The Definitlies - May 2014ers!

[MrsFooCough]

Almost there now, May mums!

Stats page: docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AvygwA-EKhURdDMwQWNNWGt0cHhmVkloazVVQ0hYNUE#gid=0

Size of baby chart: m.thebump.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-tools/articles/how-big-is-baby.aspx?MsdVisit=1

Breast feeding shouldn't hurt at all after the first couple of days and even then it's just a love-bitey feeling.
No reason to get out of bed at night.
Less to carry around when out
I loved the feeling that the babies were completely dependant on me for food.
Boobs are bigger than before but no different in shape.

Cons - only one I can think of is that contrary to popular anecdotes I always put on a massive amount of weight when breast feeding, much more than when pregnant.

Nanny I have some odd experience I can share if you like!

DS was 4wks early and had no suck reflex, double tongue tie, and jaundiced, so was bottle bed Aptamil for the first few days.
We then moved on to a combination of expressed breast milk and formula, still bottle fed, but constantly trying to get him to latch. Awful, and v unsuccessful.
After his tongue ties were snipped and he got a bit stronger, his boob latch started to improve. From 1 month old he was almost exclusively BF, with the odd bottle of EBM.

Now then....... For me, mostly due to DS's awful latch, it was agony. I also had constantly recurring blocked ducts, which were like passing razor blades, tho they were actually teeny tiny little grains of solidified milk working their way out.
I spent most feeds gripping the floor with my toes, or watching the subtitles on TV to distract myself from the pain.

Feeding became easy at 4mo, but because of my duct problems, the pain didn't completely stop until 9mo.
I fed DS until his 2nd birthday, partly out of sheer relief that it was finally pleasant.

Regardless of all the difficulties we had, and the fact that the early months were hellish, I'd absolutely do it again, and am planning to with DS2.
However, this time we will book the lactation consultant to visit ASAP after the birth, as DS2 is likely to have TTs too, and I'll be going to the BF clinic every day week until all is well.

If however it doesn't work out, I will FF. With DS1 I regarded BFing as my job, but this time, I have both him and the new baby to consider, and frankly formula feeding is soooo not the end of the world.
If I end up with PND again, FF will allow DH to help with feeds, and I'll be able to rest more. Sleep deprivation is sometimes compounded by the more frequent feeds a BF baby needs.

From my point of view, even with all the trouble we had, BF is great - free, comforting, always there, and definitely what I'm hoping to do again.

Just always remember, it really doesn't work out for everyone, and it's nobody else's business how you feed your baby! I can't stand the 'Breastapo' attitude that everyone can and should BF, it's simply not that easy. In an ideal world we all would, but, I don't live there.

Re the saggy boobs thing, I've read quite a few things that say it's pregnancy that damages the breast tissue and makes then saggy, so even those that FF from birth could still end up with the tennis-balls-in-socks look! I'm not convinced that's true, but hey.

Oh I almost forgot! Bf is an excellent excuse for sitting around on your arse all day while everyone else does the house work (May be the main cause of said con... )

Yikes that was long, sorry!!

Also forgot, we co-slept til 7mo, night feeds were v v easy!
Plus, with an older baby, it's a fantastic tool to have at your disposal when they're cranky. :)

I BF until around 7 months last time around, but with some mixed feeding. My milk took a couple of days longer than normal to come in as DD was v.fast to arrive and quite early. So I would highly recommend keeping a carton, bottle and teat in the house in case of emergencies. We needed it, and it saved a panicked midnight trip to the supermarket. Didn't affect BFing in the long run.

Once I'd stopped BF and everything had settled, my breasts were bigger than before I became pregnant and still well padded. DH hasn't complained, at least. I think in some ways BFing helps as it means your breasts get longer to adjust to each new stage, as your milk will eventually come in regardless of whether you use it.

Raspberries to those who lost weight BFing!! I'm another one that could not shift the weight for as long as I was feeding, my body just clung onto it. The moment I stopped, I managed to shift the remaining weight without too many problems.

