June 2014 -Thread 8- 20 week scans, gender reveals... Halfway through!

[GillyBillyWilly]

Jump in the new thread ladies!!!!

Oh yes! much more sensible answer jaykay

I think I need to swot up again!

I thought it was hearing someone else breathing that was the thing?

Hi MRose - lovely to have another new joiner.

I have read its to do with the breathing - I think the general thinking is that no one really knows but the breathing thing is best guess and there is a statistical correlation between babies sleeping in the same room as patent and a drop in SIDS.

My DS would sleep for such tiny amounts if he wasn't on me I gave up and he mummy naps until I went back to work. Great excuse for not doing any housework!

Biffle it's the adult breathing which is why it's recommended close to bed as possible...but my mum does post-mortems on cot death (sorry to be so morbid) & there are a number of risk factors - whether they're in your bed (accidental co sleeping highest risk) whether there is a smoking parent but by far she believes the biggest factor is whether they sleep on their back or not. I had to put James on his front sometimes when he just couldn't sleep on his back & I felt guilty but you just have to read up on it all know the advice & do your best in as many ways as possible depending on the hand you're dealt :)

Some are prob thinking co sleeping huh that can't be right it's a diff set of benefits & risks - & yes that's completely true but in v little babies Doctors can't tell the causes apart so it ends up in same statistics (basically a v little one can't fight suffocation by sheets or body so looks like SIDS & many parents will never know either way)

Again sorry to be so morbid - please remember it's v rare

I've settled on bed in the room with us, but baby not in bed with us - depending on how frayed my nerves get I might either follow UK guidelines which say for 6 months or German advice which says 1 year.

I'm used to having a 1,40m bed all to myself, I find our king size bed with DH in it challenging at times, no way would I stick a baby in there, as well. I know I tortured my parents and crawled into bed with them much longer than they'd preferred, but at least a standard double bed there is 2 metres!

And on that note...

I'm planning on using an NCT bed nest.

DD's naps were usually in a cat seat or pram (napping rarely happened unless she was in motion) or on me and I hope it is the same this time. Once she was 6 months and a bit (tiny) better at sleeping I put her in her cot for naps. Only really at about 9 months when I was going back to work did she start napping for longer in her cot with a lot of effort from me! I remember her sleeping happily in her pram and I would tip toe into the house and pray she would stay asleep long enough for me to have a cup of tea but as soon as the door opened she would wake up every single time.

And in bed I have a crib but am under no illusions that the baby will sleep anywhere other than on me. I hate co sleeping with a passion (I need my space!) but I hate not sleeping at all a lot more.

New to MN - hi ladies! Our little bean is due 22nd June - can i play in your group too please? Looking forward to sharing the journey x

Nice to see a few new people joining this week. Welcome everyone!

Hi one in the oven - good to have you here.

Dam you SarahAnderson - now I want one of those NCT bed nests - they look great. Last time we have a moses basket in our room which DS hated so he ended up in our bed (we were fig 1 on Bee's great link) . I can see the bed nest being a great compromise.

Welcome newbies and hello everyone! Haven't been on here much recently. Our Facebook group is thriving and has diverted me away from mumsnet!

Does anyone want to join the Facebook group? It's totally private so none of your fb friends can even see or find the group... Only people IN the group can access it/see posts etc.

It's great as we are all getting to know each other and sharing photos, room ideas, pushchairs, scan pictures... All sorts!

If you want to join, send me a message with your email address and I will send you an invite.

And I will try to be on here more often as well!!!!

Welcome new people, come on join the fun on Facebook!

Re the sleeping, I was going to get a bed nest as well and maybe a basket for downstairs, but just saw this basket.

pretty cool just need to remember the baby isn't washing!

