Due October 2006 - part 4

[nowanearlyNicemum]

there we go - I did it.
just need for you all to find it now...

No not selfish at all girlygale. I did exactly the same with ds3. My parents even came down from Kent thinking I was in labour. I had terrible haertburn too(suprise suprise) so every time I flinched cause of it they both jumped up and said 'you ok?'. Went into hospital,put on the machine and nothing whatsoever. Felt very foolish.
Felt just as foolish an hour ago. Took ds to pre school. All excited telling him about the painting,sand,songs and drawing hed be doing to find it all closed Dont think they open till term starts which for most schools is tomm. So weel try again in the morning.Doh.....

The ward for pregnant mums was in the labour suite. The walls are thin, the doors to the women in labour were open and noise travels. I could hear everything. Even what sex it was at the end.

It's given me the FEAR.

Oh Emily thats a bit off. I would have thought because it wasnt pregnancy related (thinking it was your lungs) you would have gone onto a normal ward.Mind you you probably wouldnt have had much more peace on there either.Well just glad your ok and at home now

welcome to the thread youngmum21 and saka

hope that everyone is doing well.

ive got a midwife appointment this afternoon and thursday is my first antenatal class (which im bricking it about to tell you the thruth lol)

Welcome to the newbies - thanks for those who updated the lists so we can keep it all straight! Am I still the only person due on the 12th?

Saka: have you registered with a local GP? They should be able to slot you in to maternity services - may be a bit late for bloods etc. but they'll prob want to check you over. Also means you have access to the health visitors etc. If you don't get to see a mw and have any questions, there are some professional mw's on Mumsnet who are happy to help. Or you could just try ringing your local antenatal ward direct.

Hope all those who have had scares are feeling better - don't be embarrassed about going into hospitl Girlygale, that's what they're there for. I'd be a wee bit disappointed too - def want to get on to the 'having a baby' stage rather than all this hanging around. Emily: it probably sounded far worse than it was - I can imagine myself swearing through the most uncomplicated labour!

Gingeme: better luck tomorrow . Hope your DS settles down well in nursery.

The bananas and milk remedy seems to work quite well for me for cramps. Also got an XXL bottle of Gaviscon from the GP for hearburn - does it have to taste so bad? Any way to take that soapy taste away? I'm almost rather have the heartburn.

Hi everyone,

Emily, hope you are feeling better. That sounds like a really scary experience. How are you now?

..um..I do have a gp, but they are useless. No midwife, called up to get one, but it was one mess up after another, I was meant to have just hospital care, I called up repeatedly for a midwife, but nothing. I did have a run in with the midwife at the surgery. She was very unpleasant, tried to discuss my situation in the doc's waiting room, totally embaressing me, demanded to know why I wouldnt go to Basildon hospital (heard bad things about it, went there for intial appointment, and it was filthy, nurses, midwives rushed and I felt unsafe there), and got really agressive with me - in public. I was so embaressed. I asked her to lower her voice (nicely), and she lost it, said she wouldnt treat me or my baby, then stormed off.

Ive had no regular care at all through the pregnancy and it is getting to me. Ill see the consultant again in 2 weeks time, Im doing kick counts myself, and Ill prob go to the Gp for bloodpressure etc at some point. To be honest it is a huge struggle. I was treated like some kind of animal at the GPs (there is no other one close enough). They woudlnt take me on until i provided proof of entitlement to nhs services, even though I gave them my brit passport, and I was told that 'there were too many foreigners coming into 'x' when it got too hot abroad for them'. I hate living here, and am trying to move.

Anyway...Ill be alright. If the baby seems quiet, or Ill feel unwell, I guess Ill call up the matenity day ward. Not sure really.

Ive been treated a bit like an unwelcome foreigner since I returned. it must be awful for refugees etc, if I got treated badly, how much worse must it be if English isnt your first language and you dont have a brit passport to wave around.

It was far too late to have any scans which could tell them much - I had one which said placenta etc was alright, it was a boy, no obvious problems. Im sure we will be fine. It has to be.

The main thing is we are safe, and if I am unwell there is always hospitals, they cant turn me away, even if I am made to feel bad. I have to constantly explain why I have no miwife, incomplete notes etc, like it is my fault..

I couldnt stay in Japan, I had to come home with the kids, it would have been suicide to stay. Besides, if you dont live with your husband, you dont get any kind of financial support, we would have starved, not only that they take away your spousal visa...so...what else could I do...

