TTC 10+++ Months Grads Thread

[sweetgrouch]

Decided to start the new thread seeing as the old one is filling up.

euro - I'm happy your recovery is going better, I cringed when I heard you were vomiting after the CS. It's amazing that little centime is breathing on her own. It won't be long before you can cuddle her full time
In case you haven't had your fill of unsolicited advice: I found a hair dryer really helped with letdown before pumping.

bunny - Congratulations!

free - You might want to have an honest chat with your friend. One of mine was a bit hurt I didn't ask (she had just had a MC after longish TTC). Everyone is different: I thought I would be an insensitive jerk to ask and she felt helping with a hard won one would give her more hope.

free I'm sleeping pretty well (and glad the preggo insomnia and bladder issues have passed), just waking up once or twice a night to express. Moooooo!

sweet raises a good point about your friend - she might want to be asked. If not, hiring a helping hand might be the way forward. Mr euro is already halfway through his fortnight's paternity leave, which is awful. He has however saved most of his annual leave this year, so aside from setting aside a bit to use at Xmas, he will take the rest of it when she first comes home. Despite my determination to be a relaxed parent before all this happened, I'm not sure it is going to happen with a very dinky baby who I am used to seeing strapped up to monitors for checking every breath she takes.

sweet thanks for the hairdryer tip!

You and sweet are right euro. I'll ask if she can imagine watching the child for a couple of hours if I am in desperate need of a sleep. Worse she can say is no.

Euro - belated congrats. I did write something on the other thread but it might have been missed. I'm delighted you finally have little one in the real world but sorry about the jaundice and the CS difficulties. I hope she is out of the hospital very soon and in your arms all the time. How are you feeling generally?

Free - I think it's worth asking friends for help if it's available. Otherwise I don't know if post natal doulas are available where you are. Here they are v flexible and I think reasonably priced too. They can help for a few hours a day whether is looking after baby or just helping with housework or cook meals for freezing. I think they are well worth the money. I will have similar issues as Mr Sea can only take a week off once baby arrives.

hello ladies - how is everyone? how are you and centime euro? I'll be 38 weeks on wednesday. no sign of any softening or dilation at my check up today. My security blanket of labour "preparation" is taking up quite a lot of time each day. lets see if it actually does anything.

Hi free. Wow not long to go! What labour prep are you doing free? Am I right in thinking you are using the epi-no? What do you think? Any insight?

Euro - how are you feeling post birth? Is centime home yet?

euro love the name :)

free we are all hoping that the epi no does the trick :)

I have to admit I didn't do much prep as I thought I was having a CS until about 10 days before I took massage oil and a play list etc, I didn't use any of it, too high on gas and air the one thing I was advised to take was lucozade, I'm not a fan of the stuff but it did help, some ladies had the glucose sweets

euro gah I am so curious to know the name but not on FB. Would you mind if someone pm-ed it to me?

Sea I find the epi-no easier than regular perieanal (spelling?) massage. Other than that no insight. Will only able to tell after birth. And even then I'm not sure if I'll be able to tell if there was any direct cause and effect.

buzz there is no gas and air here. There is an IV pain killer I forget the name of, or epidural. So I'm preparing using following mostly daily

Epino
Peri whasit massage
Yoga
Drinking raspberry leaf tea
Sitting over a steaming pot of dried hay or cornflower blossom in boiling water
Pelvic opening sitting positions
Speed reading and practising juju sundins birth skills.
Acupuncture

I'm ready to take the drugs when I need them. They're going to pump antibiotics into me anyway due to GBS positive result. But unless my waters go early I would like to stay home with Mrfree and my doula as long as possible. But I guess it's largely down to luck on the day. I just want to come home with a healthy baby and no serious permanent damage.

Oops Acupuncture is weekly. Sorry for mega post. We were also advised to have sex to get things going. Mrfree has generously offered his services whenever I'm ready. Ha ha ha ha.

ha ha free* He might as well make the most of it while he can :) I can pm you if you like, I'm curious as to where you actually are, sitting over a steaming pot if you can stay home then do, they say its much better for you as you are calmer in your own environment

Ooh Free - you sound like you are well prepared. I read the JuJu book too. I found it insightful. I am reading the Maggie Howell one now - both on Euro's recommendation. Thinking of getting the CDs next. I have to say I have never heard any positive birth stories in RL but the books seem to be full of them. Are you excited about the birth?

