October 2014 - thread 7: blooming or just blooming hot?

[YellowWellies]

Hello all new thread!

Lol fedup I'm pretty sure your ds won't ever be suitable for my first born child lol!

We now have our pram, courtesy of my parents. We had up to the value they spent on the icandy for my brother, we went for the Bugaboo Buffalo, which worked out really good price for them as was cheaper to purchase in US using sterling after the currency conversion. We bought early as will purchase items in the UK in July if not available here so trying to make sure I have everything beforehand!

Binky just say to ur mother in law that no money in the world is worth the time you will spend with ur child by not going to work.. See how that grabs her!

Oh and mils! Mine took the shine off the scan news last week. They can be really terrible, cant they? I had thought she was not going to be too bad as she keeps saying that they dont want to overburden us, give us space etc. We have asked all Uk based visitors, ie all family, to give us two weeks after the birth before flying out. Dh wants to enjoy paternity leave and bond without worrying about guests/ tourists etc. Both parents have agreed reluctantly, but as there is not guarantee of when baby will turn up this could really help them.

PIL announced wednesday eve that they will come out for 3 weeks, stay for the first week in a hotel between us and a tourist centre. This week is the last of DH paternity leave. They say they want to be near incase we need help/ they want to see dh and baby (not me..). But will have no car so will rely on dh to ferry them significant distances. Dh v. angry with them, but despite being retired they are admanent that they have other
commitments that prevent them coming a week later. Hence one very fraught call just before midnight. They seem to think it fair that they come in the middle of dh paternity leave when my parents won't because they want to see their son. Emphasis on their son. Think they can come for as long as they want when they want without thought to how I might feel, ie the person who has gone through labour, trying to bond etc. Its hard when we are thousands of miles away and they want time to see baby but we feel we need time to bond before we have people stay for weeks on end stealing the baby, yes they will.

My mum has booked a holiday 2 weeks before I'm due. This will be grandchild number 7 for her so I guess the novelty has worn off! I had hoped we could rely on her to take dc1 when I go into labour though! Oh well will have to rethink that plan.

Dp made an off the cuff comment that we would be heading down to visit his parents to day after the baby is born...I really hope that was a joke but just in case it wasn't I set him straight that I won't be going out of town at all for at least the first 10 days and in any case if they want.to see their grandchild they know where we live!

Oh I had the awkward 'you're not staying in my house for the first two weeks' conversation a few weeks back. The fall out has been fairly on going with both them and me (through the boyfriend) saying we didn't want to be offensive blah blah. Secretly I don't mind being a bit offensive if it gets the message across.

At the time they were talking about looking at cot prices (WHY? if we come and stay it'll be a travel cot, won't it - it's not going to be every other week or something), and kept going on about how MIL needed her mum to come and stay - as if I'd want her to come and stay instead of say, my mum. Gah.

I really hope I'm not precious about the baby when it arrives, I don't want to be, but I know that things change when it comes to emotions. My SIL has been AMAZING in terms of not caring what me and my family did with their kids - I've been taking them out on their own with me since they were 6 weeks old, and have a pretty close relationship with them now they are 3 and 18 months, it's cool.

Wow ltd where on earth do you hide all those presents?!!

Fab you got that definate kick Pebble!

Puss it's terrible that they don't appear to factor you in. People just can't see what's right in front of them sometimes can they?

Wow some of you are very organised! The only baby stuff I have in house are a few snowsuits in various sizes, 2 sleep suits and an activity mat.
Don't have the space or money to store everything before baby comes.

Wow some of you are very organised! The only baby stuff I have in house are a few snowsuits in various sizes, 2 sleep suits and an activity mat.
Don't have the space to store everything before baby comes.

Earlier people were discussing 3rd trimester bladder issues well I haven't had a break from the frequent urination or sleep deprivation.

Is it really ridiculous to call a kid the same name as your sister in law's sister's kid?

As in, my nephews would have two cousins with the same name. They've got 5 cousins on the other side, are likely to have only the 1 on this side (unless I get my way and we get to try and see if I can have another one at 42).

