Graduated Elderberries. Thread 9

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting or just had their first baby.

Fat fingers, posted too soon!

Yay for your better nights Quod and Alex I hope they keep it up for you.

And Mother I don't know how you keep your patience with your OH!

not baby related, but I'm off to a 2 hour Bokwa masterclass at 12.30, I'm not sure this classes as easing back into exercise 9 weeks post section. Eeek. Bit scared! Shall report back just how awful I am

take it easy mother!

I've cut down on gym, as I wouldn't really see the baby if I went every evening and weekends, so doing DVDs at home instead - have tons of them anyway and Bodypump weights as well. Did Bodyattack this morning, V found it very amusing.

I did go easy hazel! it was fun and I didnt find it hard at all so quite proud.

I found a kettlebells class up the road that I can take H to in his pram, so will try that. There is also a zumba class I can take him to if I want to. Apart from that I have a hula hoop and a gym ball so will be getting reaquainted with those

Aaarrgghh! Arrggh! Arrgghh! Aaaaarrrggghhhhh!!!!

Just checked my phone App and I have completely cocked my dates up and DH got back from holiday and now I find myself in a very unexpected and unwelcome 2WW! Arrgghh!

We were a bit careful so I think upduffment is unlikely but not as careful as we would have been if we had known it was that time. It would be just my sodding luck to get knocked up by accident while still going through sleep hell with the first one. Totally my fault as well as I thought I had checked the App and it said OV was Thurs or Fri - I blame sleep deprivation.

I need a drink.

Ah but 2 close together, would be lovely..

wow cav tense wait ahead!!

Oh cav!! is it wrong that my first thought was one of jealousy as I want another? Gosh, 2WW already. As hazle says two so close together would be lovely. At least you get all the sleepless nights over in one go?!

You are all mad!!

My idea of 2 close together is about 2.5 years apart not 15 months! I am sooooo not ready to be pregnant again let alone have another baby.

I am calming down now and thinking it really is quite unlikely but these are going to be 2 long weeks. FX for a BFN!

Oh Cav that's a bit of a headfuck, poor you.

I've got an unhappy baby again. She's doing green poos today, is writhing around full of gas and has got a snuffly nose to boot. Lots of crying and thrashing and she's just worn out, poor little thing, but keeps waking herself up cos she's uncomfortable. And it's making me all upset seeing her upset too .

On the plus side DP and I managed to have some sex and the episiotomy scar held up, not too uncomfortable. Baby farted all the way through proceedings and we had to stop for a breastfeed halfway through so definitely not the most romantic shag of my life but I am quite relieved that my foof is still in working order.

Omg cav will you be the first berry oh second baby??? Surely not
Over here we are in a hot tropical location and L is full of a cold . Could not leave the house today and she is coughing to the point of screaming the poor lamb!!!
Sorry have not read back as am also sleep deprived with a Velcro baby attached to me!!

Oh Cavort have to say I'd be the same as you! Fingers crossed!

Congrats Quod - was that your first time? Great news that everything was ok... Although a midway pitstop does sound like a passion killer!

We've now managed it a grand total of 4 times (I think) in 25 weeks and it's definitely improving wach time so practice makes perfect and all that :)

Bah stupid phone. ..

Sorry to hear about the poorly/out of sorts babies. When are you heading back Lol?

Eek cavort! Funnily enough DH said the other day that he would like to think about trying again quite soon when we were chatting about contraception. S was having a really rough time and I was missing wine so my first reaction was to say "no we're stopping at one!" However I think there is something to be said for having them quite close together if we are going to have another, especially with DH's age (37) so I'm tempted to leave it up to chance! Took is ages last time so could be the same again. Either way, must be scary being in the 2ww that soon after!

Speaking of dtd, quod I didn't even know we could do it yet and you gave birth after me! Hmm maybe I'll mention it to DH as he asked about that and I said I think we have to wait ages. Although not sure we'd get a chance with Velcro baby during the day and desperately needing sleep at night!

Now I'm scared to say this but...yesterday we went to the pub with friends and the neighbour's house for a meal and apart from a few crying bursts which we sorted with boob/dummy, S had another good day. And she cried when we got home but calmed down after her tummy tub and feed/grazing and she's just woken up after 6 hours straight! Amazing! please let it continue and either way it's given me real hope that she'll have good days and her reflux isn't really terrible for her anymore, or at least all the time

I'm with cav, on this one, close together to me means a couple of years apart. The thought of being pregnant again/having a newborn again and still having a baby who doesnt sleep through is terrifying. If anyone could do it you could though cav!

