Graduated Elderberries. Thread 9

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting or just had their first baby.

I agree alex, do what you need to and what feels right! Gut instinct has a lot to do with it.

Is it wrong that Harvey is now nicknamed podge in our house? Mean, but quite accurate Also he is starting to look a bit like a monk, the hair lower down on the back of his head is nice and think and dark, the rest has thinned, probably through rubbing on bedding etc and is much less prolific. Poor wee boy is a podgy monk Lucky hes a cute one really, as he pulls it off rather well. He looks at me now and will watch me as I walk around, plus he is very smily....its lovely

Beautiful name Alex! As others have said, let her sleep on you - if you can prop yourself up and get someone to watch ovr you so you can snooze, even better.

The early days of breastfeeding are crazy intense - especially around days 3-4 when milk comes in and they want to feed ALL the time. But it gets easier (and the poos get nicer). There's another noticeable growth spurt around 10 days and then 6 weeks ish iirc.

I think my hormones have retro altered my memories of the early days as I look back at the sleep deprivation (mine has definitely improved so far touchwood ), the crying (mine) and the rows and I seem to only remember the nice bits - like H sleeping on my chest :) - but I do remember it being a huge adjustment, so I won't blithely say 'enjoy it, newborn babies are the best'cos I found tthat immensely annoying when I was there lol.

You'll find your way, honest :)

Oh my god, at 4 weeks 5 days old Harvey slept through the night. Think it must just have been because of his bcg jab yesterday. He slept through but I was awake at 4, 5, 6 and now checking on him lol. He went down at midnight and is still asleep.....bless him.

Miles has slept through twice... Both times after jabs... Never again though...can I ask for some additional jabs do you think?

Well done Harvey!

Strike through fail

I dont know if it was the jab or the calpol....either way I'll take it!! How old is Miles now janey? Yeah just get him some extra immunity and enjoy some good long sleep

I was awake at 4,5,6 an 7 think my body was in shock!

He was born on 28th June, so five and a half months now. How the hell did that happen?!

wow didnt realise it was that long ago!!

mother at 4/5 days old he was really sleeping through the night?! It's only day 3 for us but last night I got a couple of hours sleep altogether as little Sophia is crying a lot and won't go in her own bed for long. I'm wondering if she's distressed about something or breastfeeding isn't working out properly as when she cries it really sounds like she's so worked up or in pain! Or maybe a cold as she is wheezing/coughing/sneezing quite a bit and her breathing's really heavy, the midwife said that could be congestion about childbirth. She's fallen asleep on me now after a feed and is looking adorable, so I'm wondering if everything's fine and maybe I just don't have one of those babies that are all chilled and barely cry, or whether I need to be looking into finding an answer so she isn't distressed!

Hey

Have sent you some texts... But just to say I think mother said at four weeks and five days, not at 4/5 days, fear not!

Sorry to say that it sounds normal. For the first two weeks our nights and days were all over the place!

I think if Sophia (really do love the name) is happy when she's in your arms, she's probably fine. I guess she just cries as she's used to being inside you, so being separate from you us scary! Sent you a few ideas to try though, but realistically you might just have to do what she needs for now as hope it calms down in a week or two.

One thing, don't underestimate how long you need to wind them for. Aaaages in Miles' case. Did you ever see me winding him sat on my chest facing away from me? A midwife showed me and it was the only way to shift wind that nothing else could. Or look up tiger in a tree and try that...

Sounds to me like Sophia is just a lovely normal newborn baby. They do cry a lot and take up all your time!

I was struggling with winding as I don't know how and was finding it hard to get up with her with the stitches, but I will google tiger in a tree as I vaguely remember that!

I really hope it's normal! I can def cope with the tiredness and will try not to let her crying upset me, as long as nothing's wrong. Some of my NCT girls are having to set alarms to wake up their babies for feeds as they're sleeping lots at night (jel) so I just can't work out why little Sophia isn't a sleepy baby. Obviously I selfishly wish she was but more importantly I want to make sure she isn't in pain or anything, so winding properly is a good idea.

Sorry if it sounds like I'm moaning straight away, am absolutely in love with her and just want to work out how to make sure she's ok!

Alex it doesn't sound like you're moaning at all (and even if you were you are allowed to!). You're just trying to do the best for her and its a bloody steep learning curve as I understand it! Great to hear you are both doing well even if v tired

Thanks merk, bet you're getting excited about yours - how many weeks have you got to go now?

Sophia is fast asleep on my tummy and has been for a couple of hours, only crying when I put her on the bed to go to the loo! Can I just ask if anyone else has fallen asleep with their baby on them or is it a massive no no? I know it's not advised but so tempting when it's the only time it's possible to sleep!

I have Alex loads of times
I used to put a pillow under each arm so as she would not roll over if I relaxed them too much and always be right in the middle of the bed. I know you're not supposed to but it was the only way for me as she would not be put down for a minute!!!