We had some early problems with position/latch last time around which caused some cracking. This was painful, but I used a combination of Lansinoh, nipple shields when needed, painkillers and expressing to get through it.

My main problem was the subsequent thrush in my breasts, which was excruciating. Took a while to find a doctor who believed me and was willing to prescribe the appropriate drugs! Once we got that sorted, and my chest no longer felt like it was being stabbed with a million pieces of glass, it got a lot easier.

In my case, not much time was saved by BFing over FFing. Though there is less faff of washing/sterilising bottles. All the books describe how a baby should feed every four hours. DD did exactly that, but she fed every four hours for about three hours and fifty-five minutes!! I spent a hell of a lot of time feeding her.

During one memorable early growth spurt, I literally started feeding at 7am and stopped at 11pm - leaving a hungry, wailing baby each time I ran to the bathroom. However DD completely refused a dummy, so I think at least some of her time on me was very slow feeding while she just got sucking comfort.

Even after the first few months, she still cluster fed most evenings between about 5pm and 10pm. However I learnt to express mid-morning while she napped, then DH could give a bottle of expressed milk mid-evening to give me a bit of a break. :) If I hadn't managed to express on any given day and had no express milk stockpiled (it keeps for a few days and/or you can freeze it), he gave formula.

A word of note on formula, DD was fine with any fresh made formula but absolutely refused SMA powder. However she was fine with Aptimal powder. It was odd, I can only guess she could smell a difference and rejected that brand. So if you're having trouble with formula at any point, try moving brands.

Personally, I reckon BFing was harder than giving birth. At least in the early months. From about 12 weeks onwards though it became easier every day, and by the time we stopped it was a doddle. :) By all accounts, FFing is the reverse. Easy early on, as you spend less time feeding and get more sleep, but a bit of a PITA later on when you're faffing with bottles/sterilising/etc.

I fully intend to BF but mostly because I really want that self-sufficient feeling with Bean. I have such ginormoboobs anyway, I'm kind of scared tbh - wtf is going to happen to my giant, already-kind-of-spaniel-ear boobs?! I kind of hope that after a couple of babies I can get a breast reduction/lift because hopefully I'll have lost some weight! Next pregnancy I absolutely cannot be this size again. Muscle tone is non-existent and everything aches already!

Interesting thoughts on bf/ff ladies, very helpful. I am stupidly vain about my pre-pg boobs so worried about the effects on them, however having had a second pg trip to Bravissimo this weekend to discover that I am now up 3 back sizes and a cup size, I suspect there is at least some truth in saying that the pregnancy is as bad for them as bf. I can't see them shrinking back to normal without any ill effects! I would like to bf really so am trying to ignore my vanity but I do think the current "bf is the only way" pressure is a bit too much as it does lead to people being really upset if they don't manage.

There is a lot of pressure on mums, I agree wm its not for everyone. Half of my friends have bf their children and the other half have ff, luckily the ladies on our thread here are all of the same midset that everyone has their own way of doing things. Midwives do tend to pile on the pressure though.

I really want to BF because it's cheaper but I am worried about my boobs. If I can't, I'll obviously have to formula feed, and I'm not overly fussed about that. I am a bit worried about being made to feel pressured/guilty though.

While we're on the BF topic, I just saw this article on another thread - it's really good, explaining 'foremilk/hindmilk'.

Ooh and another one explaining milk production.

I find the whole thing so interesting - with this pregnancy I started producing colostrum a week before I got my BFP!

OH has just gone off to his first shift on his new job he's so nervous!

Not sure if it'll help anyone else intending to BF, but I found it helped to set myself targets. Initially I wanted to make sure to BF enough to pass on the important colestrum. Then I set myself the target of making it to a fortnight, then six weeks, then three months, etc.

Each time I reached a target, I gave myself the choice of switching to formula, or going just a little bit further to the next target. Being the damn stubborn mule I am, I ended up chasing targets until DD and I had finally gotten the hang of BFing and I didn't need them anymore.