So please for you alex, hope the good days continue!

H slept till 6.30 this morning but when he did wake up I picked him up and his nappy had leaked everywhere and he was soaked, even his sleeping bag was wet through. Poor little guy. Sainsburys nappies just dont seem up to the job.

In other news, I am still ill. Its been three weeks now had a cold over christmas, then an awful sore throat which broke into a cold eventually, now this morning the throat is back. I'm so sick of it. Obviously it was too much for my body doing Bokwa yesterday, so annoying though bcause at the time I felt fine and I took it easy. I just want to feel well again. Plus my OH keeps pestering me to dtd but I cant face it when I'm full of illness.....grrr.

Oh and alex, dont rely on it taking ages the next time. Me friend thought that and got pregnant the very first month, she now has 2 who are 17 months apart.

excellent alex!

Here DH has been ready for the second one for ages. I'm not really, mainly because I am not looking forward to pregnancy and labour again. But I do want another child (not missing a newborn, would like to have the next already 6 months old, but oh well), and would prefer them really close together to get that over with. Even though it must be hell for a couple of years. With 2-3 year gap, one is already hopefully sleeping, eating and possibly out of nappies and you'd have to start all over again.

So a BFP at the moment would be like going to the dentist for a root canal - you know you have to at some point, it's not pleasant, but you'll be happy once it's done

Besides, it will make sense financially for us, as DH will either close his company or do just enough work to break even until V and potential DC2 will go to school, so it's best to keep that period as short as possible. I understand that if you need child care, you might need to wait til one is in school before you have another.

Aw Alex that's great news. Even if the good days are mixed in with the bad it gives you hope that the bad isn't going o be the consistent norm, doesn't it?

I clearly have the bad baby now - mine was awake 2am-6am and then wanted a feed at 7am and 8am. So I have had 45 min bursts of sleep all night and feel horrendous. I am worried she is not feeding properly because of the green poos which is making me feel quite low - a few days ago breastfeeding seemed to be going pretty well.

On the upside - we are pretty sure she has started smiling at us. I know they aren't meant to til 6 wks but its happened a few times now and seems to be genuinely in response to us - mainly DP actually, as I seem to have her when she is cross, feeding or asleep at the moment.

Mother I am sorry your illness is dragging on.

quod I've been reading this thread and really liked it, might be helpful to you today! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/1964221-Does-it-get-better

Sorry you've had a rough night Are you at a growth spurt/development stage going by your due date? Just found this for you about green poo and people saying stick with one boob for longer because of the hind milk thing:

The occasional green stool is not unusual in the breastfed baby. Consistently green stools, however, are not normal for the breastfed baby. Most doctors don't seem to recognize this as a potential problem because they often define "normal stool" as that of the formula-fed infant.
Consistently green stools in the breastfed baby can indicate:

