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June 2014: Thread 6! The 2nd trimester and Christmas shenanigans!

980 replies

GillyBillyWilly · 12/12/2013 15:22

Boom! Grin

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LadyGoneGaga · 17/12/2013 13:46

Anyone else on 3 or more encoutering any negativity from others? When I announced my second child I had pretty much blanket "congratulations". This time I have had "Was it planned", "Wow, really?", "I'm shocked", "you are brave", , and my persoanl favourite "Did you mean to monopolise the earth's resources?". To which I stated that as they also had different Dad's I was planning for a clean sweep on Daily Mail hatred (NB. Only 2 different Dad's). I am 35 years old, married, both in stable, professional jobs, not on benefits, we own a 4 bedroom house in a good area. As far as I know the existing children are well turned out and loved and not neglected. What's with the negativity people? It's not like I'm going to be on 18 kids and counting FGS!

Bumblebeesmum · 17/12/2013 13:57

Kitty I'm not sure food poisoning & hygiene standards is the main issue - listeria can give you 0 symptoms whatsoever & deform an unborn baby. But I totally agree that people need to relax 27 cases in uk 2011 total with most babies fine. I'm also going by the be sensible do your best & not OTT rule.

Ladygonegaga sorry you're experiencing that. Only no 2 for me so not had it but it sounds horrible.

mylittlel · 17/12/2013 13:59

ladies can we have mayonnaise?

donnas1984 · 17/12/2013 14:07

mylittle shop bought jars are fine but homemade mayo contains raw egg and isn't pasteurised so personally I wouldn't xx

InTheBEEwitchedWinter · 17/12/2013 14:09

Yes, as long as it's commercial, e.g. Hellmann's - not homemade mayonnaise, though.

Bumblebeesmum · 17/12/2013 14:10

Mylittle jar/shop bought yes homemade no as it has runny eggs (I think - what do I know I can't cook)

I sound like I think I'm a right know it all - I had absolutely awful back pain with no 1 & ended up in bed reading about absolutely everything & surfing internet for hours. I might have learnt about sushi etc & any symptom I suffered with - but in reality know v little about most things !! :)

donnas1984 · 17/12/2013 14:13

ladygone thats terrible! Some people really need to think before they speak! xx

ItsaWonderfulLifeofGru · 17/12/2013 14:26

ladygone we are expecting DC3 and yes, I am quite anxious about how it will be received by work. Lots of women have 2 in my profession, but few have 3 children. Interestingly plenty of the males I work with have 3+ children.

I am hoping friends and family will be fine. There are a few families with 3 or more at my daughter's school. We are both highly skilled professionals with plenty of tax and NI contributions and a loving family home to bring our children up in. It shouldn't be an issue for others. Children are a blessing, not a burden.

Jessiebaba · 17/12/2013 14:28

All this talk of food (especially the baked camembert) is making my mouth water!

Welcome Donna I noticed that you said you're north of the border - so am I! Xmas Smile Whereabouts are you?

LadyGoneGaga · 17/12/2013 14:39

Homemade mayo fine as long as you use lion stamped eggs as removes risk of Salmonella. Same goes for home made hollandaise etc. and raw cake mixture! That said I would eat it fairly freshly made, not hanging around for ages.

wifeofGru same here. Not that many parents of 3 in the office, there are a few though. But my boss's boss has three. She did have a nanny though. Which we certainly won't have. Just the amazingly rude responses. Since when is it ok to ask if a baby was planned or not? The real answer is sort of, we had the debate multiple times, WE both couldn't decide so left it up to fate. Doesn't take a genius to work out if you have sex without contraception you'll probably end up pregnant eventually. But i'm not going to share that with randoms in the office!

Bumblebeesmum · 17/12/2013 14:50

LadyG When I told my manager he said "Was it planned? I thought you were happy with 1? I didn't know you were trying"
Yeah because I was likely to tell work that!!!
Try & think of a witty response to have up your sleeve (the DM was v funny but not attacking of them enough) :)

Biffle · 17/12/2013 14:51

ladygone I have experienced much the same as this is DC3 for me with the usual comments like was it planned? Are you mad? But you already have 2!! and my personal favourite "have you not seen the news this week? You won't get benefits for more than two!!" - I might add that both DP and I are in well paid stable jobs and we do not claim benefits for existing children so have no idea why my uncle thought this was either appropriate or relevant. This will be my DPs first baby and we had the conversation very early on in our relationship about whether or not I wanted anymore children as my daughters are now 8 and 9. Stupid small minded people out there ...

Riblet · 17/12/2013 14:57

Lady, what an odd response from people, it's not as if it's that unusual to have 3, or is it these days?! I could maybe if understand close friends or family were concerned by the extra work or whatever but people making comments like that is just rude and unnecessary!

