The Definitlies - May 2014ers!

[MrsFooCough]

Almost there now, May mums!

Stats page: docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AvygwA-EKhURdDMwQWNNWGt0cHhmVkloazVVQ0hYNUE#gid=0

Size of baby chart: m.thebump.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-tools/articles/how-big-is-baby.aspx?MsdVisit=1

How exciting psynl! I think you're wise not to tell people the date. I made the mistake of telling a few people my induction date with dd2 and there was comments all over my fb via text asking if the baby was here yet. Made me feel like I was letting people down by her not being there yet!

Thanks for the brilliant advice all! Certainly gave me food for thought. I ff last time so it's really good to know others experiences!

And very exciting psynl ! I would love to know the date of mine.... impatient

Awesome news Alyss FX tightly for bubs.

ooh how exciting Psynl would be very cool to see baby's brain like that!

On BF - I BF DD to 14m (stopped at 16w preg). Was difficult at first as she had a tongue tie and lip tie, but once she got a bit stronger (about 8w) she just adapted and was easy as anything! No faffing around with bottles and sterilising... Boobs definitely aren't wrecked either! Slightly different shape but that's due to pg not BF. BF clinics are awesome for support, our local one does individual appointments with a lactation consultant who will watch you feeding and help correct latch problems/blocked ducts etc, but some have walk in clinics where other BF ladies support each other and share advice. But it doesn't work for everyone, and not everyone wants to BF either. I have a lot of friends who didn't want to/couldn't BF and they found it really hard to get real advice from HVs about FF! I think most of them found MN seems to be the best place for info.

Bubs has been going nuts at loud noises lately, DD screaming and dogs barking loudly have induced lots of kicking Love that feeling! DH was complaining that it was keeping him awake the other night as it kept kicking him in the back! I was fast asleep

I breast fed till DD was 14.5 months and I was 13 weeks pregnant. It was really tough to start with as she has tongue tie which caused me lots of pain but she also never accepted a bottle so i felt like there was no option but to try and resolve our issues. I think finding the right supprt for you is essential if there are problems the midwives abs after care from our hospital was useless.

Hence why I currently training to become a breast feeding mother supporter and enjoying it .

I loved my medala swing breast pump and couldn't have done with out one has a had horrendous over supply and needed to relieve the pressure slightly from time to time as well as when having mastitis and blocked ducts as DD was not efficient as sucking.

I would recommend locating your local bf drop ins before you need them usually at Childers centres/hospitals and you can talk to them before you give birth. The womanly art of breast feeding is a great book to help prepare you as well as the UNICEF baby friendly booklet and kellymom website.

Wow, psynl, having an actual date must make it all feel so real!

All the feeding info is really helpful. I definitely want to give it my best shot. I've been wondering whether to buy bottles, steriliser, breast pump etc in advance or just to see how things go first.

Baby kicks are so so strong at the moment and constant! It doesn't sleep

psynl that's amazing!

I've got consultant in the morning. Need to see if anything can be done about these headaches, they're lasting four or five days at a time and so bad at points that I need to just stick my head under a pillow, the slightest bit of light makes me cry also want to make sure my scar is alright, been really feeling it stretch the past few days and starting to get very uncomfortable but not sure there's anything they can do. My body is just falling apart at the seams

There's a weird gap down the middle of my tummy where I assume the muscles have stretched and parted or something? I probably look like a jacket potato on the inside because they'd already been split horizontally by the surgery, now they're vertical too

Just to add my pros and cons from the feeder aspect of breastfeeding.
pros:
Oxytocin. I get a lovely calm feeling when nursing. I might be ready to argue over something stupid and if I manage to keep quiet and start a feed, I more than likely won't care after the feed.

Hand free. I can sit on my bum and feed the baby and have one hand free for surfing or reading or having a cuppa.

Weightloss. Definitely helped me shift the weight.

Night feeds, we co-slept so I could sleep through the feeds. Or at least I never had to get out of bed.
The ease. I'm a lazy mare and love that there is no sterilising, preparing, washing up with boobs. Just whip 'em out!

Cons:
Always being the main food source for baby means planning ahead and expressing when leaving baby behind. I had a rubbish pump so just don't bother leaving without baby.

