Graduated Elderberries. Thread 9

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting or just had their first baby.

Re your last message cavort, it's not a failure at all. She played with her food, brought it to her mouth (amazing!) and tasted it. They're not supposed to eat much at all yet, isnt it just getting them used to the idea and introducing different flavours? In which case it was a roaring success!

there you are, marking place.
I haven't tried giving Viki finger foods yet, I'm (I know, totally irrationally) terrified that he will choke. Have to get over that first. Then again, I'm terrified he will choke when he eats puree as well. I wanted to do BLW and wait til he starts grabbing food himself, but with his bottle refusal, the spoon-feeding is a more reasonable option right now, at least he will get some food in.

In other news, PILs are driving me nuts with their faffing. We told them we're getting rid of guest room furniture, to make it into Viki's room. They asked if they can get it, they'll rent a van and come pick it up. Fine, we say. (Although it is used Ikea furniture, they will probably spend more on van rental and petrol than the furniture is worth. And they live in an old Alsatian style farm house filled with antique furniture, the modern ikea stuff will look absolutely ridiculous. But anyway).

And honestly, the plans about when exactly they will come have been changed about 200 times. Because it might snow or it might be too late/early or there might be traffic or...gaah. And of course we have other plans and then have to change them and then they'll change theirs again. They're elderly, FIL drives like a stereotypical old man and MIL is terrified of motorway, so we're trying to accommodate them, but honestly, I'm tempted to just set the bloody furniture on fire.

Hi guys, just marking place

Hello

Cavort - when I give finger foods she tastes them but doesn't actually eat any. I was very keen to do BLW but obviously it's imperative I actually get calories into little skinnymalink so I'm mostly using the I between measure of handing her loaded spoons. That way she's still feeding herself in line with BLW principles it's just not finger foods but the idea is that they have the coordination and inclination to feed themselves and she's still doing all that. Worth a go if you get frustrated? Though I'm sure if you give it time she'll get the hang of finger foods, it doesn't really matter if she actually eats it or not right now, it's just another at activity to her!

Ooh Hazle I can empathise, it sounds like Cotsheetgate with my MIL. Though I have to sing her praises in the interests of fairness; she arrived on Saturday with 44 frozen home cooked meals, a grid plan of our freezer so that she could tessellate all the Tupperware boxes as she'd planned, and a printed menu to stick on our kitchen wall to keep track of what we have eaten!!

Day 2 of maternity leave today (ended up working yesterday) and I am already grumpy and bored. What should I do with myself? Standing up for more than about 15 mins gives me horrible backache (though walking is mostly fine).

Quod, may I suggest wallowing around your local swimming pool (no swimming required, just bob around and give your back a rest) and eating ice cream. These are the two things that got me through while I waited for pickle to arrive.

Purple I was never really planning to do BLW as it seems like harder work but she currently puts absolutely everything in her mouth so I thought I would just see what she did with the finger food. I just gave her some mashed banana from a spoon and she was grabbing the spoon off me to feed herself and she happily drank water from the sippy cup so i'm actually quite pleased with weaning day 1 now. I think we will go with a combination of finger food and spoon fed.

So my next questions - are you mixing foods up or just offering them singly to work out what they like/don't like? And how much are your babies actually eating? I reckon once half of it had come out of her mouth, she actually ate about two spoonfuls of banana. I know the quantity is not important as first foods are just for fun although there is nothing fun about the current state of my kitchen but I just wondered?

I'm mixing finger food and spoon food. I'm mixing some food up some things up and giving some things on their own, o think over all i mostly mix stuff together. The only thing she's seemed really unsure of so far was scrambled egg and I think that was the lumpy texture but she gave it a go. Don't worry about her spitting must if it out it's their reflex to push everything out of their mouth to stop them choking, I found by the second week she'd stopped doing it as much as she got the hang of how to eat.
I'm increasing how much she has faster than I think you would normally but the paediatrician has given me 8 weeks to fatten her up and suggested I cram as many solids in as she will eat but I think the accepted way is to gradually increase amount slowly and to only give a few spoonfuls once a day to start. The mini monster has two meals a day and generally goes through a pot of fruit purée, a pot of some sort of vegetable mash then a couple of portions of porridge or rice in a day but we have a good few weeks head start on you!

Must stop trying to post whilst holding a wriggly baby, sorry for all the typos!

8 weeks to fatten her up or else what??

Cav a friend of mine recommended the Annabel karmel book for weaning. It gives you meal ideas as well as portion sizes. I find it really good. It only has purée stuff but you can then add the finger foods as you please. I'm also planning to do both and quite looking forward to it actually!!