I co slept with my DS for the first 6 months or so, meant I got loads more sleep and so did he. We were given different advice and statistics on our nct course, basically saying cosleeping was the safest option to avoid SIDS risks. The reason it's classified as unsafe in the media and general records is because it includes accidental cosleeping and risk factor parents in the statistics. If you take out people who accidentally fall asleep with their baby in bed (or the worst, the sofa) then the statistics are actually much better. I read something a while back suggesting SIDS had increased since cosleeping started being advised against - exhausted mums are too scared to sleep in bed with their babies, so sit on the sofa instead, and fall asleep there. Which is far, far, far worse than planning to cosleep from the beginning and doing it safely.

This is a great site

www.isisonline.org.uk

www.isisonline.org.uk

(Using the app so trying two ways of making it link...)

Since campaign on SIDS started in 1991 cot deaths have reduced by 70%. The ratio is I think from memory 60:40 boys to girls - mostly within 1st 3 months & low birth weight are at a 4x higher risk.

Re cosleeping there are quite a number of reports suggesting cosleeping increases risk dramatically & account for over a third of all cot deaths. A recent one estimates & increased risk of around 5x.

m.bbc.co.uk/news/health-22594587

But cosleeping is also lovely & a great way to bond. I think it's particularly good if Breastfeeding as you don't have to get up. I'm not against cosleeping whatsoever I think for me I will look at one of those attach to the bed crib things (if I can find one I can afford!) but different people approach risk differently. It is still only a couple of hundred babies a year which I know sounds like a long but of 130k born it really is a very low risk so I would still cosleep without pillows & all that stuff if you want to

Oh & my personal reason for not even considering cosleeping is not the risk at all I really don't find that bothering it's the fact I tried it for a few nights & slept so unbelievably badly & woke up with such back ache where I think my body froze with the awareness of him being in the bed. So my reasons are completely selfish!! :)

Just wanted to pop on to say hi to new mums to be joining thread.
Have to say not been great at keeping up with this thread since joining Facebook group.
Just caught tailend of chat re co-sleeping. Bumblebee I'm totally with you and wouldn't due to selfish reasons as don't sleep with little one next me and lie really awkwardly so as not to wake baby!

Both me and my ds are wriggly sleepers so I chose a Moses basket instead and kept it right next to my side of the bed so when he cried I could actually bf him without getting up or even waking dh!

I'm not on Facebook so can't join so will hope that people stick on here a bit too.

We co-slept a little out of pure desperation as ds would not sleep in Moses basket but after a few weeks, I tried harder to get him to settle in Moses basket as kept waking in a panic that either I or dh had squashed him in our sleep!

Can't get enough of milk at the moment, anyone else having any cravings?

Also saw consultant today who booked my c section date, very very odd feeling knowing when baby going to come!

Hey ladies,

I am just a lurker on this thread (due 20th June) but reading main thrust of todays posts thought people might be interested in this cot:

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/WALDIN-Baby-Beistellbett-Wiege-Babybett-BUCHE-VOLLMASSIV-hohenverstellbar/360442200566?_trksid=p2045573.m2042&_trkparms=aid%3D111000%26algo%3DREC.CURRENT%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D27%26meid%3D4351404835241772505%26pid%3D100033%26prg%3D1011%26rk%3D2%26rkt%3D4%26sd%3D360740316845%26

It's from a German company who ship internationally on ebay. You can email them and ask questions about safety standards etc. We got it last time, cost 100 euros including the shipping which is about £85/£90 - considerably less than the bednest at £300!!

We found it perfect - it has a platform (pictured) which means you get a flush connection to your bed and you can adjust several different heights. It matched up with our bed perfectly.

It's pretty dinky (as are most side sleepers), but quite a lot bigger than a moses basket. I wouldn't want one any bigger as you can't get out of bed otherwise! Would last til 6 months easily.

I actually had a pretty hard time sleeping in the same room as my wee boy as his every snuffle woke me up but we did this for 12 weeks (and will be doing again for as long as it works this time) then put the side on the cot and moved into his own room.

Hope that helps.

Thanks sister that looks fab