Graduated Elderberries. Thread 9

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting or just had their first baby.

Just a quickie- purple it's you and me love. I don't seem to be losing much weight either. Only a couple of pounds in fact. Have thought about thyroid but will now leave it until I'm back from hols as I know I will eat like a pig for 5 weeks

Mother due date is Sunday. I am horribly grumpy/hormonal so hope it does hurry up!

All you lot with babies - I've got to make a judgement call on when I attempt my viva now that I know it won't happen pre-baby. There's no way of knowing when I will get the brainpower back to manage it, is there? Realistically it means re-reading my 80k word thesis and rehearsing some arguments/discussions I might have to have about it. Not something you can do on no sleep! What advice?

Aside from the first few weeks after birth while recovering, I personally found the first months much easier than i'm finding it at the moment purely because I got more sleep, and Elodie slept much more than she does now so I had more time to myself during the day. Others may disagree but based on my experience I would do it around the 8-10 week mark, but of course you have no way of knowing what your baby will be like so it's still a bit of a gamble.

Agree! Weeks 6-12 by far the best for me including the end of pregnancy (when I was very bloody uncomfortable with a sideways baby).

Alex is home with a newborn

Weeks 2-4 were fine for me, he is currently a pain clingy and whingy as I believe he is going through his first leap. So nice to know there is a reason for this change...thank god for the wonder weeks app. Cant comment any further as yet.

Yay for alex, that was quick!! Hope she has a relativly restful night!

Congrats Alex!!!! And good luck Quod, you're nearly there!

What do you girls think of this? dh has come up with a cunning plan after hearing all your sleep problems. he'll take his 2 weeks when baby is born and then another 2 weeks about a month later to help when things start getting tougher. does that sound like a good plan to you?

I think it's a lovely idea to split it, as he gets to spend time with the baby at different stages. And I know all babies are different, but judging from what people have said on here and in my Nct group, most problems have arisen around 4-5 months so the extra help would be most useful then! The first few months were fine for us...

Tally I agree with Janey. My DH is self employed and couldn't really take time off after the birth but I managed ok - he used to leave me on the sofa with a stack of ibuprofen (I had forceps and episiotomy so was in quite a bit of pain for a few weeks) several box sets and a packed lunch in the fridge. Fast forward to 4 months and beyond when the sleeping all went to shit and I absolutely could not do without his help now! Naturally your DH will want time off when baby first arrives but in terms of taking additional leave to help you out I think 4+ months would be better.

Ok the latest in my neurotic weaning questions - what portion sizes are your babies eating? Unsurprisingly based on her weight gain, Elodie seems to be a bottomless pit when she likes something even though I am offering solids after a BF when she's not supposed to be hungry, so do I let her eat as much as she wants or just let her have a bit? And secondly, how long are you storing leftovers in the fridge before chucking away? I have been giving any leftovers the next day but not sure if I should be giving fresh every time?

so fruit purees have helped with the constipation, DH reported. Apparently the result was extremely large and nasty. And oh my god, I'm one of those women who discusses the content of diapers with random other people on internet

I was writing about when it's harders to be at home with the baby. Then realised that wait, I'm not at home with the baby.
But I still agree that it's a good idea to split the leave. When it's hardest depends on the baby though, for DH it was the time when I just returned and baby did not want to eat, so was hungry and grumpy the whole day. Would be excellent if your DHs employers could be at least somewhat flexible, depending on when you need him at home the most.

cavort the purees I'm using say that they can be kept in the fridge for 2 days after opening.

Me too on the nappy contents Hazle though many would say I have always talked shit. On discovering his first weaning nappy, I heard DH shout from upstairs, "I think it's a two man job!!"

God I'm dreading the nappies so much. DP wimps out at pooey ones as it is.

Have been trying to talk DP down from the 'look this baby rice is 4-6 months why can't we get some'. Is doing my head in. He has accepted the use of the banana test (if baby can reach out to bit of banana, hold it, put it in his mouth and swallow, they're ready for weaning).

Part of me is dreading the nappies - but also the sheer amount of effort required is slightly stressful. I'm not averse to hard work but getting anything done in the house with DS is a nightmare.

But I'll have to bite the solid food bullet soon - as he needs to be weaned before starting nursery :(

Cavort I've been making all mine and freezing in teeny pots (have been given loads). That means I only use a bit each day, so don't have leftovers and can't answer your storage question sorry. Is pretty handy though, just get a pot or two out each morning, and it's deforested by lunchtime ready to heat up, cool and serve. Means I can then mix all kinds of curious foods together. Today's broccoli and pear was a big success.

In terms of volume, I've no idea how much to give! He has baby rice at breakfast (2 teaspoons plus milk?) and two small pots at lunch of frozen purée. I guess each pot holds a tablespoon?

tally I think thats an awesome plan!