Oh those are some impressive amounts purple.

Or else they stick needles in her and run some tests. The doctor is hoping that she just has high calorie needs so more solids will help hopefully.

Thanks Hazle the little piggy seems to be doing quite well with it.

Purple when's the weigh-in to see how much she's put on?

Oh how stressful purple
Keep shoving stuff down her throat lol. We're cheering from a distance x

I went on Monday so I've got approx 7 and a half weeks left. Could be a lot worse as a lot of the more sinister stuff it could be (cystic fibrosis, heart condition) they're petty sure it's not. She's hitting all her developmental milestones and she's got a normal size head (which is good as it means her brain is growing) just a really low weight, she's nearly falling off the bottom of the growth charts for weight so if the extra calories doesn't sort it they will have to investigate further.

So if anyone has any good ideas for high calorie food that's suitable for a baby let me know! I've bought avocado as I know that's the highest calorie fruit there is. Might have to try to get over my banana phobia

as for mixing, it's usually recommende to try new foods separately, just in case the baby is intolerant of something. Easier to figure out what it was.

I work with a girl who has a serious banana phobia. I discovered this when I got a banana out of my packed lunch and she reacted in the same way as if I had just thrown a Tarantula at her. Quite strange.

Good news that it's not anything more serious and she's developing normally, with what you say she's eating i'm sure she'll be gaining weight.

As well as eating solids and drinking water for the first time, Elodie has also finally rolled over for the first time today. She really struggled to go to sleep and is now napping but is really restless, probably as a result of her exciting morning. I hope this doesn't mean we are in for an even worse night than normal.

That's pretty stressful Purple - and is the complete opposite of what I understood which was that breastmilk has more calories than food hence 'first food is for fun'.

So are you still giving the usual amount of breastmilk with food food on top?

How incredibly complicated they try and make things.

Hopefully the plan will work anyway. Do you have a hunch what the problem might be? Have they already ruled out allergies and intolerance?

And if they've issued you with an ultimatum of sorts then really they could be more helpful - ie by putting you in touch with a dietician oe nutritionist.

Well done you for keeping so calm about it!

I had a birth debrief yesterday and was so glad I did. Got answers to ny questions, reassurance that it wasn't my fault that it ended up how it did, and also got an apology for the crap care immediately after delivery.

Feel so much better now. Totally recommend it to anyone who feels disappointed by the birth experience.

Marking place

Why did you ask for this debrief brave? What aspect of birth were you unhappy with?

Do you think the debrief helped you come to terms with it all bear? Is it the fact that you got answers about things or the fact it gave you chance to talk about it all? I did wonder about it myself but wasn't sure if it would help.

I thought the thing about breast milk having more calories too but they made the point that she's clearly not getting enough calories just from that so giving milk and solids can only help. I'm not panicking about it all but can't quite shift that woman sense of guilt that somehow this must all be my fault. Maybe my milk IS crappy?

No way is your milk crappy Purple. You just have a highly tuned young un who thought she'd start the ball rolling on giving you plenty of stories to embarrass her with in years to come :)

I found the birth pretty stressful - was freakishly calm in the moment but as time went on, things started to come back to me in bits. I was confused and very much blamed myself for needing assistance - in part due to some careless comments by the only men I encountered along the way!

Was good to find out that I was pushing for over 90 minutes before H's heartbeat started showing stress, and to find put he was halfway through the pelvis when he got stuck, for example.

The midwife was able to show me evidence that I hadn't failed and generally reassured me that it was just one of those things. The leading theory is that, even though he was only 7.14 with an average head, he may have been on the big side for me (I'm fairly petite).

So it was nice to get the facts and ot was nice to be able to talk it through - and be listened to.

The admission that 'there must have been a breakdown in communication' when I was taken to recovery also helped me forgive DP. I hadn't realised that I was still a bit mad at him for going home (even though I said ok) and leaving me with a naked baby, unable to move my legs, trying to dress him on no sleep in a post pethidine haze.

Turns out that a midwife should have dressed baby (or encouraged DP to), got us a crib, got us tea and toast, let us know how long we'd be there for and shown us the call button etc.

They got me some squash. And then kind of abandoned us for 4 hours.

It's a really small thing, but actually it really upset me and added to the idea in my head that I'd failed and thatDP was useless.

The upshot is I have some closure now. So for me, I'm very glad I had the balls to ask for the debrief. Otherwise I might well have made things so bad in my head that I'd end up with full blown tokophobia when the time comes to have number 2.