Nevermind... it will be alright

saka x

Saka: I'm sure it will be fine - sounds like you're better off sticking with the care at the hospital. As I said, you can slso get good advice here if you need it. My antenatal appointments have all been 'How are you?' 'Fine' then listen for the heartbeat, so I'm not sure you'd be much better off in the system! I'd strongly consider complaining about the gp and mw (maybe after you've had the baby and things are a bit calmer) as they should NOT be treating you like that . As a patient, you are entitled to a level of care and you're entitled not to be discriminated against because of your circumstances. You made a brave decision to put the safety of your kids and yourself first, and you shouldn't be penalised for that. [OK, so I'm ranting now but I hope you see what I mean ].

Saka

That is DISGUSTING behaviour from your GP. Write a letter to the practice manager, outlining the conversations and say that you are considering going to the papers (especially about the xenophobic comments when you have a Brit passport). Write in the letter that if you don't get a satisfactory response then you are going to write the Primary Care Trust.

If you want any help writing a letter, I'll help anyway I can - my email is [email protected]

I've had shocking medical treatment and it is a personal bugbear when I hear other people receiving the same.

I wish you all the best and don't give up. Fight, even though you are totally exhausted with pregnancy, for what you are entitled to.

---

re: the labour ward. I am pregnant with my second baby and I didn't hear a thing last time. I was really quiet during my labour. Mike says I didn't utter a thing until the pushing bit when I kept asking if I was going to have a c-section and is the baby ok. When I was in there last week, the three women were screamers. I mean: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It was, hmmm, interesting.

Hi all,

Hope you are all well!!

Wuzzlefrazzle, i had my first antenatel class last week and it wasnt as bad as i thought it would be so try not to worry!!!

well, went to the midwife today. they have to send my wee of to the hospital again as there were traces of luco-something (i cant for the life of me remember how she pronounced it)in it, which may be a sign of infection, but fingers crossed alls fine.
as for the baby, everythings great

youngmum - its good to hear that they are not as scary as they seem lol. what sort of stuff do you have to do there?

hope that all you other girlies are ok its surprising how quickly time has gone by

well i go on my own so dont no if it diff if you go with your partner!!!
We had to introduce ourseleves and i got to have a chat with some of the other ladies which is really good!!!
We had to do a bit of group work like write down what we want to be told about like labour,pain relief that sort of thing
I also went on the hospital tour sat just gone which my partner came to and i think he got more out of it then me even though he sed he didnt want to go!!!! lol

Sallyrosie, hope you had a fab trip to London. Sorry I didn't log in all weekend and missed giving you lots of recommendations.

Shocked about your trip to hospital, EmilyT, especially as the mw could so easily have done bloods. 'Looking all right' isn't really an indication. I've been on a preventative iron tablet since about 18wks, as my count was low normal - so there would be no way of telling I needed it without the bloods. Make sure you get another test at 34 wks. Blimey, mine's this week already. Glad you're ok now. btw your description of the noise sounds like overnighting in a hall of residence (not that I've done that for years - sex in a single bed, no thanks!)

Gosh, glad you're ok too girlygale. ikwym about having an early baby. My NCT classes start tomorrow and the last one is only a few days before my due date. Really hope I can get my money's worth. And don't 'pull your socks up and get on with it.' Listen to your body - it's telling you what it needs and if it's rest, it's rest.

Saka, you are not getting the maternity support you are entitled to. You also have the right to choose where you have your baby. I'd recommend going back to your GP for some support and ask what the options are locally. The NCT will be able to help to. Give their pregnancy and birthline a call on 0870 444 8709. They'll either advise or put you in touch with your local branch. (You don't need to be a member to get the benefit.) Really hope you get some positive support soon.

Oh and welcome youngmum21, hope all's well.

Hi all,

Saka - keep your chin up girl and don't let the b*s grind you down, as Swizzler said Midwife care isn't all it's cracked up to be - very much 'how are you?' check the heartbeat and if that's it bye! - I know they must get bored of doing the same thing each time but for some of us this having a baby is quite important!

Emily - thanks for your tips about the labour ward - note to self to include ear plugs on my ever expanding hospital list!

Have felt really tired recently and have started to get sore throat etc, so have decided to work a 4 day week for the last 3 weeks, if I take each Wednesday off hopefully I will last until Friday - have really had enough now, although reading Saka's posts really puts it in persepective.

Finally got travel system so some of the sleepless nights should stop, and have finally found a position to sleep in where I don't get back ache, but still have numb hips to contend with, hopefully it will go when the little bruiser emerges as there won't be too much weight in a localised area. Am getting a bit worried about weight gain - have still not quite put on a stone - how is everyone else doing, or too scared to get on the scales??

hi jmcmugwump

i worry bout weight gain too ive put just ova a stone on and ive still got 8 weeks too go a stone and a half to about two stone is bout average so ive read!