Trying to write with one hand as our baby - we've called her Sophia - is curled up on me fast asleep at home, looking ridiculously cute

I was saying to janey that she seems to like feeding a lot - she's been on my boobs more than she's been off today! She then likes sleeping on me straight after, and if I put her down she's cried quite a bit. I love having her sleeping on me but it means I can't catch up on sleep and I'm not sure if I'm meant to be getting her used to sleeping on her own to make it easier at night. Has anyone got any newborn tips I should remember?

I am that your DHs help with nappies, I remember when mine did that for about the first two weeks, then he lost interest and I'm lucky if he does about one a month now.

When I make food up it's usually one pot for now, one in the fridge for tomorrow or later today and one in the freezer so I'd say I usually only keep stuff in the fridge a day. It's no good me waffling on about how much food I cram down my baby (loads) because the circumstances are different so i won't bore you!

Oh x post, congrats again Alex, Sophia is a beautiful name, one of my favourites, it was on my short list actually but I couldn't tolerate the way my OH said it in his accent so unfortunately I couldn't have it!

alex lovely news! Sophia is a beautiful name!!! Bet she's gorgeous! So thrilled for you!

I did try to make sure I put Harvey down to get him used to sleeping in a cot on his own, mainly as I was in for 4 days and the midwives wouldnt allow us to let the baby sleep on us or in our bed. I found that the main reason he would wake was because he was chilly so just wrap her up all snug. When I was in the hospital I found that if I caught him as he stirred and rocked the crib it sent him back to sleep, still works to a degree too. When he was restless in hospital I put one of my tops in the cot so it smelt of me and that helped settle him. Just dont use one which has milk on it or she will want to feed more.

I feel awful as Harvey had his bcg today, I went with the idea that I would refuse it but the doctor made a good case and I decided to give him it. He is on the list for it as my OH is from South Africa which is higher risk. He has been fussy and has cried most of this afternoon/evening :-( I resorted to putting him in the bath to calm him down in the end. He now won't feed properly or sleep unless its on me. I wish I didn't give him it now The doctor said there would be no side effects so I dont know whether to blame the jab or not, seems quite a coincidence though! All I know is that I feel like an evil mother at the moment

Alex congratulations! You can't spoil a newborn, if she wants to sleep on you, let her. And yes, she might want to feed a lot - it will get better. Can we see a photo?

I started with home made (organic, picked by fairies and fertilised by unicorns, obviously) purees as well, but Viki clearly prefers commercial stuff - well, at least I can buy that organic and sugar-free, so I don't feel that guilty.

Also, he has been moving his bedtime earlier and earlier, used to be 8.30, but lately gets grumpy and wants to go to bed by 7. I know most people would enjoy the evenings, but as I work, I barely get to see him now. Hopefully it's just because it's dark.

If it helps mother I'm certain you've done the right thing; I was talking to DSIL (paws consultant) about the BCG and she said it's so important as some cases of TB are totally immune to drugs and so it's fatal. Not worth the risk. And I'm sure it's just coincidence, no effects on Miles apart from tears at the time.

Alex - sound advice from mother I'm sure. I'm useless about days 1-3 as I didn't even get to hold Miles after the first hour due to his intensive care stay... Have you tried swaddling when you cuddle her then putting her down still swaddled? Means she's in the warm blankets she was in as you held her, and still feels secure when she's put down...

Argh she isn't a paws consultant, although for all I know she knows a lot about dog paws. She is, however, a paediatric consultant.

she isn't even my DSIL, but is my DSIL's DSIL, but just call her that for ease

Ahh thanks janey that makes me feel much better. I hope I'm just reading too much into it and it's a coincidence. Just feel so sorry for him.

From what I've read it's quite common for newborns to only sleep on you as they've just come out of the womb so are used to the heat and heart beat. But try on your dh as well. That should hopefully give you a break!
And she will grow out of it until she starts demanding it again at 4 months so don't worry!!
Lovely name. Welcome to the sleepless club

Alex my newborn tips are anything goes! I think us lot with older babies are probably making you worry that yours should be self-settling etc., but really that comes much much later and for the first few months you should get her to sleep by any means possible. If she wants to sleep on someone can your DH let her sleep on him skin to skin while you get some rest? Tricks I used to do with Elodie include warming the moses basket with a hot water bottle before putting her down so there isn't a noticeable temperature change from being held, and I also used to let her fall asleep on me but on a pillow and then once she was asleep I would transfer her still on the pillow. As Janey said, swaddling worked well at night but she would never tolerate it during the day.

Also I think you should prepare yourself for a few days of lots of feeding and very little sleep while getting BF established. I might be stating the obvious but I thought I knew what to expect but it took me by surprise exactly how tough it was. IIRC day 3 was the worst and then it slowly got better after that once my milk came in. Park yourself up on the sofa and get your DH to wait on you while you just sit and feed and doze. You can snooze while feeding as long as your DH stays awake and keeps watch. Lots of women advocate feeding lying down but i've never been able to get the hang of it.

Congratulations again and Sophia is a beautiful name