June 2014: Thread 6! The 2nd trimester and Christmas shenanigans!

[GillyBillyWilly]

Boom!

I did NCT first time around, was good for meeting friends as has been said. The second time around there wasn't a refreshers course close to me but I made a load of friends through pregnancy yoga and they became my new support group. So there are loads of places to meet other Mums. I think tis time around am going to be so busy with the 3 but will try and do pregnancy yoga agaian as found it was very good for keeping me mobile and was very relaxing. She did a brilliant birth workshop as well.

SarahAnderson don't want to sound like a doom-monger and everyone is different but I was on my knees by 36 weeks last time and actually had to bring my leave forward to 35 weeks. Most of my friends were similar and really struggled at the end. And however much you love your job you will just not be as engaged at the end - it's all the hormones! Would other second/third/more timers agree with me? I would plan for taking more time if you can.

I have my scan in just over an hour!!! Feeling nervous to be honest, had a good scan at 7 weeks but that was a long time ago now. And I'm 35 now and worried re: risk of issues. Fingers crossed. Anyone know how long it took to get the bloods results?

I didn't go to NCT classes but whenever I go to an NCT-run event(often) I find it to be not 'yummy mummies' (and dads) but real hands-on-full-time-attachment-parent-extended-breastfeeding types which may or may not appeal to you. good luck with making real mum friends though all; I see 0 of mine now not for want of trying and trying and trying

Thanks for the advice re nct weekend vs weekday.
I thought DH would prefer weekend, but he says he doesn't mind. Plus he can give work five months notice of the five evenings he needs to leave at his contracted hours! So I kind of see his point!

Sarah - have you checked that complies with your maternity policy? I'm not quite as eager as you, but I was planning on working as long as possible so I could maximise time off with baby. But annoyingly my mat leave policy requires you take 75% of your annual leave before you go on mat leave. And the latest mat leave can start is your EDD (or the day baby is born if earlier). No more than 25% leave can be carried over and won't be paid out either.

So, if I start my mat leave on my EDD, I have to take 4weeks holiday between jan-jun next year. And even then, if baby comes early I will lose holiday as mat leave will automatically start earlier and holiday won't be paid out or be able to roll to next year!

NCT only offers Saturday classes here, and only in one location 25 miles away. Still, I think it'll be worth it for us, even though I'm scared of the breastfeeding mafia and the accompanying attitude (I know it's great for some people but the local coffee shop has La Leche League in once a week and you'd think it'd be a chance to make mum friends, instead I want to stay far away on those days ).

I'm sticking to what I'm used to from back home, maternity leave 6 weeks before EDD. The atmosphere at work has become very sour in the time I've been off sick, so my mantra of 'only three more months' is helping with my anxiety regarding that. Besides, I have to be on my feet all day and often it can be really hectic so I wouldn't want to stay longer than I have to (leave year starts in April so I can take 2 weeks of that, too).

There's still tons of decorating to be done in our new house and my best friend is going to fly over and visit, so I'm actually really looking forward to it.

Jaykay - wow, that is really bad. I don't know if mine is like that. Haven't told work yet but will do so next week and get all the details on maternity leave then. I will be pretty pissed off if it is like yours. I'll be trying to do loads of work before I leave to keep things ticking over when I'm off, and being forced to 'use it or lose it' would be mighty annoying.

FWIW my job is physically very straightforward, I just sit at a desk, occasionally move to sitting in a meeting room, then back to my desk... It couldn't be easier really

My NCT group was pretty middle class but definitely not yummy-mummy. They were pretty representative of the area I live in, and are all quite a mixed bunch. Those involved at NCT events I think are more along the attachment-parenting/extended breastfeeding spectrum but I think that's quite a core part of NCT philosophy. The people who actually went to the classes however were quite upfront about mainly wanting people to eat cake with. Our NCT class leader was definitely a bit hippy but it gave everyone a bit of a giggle and something to bond over.