Dd2 was a nipple twiddler. I fed her until she was 22 months and she would always try to tweak the spare boob. I Hated that.
Alcohol. Making sure I didn't get too tipsy if there was a feed due.

Today I was on my feet for almost two hours and now I can't walk. I know after a night sleep I'll be a bit better tomorrow but this spd is getting beyond a joke. I need to be able to get around - I'm thinking it might be time to ask for crutches for when it's this bad.
I don't want to whinge too much, I count my blessings after today. My cousin and his wife were two weeks behind me in their pregnancy. Her waters broke the other day, but the baby started producing more and she was on bed rest and they just wanted her to get to 24 weeks. However, she developed a life threatening infection so they had to induce . The baby was born at 22 weeks. He survived for half an hour before he passed away. So sad. I feel guilty that they'll see me continue with my pregnancy and they won't or that when my baby is born, it will cause them more pain. Life is so unfair sometimes. I feel for them so much.
I won't take this wee baby for granted at all. You never know what tomorrow brings.

Sorry to be a downer!

this is so helpful, thank you everyone I definitely want to try but know not to beat myself up about it if I can't bf for any reason!

Wow thanks for all the BF answers. I I really want to try. I'm thinking we'll try to get a bednest crib which is as close to co-sleeping you can get with a crib, has anyone had one?

S-I-L has already given me the lansinoh (sp?) cream for the nipples.

Just hoping I can preservere!

Anyone else feeling super PREGNANT! I struggled with work chair/ bra tightness and over heating (ridiculous hot feet) and sore computer screen eyes today. Eeek. Another 12 weeks at work yet!

oh dobe, I'm so sorry to hear that. I can see that it will be tough when your baby is born but I'm sure you'll be sensitive of their feelings.

That is a tricky situation dobe but you are right, it does put worries and problems a little more in perspective. Hopefully she will be ready to ttc when you are nearing birth/ lo is still small and so that will help her through, but I can't imagine how hard it must be....

moomin I hope your dp is doing well at his deliveries! (And fingers crossed for free pizza at home time)

I think I have decided after weighing up pros and cons to stick to formula feeding. It is strange because even though it is really natural it just feels completely unnatural to me! The thought of extra pain, feeding for 3+ hours and other cons really sways it as I have another dd and a house to look after as well as a newborn.

I think teaching dp how to do the washing machine
Will be easier than teaching him to breastfeed :p

Really sorry to hear the sad news about your cousin, dobe That must be awful & I agree we are all blessed in our continuing pregnancies.

Thanks for the bf-ing advice. Sorry can't remember who suggested it but I've just bought the womanly art of breastfeeding. It's got really good reviews on Amazon as well.

Clearly, I'm 24+1 & definitely feeling super pregnant now! Every time one of my work colleagues walks past me these days she says "my god you're massive" or something similar. I know she's only excited for me but it does make me feel a little bit paranoid! Lol! Only 16 weeks to go now :) We're getting there ladies!

Oh dobe, sorry to hear that :(

No babynest (not really sure what that is) but I usually put the cot on the middle height setting so it's the same as the bed and leave one side off and push it up against the bed so I can scoop them in with me for a feed and pop them a little further away when they're in a good deep sleep.

Sorry to hear your cousin's sad news dobe

NannyPlum I'll be pished off if he does return with pizza, I've cooked his tea and now it's waiting to go back in the oven whenever he gets back .... ah who am I kidding, I'll never complain about free pizza

My EDD is 14 weeks away today. EEEK!

I'm very open to mix feeding! Happy to try bf but if it doesn't work their. Know I tried

Dobe somehow read your post after writing my own. How terribly sad. I'm so grateful to be 24+2 now, so hopefully this little one has half a chance of surviving whatever happens. I've become slightly obsessed by Reading about preemie survival rates these last few days...

I found out last week in the pub that my friend miscarried a baby that would have same due date(ish) as me. I feel as if I've been insensitive to her even talking about being pregnant. She only told me this week but m/c in Oct at 12ish weeks. I'm thinking about writing a letter to say sorry for being insensitive but I don't know if that will make things worse. This is at least 4th m/c and she has 3dc already. Anyone got any thoughts?