I am still lighter than I was when I first got weighed in this pregnancy (at 18 weeks). I am not too bothered as baby is growing fine and I will end up lighter than my pre-pregnancy weight when I give birth. I started out heavier than I should in the first place so shouldnt put on so much weight anyway - it all depends on your BMI as to your pregnancy weight gain

e.g.
if you start off overweight aim for a 1 stone gain
if you start off normal weight aim for a 2 stone gain
if you start off underweight aim for a 3 stone gain

This link gives a better explanation than me: Pregnancy weight gain

p.s. I havent dieted, I have had a smaller appetite and cannot eat as much at a sitting and have gone off some foods that I would normally have eaten.

anyone into nest mode at the moment? Ive spent the entire evening cleaning the dd's toys that are kept downstairs and putting everything back into it's proper box etc. am mad!! tired and I know I should go to bed........and now the kitchen counters beckon for a tidy up.....! 5 weeks to go as well, can 't be doing this for the next 5 weeks surely?

Hana - Yes, Im nesting too. My friend asked me if I needed anything from the shops, I sent her out for a long list of cleaning things, and when she got back, found myself scrubbing marks out the carpet and trying to get limescale off the loo....Its funny, isnt it!

I wondered if anyone else is having trouble with indigestion. Ive tried the gaviscon liquid, but it makes me feel nauseous. I vomit a small amount when I burp (which is whenever baby moves...as well as when I eat..or think..), I dont have heartburn, more burping. Im also either constipated or the opposite...I eat a lot of prunes etc to try and keep things moving, but it isnt..sorry tmi!

Ive also found my self worrying about the baby again. I stopped worrying after about 16 weeks, then recently find myself obsessively kick counting..I know the circumstances are not good, but I love this baby and want him so much. I guess I feel bad for wanting him when I cant support the one I have financially at the moment. I suppose noone has said 'congratulations' and Ive had a lot of 'that will be hard' or earlier on in the pregnancy 'have an abortion'. I did get as far as calling the clinic, but got hysterical and just couldnt do it. Iv ehad one child, and I look at her. Sure its been hard, but I dont wish she wasnt here. THe baby wasnt planned, but at the time my husband was doing alright, taking his meds for depression and everything was fine financially.

I have no energy to complain, Im a bit sick of struggling. I think Ill manage with the hospital until I have the baby. To be honest Im too embarressed to complain anymore. If I do say anything Im treated as if Im some kind of difficult person, or a nutter. I dont like how that feels at all.

Ill be fine

saka

Nesting instinct has certainly kicked in here and I still have 8 weeks to go! After my bigger boys moved out and there room had finnished being decorated I sorted out my wardrobe and dh's and had 3 bags to take to the charity shop.Sorted ds 3s clothes out and put stuff aside that will fit him in the autumn. Had a massive clear out under our bed too and want to completely change the room round soon. Tidied and cleaned my kitchen cupboards too. Phew!
Yes saka I have that too a bit of sick whenever I burp and find that the Gaviscon isnt realy helping anymore either. I feel very nauseus today too. In fact I feel like c*p and trying to keep a 2 year old entertained is hard enough with a bump let alone when you feel sick too as Im sure youll agree.
Definately my last baby yes realy .....

Hello there. Only a couple of days since I last posted but lots seems to be going on - sorry your hospital trip was so horrible, Emily. I remember with DS the midwife having a go at me for yelling so much (they didn't warn me about the effects of syntocinin so I didn't ask for an eipdural and couldn't have one once the syntocinin kicked in).... I gave her the kind of mouthful of abuse I'd been reserving for my DH. And TBH I didn't give a monkeys who heard me.

I was getting really sick on the Gaviscon and ditched it last week after discovering I was losing a fair bit of weight because I just stopped eating I was so fed up with the heartburn/gaviscon/nausea cycle. I spoke ot a GP friend of mine who said that the over-the-counter dose of Zantac was fine to take as an alternative and is often prescribed, so I've started taking it myself and am totally won over - life back to normal in terms of diet now.

Saw the consultant yesterday and - gulp - am all booked up for the 18th September for an elective. He measured me and we found out that this one is going to be a large one (not a surprise - DS was 3 weeks early and managed to be 8lb), so that and problems last time and back-to-back position all conspired to come together to make it such an easy decision in the end - both he and MW recommended it without reservation so am happy I'm doing the right thing. So won't be able to yell at MW this time (but will just enjoy the copious farting instead that I am told comes with the territory when you have a C-S)

Desperately need some input on the name front. what do people think of 'Avalon' as a name? DH has decided that my choices (Hannah, or Rachel, or Susannah) are too boring and he is really really keen on this. I can kind of see me getting used to it (and definately see how we can shorten it to Ava which I quite like), but am worried that it may be seen to be a poncification too far (esp as the family name is double-barrelled as it is)..... please please let me know what you think (and please don't hold back if you don't like it). Really don;t know what to do on this one....