Sparkle I have contrasting grandparents too. My mum is great. Just the right mix of excitement and helpfulness without being at all domineering. She is on her own after my Dad died but is still insisting she helps us by buying the pushchair. MIL on the other hand and step FIL are well off but have shown very little interest in the pregnancy at all. But then again they show very little interest in DP which I find so sad. His relationship with her is so very different to the one I have with my mum. They only live a couple of miles away too but in 4 years have never been round to visit us. We always go to them as apparently their house is "more comfortable". We live in a 3 bed flat, it's hardly a shoebox!

My Tuppence & Crumble Star blanket arrived today. I bought the denim colour, it is so soft & fluffy & beautiful. Aaahh! I also got some baby grows & a cute Merino wool hat in the post today. I'm lucky I don't have too much to get as I have lots from DD.
DD slept in a hammock which my SIL is currently using so we will get this back & I will just buy a new mattress for it. It is a great solution for little baby, the hammock & swaddle helped me get lots of sleep as when my LO moved she kinda rocked herself to sleep.
I will buy a few more bits of clothing & a foot muff for my existing Uppababy & that will be it. Phew!
I'm a right chancer & I have a wish list on a fav website of mine, will just send that to anyone that wants to buy us anything, it has all manner of cool things on the site including co-sleeper cots (I'm hoping my mum will buy me one!) and I have merino sleeping bags on there for work colleagues & MIL!

Sparkle I wish my inlaws would do that!
Ohthegoats why do mil's think we want them them when mine acknowledges I am closer to my mum. We may require help, but the only help I could bear would be them popping in for a half hour. Was easily feasible before we moved so far. I can't stand the thought of houseguests for weeks when I have just given birth- leaving to own devices will cause chaos with things in the house. And there will be tension because if things do not happen as MIL wants, when she does, ie she is not involved in cuddling caring for baby, then she creates a huge seen. She has massive form on this over the last 10 years. Oh and love been very direct, if people take offensive from speaking the truth, tough! Luckily DH is 100% behind me on this.
LondonJen I get the excitement over new babies, but forgetting the new mum?? Why do I want to put someone else, not DH or baby or even me first?

Goats i have a tonne of first cousins some of whom have the same name. My son has the same name as my dad (who died when I was a kid) and my brother (so for his Irish cousins he's got the same name as their dad or uncle). It caused a lot of confusion for them initially (they were all 7 or under) but is fine now (plus it was the only name I wanted for a son). I have several first cousins called names like Michael and John. They just got called things like Michael from X or Uncle Andy's Michael. So using the same name as your nieces/nephews' cousin may mean that your child ends up as 'baby X' initially and then 'Goat's X' or 'X no 2' or whatever. But if you're fine with that then use it, go with a name you both love and everyone else gets on with it (just don't share it with anyone - seems to me that leads to weird politics and hurtful opinions!).

It's interesting to hear about parents & inlaws buying stuff. That was never an option for us and I'm glad as we avoid some of the politics I hear about.

My mum supplies cute outfits, but she's a pensioner (78) and this will be grandchild no 15 - if she had bought big ticket items for all of them she'd be bankrupt! We'll fly her over after the baby comes - she's great though as she's like 'ah you won't want me there when the baby's only 2 weeks, (even though I think I do!) how about 4 weeks or older?'.

The inlaws are very helpful - they will mind my two older kids when I'm in labour and will also cook/clean/help out with distracting the kids as much as they can. But I doubt they'll even buy a vest! But they'll do things over the years like show them how to pick fruit and make jam or bake cookies or teach them how to paddle a canoe or read thousands of books (usually the same ones over and over!) so I know this baby will have just as good a relationship with them as my older two have.

My SIL on the other hand does my head in. When her nearly two year old was born, she had an amazon wish list and asked folks to buy stuff, everything from the buggy to the cot to nappies and wipes and maternity towels (?!) to nursing tops and antenatal massages (in fairness, this wish list business is more common in the us with baby showers and all) and then actually asked us to buy her a changing table. For $160! And what did she buy our kids? Nothing, she didn't even send a card (and also no birthday or Christmas cards or gifts!). We, being non-confrontational mugs, bought the stupid changing table and it still pisses me off to this day! She is comedy tight and obsessed with money though so I do my best to let it wash over me (after I've had a good bitch about it to my own sister!).

