart grant? Can you only get that if you are claiming working tax credit? I won't be going back to work after bubs is born but can you claim working tax credit if only one of you is still working? DP will be? So confused as it was sent to me but I don't know if I'm entitled to it? x

Also as a side issue, what can you use for pereneal(sp) massage. Almond oil was mentioned but is there an alternative?

everyone should read this thread from a while back re lady gardens its hilarious - www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1365&threadid=200864#4103815
I had a brazilian done before last time at vast expense but will prob do the same again this time - its def nice having a clean mini, or should I say maxi (which is will be afterwards!!). Much nicer for the after birth bleeding too - sorry if TMI !! I've just booked to have the works done - 1/2 leg wax, bikini line, eye brow shape, eyelash tint and massage - all to be done in South Africa where I will be on hols with DD in 3 weeks and counting - shame by DH won't be there to see the short live glamorous me!! Has anyone finished with their copy of First Magazine that could send it to me as I never got to see the pics of everyone???

And further to that question, when do you actually start the dreaded massage?

you mean perineal - never in my case - there are some things I'm just never doing and that is definitely one of them!!

Hi there, I am a student at Birkbeck College (Uni of London) studying an MSc Human Development, and part of my course requires me to take part in Infant Observations. While this sounds daunting (and maybe uninteresting for some...) it is not as clinical as you may think! It simply means that one hour a week, for about 18 months (probably no more), a warm and open mother will allow me into her home to 'observe' her (or her husbands/other family members) interaction with the new born. I will literally be a fly on the wall, I will not judge, speak or talk to the baby or the mother. I shall not be making notes (this is the clinical part I am afriad people will think), in fact you are not even suppose to notice me. The hour that you will allow me to visit will depend wholly upon the mother's wishes, though hopefully an hour when the baby isnt sleeping... As a mother with a new infant, I expect that some people will be thinking that this is the last thing they will want- an intruder/ and outsider. This is the last thing I would want to feel like too. I would like the mothers to know that this is completely confidential. Names will be changed etc. And if teh mother is interested- at the end of my course (June 2008) I have to submit a paper based on my observations, the motehrs are entirely entitled to read them too. As this is a requirement for my course, I have taken the necessary police/Crimincal Records Bureau Checks, and come from a background in child (and adult) related volunteer work as my CV will testify. If there are any expecting mothers who may be interested to hear more about this, but not necessarily make a commitment to allowing me their time, please contact me on [email protected]. My name is Neda, and I would also like to note that I think it would be in both of our interests if I could meet the mother during the end of her pregnancy to see if we are both comfortable with each other and ask any other questions beforehand. This will take the pressure off both of us!

I am looking for mothers who are expecting to give birth in November or December, or even January, preferably in Central London. I am based in Kensington.

Thank you so much and I really apppreciate your taking the time to read this!

Perineal massage isn't somethng I'm particularly looking forward to but if it helps with labour I'll try anything. I think my friend used to used flora margerine!

perineal massage - now there's a topic! i think you can use any natural oil, olive, sesame...i don't think it matters so long as you don't use a scented one. i heard that if you're going to labour in water you don't need to do it as the warmth of the water softens you up! (that could be BS, i know, i'm just squeamish about massaging....there)

Never did any massages down there either. TBH it hard enough work reaching those "parts" now anyway so I'm not going to tie myeslf in knots trying to rub olive oil into it....

I'd be interested to know if a bit of massage an stretching really does make a difference. I religiously did it with 1st and tore and didnt bother with 2nd and didnt tear- maybe 1st baby gave me a bucket hole!

OH, blimey I nearly forgot....have youseen the first paragraph in the Late pregnancy part of the bounty pregnany diary??

Bloody hell I LOLOLOLOL

"Around now you may need to move to maternity clothes, even if you've managed with stretchy skirts and trousers so far......blah blah blah"

WTF???

On what planet??

I read it to DH too and he almost choked!

I'm still in stretchy trousers Need maternity tops though!

for magnolia!