November 2014- Thread 6- Pink, blue or yellow? 20 week scans coming up for the rainbow collective

[Alita7]

Wow this makes me feel so far along! Nearly halfway!

totally agree alita. Finding our your baby's sex is your business and no-one else's. If we want to find out and tell the world - great. if we want to find out and keep it to ourselves - fab. If we want it to be a total surprise - marvellous. Whatever works best for us and our own situation is the way we should go. people have judged us for finding out and seem very put out when they find out that we know but arent willing to tell them - as if they have any right to know. A cleaner for DP's work was v annoyed yesterday that he wouldnt tell her - and ended up saying "well i want it to be a boy" - as if we gave a flying monkeys what she wanted or as if that would magically sway him into somehow disclosing...

This weekend I have been craving an alcoholic drink something woeful but havent. My choice and it affects no-one but me and the baby. The amount of people who have seen fit to offer their wisdom has been incredible and somehow take it personally if i choose to do what they 'advise" - as if i am rejecting their very soul and being.

yep - my example abovewas different and more to show that i can be an ole bag and judge folks. One thing I wont do though is to name call or say anything in front of DD, event though inside I wish some people would just catch themselves on....

correction - somehow take it personally if i choose NOT to do what they 'advise" - as if i am rejecting their very soul and being.

Am feeling very tired this evening, DP has been away since Friday on a boys trip so it's been just me & the kids & I think being pregnant and looking after a very energetic 3 year old & a 1 year old solo is sooo tiring when you've been working all week. Hats off to the single mums who do this all the time !

Only bonus is DS slept through 2 nights this weekend for the 1st time since I went back to work, not last night but if it becomes a regular thing ill be super happy ! Hoping he will be sleeping through constantly before this next 1 arrives ! He has been a much more demanding baby in comparison to my dream easy heavy sleeping DD who slept well from the beginning. Made me realise it had nothing to do with my amazing mothering skills, just all baby's are different !

Got our 20week scan on Thursday and can't wait to see our little baby again, not finding out sex. I keep getting but it's the 3rd you don't need a surprise ?!? I even had a why r u having another, you already have 1 of each ?!? I do keep thinking it would be nice to tell DD she has a little brother/sister as she understands there is a baby coming and is determined it's a little girl, but same as my birthday and christmas, I do love a surprise !! And it doesn't really get any bigger then this !

Bring on Thursday !

Aw good luck to everyone who have their upcoming scans this week! 3 more weeks to go for me.

In terms of monitors - I intend to have my munchkin in a cot with me for first 6 months so not worth getting a video monitor as I will probably be staring at it for the first few weeks in fear! But then would it be silly to get one without a video and then have to buy another one with video after?

Everyone has their opinions and I get both 'Oh wow you must tell me when you find out!!' and 'Oh no I would hate to have known it completely ruins the surprise, I NEVER found out with any of mine' I just smile politely and say 'Well that's where we're different'. Let em say what they want, this baby is my very very own and I can't wait to start calling it a she or he!!

Oh and I have started getting flutters and gentle prods which feel like one bubble popping, it has a wonderfully calming effect. Pleased that it has started making it's presence so early! :-)

Can I please have some opinions on sleeping arrangements with a newborn? Do they normally start in the parents room then move to the nursery when a little older? I know there is no norm/ one answer to this question but I would appreciate hearing peoples different views. Thanks.

ooh aussie -exciting scan this week for you. look forward to hearing your update. I am very impressed at coping on your own. cant have been easy! Yeah to 2 nights sleeping through - it starts to make all the difference when i happens.

amy - pleased you have been getting your flutters / prods

venus - we kept DD in our room in her hammock til she was about 9 months. she had most of her daytime naps (when she would give in and have them!) in her cot in her room to get her used to sleeping in their. I remember those fisrt nights when she wasnt with us- i didnt really sleep at all listening to every breath and murmur. I found the move nerve wrecking tbh! I intend to have her with us again but the thought of co-sleeping is SO tempting if it gives me a bit mor sleep this time round. Will just have to see what kind of little person L'il green socks is and take it from there....

I co-slept with DS until he was about 3 months old, it turned out we were waking each other up unnecessarily with snores/snuffles so I spoke to my HV and she said the risk was low of anything happening due to various factors so he went in his own room and it was the best thing ever. I had a monitor and was quite a light sleeper.

