The Brookers are ready for a 2014 sneeze-birth fest. Come and join us if you think you're hard enough...

[SantaMaybe]

Here we go brookers. At least three of us will be sneezing on this one

Stacks, are you about 38 weeks now? I have an idea that you're about 4 weeks ahead of me and I'm 34+4.

I have suddenly restarted pelvic floor exercises after catching a horrendous cold. Uncontrollable coughing + 34 weeks pg = Not Good. Btw, when I saw the private physio a few months ago, she said that with my hips so unaligned, it was pretty impossible to exercise my pelvic floor properly and other muscles would have been compensating, even when not pg. I'm hoping that if I can make sure I'm aligned properly post-partum then things like star jumps won't be a constant worry. I was fine 4 times out of 5 but then the fifth time would happen. And that was happening a year and more after M was born. I was confused because I had no stitches or tearing with DD1 and then M was an ELCS, so I didn't understand why my pelvic floor was so dodgy, but it must have been the after-effects of SPD.

Have just re-read your post - is it your birthday??

Hey too, it's my birthday today :) DS had a lay in till 7:30, took me out on a date to soft play and lunch, then gave me 2:45 afternoon nap in which I sat in the garden and enjoyed the sun. A good day so far. Steak for dinner tonight, then a movie. Going to try watching "the perks of being a wallflower". No idea if it's any good, but I can get it streamed for free and I was interested in watching it back when it came out.

I'm 38+4 today, so yeah, pretty much exactly 4 weeks ahead of you. I got my section date through for Monday 7th July. Hoping to go natural before then, but I just admit I'm not really expecting to. Probably the best way to be, expect the 'worst' and be happy if things work out better.
I know a section isn't really a bad thing, I just really want to try experiencing a natural labour. It could be the worst thing I ever go through, and take far longer to recover from. It's my last chance to see what it's like though. Silly, but that's just what I want.

I've been terrible at doing my pelvic floor exercises, both this time and with DS. I've been warned over and over that the damage is done from being pregnant, not from labour, but I just can't seem to remember to do them ever. When I saw the physio a couple of years ago for some back pain he said I had really good pelvic floor muscles, so I'm hoping that'll see me through!

How's everyone else doing? Hope the weather isn't bothering people too much.

Happy Birthday, Stacks! Sounds like a lovely day - hope the film was good. I haven't seen it yet.

Oooh, section date 7 July? Mine is 9 July! Still, you might go before then, you never know. If you want to experience natural labour then I hope you get your chance - I was massively curious about it and would have felt cheated to have missed it too. And I did have a weird labour high afterwards, despite the circumstances. I felt very proud that I had managed to deliver DD1 with a v short pushing stage even though the doctor thought I would be too knackered/spaced out and transferred me into the delivery room that doubled as an operating theatre before I hit 10 cm, just in case. Btw, I pushed perfectly well with no tearing or anything even with my epidural topped up just before they told me to start. Hope you get a MW called Amanda - she was amazing with me.

I am also terrible at pelvic floors! I will do better from now on, I will!

It was v hot at work today and I had to carry my laptop from the bus stop down to work and my pelvis/hips seized up. I spent the rest of the day barely able to limp from my desk to the loo, walking very slowly and very awkwardly. I also sneaked my tights off at one stage because I had on over-the-bump black opaque tights, a black vest and a black dress on and 3 layers over my tummy was just far too much. After work I had to limp slowly up the hill to the bus stop again, but at least I left the laptop in the office. I have decided to dig my heels in and refuse to carry it any more. I'll take it if I'm going from office straight into a car, and being dropped off right at the door of my destination, but I'm not walking any distance at all carrying it. I've only got 2 weeks left so I don't really care what anyone thinks. My left leg always seems worst and I had left my car at the bus stop closest to my house and it hurt to use the clutch!

Right, I'm going to have a bath and go to bed. I know it's half past 9 already so it won't be that early, but I can try.