Buzzy - How's little mini B? Did you find the gas and air helpful? I have heard v mixed reviews and some friends in RL told me it made them sick.

Euro - How are you and little one?

How's everyone else?

Not much going on here. Had a check up and was told baby already head down at 31 weeks. I have a scan on Sat. I can't wait to see the baby as last time I had a scan was 20 weeks! He is constantly wiggling and now doing very weird jerky movements as well. Sickness has returned big time. I am counting the days until I see the baby.

free - I am also curious where you are located. Gas isn't offered here either. I know one friend was offered morphine during labour . I dealt with contractions for several hours before choosing the epideral, it was the right choice for me and I ended up being very happy with my birth experience overall. I think your goals for labour are very healthy . Mr and I had lots of sex, I ate spice and did everything in the book to get things going Mini was born 14 days late. Hopefully the tricks work better for you!

I was like buzz and didn't prepare much for labour, mostly because the more I know the more I freak myself out. Not knowing too much (other than the essentials) or having a rigid plan helped me just take the labour as it came.

sea - already 31 weeks! Have you found the baby's head being down has relieved pressure on your bladder? Enjoy seeing your little one on the scan. Despite minor hiccups, which are bound to happen to everyone, my birth experience was very positive, the staff was fantastic where I was and I left feeling like I could happily give birth to more children if we choose to have them or are lucky enough to ever get diffed again.

Euro - glad to see the picture of mini. She looks like she is fattening up nicely. Are you getting more cuddles in? How are you feeling?

buzz - MiniBee's teeth are so cute! She is really gorgeous!

It's been a bit of a rough week in the grouch household, mini got rosiola - our first high fever - and vaccinated. I also had to decline a dream job opportunity because we could not move due to impending house renos and Mr not being able to find work in the area close to the potential job. I feel a bit deflated, but I think that's to be expected. Time to refocus the job hunt and move forward.

Sweet is mini ok now? So sorry to hear about high fever. That must feel incredibly stressful. Bummer about the job too. Maybe a better opportunity is coming your way. I once lost my job And was miserable. I ended up going travelling, meeting Mrfree and reading about the sell off of my old department to another crapper company whilst on the beach. I know it's not the same but hopefully the right thing will come along for you.

sea one thing I do like about the epi-no is that you can see progress. So on my first try with it I could just about take a 5cm diametre and today I managed 8cm. Again I don't know if this will actually help but it's good for confidence. I'm not really excited to be honest. I just feel unprepared. However when I think of MrFree holding our baby I do feel emotional so I guess on a deeper level I'm happy. I fully expect bonding to take a while.

sweet hope mini sweet is on the mend, that must have been terrifying, sorry about the job :( its tough when there are so many balls to juggle, I hope you find something that you love, its important to enjoy what you do

sea here gas and air is one of the first things they'll offer you, I was induced so once they get you started on it they are not keen to interfere so getting them to have a look up there involved having to have pethedine {which I said I never wanted} and wouldn't again, it can cross over to the baby{making baby sleepy} which was my main concern but it just made me spaced out, yes I know that is what it is supposed to do but I couldn't even sit on the birthing ball, that made me sick twice. The gas and air can you make you feel sick but I didn't have a problem with it, high as a kite on it I did want an epidural but never got it, firstly they are a bit reluctant and then everyone else on the labour ward were having problems so I was not important to deal with.

