Due October 2006 - part 4

[nowanearlyNicemum]

there we go - I did it.
just need for you all to find it now...

Gingeme, yes it's my first baby. I veer between panic and exhilaration. DH and I have just moved to Brighton, where I grew up and where my parents still live (Saka - it's lovely here by the sea, the schools are good and I'm getting really excellent antenatal care and seeing the same midwife regularly!). I'm still working in London, so the commute is a bit tiring, but could be so much worse. The trains are really very good.

Without wishing to sound 'knit-your-own-yoghurt' I'm hoping for a waterbirth at home, but it does all depend on the fibroid issue. They're very into HB here in Brighton - encouraging and experienced. Anyone have any views?

Thanks for the welcome!

Gingeme - thanks for the waterbirth info - discussed it with the midwife today and she seems very pro - I can even keep my pants on up til the last minute if I want to but she says usually even people who are a bit aprehensive about the whole naked in a pool of water thing end up naked as by then they don't care!
Will def give it a go as I can always get out if I don't like it.

Am really starting to look forward to it all now, baby is at least the right way up even tho' not engaged, but with 5 weeks to go is probably a bit early for that - have been told to go on all fours and wiggle bum in the air to try and get the baby to shift round a bit so it is fully at the front rather than sideways on - I can just picture the look on OH's face as I type ha ha

Off to go wiggle now!!

I would love a water birth - but I pretty much had to beg for a home birth, felt like I was asking for some gold or some thing when mentioned to MW. asking for a WB is probably going to make her scream.

On a silly note, DP made a move this morning, then commented that my nipples are tasting very sweet... I was so embarassed... leaky boobs... oh the shame poor old DP...x

Hi DashingRedhead jmcmugwump and emzickle,

Its my first to and I have booked for home birth backed fully by midwife it was her suggestion I told her I'm a complete wimp and she talked it over with me and filled me with confidence I feel really confident now and can't wait for it all to happen but if I have to go to hosp I will be there in a second what is best for baby and me so no fixed plans, going to use Birth pool in a box for water birth at home to pumped it up at weekend (or should I say DH did) it was fantastic totally recomend it to anyone wanting water birth at home. so already to go now just waiting for weeks to go past.

top tip - ikea 99p shower curtains to cover the floor at home they are thicker than plastic dust sheet and you can just chuck them out when finished their so cheap.

good luck girls with hb keep strong and do what you feel best, Ive met a lot of anti home birth people ready to tell me I'm endangering my babies life and I'm being stupid especially with my first baby but form all the research and midwifes and doctors I have spoken to, hb providing you are having a normal and healthy pregnancy is safer than a hospital birth this is a proven fact. however I am very pro hospital birth I beleive that you make the choice you feel happiest with and then you are relaxed and this can only be good for the baby and you, and if thats going to hospital you go if its staying at home you stay. everyones personal choice is diffrent and should be respected.

Had leaky nipple thing to if i squeeze them now yellow stuff comes out I asume this is the first milk or is this not right?

my right ankle has swollen up and I have spd oh and piles (sorry to be gross) this has all happened in the last week.

oh the joys

Emzickle - am amazed you let your DP anywhere near your breasts, I'm snarling if DH so much as rolls over in my direction. It's a smell thing though rather than anything else - I am having the usual horny PG dreams but just can't follow through because have developed hyper-sensitive sense of smell (have twice now had to get up in middle of night and have a shower because I thought I smelt too much myself...). I had a wax the other day because of planned C-S and nearly floored DH when he mistakenly assumed it was all for his benefit.....

hi everyone, hope you are all ok.

emzickle, LOL at your dp

well, wish me luck ladies, its our first antenatal class tonight and im not really looking forward to it.