OH has just got home, in great spirits after his first shift, to a phone call from his Dad telling him that his uncle has cancer, it's terminal, and he has four months left to live. He just seems so lost now, I don't know what to do. OH wants to go and visit but is worried about leaving me so I've told him I'll be fine.

mrsmummytobe
BF Clinics are drop in centres usually in Sure Start centres or similar places that have a breastfeeding advice session a couple of times a week.
They are generally staffed by trained breastfeeding advisors and lactation consultants, tho sometimes just by volunteers without official professional knowledge.
They will assess your latch, and advise and help you to improve it, as well as help identify things such as tongue tie etc.
They will usually send you away with personal advice leaflets filled in to help you practise their advice at home, thank goodness, cos my post-birth brain wasn't able to remember anything more than to keep breathing!
Most will be able to recommend a local Lactation Consultant, many of whom run free (if short) advice session too once a week.

I went to three separate BF Clinics with DS - the one 30 mins away at a Sure Start was fantastic, nice calm atmosphere, lots of toys around for older DC etc. (which will be handy this time!).
The one at the hospital we had DS in was great, had most of the same staff but had a really cramped clinical atmosphere and I couldn't relax there, which didn't help my rubbish let-down!
Then there was the one a short walk from my house - AWFUL. The woman there ran it on her own and gave terrible advice. Was no use to me at all, denied tongue tie existed, and made my friend cry.

Basically I advise finding out where at least two or three separate sessions are run and trying them all! They tend to run on different days so that also means if you're having issues you can get help quite quickly as long as you can travel a bit.

Take as much help as you can get if you want to BF - the more you know the more chance of success you have.

There are some lucky lucky women out there who try feeding and never have a moment's trouble - I've only met two tho!
(NannyPlum you never know, you might be one of them this time!)
One friend of mine loathed BFing, it just didn't feel right to her, but she fed her first DC for four months under duress as it came so easily to her, then afaik, FF from the start with her DC2. Your body, your rules.
The other had always planned to FF but tried BF after getting nagged by her DM/HV and found it so easy she BFd til 1yo. Just had her DC2 and BFing again now probably literally.

Dobedobe & Moomin - I'm so sorry.
Sorry, posted another massive one before reading properly thru.

Me again on BF - meant to add:

Success with BF is as much up to the baby as it is to you, which IMO gets glossed over by the Boob Only Army - my DSis has three DC;
Her DC1 had many issues, no suck reflex, bad latch etc, and she had Mastitis three times with her too. Eventually got it all sorted, but it was a long long road.
Her DC2 was a feeding machine - not a single problem, fed so efficiently that at one point he didn't poo for a month as he had no waste - Doc reckoned he'd just used every single drop growing!
Her DC3 was average, ok latch, not great not awful, just a normal baby who fussed a bit and wasn't the walk in the park DC2 was.

She always told me that if she'd had DC2 first, she'd never have understood why people make a fuss about BF being hard, likewise if she'd only had DC1 she wouldn't have believed it could be so easy.

Basically take other (non-professional) people's advice with a big pinch of salt as it is generally based on their own unique experience.
At the mo I'm studiously ignoring my DM who keeps telling me I must have some terrible 'condition' as she found pregnancy sooooo easy... All I really have is heartburn/indigestion and some rib/hip trouble! Apparently she was one of those lucky people who glided through pregnancy with a beatific glow and a paisley kaftan. Either that or her memory has really started to go

As of this infection was enough to go by, my grandad died on Sunday!! Drive home looming :-(

What a shit start to the year this has been Ffs !!

Basically take other (non-professional) people's advice with a big pinch of salt as it is generally based on their own unique experience.
I agree with this absolutely Longtailed. It is so different for everybody and by the different babies.

Dobe sorry to hear of your friends loss.

I can understand how down you must be over the SPD. I'm hobbling after an hour or two of walking. Any exercise makes it worse. I had this last pregnancy and hated being so dependent on DH for getting the housework, meals and normal day to day stuff done. I'm not quite there again, yet, but 14 weeks left means I probably will be. I'm a SAHM and am lucky to get some time sitting. But i feel so guilty as I can't play as much with the dcs or even take them outside for very long.

So vent away here. Bad things happening to others still doesn't take away the SPD.

Thanks longtailedtit for the fantastic info. Really helpful for a first timer like me!

Moomin & thistle so sorry to hear your sad news