October 2014 - thread 7: blooming or just blooming hot?

[YellowWellies]

Hello all new thread!

Oh & re:tax & SMP...you'll prob find that you'll receive a tax refund on the 1st 1 or 2 pay cycles when you switch to pure SMP if you are paid under PAYE.. Yes it is 'taxable' but you'll be under the threshold as you'll be finishing up work halfway through the tax year, if not before... So pay is 'bumped up' a little once on SMP for the 1st full SMP pay month at least...every little helps & all that...

Ha ha I know!! First set this up when was sick of being stuck indoors with a crazed toddler in the middle of summer!! People know me as fed up / rainy so not really sure what to change it too!!
Joke is I put my suncream on this morning!! Thinking I should wash it off!

So... I washed off my suncream and the sun came out!! But it's raining again now. Don't mind though as nearly tea time!

Re breast feeding at the end of the day if it doesn't work for you don't feel let down. I managed dd for quite a while but ds was such a big hungry baby I couldn't do it I only managed 4 weeks after constant tears and sore bleeding nipples as he was on me so much it was with relief following long chats with various that we went onto formula. Not just about what's best for baby. Mummy needs to be happy and healthy too.

fedup :( hope it brightens up

Aww pony those outfits are so cute!
Just won a Motherease Rikki wrap on EBay, I'm on a roll :P

Sorry probably is somewhere on here but what age/weight does the ergobaby go up to

My bf story... Once DD was home from hospital, she wouldn't latch on after dark and we cracked at 4am one night and went to Tesco for premixed Aptamil. A few days later we got a visit from a smashing BF specialist who advised me my boobs were too big and my nipples too flat - poor DD couldn't feed as she didn't have much to hang onto!

It was expressing that saved our bacon - I pumped milk out when engorged in the morning and DH fed it it her in the evening once I was knackered. We also topped up with the occasional bottle of Aptamil but supply was never a problem for me. She was taking a bottle from about 3 days old and never had nipple confusion, we worked out that the best position for feeds was lying down and within a month she was feeding in every conceivable position. We BFd for 14 months.

I have a Tommy Tippee single electric pump which started conking out a bit after 8 months or so of more or less daily use. Noisy but quite efficient and comes apart easily for sterilising. Someone on gumtree is selling a manual Avent for a fiver which I might get as a backup.

fatpony - excellent work, love that fabric!

Super - today we've been at lunch with some friends. One of them is a consultant anaesthetist, we were talking about induction (and mostly turning down induction if you didn't want it to happen 'yet') - she said 'basically if they are trying to induce you, let them... then refuse all other intervention once they are talking about forceps or ventouse, get an epidural and if things slow down/look tricky, go quickly straight to C-section.. all doctors would choose a C-section.'

So that's reassuring!!

Goats good skills getting that tip!

Sorry can't remember who asked about BF rates in other countries - in Norway 90% of Mums are still BF at a year. Britain's low rates (>7% are BF at a year) really isn't because British women's bodies aren't as good as Norwegian womens but does reflect poor post natal support. It takes a very strong mind and huge support from loved ones to get past the first few days when tongue ties, engorged boobs (as milk comes in), latches etc need to be worked on but once you've cracked it - its so easy and satisfying (if there aren't any underlying issues). Also Norwegian women have much longer mat leave so don't have to wean early. Don't get scared by this chat about BF - the first few days aren't an accurate reflection of what its like. Its such a shame as you have to do the hard work when emotionally you are at your most vulnerable. Also if the healthcare workers caring for you didn't BF their advice can be terrible. So if you do fancy giving it a shot go in armed with good information - as you can't rely on getting it on the NHS.

I don't want to breastfeed for a year. I want my body and some of my time back - I want my boobs back! I'm not feeling very comfortable about it to be honest, and would only do it for the health of the child. Also, I'm going back to work at 8 months, and while I understand that expressing is necessary, I feel even MORE uncomfortable about that than breastfeeding. Like a bloody cow! Urgh.

Thanks Yellow, I'm hoping a combination of research and my being a stubborn cow will help see me through BF!

Goats that was me too! I could have written that post. I was v about BF but its a funny thing it can be very lovely. By a year J only had two feeds a day and could cope quite happily if I buggered off for the day or a night out so I found I had my body back earlier than thought. I was planning to get to 6 months, then a year but each time I didn't want to stop, I only weaned once we knew from the 12 week scan that this pregnancy was viable and because BF can induce prem labour and I'm already high risk. I was sad, but happy I could finally eat cheese and chocolate and generally get dairy back into my diet and because I hoped to be doing it again soon with number 2 it wasn't so sad. I do hope it works out this time.