I'd really like to try a water birth too

Well, tour of hospital this evening, so we get to see all the scary machines (the forceps last week were bad enough). Also facing battle of the bus - unlike my normal journey, the buses are pretty packed and I'm rarely offered a seat. Will have to sum up courage to ask. Def feels like baby has now dropped - notes from last appointment say 3-4/5 engaged and getting v. uncomfortable. Also baby seems to be kicking harder - I thought movement decreased in last weeks? Have come to the conclusion that s/he doesn't like me sitting down. Well tough

Has anyone seen the BabyCentre fascinating fact today? I absolutely creased up with laughter but DH is threatening to report me to social services:

Fascinating fact:
?In the Huichol tribe of Mexico, the presence of the baby's father [during labour] may be required so that a string can be tied round his testicles on which the woman can pull as each contraction mounts to a peak of pain.?

• Rediscovering Birth, Sheila Kitzinger.

Dashing read - brilliant idea just off to write it into my birth plan LOL

We can face prosecution together then!

Oh love that idea redhead very much
I dont think Id like a homebirth especialy a water birth. Would be just my luck the pool would pop and it would mean water in my flat as well as the flat downstairs. Dont think Id risk it for a biscuit!
Yes emmy1 thats your foremilk. It does get whiter as it comes in then looks like cows milk only a lot thinner. Bit like skimmed milk.And you may all find this disgusting but it is quite sweet to the taste as I have tried it. Well curiosity got the better of me and I just licked a bit.
lol whiffy. I know what you mean about the smell thing. Was holding my neice last night and she did the tiniest bit of sick on my shoulder. I got straight home had a bath scrubbed myself till I was absolutelt sure the smell had gone. Put all my clothes in the wash even though Id only had them on that evening simply because all I could smell was baby sick!

Sounds good idea!!

I had my ante-natal class on Monday, it was for 2nd time mums and grandparents - a few interesting things came from it ... you probably all know this anyway but ...

If you put the baby straight on your bare tummy, within 20 mins it will 'wriggle' its way up to your breast to start sucking ... I kept my tee-shirt on during labour with dd, and she laid over the top for ages ... but I can't help but feel that we both missed out on something special all because of my dignity and embarressment - so this time, I will forgoe my embarressement and get my tits out and let the baby lay on me!!!!

HELP! dd starts playschool tommorrow!! I am going to stay with her tommorrow morning, but will leave her there from Monday. She is so clingy when we go to toddler groups - or if I (Try to) leave her at the creche at church, and if we go somewhere that she doesn't know ... well we've had it. Yet with family and close friends she doesn't want to know me and will quite happily say goodbye and get on with it!!! I know that this is good for her, and that it is something she will have to get over, but the thought of leaving her hysterical and her staying that way (like she has done for over half hour in creche until they brought her back to me) breaks my heart!!!

Crickey - what a time to be pregnant and not be able to have a drink!!!!!!!

Hi all

Theres a lot going on here today so hard to keep up with everything!!!

Hi dashingredhead!!!

Waterbirth id probably concider it if i didnt get embarresesd about the idea of being naked then again just thinking bout some one looking at my bits is enough to put me off labour all together

Re the milk - whats also interesting is that if you have mastitis the milk doesn't taste the same on that side - more salty. Its a real pain in the butt as the baby doesn't like to feed on that side but they have to or you won't get better...

Re homebirths - they seem to be very 'in' at the minute. I wouldn't have one - if things go wrong they can go wrong really really fast and a midwife isn't able to do a crash CS, give you an emergency blood transfusion when you're bleeding heavily afterwards (yep, happened to my friend) or intubate the baby if it comes out 'flat' (happened to my mum with my little bro).
While looking back you might be able to say that you had a straightforward labour and delivery you never know whats going to happen and I just wouldn't take the risk. If something is going wrong I want the baby out THEN (they aim to get baby out within 15 minutes of the MW calling for a crash section in hospital) - not 40 minutes later by the time the paramedics have arrived and driven me to hospital etc.
Flame me if you like, tell me I'm wrong, and do what you prefer for your baby - but make a properly informed choice and not just one full of the current pro home birth propaganda.

thanks for the animal tips Dogmum/Gingeme. My sister in Milton Keynes has a lovely retriever, so maybe we should pay a visit. (We generally all meet up at my parents they do not always bring the dog.)

