Graduated Elderberries. Thread 9

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting or just had their first baby.

Aw I love to see new faces chatting at 4am
All seems normal Alex. Stick lansinol after each feed. And def call mw to check latch.
Had 2 glasses last night and two of port and ended up giving L boob rather than expressed as I was too tired to go downstairs and dh was out on the piss. She then proceeded to sleep 12-4 then 4:15-7 so a much better night. Maybe getting my baby drunk is the solution??!!!!

lol

I drifted off when she was on DH sleeping but was the only way I could get an hour or two of sleep and was out of my hands, I was exhausted! MIL says I should just put her down in her bed and leave her even if she cries but it's not that easy - the noise is just too much at night and I'm a pushover when she sounds upset! She's having a lovely sleep at the moment and I should be napping but it's too tempting to enjoy just relaxing!

Brilliant news is it looks like my milk's come in! The other boob was leaking when Sophia fed this morning!

That's good news Alex. Hopefully things should start easing up for you now. And you are not a pushover for wanting to comfort your tiny helpless newborn baby, leaving a baby to cry goes against all your instincts and quite rightly so. Don't let your MIL suggest otherwise, you are doing a great job and building trust between you and Sophia that you will always be there for her. When we lived in caves leaving a baby to cry would have resulted in them being eaten by a predator or a particularly vicious MIL.

Lol have a read of this blog. I love the orange juice example. I certainly plan to enjoy a little guilt-free tipple or four while BFing this Christmas.

I agree alex, I couldnt leave Harvey crying either! Especially when he was tiny. I know his crys more now so recognise the whingy, tired one and if I ignore it he settles and sleeps.

Hope Harvey is going through a growth spurt, he just took 7oz of milk either that or he is a greedy guts.

French were organizing some protests here this morning, it's the national sport, and the road to work was rumoured to be blocked til noon. So I took the morning off worked from home and it was so lovely, Viki is always in the best mood in the mornings. I'm quite jealous DH is the one who normally gets to enjoy it. He actually wants to close his company temporarily and be a full time SAHD.

I'm also very envious of all those 7oz-guzzling and food-scoffing babies. Viki still has 2-3 oz if we're lucky and happily ate puree yesterday, refused the same pot today. Oh well, we most likely won't have to worry about him getting too fat or anything..

Right I'm still in dilemma about sleeping arrangements, please help before I go mad!
Option 1: Moses basket which can be used downstairs for naps and upstairs in bedroom for nighttime. But what do I do when she grows out of it which i believe happens around 3 months?
Option2: Co sleeper upstairs which she won't grow out of before needing to go in her cot? But where does she nap downstairs? If I get a Moses basket she will grow out of it as above and the same for the pram carrycot.
Please help me solve the daytime sleeping mystery post 3 months!

co-sleeper for upstairs. Pram carrycots are bigger than moses baskets, so will last longer - I'd go for that one.

We have never used the moses basket downstairs. When she was first born she slept in the pram carrycot and from about 6 weeks old she has napped in her vibrating musical bouncy chair, which she still naps in now but won't be for long I suspect as once she's able to flip herself out of it it won't be safe, even with the harness fastened, so after that I will start to put her upstairs in her cot for naps but she'll be past 6 months by then.

She was in a moses basket next to our bed up until about a month ago (so until approx 4 months and she is 91st centile so quite big) and now she's in her cot still in our room.

We've got a Moses basket inside the cot upstairs which she still fits in (just!) and downstairs she has her bouncy chair and her play gym mat so sometimes I just chuck a blanket over her while she's lying on that if she looks sleepy.

Cavort- my little escape artist has already managed to chuck herself out of the bouncy chair and now has a damn good go at trying to tip it over/get out even when she's strapped in.

I've just read back to an old thread in desperation and when we had the burst of berry births back in July, I can see people were having bad nights but tears aren't mentioned much. Am worried that lovely little Sophia cries a lot, if she's awake and not feeding, she's crying. I am going to try and keep feeding her in case she's not getting enough food but am worried it's colic or something. I know babie cry but can anyone remember their first week and what the crying was like and how often? Lovely DH seems to cope with it much better than me!

alex a friend from my antenatal group also had a baby that would cry all the time, nothing wrong with her - some babies just cry. Is she also crying when being held? Maybe sling would help?

Alex I have to admit I do struggle to remember those first few blurry sleepless newborn weeks or I have blocked them out, but we definitely did have crying. I remember apologising to our visitors who had come to visit our lovely newborn that all we had for them to see was a screaming red-faced inconsolable baby. It definitely wasn't all the time but I think it was quite a lot initially. I used Infacol in the early weeks and it did seem to help - it's suitable from birth so no harm in trying it? And we never used it but other Mums have told me Colief is good and also suitable from birth. Once we learned the tiger in the tree hold we just used to do that to settle her and it generally worked really well. One thing you shouldn't do is worry that your milk isn't enough for her. Your milk is perfect for her and as you say, newborn babies do cry.

Purple we have had a few near misses with the chair when she arches her back, but luckily the seat on ours is quite deep so she hasn't managed to escape so far so we have been fastening the harness now where we never used to bother. I am really not looking forward to the transition into the cot for naps though, I really don't think it will be well-received and I imagine we will have a good few days of nap refusal and a grumpy overtired baby.

I've got the ergo baby carrier but haven't tried it out yet, do you think that type of carrier works as well around the house as a sling?