We went for the evening class and although I found it really late as was knackered it meant we got to know each other over a period of a couple of months instead of a weekend. Importantly everyone started meeting for coffee/cake before babies arrived which I think gave a chance to break the ice properly. Having babies together can be a huge bonding experience. It's the biggest thing that's ever happened to me and I found it quite difficult at first, I feel like my NCT group really understand what it was like for me (and likewise I them) in a way that even DP doesn't as they were there on the days when you felt like you'd been hit by a truck! We also have a group email and email most days. I don't know why NHS antenatal classes don't seem to form the same friendship groups - I think it might be because they are shorter?

Re maternity leave I think I'm going to aim to go up to 3 weeks before my due date which is what I did with DS. He was 2 weeks late so I actually ended up being at home twiddling my thumbs for 5 weeks which was too long but being second time this one might not be as late.

It's suprisingly boring being massive and waiting for a baby to come! I didn't feel like doing much.

Also on buggies... we had a babystyle Oyster for Ds but he never liked it and compared to other pushchairs it just doesn't look very comfy/cosy. I'd look at other babies all snuggled up and cosy and DS was just sort lying on this shelf?! So I think I'm going to try and get to an NCT sale and see what we can pick up 2nd hand.

I did nct evening classes last time. I was really nervous but the other couples were all normal! The only weird session was when they called in a bf specialist who was a little "airy" and stereotypical but by then we knew everyone so could laugh about it. One of my closest friends now is someone I met there and I'm still in touch with two other couples. Definitely worth it for first timers and my DH agrees.

I made most friends from some classes run at my local surgery (now at sure start centre) run by health visitor from about 4 weeks old. Our group of 8 continued meeting and three years on, we were all out on a girls night last weekend! Definitely do something to meet people if you don't know others with newborns. It's so nice to just say "is it normal that my baby is doing this" and have other mothers to say yes!

Morning all, i looked at NCT classes in my area and we have only one on one courses in my town and the rest is a bit too far to go, so i would stick to NHS classes.

Last night was a bit weird for me as I couldnt get myself comfortable, seems like its impossible to get comfy on any side and the only option for me was to lie on my back..sorry for details but i was a bit paranoid at nights im very desperate for a wee and when im back in bed it just feels like my bladder or the bottom area is a bit tense, do i have to worry?

For what it's worth, here are my thoughts on NCT.

We met some really nice people (which is why we did it), and it was a total godsend to have a group of Mums to meet up with when the babies were little. 4.5 years on, our group still meets up, although one by one people are drifting away from London.

We had a good teacher too, but as the NCT is heavily natural childbirth influenced, we naturally discussed natural childbirth more than procedures such as caesarians. I have heard reports from other mums on here that say their teachers never discussed medicalised procedures at all!

Also, depending on your area, I think the makeup of parents can be very varied. I met someone on our NCT course who had transferred over from another part of London as she found the other parents too different - she worked in the Arts, they all worked in the City. Our group was really mixed, artsy, teachers, civil servants etc.

We also attended classes at our local hospital which was very, very useful in terms of their policies, procedures, and good factual information on all the interventions and possible outcomes. For us this was ideal as we ultimately ended up having an emergency c-section.

So - NCT for meeting people and 'big picture stuff', hospital classes for the facts.

Sorry about the ultra long post.

That's a good point hackney bird. Even if you do NCT classes, still worth doing hospital class as the info is quite different. I didn't because I was planning on a homebirth (haha) but they might have prepared me better for the high-risk-strapped-to-the-monitor-epiduralled-emergency-c-section birth that I actually had.

Jay Riblet & those I've missed - I didn't have a brilliant time with NCT. It was a small group (5) - others lived walking distance from each other & so I wasn't invited to ad hoc things. Meet ups alternated location but none of them seemed comfortable coming to my house (I live in the poorest area in the city) so never did. I'm still in touch with 1 of them but not close. I did however make good friends with the lady that ran the course (even though we're very very different she had home births bf a long time etc I am the daughter of a doctor & like drugs!) & we see each other regularly.

I think it's partly luck just with any random bunch of people. It really depends how much the money is for you, it is certainly worth the risk if you can afford it & most people have very good experiences.