Sorry for being so rubbish! I am reading just not managing to post!

Had a minor breakdown this am about it ALWAYS being me organizing childcare and being jealous of dh just going to the office when he feels like it and coming back when he's actually FINISHED his work for the day. I feel like I have a major battle to ensure getting to the office in comparison. Slightly heightened this week as nanny on holiday!

Hope you get to have the vaginal birth you want to try stacks! They say sex is the thing that can really work I think...!

I have forgotten pelvic floor exercises totally during this pg and am in denial about being at all continent post partum.

Hope work were understanding about the laptop too - it seems a fairly normal thing for a very pg woman to be a bit grumpy about to me!

Ohhh, M woke me up at 5.44 but I didn't realise it was so early or I'd have tried harder to get her to go back to sleep. I glanced at the clock and thought it was 6.44. Didn't work it out until got up for breakfast and the kitchen clock said 6.25. Gaah.

That sounds v frustrating, Pomme. Hope your DH does a bit more of the childcare arranging from now on!

Ow, my wisdom tooth hurts! Do you think the dentist can do anything? I think it's impacted - part of it's showing, part is still covered with gum and the whole gum around it is swollen and I keep biting the inside of my cheek as a result. I don't think I can have an anaesthetic when pg, though, can I? So I'm not really sure whether to bother going to the dentist.

Afternoon all. I'm sitting doing nothing while DH and FIL build a new bed in our room and put up the cot etc in preparation for baby. However, they're making a right blooming racket up there, in the room next to my napping boy! If they wake him we shall be having words!

too DS woke me at 5:40 this morning too, except there's no getting him back to bed ever. So I'm feeling rather zombie like today. I think you should go see he dentist about your tooth, but also buy some Corsodyl (sp?) mouthwash and use that. It's possible you've got something stuck in the gum causing an infection. I used to get it all the time with my wisdom teeth - took them a good 5 years to grow enough that it only happens rarely now. The Corsodyl is a "proper" medicated mouthwash for it, but the dentist may need to clean out whatever is caught back there. You can also try cleaning it yourself. Get a syringe and a cup of warm salty water. Use the syringe to spray the water as hard as you can under the gum that's over the tooth. It might be really painful, but if you get it clear it should clear up pretty quick.

Pomme it's so hard to keep a level head when your DH just seems oblivious to the things you have to do each day with kids. My big bug bear just now is lunches. DH has probably never had to think about what to feed DS for lunch. He just expects me to pluck a nutritional meal out of thin air every day of the working week and the weekend. DH is home at the weekend, surely during the course of he week he could take a little time and make a little effort to plan an activity and a lunch for DS?!?

I am having to contain my annoyance a lot these last few days. DH has been complaining about being tired lots, and moping around like a mini thundercloud. Often complaining, but just as often complaining by not saying anything. He big sighs and the slumping shoulders. Got to the point last night that I just didn't want to be in the same room as him!
So this morning I let him have a sleep till 8:30. He comes downstairs and complains he woke up at the wrong time and feels awful. Grrr! I've not slept past 6am in weeks either, just because DH gets up with DS every weekday morning, it doesn't mean he's had less sleep or is more tired. I stay in bed the 30m I'm not allowed to eat after taking my tablets. In that time DH and DS eat breakfast, while DH reads his phone. If I get up with DS I watch him not eat his breakfast, deal with multiple temper tantrums about wanting my phone (which I don't even bother to look at till he goes down for his nap at 1pm), and just generally deal with a grumpy boy. Then when I can eat I have him up and down off my lap demanding my breakfast, or insisting I sit at his tiny table with him and eat. All this starts the day where it's just me and DS. That 30 minutes in the morning is my sanity I think.