I think with positive experiences it all comes down to expectation, I didn't do any prep, didn't watch obem, knew I wasn't going to have the birth I was hoping for {water} I have to say I felt traumatised by it for about 3 months, it was something I had never experienced before, it was hard and exhausting and at times painful, for me the inducement drugs wore off so everything slowed down at the end so pushing went on for ages and after being awake for 25 hours I was well and truly knackered, honestly my first thought when she flew out of me was 'thank fuck she is out'

You also have to remember that not all women are honest about childbirth, some will say it was easy others will dramatise it up, I don't think reading up about it or watching programmes would have made much difference, I did my NCT course and that was it

free here they are full on about bonding with your child, doing skin on skin breastfeeding, it will take both you and the baby time to get to know each other, we didn't do that much skin on skin with BB but have a wonderful bond, also didn't do much tummy time but she was the first in my NCT group to sit up by herself and to roll around. As the time passes you will know what is right for you as a parent, it just takes time and the first few weeks are the confusing ones as you and your baby get to know each other and work out a routine etc :)

I think I need steel cap boots as I put the stair gates up today and have caught my toes on the bottom metal bar several times, the air has been blue :)

Sweet - Poor mini sweet. That sounds rough.. on her and you. I hope she is doing better.
Sorry to hear about the job as well. That's a shame but I am sure something else will come along. You are brave to attempt house renov with little sweet!
I admire you for the sex. Probably TMI but Mr S and I have hardly DTD since before IVF cycle. We were told no sex during the downreg process and ivf under any circumstances. Then I got overstimulated and the 1st 4 months was so hellish with morning sickness so we didn't do anything plus ARGC said no sex until 12 weeks. We tried a few times in the second trimester but it didn't go so well. I think my large size was a bit of shock and to be honest now we have pretty much given up. We have discussed it as I am quite worried about that aspect of our marriage but he seems to think that post baby (and healing etc) things will go back to normal. I really hope so. I do fear long term TTC, ivf and pregnancy might have just broken our sex life. I think we have a strong marriage. I just hope it can survive lack of sex for what will be almost 1 year. Am I right to be worried? Is this normal?

Buzz - Ouch that sounds very sore (toe that is) and the childbirth even more so. . TBH I don't know what to expect but after reading the 2 books Euro suggested I am more willing to give a natural birth a go. Before I just wanted to go with an epidural ASAP but now I am thinking I might keep that as an option rather than a definite.

Free - Your epi-no progress sounds v encouraging. My doula told me that to get to 8cm is excellent and 9 would be even better. I would be really interested to know if all your prep pays off. I really hope so for you. Pls pls report back!
I am pretty sure I will try it too. Still haven't ordered it. I was told not to start until 37 weeks. I might also give the raspberry leaf tea a go but want to check with my midwife first that it's okay.

Have any of you ladies notice that people really start to treat you differently when you are in your 3rd trimester and have a visible bump. Nowadays I get offered a seat pretty much as soon as I get on the tube. Random people smile at me on the street and strangers come up to congratulate me. I have obviously been living in the big smoke too long as I just can't get used to it.

sea here too only a handful of times. We were advised by TCM Dr to abstain for first 15 weeks and since then both of us has found it a struggle. I think talking about it is good.

Despite having more than 10 days to go my midwife is keen to avoid me going over. She reckons the kid is already 3.3 kg and ideally wants it out before it gets over 3.5kg. I'm 0.5cm dilated -today at least- and she reiterated in her opinion it'll be a slow labour and birth. Im not sure if I believe her but I wouldn't object to a slightly early arrival. Mrfree is just starting to understand a due date is an estimation, yes it really can take 3 days from the first regular contractions to birth and yes once it starts I'd prefer him not to go to meetings. If I had a friend that could sit with me I'd feel better but I don't and explained I'll be less likely to panic if he's here.

The 'just calling to see how you are' calls have started. So far they make me smile. Let's see how long they are amusing.

Sea I don't have strangers commenting -other than the drunk 'ohhh there's a baby in there' small children 'ohhh there's a baby in there' and a couple who obviously had no social filter pointing and shouting 'look look look that woman is highly pregnant' but the neighbours all smile and stop for a chat.

'Buzz' hope your foot has recovered. Thanks for your sharing insight and encouragement on birth bonding and parenting.

free I did worry as abit especially when the stupid health visitor said to me 'i'm sure you'll still bond with your baby even f you are not breast feeding' I cried all the way home then realised thats its more than just getting your boob out, its the contact you have and you'll have lots of it as you constantly have to hold your baby to feed, change snuggle etc I'm always hugging, kissing putting fingers in mouth to check for teeth :) so there is constant contact

Just read an article about how morning sickness is a good sign etc, also says that babies have higher IQ's too so BB will be a frickin genius then

buzz your comment about the stairgate made me think of this blog:
www.eehbahmum.com/top-10-things-you-will-do-as-a-parent-that-you-will-not-like/

sea I wish I could report back whether any of those techniques work. They certainly gave me faith in my body.

sweet that sounds like a tough week. I hope mini is ok now.