Riblet · 17/12/2013 14:59

Although saying that, when we've told people we're having twins, most have said "oh well, gets them all out of the way in one go" as if the idea of possibly wanting more than 2 is alien to them! My DB and SIL have 3 and I never thought it was unusual (we were a 3) but maybe some people think it is.

Jessiebaba · 17/12/2013 15:14

This is my first so no negative comments about it being my third (obviously) but I have had some snooty remarks regarding the fact that I've got two dogs Angry And I look young for my age so those who don't actually know what age I am and have assumed I'm something like 18 (I'm actually 26 - will be 27 by EDD) have made a few negative/sarcastic remarks like 'Is that even legal?' sigh

SarahAnderson · 17/12/2013 15:47

Just told my boss at work. He's actually my very new boss - my reporting line changed about a week ago, so this was our second meeting. He was SO happy for me, it was lovely. I was the one trying to tell him all about my childcare plans, what it was and wasn't going to affect, etc., and he just wanted to talk about my holidays and how I was feeling! Very very nice.

He was sceptical about whether I'd really want to come back (I do not intend to take much maternity leave) and quoted a long list of other women he'd worked with who'd said much the same thing then taken ages off... I find this one impossible to answer as of course I can't provide any evidence against it. But I suppose it's better that I was feeling pressure to relax into the maternity rather than the other way around, even if it did feel a little patronising at the time. Feels great that I can finally 'come out' generally at work. Even better that I can stop wearing this ridiculous big jacket I've lived in for the past couple of weeks!

Regarding food choices: I am relaxed about trying cheese, but not gorging on the soft stuff, and also trying tiny bits of pate when it's on the table in front of me without making it my main source of food. Friends of ours from Paris visited at the weekend bringing loads of smelly cheese, pate and wine and I sampled all three, although only had a tiny fraction of what I would normally have had.

Nice tip on the Stilton, I'd forgotten about that. Must take some up to the in-laws so I can indulge over Christmas.

donnas1984 · 17/12/2013 16:05

jessie I live in Ayrshire on the south west coast it's been very chilly here lately with the high winds! Where are you from? x

Jessiebaba · 17/12/2013 16:11

I'm in Falkirk/Stirling area Donna the weather hasn't been too pleasant here lately either! Good to have you on here - I think most of the other ladies are based in London Smile

panicmechanic · 17/12/2013 16:21

Hi all! Can I bounce something off you? I have just had a call from my NHS midwife to say my combined test has come back high risk 1:143 and they are encouraging me to have an amnio. I explained my harmony results were 1:10000 and fmc 1:870 and I have a cvs booked in. I feel really confused and emotional it's horrible. Fmc warned me that my combined test might low as my age 42 will be a big factor. Anyone else got good harmony and high risk c

panicmechanic · 17/12/2013 16:22

Oops I meant to say high risk combined?

Liquidambar · 17/12/2013 16:57

Bee thanks for sharing :) Guidelines back home are even more strict. It's amazing how things change from country to country. But above all it all comes down to common sense. As you said, I would not eat pate in a place I don't know or even a big salad, as I don't know if it has been properly washed.

I am okay with the cheese, but I miss my deli meats. I am not immune to toxoplasmosis, so I try to avoid certain things like parm ham.

lady how annoying! Everyone has an opinion about the world, what car you should drive, where to live, which school, how many children... blahh!

Panic sorry to hear about the different results. I would say harmony is a bit more comprehensive and accurate, no? But I am I do not know much about it. I am sure people at the hospital will be able to advise you. Good luck.

Brrr... I am also in Scotland jessie and donnas and it is really chilly. The wind is horrendous!

InTheBEEwitchedWinter · 17/12/2013 16:57

I would probably trust the Harmony over the combined, I know neither is diagnostic but the combined seems to be not that trustworthy, esp. as it factors in statistics and not just pure results, iykwim.

I know it's ironic of me to say that since I was panicking about my 1:342 Trisomy 18 result a few weeks ago, but 1:143 is just under the cut-off of 1:150 and with the positive Harmony results thrown in I wouldn't worry too much and just wait for the CVS - it'll come to light then, anyway, just in case something is wrong.

Liquidambar · 17/12/2013 16:59

Sorry, pressed the bottom too early.
DS had his Christmas party this afternoon. He was a "wise man". Of course I cried the moment they entered the room. Pregnancy/hormones and Christmas are not a good combination

Wispa have a safe flight and enjoy your time. I really like Toronto :)

LadyGoneGaga · 17/12/2013 17:00

Panic I would just go with the Harmony. Or really what was the point in having it/paying for it? It's meant to be really accurate isn't it? I wouldn't do CVS or Amnio personally (as you've already come out low risk on Harmony) as you're putting baby at risk unnecessarily if Harmony telling you fine.

donnas1984 · 17/12/2013 17:00

panic im afraid I dont know much about the test I didnt have them hope someone can give you some good clear advice xx
liquid where abounds are you from?

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