She had an amazing night quite a lot of tears in the evening - I got 6 hours sleep with a feed in between AND she slept in her cosleeper! Feel so much better this morning than when I called the midwife in tears yesterday evening

She does stop crying sometimes when she's held, or giving her a feed works and she then drifts off. Maybe I should just try and feed her every time she cries. I did wonder if she isn't getting enough milk. Just wish I knew how much crying is normal - like she screams every time she's changed for example bless her. Watching DH cuddling her now though and makes my heart want to burst.

Meant to say she has an amazing night AFTER quite a lot of tears in the evening!

Cross post cavort but funny that I was already wondering that about the milk!! Will just keep feeding as much as she demands. At least it works wonders to stop crying! I'm sorry but it really makes me feel better that yours cried - I hear people saying other babies were "good" or "difficult" etc and I don't like all of that as it makes me feel defensive of our little sweetheart when she's being "difficult"!

alex, I had nights with Harvey where he would just scream till 4am and I was at my whitts end. Ours was a wind issue but I'm afraid babies do cry a fair bit, the ladies baby in the bed next to me in hospital would wake up screaming every 2 hours on the dot, she also screamed blue murder when she was changed. Thankfully Harvey has got much better, he now only really crys when hes hungry, has wind or wants to be picked up or has to poo, a real boy lol

Things will get better alex, just remember that you have everything she needs, your milk is perfect for her and she will take what she needs when she needs it.

Also we are on night three of sleeping through,

oh absolutely feed her every time if she wants. It's also normal for newborns to cry at nappy changes, they simply get cold. And after baths, Viki used to scream his head off until we figured out that those tiny baby towels just weren't enough and wrapped him in the biggest one we could find.
Ergo is a good carrier, but you might also want to try an actual sling like moby, can hold the newborn closer.

snap hazel, harvey loves his bath, screams like hes being murdered when we take him out though as its cold like you say. I have his towel on the radiator or he gets really upset. However he can sleep through a nappy change....lazy wee lad. Outfit change however is a different matter, he hates things which have to go on over his head!!

I hate to piss on your chips Mother because I am jealous but Harvey will naturally start to move his bedtime earlier at some point and your lovely overnight stretch might become, say, 9pm-3am. We have lovely 7-8 hour stretches here but they are unfortunately 7pm-3am and she's grumpy as hell if we keep her up later. You might be lucky and get one of these elusive 12 hour sleepers but I think they are thin on the ground.

Don't worry about having a crier Alex. H has always been quite chilled out but he can't half cry if he wants to.

Infacol was handy for us but we only needed it for a couple of weeks in the end.

Out there suggestion - how was her birth? Was it assisted or prolonged second stage? It may be she hasa headache or something. I've not gone down this route myself (DP wouldn't let me) but it could be an idea to look into cranial osteopathy. Sometimes babies get trapped nerves etc during birth but cranial osteopathy can apparently release it.

Some midwives recommend it and you'd probably want to get a recommendation but just a thought.

I'm sat in bed with my poorly little boy. Remember the drama of last Friday with DP being violently ill? Well turns out it wasn't food poisoning as I went down with it in the night. DP did the night feed (begrudgingly) so I could rest a bit. At 7 he brought DS into bed with us. 15 minutes later he did an exorcist impression.

I've not been sick now since 4ish so hoping H will be through the sick stage soon. It's so distressing to see him so poorly. Am now really worried about him getting dehydrated. He's had some breastmilk since he was first ill but just refused some more. I think I'll let him sleep for a bit then offer some cool boiled water to try and get something into him.

Anyone done this? Did you use bottle with teat or an open cup? Haven't got a sippy cup yet :/

thanks cav yeah I'm ready for it all to go tits up, its bloody awesome at the moment though

Poor him brave, hope he feels better soon

Sophia had a tricky second stage where her heart beat kept dropping and they were getting really worried and trying to talk quietly but saying it wasn't normal and they'd need to act, then just as they were about to take me for emergency C, they actually looked and her head was there, I was completely dilated and had to get her out in three contractions. I had been asking them to check dilation for hours (and been saying I felt like pushing for a good while) but they wouldn't as they were adamant I was progressing very slowly. Thing is, they made me wait for the induction and epidural to speed things up so it was actually around 10 hours without my cervix being looked at! Wish I'd insisted especially as she was clearly distressed and I was so worried even at the time that it could lead to headaches/damage to her head

that sounds very poorly managed Alex, I'm sorry to hear that. Thank goodness she is ok!

Alex I'm not saying don't do it because plenty of parents have tried it with seemingly good results, but when we looked into it (was wondering the same as you after a traumatic and forceps birth), we found that cranial osteopaths don't require medical training/qualifications as they are seen as complementary therapists so basically anyone can do it. We decided not to take the risk of letting someone who may not know what they are doing manipulate our baby's skull. Can't link as on phone but have a look at the Bad Science website for objective opinions and reviews before deciding.

Awww Brave, hope you and H are feeling better soon.

No I won't take her to anyone just yet as totally agree but just hope it hasn't affected her. That and the fact they ignored the fact I wanted delayed cord clamping was bad. End result is amazing though and will try not to stress about her being affected by it.

Hello all

So after a rather insane and hairy 32 hr labour which finished this morning at 7.57, we have a daughter! She's lovely, only little, (6.2lb) and we are currently sat shell shocked in the postnatal ward gazing at her. Feels totally bizarre that she's here at long last.