Welome Dashingredhead. I am in Brighton too! Are you about on 26th Sept as we had tentatively talked about meeting up that day or are you still working then? I commuted up to London when pregnant with DD and it was tiring. If you have a monthly season ticket you can travel in first class during pregnancy. Re homebirth, I have not asked for one, but a friend of mine has had two lovely home births here. I think they are struggling to resource them though at the moment.
Sallyrosie I can see where you are coming from, as cannot see myself having a home birth, but I think the stats are actually really good for successful homebirths. Even if you are at the hospital, you still have to wait for surgeons etc if you need c-section etc

Girlygale hope DD is OK at playgroup

Scan for me tomorrow to see if placenta has moved so fingers crossed

majormoo - hope that scan goes well

there were easily 100 people at the parent craft class last night!! loads! got to go on the tour of the labour ward etc. the normal delivery room in the labour ward frightened the life outta me lol looked very surgical.

hope that everyone is doing well and feeling alright xoxox

Welcome DashingRedHead. Sorry, no info on fibroids though. Hope all else is well. Glad to hear things are feeling more positive, Saka. I think we all get a lot of support from the mums on here - glad it's working for you too. Sorry to hear about your SPD emmy. Marthahm would be our resident expert on this. I expect she'll stop by with her wisdom at some point.

emmy, I agree that everyone seems to have opinions on what sort of birth is best. One of the ladies in my antenatal class has chosen to go elsewhere and I don't think the other ladies meant to criticise, but it sounded like it. I think they were just defending their own choices. I just said, 'Well I'm happy with where I'm going, but isn't it great that we can choose.' Conversation soon moved on. One of the ladies is considering a home birth too. I was born at home - the only place my Dad was allowed to be present (nearly) 40 years ago.

Everything crossed for the scan tomorrow, majormoo. (retriever sounds perfect for the job in hand btw.) I'll be having my own small crisis - about 40 people turning up expecting to be fed and wined (dp's 40th b'day bash.) I intend to swipe a bottle out of each case to hide for a few months time though. I was already a glass of champagne up by 9 this morning (not bad even for an unpregnant person!) as it's his birthday today. Must brush my teeth again before my 34 wk check-up this mornning. Have a good weekend all, I doubt I'll get the chance to login again.

Haven't been on for ages so good to catch up with everyone and welcome to the new girls. Glad that you are looking at things more positively Saka.

Clon, I did both NCT and NHS antenatal classes and found the NHS ones far better as they were more realistic. You were told things as they were and we had the most fantastic midwife teaching us. I am going back for a refresher course with her next week and can't wait as she really makes you feel as though you can ask ANYTHING. Plus, I am still in contact withb the ten or so mothers who were at teh NHS sessions for last PG. They all live locally and we meet up regularly which I don't really do with NCT group anymore. Make sure to exchange e-mail addresses as it is a great way to inform one another of births and ask a whole load of questions. the amount of "is it normal for ...' e-mails to be sent in the early hours of the first few months was quite something!

I had a dataing scan this week just so that the midwives were all agreed that everything was fine with the baby. She now weighs 6lb and is definitely a she which ios good as I had a dream the other day that I had a little boy called Archie and as soon as I cleaned up after the birth, I went home to sell all of the girl clothes on E-bay. That made me feel like a very guilty mother indeed! It was amazing to see her so grown and strange to think that the next time I see her will be in person.

Eleanor, Eloise or Sophie? Not quite decided but may opt for Eloise as I am half French and used to love the Kay Thomson books as a child. What do you think of these names?

Is it too early to be taking raspberry leaf tablets at 35 + 4 weeks or shoudl I wait until week 37 or so? I went 10 days' overdue with DS and would love to not go for so long this time around, especially as we have some help starting a week after due date.

Make the most of your time off work to all those of you leaving soon and get those feet up!

Morning All
Can I have your views on just how interested/involved your DP/DH is?
Mine does listen and will do things if I ask him to. But just doesnt ask any questions, wonder about things, talk to bump etc. Will back rub if asked, run bath if asked, do laundry if asked, put cot together if asked. But nothing off of his own back. Is it just mine? Making me feel v lonely. Not even sure I want him in delivery suite.