I have to put a shout out for the tummy tub. It is honestly the best baby bath and I wish we'd had it when our first was born. We gave ours away before we moved but will definitely get another for this one (it's great for older children helping out with bath time).

To be fair, when my nephews were born I did tell my brother and SIL that I wouldn't be spending loads of money on them, but I would give them my time. I've tried REALLY hard to do that, and will only spend £10 max on birthday and Christmas presents each.

OK, so name is fine. One of my nephews is named the same as a first cousin in my generation, and another is named the same as a very close family friend of our generation. I know for sure that the mother of the other cousin won't care, she's nice and chilled out - and it's not like we see them very often. I think that gives us our number one boy's name.

Wow:) some of you are so orgsnised!! I have bought nothing at all!' I have had my 20 week scan but yet still feel like i cant buy anything ??? i was the same first time around.. So paranoid:( Im in the process of moving house so maybe once im settled i will go on a frenzied shopping spree?? My mum asked last nite when she should buy the pram, i know which one i want but im so reluctant to go & buy it .., this should be the exciting the part.,, i really hope my anxiety is not starting to creep its way back in? Or its just my mind is preoccupied with ripping out kitchens & plastering walls !!
Oh the joys of moving house eh ?

Stigz, we have bought some clothes, but after the pram was purchased this weekend, I keep hoping I have done the right thing, even though I have done so much research

Pebble & Sparkle my pil very similar not offering to purchase anything, we don't ask or expect, but my mum finds it strange. They also miss and think they have a close relationship with their son but rarely contact him or arrange to see him/ us- even when we lived very close to them. This year a few phone calls and texts is all and all started by us. Strange......

I'm up with a poorly ds. Severe tummy ache. He's asleep now but if he wakes again I'm taking him to a &e he was shouting it hurt so much :(. Def docs in the am if not.

Just remembered I bought a 2nd hand stokke Tripp trapp high chair at a yard sale recently (a bargaintastic $40!). We bought one new (with the baby set) for DS and then a 2nd hand one when I was pregnant with dd. They both sit in them now (and will do for several years I reckon - my niece who is a very tall 12 only stopped using hers a couple of years ago). I'm a big fan of them but we definitely couldn't have afforded three new ones!

Though they used to go for crazy prices on ebay when we were in London. Like over £100 when they cost us £130 new. So I watched loads for ages and then pounced when a saw two for a buy it now of £50 (had to drive from London to kings Lynn mind - but was a nice day out though and gave the other one to my best NCT friend).

Lou hope your DS feels better. Is it his lower right tummy that hurts to the touch (appendix area)?

stigz love that response for MIL. Will def slip that into conversation!

So after everyones lists of what they have I came home and pulled everything out of the nursery wardrobe. I'm not even going to list everything here as it took 2 sides of A4 I hadnt realised how many cute Cath Kidston sleepsuits, hats and booties I had picked up on various city shopping trips. Have quite a few 3-6.and 6-12 month bits too.

Up early this morning as excited about our gender 3d scan we're having this evening. Hope s/he had their legs in a better position this time. Going to have an ice cold coke on the way.

loulou how is your ds?

It's 7 am and just done my march (getting slower / more waddly) to the station and already sweaty. Totally got wrong clothes on today and worried I'm going to get too hot / pass out in stuffy London. Last minute shoved a vest top in my bag that I'm not sure even covers my enormous bra properly so I will be putting that on in the way home!

I'm definitely going for the Tripp Trapp high chair - am considering getting one now along with the newborn attachment bit, instead of a bouncy chair (prices OK for both on ebay), but jury is slightly out on that one. All my family have those, and they are great for after they don't need a high chair anymore too.

The IKEA antilop highchair (a whopping £16 with tray) is also amazing. Bomb proof, can whack the tray in the dish washer and as there are no horizontal struts - so if you get a wee climber they can't climb in it. Unless you get my munchkin who pushes footstools from other rooms to stand alongside it to help him climb in and stand on the tray, waving at Mummy.