I found it nearly impossible to nap after H arrived - annoying and weird - but one time I let it happen.

He was asleep on my chest and I was on the reclining sofa. I pushed it back to the nearly lying position and wedges us so he couldn't move. Was a really precious hour of snuggly snoozing.

What kind of stitches are you struggling with? Did you end up with a section?

Have spent a thoroughly delightful morning painting pottery... aka getting paint everywhere in a bid to get H's handprints. It's something I used to do a lot years ago so it felt like a real treat!

The woman in the cafe was an angel - really helpful in the mission to handprint and then held him for half an hour while I added embellishments to the bits we got done. Haven't quite finished so will have to go back tomorrow - and I can't wait!

alex, it was last night he slept through, only because he had a jab tho. At 4/5 days I was celebrating if I got 2 or 3 hours straight. It all sounds normal to me, the first week is hectic and crazy and you spend the whole time worrying if its normal or if they're ok.

We sleep with Harvey in with us a bit, normally if he wont settle at 5/6am, we either build an area for him between our pillows (we have a king size bed so there is room) or I lay with him next to me with one arm under his head and one arm round him, it feels most natural to me and I've never moved let alone rolled when I've been layed with him. When he was tiny I tried to make him a little nest out of covers so he couldnt roll or move from where I'd put him, made me feel safer and kept him safe and snug.

I agree re the wind, Harvey seems fine when upright and will sleep in my arms, but as soon as hes layed down he screams. I have to use 3 or 4 different techniques to get all his wind up. I found laying him across my knees and rubbing his back worked well when he was tiny. The tiger in the tree one is amazing but works better for my OH than me as his forearms are a better size.

Just remember you are doing a fab job!! Its a huge huge learning curve and its super tough, worth it though!!

oh and I never woke Harvey up to feed him, even if I had he would have been to grouchy to feed and then no doubt would have fallen asleep again anyway. I always figured he would wake up when he was hungry?

oh the joys of motherhood. Got home just for Viki's bedtime, he got a nice feed and..projectile vomited it all over our bed. Which means he will wake up hungry soon and I had the joy of changing not only his clothes, but also our super king bed that I changed just yesterday. Babies..

Oh Hazle

What a pain!

mother my tired brain got that all wrong about sleeping through the night which I'm glad about as gives me hope!

So it turns out my baby is nocturnal! Slept all day today near enough, we had guests so didn't manage to sleep, and then at 10pm she woke up for a late night party!

What isn't helping is I'm not sure she's getting enough milk from me. My boobs are hot and huge suddenly so hopefully they'll be letting out enough milk soon. My nipples are killing me though, all cracked and sore, and one has a dark red almost black sore - I think she's latching properly though so can that much pain be normal? She really kicked off earlier after a feed so I wondered whether she's starving, then she fed again but now seems irritated and is sucking her hand. Do I just keep trying until she's getting enough milk? Using loads of lanisoh in between feeds but it still makes my toes curl!

Hey Alex, sounds like you're doing an amazing job! A few things worth knowing. ..

A) it takes a good few weeks for babies to respond to day/night - but part of the reason will be:

B) babies suck a lot around day 3-4 to place their milk supply order and get your milk in. It has very little to do with actual hunger. One midwife told me the near-constant feeding (plus lots of spit-up) is also designed to help prevent mastitis.

They feed/suck more at night because the hormone prolactin which makes breastmilk is much more active at night. This is difficult for mums but is actually a clever production tool.

C) All of this hurts :( I remember that horrible toe-curling pain. It does get better though - I don't think I used lansinoh after first week (apart from during a growth spurt)) - and now I sometimes have to check if H is even latched on.

D) Sounds like a blood blister , may be that her latch isn't quite ideal - it's really hard for newborns to successfully navigate the small mouth-big nipple problem. I'd give a support line or mw a call tbh - they'd be happy to help check the latch and offer encouragement.

Oops - epic again keep going tho - the first 2 weeks of breastfeeding are the toughest. It does get easier!

God all that and I was clear as mud - the fussing could be wind, but it's also an integral part of the milk order - more fussing = more boob = more milk. Don't worry about her getting enough milk - she will be (stomach is tiny at the mo) - this is just part of the supply chain model.

Thanks

Oops posted too soon! Thanks brave that's really reassuring. She's def putting in a big milk order!!

Am so tired I just drifted off with her on my tummy after a feed! Tried to sneakily put her into her crib yet again and she woke up straight away screaming so DH is cuddling her and she's fallen asleep on him - not in a safe position though so I'll watch and wait and try and move her soon. Though not into her crib as she'll burst into tears again?!

Ohh yes I remember the hot painful boobs wheny milk came in, I feep for you alex! Thankfully it passes pretty quickly. I also had the blistery boobs, again not fun but it didnt last long.

Harvey surprised me again by sleeping 12-6, unfortunately I seem to be programmed to be wide awake at 4am sods law huh.