Have to say I'm not keen on Avalon (and it's my niece's middle name). But then I'm biased as I love Susannah (DH not keen either - what is weong with these people?).

I'm certainly not losing any weight with the indigestion and heartburn - to make you all feel much better, I've put on nearly 2.5 stone so far - and still 5 weeks to go

Hi all,

I've just been put on iron tablets because my iron levels were down, does anyone know if it's ok to take pregaday with gaviscon?

Gingeme and girlygale - know what you mean about entertaining 2 yr olds and sticking them infront of dvd's. My ds now has an addiction to postman pat because he's watched it so much, I keep feeling really guilty but it's a guaranteed way of getting an hour to myself to get jobs done or put my feet up.

I'm not sure on Avalon either - we are struggling to come up with a girls name too - we had it set on Megan, then changed to Jessica, but didn't like the idea of her being a 'Jessie', and are now thinking of Isabelle - although something inside me keeps going back to Megan. Our surname starts with a G so Meggy G, Meg G not sure how it sounds!

I've put on over 2 stone and have 7 weeks left to go. Seriuosly worrying now how I'll lose it in the winter. Used to be bulimic (years ago so totally over it) but do tend to have the odd Obsessive moment - so worried about that and PND. Any ideas how to keep everything in perspective?

Saka - I am so sorry to read that things are crap for you. There is nothing I can say that will make it better for you, just that we are all here and use us to vent to. Wish there was something practical I could actually do to help. No matter what - just remember that what you have done and what you are doing is very brave and you are an incredible woman, DV is quite close to home for me so I know how hard it is to leave, especially to another country with a child in tow. Hang on in there - what you are doing is right, and it will get easier - sorry corny I know. And ... congratulations! xxx

No sorry dont like Avalon sounds like somewhere in Spain or something. Love Hannah though.
Whiffy it is actualy Zantac that makes me feel sick too. Wow 15 days till you meet your little (big) one! I bet your so excited? Thats one thing my Mum said about me is how quiet I was during labour. Except the horrid noise I made while being very sick with ds1 that was about it. I remember whilest in labour with ds3 the lady labouring in the next room screaming and screaming my mw actualy went into her room to ask her to be quiet needless to say her baby was born screaming and they were opposite me on the ward after and the baby seemed to cry the whole time there too.
girlygale I love the name Megan. My best friend is called Megan and she is lovely.

I quite like Avalon. But then I like unusual names. I think its pretty (when she's a little girl) but also a good name for a grown up woman.

Had a lovely time in London: camden market, hyde park, selfridges, home. Perfect - although HOT and STICKY and SMELLY. Glad to be back in the clean air (quite disgustingly all my snot was black this morning when I blew my nose...urrrggghh)

Saka - sorry you're having a crap time. Speak to the 'Supervisor of Midwives' regarding your MW. She isn't employed by the GP practice. They are however responsible for their staff and I'm sure would hate to think that you'd been made to feel unwelcome especially as you'll undoubtedly be seeing a fair bit of them with (soon) 2 kids! So maybe a quiet word with your GP or the practice manager?
I'd love to be having just hospital care mind, my community MW is crap. Didn't give me anti-D (I'm rhesus neg) because they 'don't do it at the RVI' (local big hospital as opposed to MWled unit she wanted me to book at). Well, what a load of bollocks. ALL hospitals give it. She wouldn't sort it out at all because she's a 'Durham' midwife and the RVI is a 'Newcastle' hospital. Grrrr...Had to phone and sort it all out myself. Thankfully the MWs there are lovely.

Am now fully nested (apart from nursery curtains...still unwashed) and READY for this baby. Keen for labour to start ANYTIME NOW PLEASE. In reality think its going to be a while. Head not yet engaged and I'm supposedly almost 37 weeks. But not unusual 2nd time round...
Had unbelievable shopping karma today - went to get last bits and bobs for labour bag: not only was dd well behaved but everything I needed was reduced - from the little miniature shampoos in boots, to the new washbag to the new PJs. Then bought some perfume and got a free little trial pack of shower gel etc.
Even the fresh pineapple I bought to attempt to induce labour was 2 for 3 quid!

Anyway, hope all are well. Am really quite jealous of you having your section booked whiffy! Am going to go and eat more pineapple and bounce on the stairs until my dd wakes up!