I've also realised that I'm a bit depressed. Not clinically, but not happy. I spend all day with a toddler that can't talk, and talk to no one else really. If I talk to mums at playgroup I have nothing to say, because I do nothing worth talking about. When DH comes home from work he plays with DS while I cook dinner, then says maybe 10 words to me while eating dinner. Put DS to bed, DH does the dishes while watching something on his laptop. When he's done he takes the laptop to his desk, turns on his computer, puts on headphones and plays games with his friends, talking to them about whatever. Then it's bedtime.
I haven't seen our friends since having DS. DH sees them every week, but doesn't tell me anything about them or their lives. I have no other friends. I've not been out for an evening since Christmas, and when I did go out I felt like a spare part with nothing to talk about.
I've always been mostly about family, didn't have friends growing up, and have never learnt how to make friends. It was always nice being part of the same set of friends as DH, because I felt confident they wanted at least one of us around, and DH could always fill in conversation if I couldn't. I'm starting to think that DH and I aren't really friends. We're just in love.

Oh Stacks. I just want to give you a big hug! It sounds like you're v lonely right now. You are doing interesting things! Your DH ought to be interested in everything you tell him about you and T's day, no matter how mundane. I remember feeling like this during mat leave and it worries me a lot to know I'm going to spend another 9 months like that. DH comes home and just wants to veg too - plays his online game for hours. I used to have to say to him that I had been at home with no adult conversation all day and I needed him to talk to me. It's not a problem while I work - we talk a lot on the drive home because DH can't drive and play on his phone at the same time and I'm tired too and don't need to talk as much. Why does DH see your friends without you? Can 't you both go?

Want to meet up soon? I'm on mat leave starting next Thurs - anytime after that would be good.

Oh stacks that sounds lonely. I made some mummy friends post dd1 that have made my life with kids so much easier as children shared are a problem halved :)

I really do recommend trying some more groups when your little girl is here and you've recovered. I know you say you don't know how to make friends but nobody is really super confident, everyone is grateful for anything anyone else says in most situations. Remembering that always helps me.

And, yes, why aren't you seeing your joint friends too?!

Dhs are HARD. I think most mums feel exactly the same as you describe. I feel like if I'm not at work in tidying, washing, organizing everything and no one even notices other than maybe pointing out I'm a bit grumpy. We have a cleaner and use a part time nanny for children care as well so I'm lucky really!

I just had dh moaning that his nap didn't go very well... What are you supposed to say to that?!

Might be time for a bit of a word with your dh though if you're describing yourself as depressed?

too - my wisdom tooth is definitely decaying. I really need to go and show it to someone. Need to get dd1 to a dentist first though as it's been a good two years since she went...

Hey. Feeling a bit better today, it's always better after a weekend with DH home. Most of the time I don't mind the isolation really. As I said I didn't have any friends growing up, just siblings and my dad. We have always been quite an insular family. As a stay at home single parent with 4 kids, one of whom is deaf with ADHD, my dad struggled to take us out much, and couldn't really afford stuff, so we just got on with being a family together. Bike rides, long walks, feeding the ducks and stuff. I want that family life (plus a DH and friends for DS!), but at 18m DS is a bit young for lots of stuff, and my hips are sore while pg so going out for walks is hard. Maybe it'll start soon, DS loves running round now and exploring things, particularly bugs, so we can maybe start some woodland walks and the like. Still very isolated in the week maybe, but happy memories for he and I too.

DH is a geek who is terrible at making conversation a lot of the time. He talks well with our friends because they're all geeks too. They talk about programming and game mechanics and whatever online co-op game they're playing together just then. We used to play computer games a lot together, and DH loves teaching me the best way to do stuff in them. I just don't have the time or energy, or inclination, to play as many games as I used to. I no longer have work to talk about, and DH and I have never been ones for going out to the pub or out much at all socially.

For valentines day I suggested we have 12 dates through the year, to spend some time together and talk more. We've managed to go out 3 times, which has been nice. We're quite quiet while out though, as there's not much to say about ourselves. Work is work, and looking after DS is just that. As neither of us has outside friends or things we do apart, we don't seem to have much to talk to each other about. I think we need to take a look at ourselves and see what we can change. We both love each other so much, but we're both quite boring people!