Tigerlion: love all those names. Eleanor's on our list too. Also like Eloise - or what about the French spelling of Heloise with a silent H (can't do accents on here!)? I was keen on the idea but DH vetoed it as it was the name of a family car... speaking of spellings would also go for Sophy rather than Sophie, but that's a personal preference.

MSTG: I think it can be hard for men to get really involved till they actually see the baby. It's also a tough adjustment time for them too - I tned to forget that DH also gets stressed over the idea of suddenly having a baby to look after (can't remember if it's your first). 'Involved' partners don't necessarily make fab fathers and vice versa. Having said that, if it's bothering you talk to him about it - he might be surprised that his behaviour is coming across as uninterested.

Dashingredhead: love the idea of the string. May suggest it to DH .

Also had tour of hosptial last night, which was very nice. Labour rooms all en-suite, clean and pretty comfortable. They also had a 'Birth partner' room where your partner could go for a break - starting to regret bringing DH on the tour now, as he'll probably be in there the whole time reading the paper!

Swizzler

Its actually our 3rd (DD 11 DS 7). He drove me mad to have this baby for years, and whilst he is not an actively bad parent/partner. He is just bored and disinterested. Have talked to him and he just said, fine, I wont watch anymore football or practice guitar etc etc. Its not that I want him to stop doing the things he loves, I just want him to have an interest in this baby or at least his wife!

sallyrosie

I really take offence to the comment you made re home births I havent chosen a home birth as it is 'in' at the mo as you say like some kind of fashion, it is somthing my hubby and I have spent a lot of time and effort deciding on and reaserching not just flipilently decided on a whim with out a thought for my unborn child to fit in with the latest fad.

I have now been fully informed as to all the pros and cons and like you originally before I was thought it to be risky, but when I looked at the real facts and talked to helthcare prof's I could see I had been mis informed before, all births come with risk and there are no guarentes even in hosp, but as my midwife said providing your having a healthy normal pregnacy home birth is safer than hospital this was confirmed by other health care prof's. I agree things can go wrong however with first births things tend to be a lot slower and as you have a midwife with you at all times at home signs of problems are picked up a lot quicker than when you are at hospital ( you tend to be left on your own for periods of time as they are busy with others)and action can be taken to prevent or treat before an emergancy situation arises. at the birth you have 2 mid's with you and they do carry all the necessary resus kits, oxygen and tubes - suction etc with them god forbid you may need it. they have drugs with then to prevent the bleeding and to get the placenta out. they can even stich you. I have total faith in my midwifes skills to recognise the signs of problems and help me make informed choices during our birth this is what she is trained to do and she has done many home births sucessfuly.

so pherhaps you should do some more research before you make such a comment I'm not saying home birth is for everyone and everyone should do it and I have nothing against a hospital birth and will be straight there at any sign it is needed I have respect for everyones free choice and just because you wouldnt do it doesnt mean its wrong.

OK, so not 1st time nerves then! Perhaps he's worrying about something else?

Or you could just go for Dashingredhead's Huichol tribe approach - that would get his attention

emmy01 - I think you misunderstood me a bit - perhaps I didn't word things very well. I am not trying to offend you, but I do have a different view on it. It is entirely up to you whether to have a home birth or not, but the thing that gets me every time is that you just never know if you're going to be one of the unlucky ones. If you are, then I think you are best off in a hospital and that's why I wouldn't have a home birth. I would not have confidence in the ability of even an extremely experienced midwife to properly resuscitate a newborn in the community. And syntometrine can help prevent PPH but it doesn't mean it won't happen, and I wouldn't want to be waiting for an ambulance with a cord prolapse. All these things are ridiculously rare and not likely to happen - but what if???
For those who have no problems, then home birth is great - I think it is a crying shame that the way the NHS works you have to have a home birth to guarantee that you'll have two experienced midwives with you throughout but hey, that's life.
And we've obviously been speaking to different healthcare professionals as the ones I've met have a slightly different view - there was some interim guidance published by NICE recently stating that for low risk women you may be more at risk if you deliver anywhere other than a consultant led unit. I don't think that the data is there to say strongly one way or another yet.
If you want a home birth then go for it. I hope that everything goes well for you and your family to be. But don't condemn me because I have a differing point of view.