I have a face I like to adopt which I hope conveys "I do not want your sodding opinion on this, keep it to yourself...if I want advice I will ask for it!"....it's a kind of disinterested glazed look which works quite well with those who have far too much 'wisdom' to impart ...that or just yawning in peoples faces I find quite good and amusing at the same time. Yes now I'm being a little childish, but honestly some people do and say some bizarre things to pregnant women!
Venus, from memory, which is vague at best...I had dd in Moses basket next to bed and then when she outgrew that a little crib (also next to bed) til 6 months ish, perhaps just before, by then she was in a good bath/bed routine and luckily sleeping great so the move to her big cot in the nursery was dead easy. I know ppl have had them in bedroom much shorter time, some longer...think it's down to your feel...I was so glad to reclaim my bedroom and in particular get out of bed at the side instead of wiggling down off the bottom all the time...but I couldn't have moved her out any earlier.

DD was in bed with us for about the first 3-4 weeks, something I swore I'd never do before having children ;) But I was terrified to hear her crying and,as she didn't cry so long as she was close to us/near boob, that was that. After about a month we phased that out and put her into her carrycot beside my side of the bed (it was safe for all-night sleeping), and then we moved her cot into our room and she stayed there til she was about 19/20 weeks, after which time we booted her out to her own room in the desperate hope of getting more sleep. Which we kind of did after that. DD was not a good sleeper.

Not sure what we'll do this time around. If this baby is anything like DD then it will be a mix of our bed and our carrycot in the room again. We always got far more sleep on the nights that we co-slept, but I didn't actually like doing it because I like my own space. But at least this time I'll know it's only for a short while so it will definitely be a case of 'do whatever gets most people the most sleep.'

I meant to say - my big scan was cancelled last week at the last minute because the scanner was off sick :( :( So we still have to wait until this Thursday!

Onion do you know what I've decided from this conversation, that people bloody well piss me off because most people wouldnt say a word out loud to that child's who took over the singings mother yet many people would tell her she was wrong for finding out/ not finding out the gender of her baby, for breast feeding, for dressing a baby in whatever she liked etc etc when those things don't affect anyone else!!

Venus I think the advice is to keep them in your room for 6 months where possible?

Well done with being on your own with the kids over the weekend, I'm sure I'll despair alone with 1 for a weekend :p

Heart burn is now taking its place in my life -.- I keep finding little bits of acidic sick coming up and so I went to the loo, bent over to spit it out and it felt like more wanted to come out so I just let my stomach muscles make me chuck up the rest... you get rid of Ms and then along comes acid reflux/ heart burn...

Also Green stone and Aussie my scans on Thursday too :) Can't wait!

My scan is on Thursday too!

Mine's tomorrow, I can't wait but I'm also fretting about possibilities of something being wrong.

Spent last night going "mmm, yes, you're probably right" to someone who was evangelising the Gina Ford method. I'm only 19 weeks pg for goodness sake - even Gina Ford doesn't recommend getting them into a routine in utero!!

Morning everyone! I have developed a nasty sore throat. It's crap, I can't take anythingI would normally take to relieve it! Even strepsils need doctors advice apparently. So just having some lozenges and liquorice.

I shouldn't have googled ' sore throat and pregnancy' though because up came a daily mail article about strep throats killing pregnant women. Nice. I'm sure it's just a harmless throat infection though.

I know what you mean about not googling, blamber. I've had (sorry for TMI) runny poo for a week or so, googled it and discovered that one site thinks it's an indicator of miscarriage. I panicked for several hours before remembering that the internet is full of shit. Literally, in this case.

Blamber I had a sore throat the other day, I thought I had tonsillitis because it felt like something was making me gag so I felt sick but I think it was just phlegm and I was so so thirsty. I looked down my throat and my tonsils were normal, I gargled oraldene and was fine the next day. DP got up today with a similar situation and no swollen tonsils so I think something is going round.

Posy I've not really had constipation and had loose poo or diahrea (can't spell -.-) through out but fingers crossed all is good!

Yay for Thursday scans, me too!

I've been quite lucky with people interfering I think. I've been off work so haven't really seen anyone and when I do all people want to talk about is whether I have tried ginger for the sickness. Frustrating in itself but I no longer imagine ripping people's heads off who suggest it so maybe hormones are making me more tolerant?

