Nazly, all in all its a long story, but to cut it short as short as possible, I only got pregnant after seeking help and managing to find a hospital that recognised that this was an issue for me and were willing to help. Its been a bit of a journey to get this far and has taken a (very) long time, a lot of time and research. In the end I simply got very lucky in that, I found out about my hospital's approach, its local enough for me and my GP was willing to refer me to the consultant midwife there.
It is my preference, but my preference isn't without foundation. My consultant midwife went to great lengths to reassure me, that despite how its generally viewed, he considered it a medical reason to justify an ELCS as I was clearly suffering from anxiety over it. I was very worried that I wouldn't be taken seriously, particularly as this is my first, but it has been thanks to his involvement. The sad thing is, not every hospital in the country would treat me with the same compassion or understanding. I think thats possibly why my local midwife just doesn't get it as the culture of the two Trusts is so different in that respect.
(The hospital I'm at on the whole, generally has a very personal, proactive and progressive approach for ELCS requests which ultimately makes it work. They realise that it doesn't mean that all women who ask for one will eventually have an ELCS. I know they have had considerable success, in helping both those who go onto have an ELCS and those women who manage to change their minds and pursue other options on their own terms simply from having adequate support and reassurance that they felt comfortable with and feel they can trust. Something that tbh, everyone should get)
In answer to your more general comment about not being allowed an ELCS in the UK unless you have a medical reason, thats not strictly true. In theory you should be able to get an ELCS regardless of whether you have a reason which is considered a medical reason or not in line with the NICE guidelines. The NICE guidelines made the decision to amend their previous advice and to recommend allowing ELCS on demand (as its often wonderfully referred to), as they recognised that there was so much contention over what constituted a medical reason and as a result there were women who were effectively falling through the cracks, due to widespread disparity in care and being forced against their will to have a VB. They decided there was no way to effectively distinguish and diagnosis a 'genuine case' (for want of a better phrase) as it was often a very subjective decision on the part of HCPs.
They looked at research (mainly done outside the UK as there is an absence of research done here) that showed distinct patterns and supported the need to consider requests for ELCS more seriously. Their conclusion was that women asking for an ELCS were generally doing so for a valid reason rather than the more stereotypical frivolous ones that the tabloids suggest. They accepted that unnecessary psychological damage could be caused by restricting access to ELCS. They decided that as they were on balance safe enough and cost effective, to enough to allow them for anyone who really wanted one (provided the woman understood the risks and had been offered counselling if she wanted it) saying that they did not believe it would open floodgates and overburden the NHS by creating a significant increase in the number of CS performed.
The reality... well thats another story as Trusts are not obliged to follow the guidelines. Its become hugely political, incredibly misunderstood and misinterpreted and often ideologically opposed issue - by press, public and health care professionals alike. And has only helped to make the disparity of care worse instead of its intention to make it more consistent. Sadly ironic.
Hope thats a clear enough explanation. I personally believe that no woman really takes the decision to have surgery and all that it involves, lightly and its very wrong to label it as such. I certainly don't think that it is 'the easy option' its made out to be when faced with the reality. Trying to quantify anxiety or how 'valid' a case a woman has, really misses the point.