There does seem to be a lot of pressure applied to BF. However, I don't think it's there to make anyone unable to BF feel guilty - after all, formula isn't posion and a lot of people are unwilling or unable to BF for very good reasons.

I think the pressure is there more for people who are able and potentially willing to BF but need that helpful encouragement/pressure/kick up the backside (I was one of them!) to keep going through the difficult early stages. Sometimes it's hard to tell someone who is wavering from someone who has decided that enough is enough.

However there will always be morons out there who sit on their high horse and make stupid judgemental statements. Just ignore them. Your baby, your choice! The same rude people are probably also judging from a day after birth how much baby weight you've lost, what name you called your LO and whether your clothes are clean and match. Not the sort of person to ever be taken seriously-!

Ultimately, everyone needs to do what's right for them and their family. If BF is part of that, great. If FF is part of that, great. A baby is happy and fed, it's all good. :)

Deciding not to feed your baby at all, or wean them immediately onto deep fried mars bars, that would be bad.

Thank you long both great articles, I've actually learnt a thing or two from the second one.

One of my good friends had PND and I think the fact she didn't manage to bf was a big contributing factor, she felt like she had failed. I agree some people need the encouragement but there is a fine line I suppose. Whereas some people need to be told the benefits in order to try, others get really worried that because they don't do it their child will be less intelligent/obese/have learning difficulties and my friend was like that. Spirael your goal setting approach sounds really sensible, my mum has said something similar.

PS I do really like the fact that we seem to have ended up with such a good mix of people on this thread, and that we all seem to be able to give advice/our experience and listen to each other without being judgey about personal choices.

Hi all, thanks for all this info on BF - good to hear directly from those with experience. I'm hoping to BF but will see how it goes. Anyone got recommendations for pumps? I'm not planning on buying one until I know if BF works out but would like to have a preferred model for quick ordering if all goes to plan!

Medela brand is good! Stockport hospital rent them out

Ooh thank you so much for all the breast feeding chat ladies, it's so interesting. I am another one who would like to breast feed but have no idea if I'll be able to or what it will be like. My mum was unable to bf apparently, I think it was to do with milk production, so I hope I will be able to.

Longtailedtit, what's a BF clinic? That sounds really helpful. It's really interesting to read everyone's experiences so thanks for sharing.

Re:pumps, it depends what extent you'll use it to. For example with my dc1,2 and 4 I've only expressed maybe once a week so there is a small freezer stock should I wish to go out for the day/evening, so the avent Isis manual pump was great. With DC3 he had a tongue tie with failure to gain weight so only hospital grade or very close was good enough. I borrowed a Medela freestyle from a friend.

Your hospital should have a infant feeding co ordinator! Ours does and they come spend time with u on the post natal ward to give support!

I've been on plenty of breast feeding days but I'm attending one ante natally

I have whooping cough and anti d on the same day!!

Is this allowed?

Totally agree that if expressing go for the medela. I think you can hire them to see if it works out before buying.

I had a really interesting antenatal appointment today. Growth scan all normal and blood sugars totally under control.

I was approached to take part in a research project to have MRI scans of the baby's brain whilst pregnant. Sounds interesting and will get some really detailed scan video from it but am in two minds about it at the minute.

The best bit though was booking a date for c-section so I know when I get to meet my baby for definite! I'm so excited but have resolved not to tell anyone we know the date in real life. However, I'm rubbish at keeping things like this to myself so we'll see...

It's really very very rare to not produce enough milk. It does happen of course. There are lots of reasons BF might not work out, people shouldn't feel guilt about any of them. The 6 weeks I expressed for ds2 was all he got and the others all got at least 6 months (dd1&ds1 - 6mths. Dd2 - 12mths) i had very strong feelings about it at the time and did end up on antidepressants. Looking back on it I can't for the life of me understand why it effected me that way.