DH sees our friends each week for dinner and a board game. Technically I could go along now, or could have been, as DS doesn't need me through the night. However I just don't feel I've got much to bring to he conversation any more, and can't help feeling they'd all be wishing DH was there instead. They're all geeks and programmers, the kind of people you meet on a computer science degree. They're a fun bunch to be around, but only one of them has ever visited me/us since DS was born. They're socially inept too :)

I talk to the mums at playgroups, and I think people like me well enough. I just don't know how to go from seeing someone once a week and having a chat, to meeting up outside of playgroup and getting to know each other. The other mums all end up talking about things they did together outside the groups, but there's never an invite to do anything with them. Even with our friends it's like that, we would see each other at prearranged events, like weekly gaming, and never see them outside. They meet up, but I don't. Maybe I don't send out "invite me" signals? It's not like I'm ever busy, and they know I'm not.

Too I'd love to meet up sometime, it's my due date Thursday, but I'm fully expecting to get there without any sign of baby. I think it's going to be a rainy week though, so might need to do something indoors. Also, DS is up and awake from 6-12, but then needs lunch and a nap from 1-3/4, dinner at 5 and bed at 6:30. So I'm limited to meeting in the mornings.
There's a new cafe near Straiton I've heard some good things about. Never been there, but was thinking about giving it a try? Called Secret Herb Garden or something. They've got a Facebook page I can link to you over there.
Also, I'm going to get a zoo membership for my birthday, so I can take DS and baby along whenever I'm stuck for something to do. Maybe we can do a zoo trip sometime? Me being a member would make it cheaper for you too, and if the DHs come (post babies) we can send them off with M and T and sit and watch the penguins in the sun with babies :)

Sorry for the essays recently! I guess you've become my 'adult conversation'. :)

Coming out of lurking mode to say Stacks you have described my life . Hugs from afar! I met people via nct with ds1 but since we all had dc2's they just don't bother with us. I only ever see any of them if I invite them to mine and if I don't arrange something they just don't even contact me. Two of them are very clicky and see each other all the time and never invite anyone to their homes. Fed up and hoping when we move house in a couple of months to a new area I might be able to meet some nicer people but bricking it as am shy and bit geeky myself and have always been the one to not be invited and just don't know how to change that. Shame you live in Scotland!

Stacks, what about Monday morning and we'll try the new cafe? I can't do Friday because the MW is coming at some point, and also M now has a HV appt in the afternoon, grr. They sent us an appt which we couldn't make, then phoned in advance to check we were coming. DH said no, we were sorry, neither of us could manage that time, so the new letter says 'Unfortunately you missed your previous appt...'!! We are supposed to fill in 2 v lengthy questionnaires about M's development, which we have now lost.

The zoo sounds lovely but we either need to take the DHs to carry/push toddlers or else wait until I'm a lot fitter than I am right now! I went a few weeks ago with Mum and my stepdad, who carried M almost all the time, and I was still utterly knackered afterwards. It's so steep!

Do you have anyone who could babysit of an evening so you and DH can both go meet up with your friends?

Will post more later - got to go catch the bus now!

Loopy, yay, welcome back! How are you doing?

40+1 today :(

Sorry I've been a bit quiet. Been working on a photo book album of last year, deadline was midnight last night. Got it done on time, but lots of late nights and nap times spent working on it. Need to catch up on that sleep before bump becomes baby!

I might actually be seeing our friends this weekend! One has finally organised an afternoon event. Even though DS isn't invited too, we can get PIL to babysit and go along together. That is, if I don't have baby by Sunday! Midwife told me today that after my sweep I have a 50/50 chance of going into labour in the next 48 hrs. Let's see if baby gets the message :)

Monday morning should work too. I'll try and send you a fb message to organise? Again, if baby doesn't turn up. Surely the more plans I make the more likely she is to come?