Yeah, I'm prepared for my plans to change. But at the moment I find it a bit urgh.

We brought home a car seat and car seat stand thing today from SIL. Buggy arrives tomorrow. Erk. It's almost as if we're having a baby! Good news is that the nursery is also almost ready.. HAHAHAAAAA CRY...

I found the pressure and campaign to BF really hard, both mine have been FF as I'm on medication which means I'm not advised to. There is anecdotal evidence,
particularly from the States that it is ok, but I have never found anyone here who was willing to support me, just a blanket 'if the book says no, then you shouldn't'.

Mostly I'm resigned to it, but I still find it quite upsetting, especially when no doubt I'll be automatically given all the literature again about the benefits of BF.

Magic you're doing what's for the best of your baby don't be sad . My cousin is BF whilst on quite nasty meds for colitis against medical advice and it does seem to be making her DD very colicky and unhappy . BF isn't always best - for loads of reasons (personal choice, welfare of other kids, PND, chronic sleep deprivation) FF is a worthy choice. The love is just the same.

I think that's lovely wellies the love is just the same. That will be my mantra for all things baby!

I will never be able to offer an opinion on breastfeeding, not without some strong medication (can happen). If I can offer a thought though about when it doesn't work or isn't viable. Attachment and bonding are really important issues and breastfeeding is not the only answer. In fact if sleep deprivation and wonky feelings about it are strong influences in your life I could well imagine it being harmful. Happy Mummys are really important too. Mrsthedog has not checked the thread much of late, she's sticking with Facebook but I pass on all of your comments. It feels important to me that, although we want for her to breastfeed Schrodenburg it cannot be a must or anything that brings pressure. One benefit of not would be I could immediately share feeding duties which would help with my bonding and attachment stuff. Maybe we can revisit this stuff nearer the time too because there is sooooo much to think about right now it seems hard to devote enough time to any one issue. Maybe it will always be like that from now on

Puppy this is the calm before the storm in many ways so quite a good time to think and read about the big stuff (you've only really got shopping and occasional MW appointments on your plate as a thing to do at this stage now scans are over), it gets crazy again around birth when the to do list suddenly gets very and then it all calms down again about 3 months post birth. Its starting to feel real for me now movements are most days but with running around after J I'm conscious its all still feeling rather hypothetical and abstract.

Good point Yellowwellies, challenge for us is that mrsthedog is a teacher and now is most definitely not a calm before anything. In her NQT she is having to spend a lot of her time (when not so chuffing knackered) thinking about that. I was, not very succinctly saying, does everyone mind redoing these conversations in a few weeks again

my main point was that with all the pressure it's important to remember happy mums are just as important as anything else, whether BF or whatever. Important for Mums but also the physical and mental health of the baby for years to come.

I have books on how to make the kid sleep, not how to breast feed. Sleep worries are my main concern, which is probably wrong. Maybe I'll move on to feeding worries next!

I've read all this tribal mothering stuff, all the 'on demand' stuff, all the baby led stuff.. but the reality is, what I want to try is the stuff that keeps me and the boyfriend sleeping properly. We don't operate well on not much sleep - not just personally, but as a couple. It's all going to be quite interesting!

Feeding will probably be the next thing to look at goats as sleep will most likely be induced by good eating ;)

With Dd I took the approach that we've give breastfeeding a good go and if it didn't work out it wouldn't be for lack of trying! I made a point of going along to breastfeeding drop in sessions in the first few weeks/months as the advice there was brilliant....

sparkle I bought bottles pre - birth and I started introducing them when Dd was 2 weeks old...she never got nipple confusion. I also gave her warm fennel water (even though they say they don't need anything) as I felt it helped a lot with her digestion and colic. She had a LOT of wind!

We had bottles pre birth too.

I didn't buy formula in advance as figured (like chocolate!) if it was there we'd just use it maybe under stress or in a knee jerk way - when I figured I'd rather make the decision to switch (if I wanted to) when not under stress and in the cold light of day - not in the middle of the night. That worked pretty well. We only had one stressy pulling my hair out night when I nearly made DH get in the car and get some!

He talked me down from the edge and after seeing the doc next day it turned out J was comfort feeding from reflux and wasn't really going to be hanging off my boob every hour forever. It took much looooonger to get meds for it and figure the dairy link but I was so glad I wasn't going mad after all!