That child/mother sound painful. I hope everyone else in the audience gave them death stares!

posy - love the idea of gina ford imposing a routine in the womb - "at 7am the baby WILL move 3 turns to the left... at 7.15 the baby WILL ingest some amniotic fluid.. at 7.30 the baby WILL gently prod the womb carrier for 3 minutes etc"

I read Gina Ford before DD was born and wept, wondering how i could manage it. I reread it when DD was born and wept - wondering how i could ensure that my weighed out breakfast was eaten in the 10 minutes before my 7.5 minute shower at exactly 7.30am.
I didnt even put the book into charity shop in case another vulnerable new mum read it. It became cat litter.

exciting in work this morning - our building was burgled over the weekend. All the offices in out block were broken into and cleared of equipment. All - apart from ours. Not sure why they left us alone. Even the nursery was cleared out. I have opened our doors to all others who are not allowed into their "crime scene" rooms. It is obviously because i am a saint and totally altruistic and not at all because I am being nosy, struggling to complete funding applications. and looking for distractions.....

oklahoma - the mother did receive evil glares but she seemed quite oblivious to them. Headteacher did speak to her afterwards but she felt that her DD should have had a solo so at least she got that chance. She did lobby the headteacher quite hard when her DD was in P1 to ensure she got the part of Mary in the nativity play and was very disappointed when she did not get it. The school facebook page was flooded with her outpourings for a few days.

Sometimes folks lose all sense of perspective!!

Sometimes folks lose all sense of perspective!! At recent sports day for primary 1 - 3, DP heard one particularly competitive dad advise his 7 yr old daughter to "annihilate those wee bitches." For an egg and spoon race

BTW - this makes dd's school sound grim and it really isnt. Its a v small and cosy place with just 140 pupils in total. A few folks just cant let their kids enjoy and be part of things without having to be the best / centre of it all. a shame....

Morning everyone. 20 weeks now and I must admit I'm starting to look forward already to maternity leave . Work is really pressurised at the moment and I'm starting to feel a bit stressed and tired and bogged down with it all. I'll really be dashing to all of my upcoming antenatal appointments/scans and hurrying back to my desk to get back to work.

Is that terrible that I'm looking forward to leaving it all behind for a while? I feel like such a cliché - the woman itching to sail off on maternity leave and leave the big bad world of work behind! You'd think that being at home with a baby was actually easy or something, the way I'm feeling about work now

How are the rest of you doing at work these days? Those of you who are on your feet lots, you must be getting a bit tired?

weeonion those parents sound bonkers! I can't wait to cheer my boy on at sports day but I won't be telling him to annihilate the bitches

I'm a bit of thise lucky peeps who's having scans this week, mine is 2 weeks on Wednesday and I can't bloody wait.

My big sister and Mum are coming with me to my scan as DP is at work, DSis doesn't want to know the sex but me and mum do so I'm going to ask the sonographer to write the sex down and pop it in an envelope so DM and me can open it later.

I remember at DS' 20 week scan he wouldn't co-operate so I had to go for a walk and drink some fizzy, it worked and he moved and proved he wasn't shy!

How's everyone getting on? Heartburn is beginning to hurt but only at nigh time so I have some gaviscon on my bedside table ready to gulp down and sort it out.

posy- i have my scan tomorrow too!! exactly 24 hours till i see little one. like you i am so worried everythings is ok with baby. so on edge since my mass bleeding scare at 12 weeks.

Venus - with dd i had her in a Moses basket right next to me for 3 months before she got to big for it and she went in her own room. for the first week or so i stayed awake all night making sure she was ok and holding her hand while she slept... yes obsessive! hopefully if i get all my worry out in pregnancy ill be ok when baby's out

as regards to nosey people telling you this and that. i had it dd alot but as poeple know its my second they havnt said much. i will be finding out tomorrow and can't wait i don't like surprises id rather know what's coming! each to their own would never say how could you not.

Been away from here a bit as been super busy, so just trying to catch up with you all but it's hard as the thread moves fast and by the time I've moved forward a page, I can't remember who said what!
Was trying to catch up yesterday but DH kept peering over my shoulder which I didn't like...

Venus I think the guidance is to keep them in with you for the first 6 months, but you have to do what is right for you all. We are going to try and have them in with us and bought a crib to go next to the bed. As I'll be breastfeeding (hopefully) it seems like a good idea to have them next to me, but my friend moved her daughter out really early on into her own room and it suited them all fine, so will wait and see how it pans out...

Got my 20 week scan on Friday..... starting to get nervous about it!

re sleeping I had every intention of using a moses basket with DD but she ended up in with me for 2.5 years. Think she used the basket all of twice for a couple of hours. This time I have a cosleeper side crib but have no real intentions of using it. She'll be in with me again.