Hi all, sorry for not posting for so long

All is good here - 36 weeks tomorrow! It still doesn't really feel real, but I can't wait until she's here Only 3 days left of work so hopefully I'll get at least a couple of weeks off before the baby arrives

The photo book sounds lovely stacks. I've been doing a cross stitch for the baby, and it's all ready now apart from the date/time that needs to be added

For those talking about loneliness, I'm a bit worried about being lonely too once I'm on maternity leave. I have a couple of close friends, but they don't live near by, so we don't see much of each other as it is. I'm meeting up with NCT people next week for the first time outside of our normal classes, so hoping that goes well and that it may carry on to some extent once the babies arrive

loopy and stacks I know that this is easier said than done if you are shy but the best way to get invited is to organize and invite. I reckon 99.9% of mums love getting asked for a play date/coffee type thing so statistically it's likely to go fine :)

I didn't do nct but went to nct mother and baby groups after and met a couple of people that I'm really close with now. I'm not sure about the whole hanging out as a group thing though, bit tenuous when only thing in common is similar age kids. Dh hated the whole family meet ups and I had to bribe him to go. Dh is quite shy and hermit like and I think when he looks after the girls he finds it harder than I do partly because he doesn't have any recourse to social stuff.

I had a vaginal swab this week (done in the doctors toilet with dd2 looking on quizzically - the glamour) and it has been decided that I only have thrush and should just carry on treating it when it comes back which is every month so far. This has deffo been the worst thing about this pg even worse than my huge piles.

Hope you got to see all your friends this weekend stacks!

Stacks, sounds good! Will text you when I find my phone. [lazy emoticon]

Pomme, I have thrush too, grr. I have managed to infect DH and it just keeps coming back (for both of us). I've never had it before and I'm v annoyed to have it now.

Fox, hooray for only 3 more days of work! I finished on Thursday and I'm now counting down until Tues when DH is at work and M is at nursery so I can have a whole day of complete and total peace (apart from the dog barking at the postman).

M woke up at 7, and DH finally got up with her at 7.40 and I went back to sleep until 11.30, but I'm still knackered now. How is this possible? And while we're on the subject of impossibilities, how does the house get so filthy so fast? Grr.

Enjoy your day to yourself tomorrow Too!

I can sympathise with the house getting dirty! Me and DH decided to have a clean up of the house yesterday as it was long overdue, plus I had my first visit from the health visitor today so wanted it to be clean and tidy (although I know she wouldn't be too bothered about that kind of thing but still felt like I needed to do it). I think DH may be nesting though! He was hoovering the ceilings and skirting boards yesterday and started cleaning the outside of the windows! I won't complain!!

Think DH is nesting too, but his version is rearranging things and dragging out all the crap that's been hiding under beds and on top of wardrobes. So he's rearranged the spare room and M's room and the hall is filled with displaced stuff that no longer has a home. I suppose I will have to do some sorting tomorrow.

It has been roasting here today and I think tomorrow's supposed to be good too. I've got a MW appt at 2.40 and I'm going to do some v important lying in the sun after that.

Hope you've enjoyed your day of laying in the sun Too!

Hello everyone

Hi Pasta! Congratulations again! It's very quiet in here lately

Oooh, a newbie! I don't think we've met, Pasta. Are you a newly pg Brooker? I'm a second-time Brooker and am now 37+1 with DC3, waiting for my ELCS next Wednesday .

Stacks, any news yet? Any twinges or anything to report? Or you either, Fox? Things are going along very quietly here - baby is wriggling lots and making my ribs ache, but no signs of labour whatsoever. Probably a good thing, really. My PIL arrive tomorrow for a week - they'll be looking after DD while I'm in hospital, and the house is a tip.

Too you are behind. Get checking Facebook :)

Aaaaargh, how did I miss that?