Centime is doing ok. She has graduated from HDU to SCBU, which is the lowest grade of neonatal care. She just needs to gain weight now. She passed her birthweight this week, which is good. The problem we are having is that boob or bottle tire her out. She takes a bit enthusiastically and then falls asleep and has to have the rest down her gastric tube. She hates the tube and pulls it out all the time, and we could get rid of it if she would only finish a feed, but there is no reasoning with her . I am willing her to get the milk down as that is her route home, but it is just not happening. I miss her so much when we leave. The hospital visits several times a day are exhausting and relentless, but I can't not see her. I hate the limbo. I have a baby but I don't HAVE a baby. But she's uber cute, which helps me to keep going.

hi euro very glad to hear from you and of centime's progress. It's great she passed her birth weight. I am sorry you are suffering this exhausting limbo and wish centime a fast recovery and that she is going home with you soon.

buzz stupid HV. I am sure BB is a genius already

euro Feeding is a tricky thing especially when they are so small, would they not let you feed her a bit, let her sleep then feed her again instead of putting the tube down her, it would take longer but fighting the tube is taking up her energy too, I couldn't imagine where she gets her feistiness from I understand that they want to put as much milk down her but babies are willful things, have you been on the premie boards on here for ideas???

free I missed your post about the size of the baby BB was 3.7 kilos when born 40+1, an NCT girl had a 4.2 baby, we were both induced though, I think here if your baby is over 4.5 kilos they will offer you a CS. The thing is its all a guess for them, the baby might be smaller or larger and your EPI NO is making sure it comes safely, its also hard to know how long it will take for things to kick off, I sent Barry away at the beginning as I knew he would just get on my nerves, which when it kicked off and he came back and started chiming in the midwives at the pushing stage I got pissed off and told him 'I can only take instructions from one person' poor man he was only trying to help
And already slightly dilated hopefully things will happen sooner rather than later so you can hold your little baby :)

sea are you in the UK??? I wanted an epidural right at the beginning but I had to be in established labour first not just rocking up with my bag waiting to be induced yep give natural birth a go, you won't know until you try and you'd regret it if you didn't :) plus the drugs are there for you if you need them :)

I do have a bruise on my toe but now walk around lifting my knees up :)

I feel I should have peals of wisdom for you as I have crossed to the other side but don't as I'm just making it up as I go along

BB has had a bug so lots of vom and explosive nappies, also teething again so even more explosive nappies, when I lean over the cot I have a whiff of her bottom just to check, if I'm still unsure I stick a finger in the nappy, don't get me started on snotty noses

Hi everyone,

euro - It's fantastic that centime has passed her birth weight! I agree with Buzz that feeding is tricky even when they aren't tiny. The limbo sounds awful. I really hope that her feeding gets sorted out sooner rather than later.

buzz - Yuck to the explosive nappies. I haven't had any vomiting yet, I'm sure that it will be disgusting when it happens. I can't believe BB is already getting more teeth. I bet she'll have a full smile before mini cuts his first . I also must add at the twit who told you that you wouldn't bond without breastfeeding - what a crock! I was told mini wouldn't bond or breastfeed because he was taken away for medical purposes in the 2 hours after birth instead of having skin to skin.

sea - I think every couple and relationship is different. I think if you're worried you should talk with mr. sea. I know everything felt different when I was pregnant so sex was a big adventure with Mr because we were doing things that normally wouldn't work for me and I was abnormally large and awkward. The healing after birth didn't take that long (3-4 weeks) and most people I know started again before the 6 weeks postpartum mark. Friends with more difficult labours started back again later.

free - I was 40+2 and mini was 4.2 kilos. They were estimating a smaller baby for me ~3.2 kilos . I am sure the epi-no will help you have a safe delivery and I think sooner to the due date rather than later or way past it is better.

Mini is doing much better and seems to be back to his mostly cheery self. I have to say that the first very high fever scared me to death.