I'm not sure what to do this time though as I don't know anyone local & pregnant. Possibly NCT refresher if they run one or look into if NHS offer anything. I need to work out how to get on to the fbk group & see if any of you lot live near me...you'll do! ;)

I'm in NI and most people I see day to day seem to be the Daily Mail reading type, so I am hoping the NCT is going to be a more varied group.

I am actually a bit weird in the 'hippy' regard - I am heavily into alternative medicine, homeopathy, meditation, ritual... but I find attachment parenting just a step too far and while I think slings/baby carriers are fabulous the term 'baby wearing' gives me hives.

I have to change GP in the new year, I am hoping the health centre nearby will have group sessions for moms-to-be.

A friend of mine did NCT but refused to do hospital classes as she was scared of the birth and didn't want to know too much about it. She did NO preparation whatsoever. She ended up being induced and with an e -c-section and was very traumatised, I personally think as she had chosen not to read up beforehand,this may have contributed to her trauma.

I agree with you too, that the NCT provided a group for me to meet up with before the babies were born. The NCT also set up a mailing list for ALL the mums in our area, so a few of the more confident mums arranged meet ups too.

Also agree with others that it's a good idea to focus on weekly classes rather than weekend, and there are all sorts of pre natal activities you can take part in, such as pregnancy yoga. I'm going to do that I think.

Anyone heard from panic? She had her scan/harmony results yesterday and not a peep since. I hope she's ok.

No, I was wondering how panic was doing but I haven't seen her around.

I live at the arse end of nowhere, it's unlikely I'll go into the Belfast for meet-ups if there's no train station nearby (don't like driving in the inner city, it's madness) but the NCT meetings are out in Newtownbreda and I used to work there so know the area - hopefully parents would be from nearby.

Thanks all re. NCT, very useful information. I think the location thing is partly what's bothering me Bumble as the area I live in isn't the greatest and is a bit away from where the classes are based, although have decided to go for the nearer class as part of their area isn't that different to mine. Also it seems smaller and a bit less intimidating. The problem now is that because it is smaller they do much fewer classes. There is one that covers my due date (although last class is mid May which might be pushing it given twin arrive time stats) and it's 5 evenings, which I would prefer, but a couple of them clash with when DH plays sport. By then it'll be near the end of the season and will be the last couple of weeks of a tournament but just spoke to him and he's all like "what if I'm in the semis or the final, It's going to cause problems, blah blah blah". I have been quite even tempered so far and restrained in unleashing any hormone-fuelled rage but I told him in measured tones designed to suggest 'don't cross me over this' that it's up to him to decide on his priorities - it's not even a serious pursuit but a bloody pub league ffs!

Hope all is ok with Panic

Help! Does anyone have any experience with taking antihistamine whilst pregnant? The NHS website says it's not recommended but if you need to there is a couple of types safe to take whilst pregnant but when i went to the pharmacist just now she noticed my baby on board badge and told me she was unable to sell any to me as they are not safe to take whilst pregnant! I have to go to the DH's Aunties house tomorrow all day and they have a big dog I'm allergic to I usually just take allergy tablets and am fine but now am not sure what to do?

Lmf, any chance you could ring your GP?

I thought you could take cetirizine in an emergency...

Ironically given our chatter, I've just received an email from the NCT confirming my booking - I was expecting an email with more information first as it says it's an enquiry form!

Might book first, talk to work later....

I also have to use all my leave before may leave (can carry over 5 days I think) so plan to take 5 weeks before my due date, unless I use a week or so along the way.
Last time I worked til 38 weeks and was knackered. I work at a desk but have to get a train in which is exhausting and add to that the fact that my job is fairly pressured and stress is not helpful I plan to get some rest in instead.

Even though dd was 2 weeks late I could have done with more down time beforehand. The two years of sleepless nights that followed were quite a shock!

I'm lucky as our leave year goes from April to April and you are allowed to roll over your whole leave when you're on maternity - ordinarily you can only roll over 7 days.

