February 2014 - babies flying out all over the joint!

[marzipanned]

We've now welcomed mini sun, dawn, kat, zazou and selfies (please tell me I haven't missed anyone...)....who will be next?!

Those of us waiting impatiently will be showing down on dates, pineapple, RLT and curry while having awkward whale sex.

So sorry for your loss. Everyone on this thread has been touched and we are all thinking of you and baby Wesley.

I'm so sorry James and Wesley. Life is so unbearably cruel. With love xx

Unthinkable..my sincere condolences to you James and family..and all the strength possible to you all x

James, also no words for how sorry and saddened I am to hear of her passing.
As we say at Jewish condolences, I wish you (and Wesley) long life.

Wishing you all strength and comfort. x

Our hearts go out to you James and Wesley.

So sorry to hear your sad news, thinking of you and all your family and this very sad time. My heart goes out to you and Wesley, I hope that knowing you will always have a part of her with you will help you heal xx

Just wanted to say best of luck to everyone labouring this weekend. Lots of new babies on their way x

It's so exciting with all the cute baby pictures appearing on fb all the time! :)

Good luck ladies I can't wait to see more gorgeous newborns x

Does anyone have an opinion on controlled crying? It appears me and my OH have opposite views on the matter, and I'm not sure how to handle it as we've agreed on everything we've discussed before!

Mm, I have read that it is not great for their psychological development. Margot Sutherland writes that babies don't have the capacity to learn manipulative behaviours until about 8mnth and so controlled crying won't work till at least then.

My lo hasn't the skills to self settle so controlled crying would most likely be more crying himself to sleep than learning behaviours!

its always strange for me as well when Dh and I have different views!!

Littleen, I think the general view from professionals is that it's not a good plan before 6 months - as generally if they're crying, a feed can solve it. But after 6 months, it's a really personal decision. We used the technique when DS was 7.5 months to break his habit of waking around 3am for a night feed. It was becoming clear he didn't really need that feed (his weight was soaring up the chart as he'd been on solids as well as milk since 6 months old and loved/still loves his food!) and that it was a habit. So me and DH picked a week when he was off work and we agreed that he would go and comfort him at various intervals when he woke, as we knew that if DS saw me, he would associate it with a breastfeed. The first couple of nights were horrid to hear the crying but it worked and he slept through the night (bar teething or illness etc) ever since, so for us it was the right decision. I definitely think it's crucial that you and your partner agree on taking an approach like this, you need their support to stick to it. You might find that sleep deprivation changes his or your view on it in due course!

We did controlled crying when DS was 8 months. He was still waking every hour for a feed at night and I was at breaking point. It was either controlled crying or medication for me.

In the event DS slept through after just 3 nights and the longest he cried for was 10 mins. And it wasn't distressed crying either, more of an indignant yell!

although I only partially used controlled crying and ds has always been a wonderful self settler, I am in favour of it (well as much as you can be!) but not until at least 6 months and then it depends on the temperament of the baby and the determination/support of both parents. controlled crying is well... controlled. you can set your own limits.

also ds always shouted himself to sleep but as his vocal skills developed it became singing then chatting. I used to think he was crying and try and rock or pat him to sleep (thinking that babies can't self settle) and it would ENRAGE him! my attempts to settle him made him more distressed thank god my dm could distinguish between baby cries and shouts!

Petty How strange! Have to admit it's a funny mental image him shouting himself to sleep :)

I just tried to shave. It was... interesting.

lastnight that sounds rather exhausting! And I think there's a huge difference between distressed crying and the sort of "I'm not impressed by this bed thing here!" shouting :)

Petty I do think there's a skill to be learnt to understand what the noises mean! I just hope I can do that, though your story made me smile, I know a lot of kids who would sing and chat before falling asleep.

Don't think CC is for me, have done hours and hours of research, and all credible sources suggest a possibility of damage to baby due to stress etc. Not going in to it here, but for me it wouldn't feel right, as this baby has already had too much stress before being born, and I can't risk anything that could be damaging whatsoever (bipolar is genetic and can be triggered by stressful events, which CC would be) - even though "everyone" says we should go for it - I prefer the scientific evidence approach over the public opinion :P Perhaps I'm weird though, and wouldn't want to judge anyone - parenting is such an awkward topic, how can you discuss it without offending someone?! Saying that though - if you need the loo and baby starts to cry, he'll just have to keep crying for a little while, so it can't be that bad ;)

Julietee You should try hair removal cream! I use it and it's nearly foolproof, as you can't cut yourself and don't need to see what you do as much.. haha!

gah I cannot sleep! I think I fell asleep at 10pm but woke again at 11:30. have doused my pillow in lavender oil and tried listening to my hypnobirthing cs but no joy. its my turn to get up with ds in a few hours and no doubt he will put in an extra early appearance. grrr. rant over. (oh and dh going away at lunch time so no afternoon nap opportunity )

littleen you might not even need to do any sleep training and there are lots of other methods if needs be (millions of threads on mn! ).
ds "self settling" was cute but I did have to turf him out of our room at 4 months as his "singing" would keep me awake! oh god, what am I going to do if this one is a noisy sleeper? there is nowhere to escape to this time!

Littleen seems like you've come to a sensible conclusion. I know nothing about it. So good question! Interesting to know. I've put a reminder in my calendar now saying 'could try controlled crying now?' for Sept. You never know, I may be so glad of it in 6 months because I would forget!
Petty you'll have to put your two in together so they can duet together (and maybe invest in sound proofing for their room!). Seriously though, that does sound super cute from an outside perspective!

petty Haha, pless his cotton socks - I hope I don't get a singsongy baby too, I need total silence to sleep at all. I second Bella's suggestions ;)
You could try listening to a different (perhaps on sleep topic) hypno cd - Paul Mckenna always send me to sleep within 15 minutes, whilst I normally need atleast 30 to fall asleep. Also get one of those heating teddies that smell like lavender. My monkey is epic. Or was until I burned the lavender and he now smells odd.

I'll check out the sleep training thing on here, didn't think about checking here! Hopefully I won't have to do anything at all, just swaddle and give cuddles, and would rather try co-sleeping if nothing else works, though I'd be scared of him falling out of bed/squashing him!

little I was worried about co sleeping but have ended up doing it as lo won't settle at night anywhere else. I have themoaes basket up against the bed then a pillow between me and the basket, in the middle of me and the pillow I put lo and curl around him. I find I stay in that position between feeds. less scary once I got some sleep!!

That sounds really cosy Bumpie! I reckon I wouldn't get any sleep because I get so wary of anyone I might disturb in bed - I struggle to sleep because I "breathe too loudly" with my other half in bed! (my ex would tell me off for breathing too loud, so it's kinda stuck in my head now)

Fingers crossed he'll like his cot bed and I can rock it a bit so he feels cosy ^^