I'd rather take a few weeks leave before starting maternity, though, just to get my full pay a few weeks longer, but if for any reason they are awkward about blocking my leave and telling me I can't have it then I'll start mat leave 10 weeks before EDD and take my leave afterwards.

Lady I agree. With my first I thought is be fine working late but actually I found that pre-baby maternity leave a blissful time! Not to preach to the first time mummies (as patronising mummies during my first pregnancy drove me mental! ) but you are knackered and that is last time you will get to do the following for a very long time:

Lie in
Have day time naps when if suits you
Bake at leisure
Slob out watching daytime TV with no interruptions
Wonder around the shops with just a handbag
Read trashy magazine in Starbucks for way longer than you should!

Oh the bliss. Especially with June babies, lounging in the park with a coffee and a newspaper and the sun shining will be the tits!

Obviously the baby arriving is fantastic in its own way but your time will never be 'yours' again, so my advice is to treat it as a little holiday and have as much time as you can afford.

Maternity leave with DS in tow, doesn't have quite the same appeal - although it will be fun in a different way!

Apart from the NCT classes, the hospital tour is priceless (and actually free!) knowing where you are going and visualising the rooms etc was hugely helpful for me.

Just back from the hospital, scan was all good. Nuchal measurements looked normal, nasal bone present. Just got to wait for the bloods now - said it could be delayed due to Christmas post so I think we are just going to tell now and hope for the best. Very relieved .

And they've booked me in for my Glucose Tolerance Test already. Yuck. 9th January. Best try and lay off the cake for a bit then...

On top of everything my thryoid TSH levels are really quite high so have had to up my dose but explains why I'm feeling quite so shite, but with cold hands and feet. Hopefully when increased dose kicks in I'll have the energy to run again.

Oh, and due date has changed slightly:

BEEwitched 26th May
pomdereplay 28th
Sasafraz may 28th
Penguin13 29th
Winkly 29th
SicknSpan 30th
Bezzabelle 31st
highlandfling10 1st June
grainofrice 1st
WooWooCaChoo 1st
cjbk1 1st
bludgerwitch 2nd
monkeybananas 2nd
GillyWillyBilly 2nd
Mezzaluna 3rd
carrie105 3rd
bee024 3rd
wispaxmas 4th
Seatfor5 4th
Loudandlarge 4th
MAgirl75 5th
Katsan 5th
Cheesysmile 5th
Mrs MLB 6th
Norah Vanstone 6th
CarrotCakeMuffins 6th
AuntPittyPat 6th
adaloveslace 7th
MrsCharlieD 7th
LondonSuperTrooper 8th
barnsey14 8th
Winglet 8th
Hannahc1989 9th
Hackneybird 9th
Snowlet 10th
Threefromdesire 10th
Twinsmonplusone 10th
noseymcposey 10th
Kirsty4609 11th
TheMoonInJune 11th
CleverOl10 11th
Riblet 11th
squiglet 12th
Giraffelegs 12th
Ginandstripes 12th
Mixology 13th
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NessieMcFessie 13th
Londoncitymum 13th
just 13th
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blondiedollface 14th
sebsmummy1 14th
MinaLeeds 14th
liquidambar 15th
Hackneybird 15th
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MTMD 15/16th
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RaRa1988 16th
Mitchell2 16th
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Sussex31 17th
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Bellygazing 18th
Beckala 20th
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Unoriginalusername123 20th
Annabanana25 20th
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Jessiebaba 27th
Batmam 28th
Stacks 28th
PoppySeed2014 29th
Mrsb2013 1st July
catslicer ???
airyfairy123 ???
SparklyMasterMummy ????
kirstlovestea ???
Junebaby2014 ???
Kittygirl33 ???
Girlsgotink85 ???
Summer29 ???
Pussycat ??
Coldofhands ??

misshooha - that's good to know - not patronising! unfortunately my hospital doesn't do tours - instead they've loaded a video on their website!

Ladies, from your previous experience and in general is that normal that bottom part of belly feels tense?