• an imbalance of foremilk/hindmilk. *Ê a sensitivityÊto something in the mother's diet, such as cow's milk products. *a sign that baby has an illness. Babies with an intestinal virus or even a simple cold will sometimes have green stools.
• a lot of green vegetables or something with green food coloring in mom's diet.
• If baby has started solids, that could also account for the change in color (this is normal with the change in diet). Ê WHAT CAUSES AN IMBALANCE IN FOREMILK and HINDMILK? Foremilk has a large amount of lactose and is "digested" quickly, hindmilk has more fat and is "digested" more slowly. When the baby gets too much foremilk and not enough of the fattier hind milk, the baby gets a large amount of lactose and not enough fat. This means that the foremilk moves through the baby's system very quickly, and the lactose is not able to be fully digested. As it continues moving quickly through the baby's system, it draws extra water into the bowel and ferments the bacteria in the bowels. This causes excessive gas and very green, liquid, and highly acidic stools. The baby will usually be quite fussy. Sometimes mom can hear his or her tummy "gurgling". These babies nurse quite often because they are not getting enough hindmilk. Nursing actually will help to ease baby's discomfort, at least for a little bit, because it helps to move the gas. Babies often will pass gas and have a bowel movement either during their nursing sessions or shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, the cycle then begins again. This cycle often will result in a diaper rash due to the high acid content of the stools. To avoid or reduce the risk of an imbalance you should allow your baby to completely finish the first breast before offering the other. Moms that have an overabundant milk supply will often experience an imbalance of foremilk and hindmilk. A change in her nursing patterns can often help in resolving the problem. NOTE: There has been some confusion over foremilk and hindmilk and "when" one changes from one to the other. To help try to resolve some of the confusion here's one good description (thanks Kelly!) of how the breast works: A woman's breast really only makes one type of milk, and it's what's normally called "hindmilk," nutrient and fat rich milk. There is no sharp distinction between foremilk and hindmilk - it is a gradual change from the moment of the let-down (and there are several per feed, although most mothers only notice the first one). Because the composition of the milk changes as the feeding progresses and because every baby varies in the amount of time it takes him to receive his fill of hindmilk, allowing the baby to feed for an unlimited amount of time on the first side is important. In between feedings, milk collects in mom's breasts. Fat globules stick to the walls of the alveoli, high up in the breast, near where the milk is made. Between feeds (since the fat is stuck higher up), some lower-fat milk (foremilk) gradually moves down to fill the milk sinuses. This is where baby accesses the milk, and this is the milk that is available before letdown. When the letdown reflex is triggered, the milk is 'squeezed' down the ducts so it becomes available to the baby to milk out. As the breast starts to empty, the fat globules start becoming dislodged and move down the ducts. So the further into the feed, the higher the fat content of the milk coming out the nipple, as more and more fat globules are forced out.

Good news on the DTD Quod I think that first post-episiotomy shag is something that you just need to get out of the way rather than an event to be enjoyed - that part comes later (no pun intended ) The first time we DTD post-baby was about 6 weeks and my boobs (despite not being touched) leaked everywhere - I mean gallons! So we had to stop while I put a bra and breast pads on which was obviously a total passion killer. At 6 weeks the scar wasn't painful but even now 6 months on I am still aware of it so goodness knows how long it takes to properly heal. It's not stopping us though and things are back to normal in that department, hence the current scare I am an idiot.
E has always had days where she's done green poos but then seems to revert back to normal so I've never worried about them.

Great news Alex! Hooray for a non-crying sleeping baby! And long may it last! I think many women wait until after their 6 week check before DTD, especially if they've had stitches, but if you feel ok then no harm in giving it a go. Use plenty of lube and you can always stop if it's uncomfortable.

I hope you feel better soon Mother. 3 weeks ill, especially with a tiny baby, is a very long time.

And you Lol. Poor L, I hope she gets better so you can enjoy some time before you have to fly home.

Here my panic mood has been lifted somewhat by a good night with E where she only woke once and went straight back to sleep until 7.30. It's amazing how after just one good night I am thinking, hmm, would another be so bad? I am still desperately hoping not to be pg though but I guess if I was (which is unlikely) it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Just somewhat earlier than would be ideal. I do think you should be first on number two Hazle so you can test the water and feed back on how hard it is.

Am reading all your messages but too ill to reply.. Went out for anniversary dinner at a little Thai around the corner last night and now have nasty case of D&V. Ugh. And we brought leftovers home for my mum who was babysitting - who has it too. FFS. Am totally over being ill...

Oh no Janey

Boo rubbish janey, hope it passes soon.

Happy anniversary though. That reminded me that this time last year and the year before I was in the Maldives! Was thinking I'd love to take S snorkelling when she's old enough to do it, not somewhere as expensive as the Maldives, maybe Egypt as that's cheaper. I guess this is another argument for having another one sooner rather than later, makes planning for things like that easier if they're a similar age. Can't believe I'm thinking about another, a couple of days ago and the idea would have made me panic!

Funny you should say that Alex as I've just popped back over here from browsing at holidays to Egypt.

DH told me to plan a sunny holiday for us all in Feb or March as a sweetener for the fact that he was sodding off snowboarding without us and I would ideally like to go to Dubai, but it's really expensive to get a nice hotel (I want to stay at the Madinat - c. 5.5k for a week - ouch!) and we can't justify spending that much when we are saving to move house, so Egypt is a nice sunny compromise which is currently quite cheap due to last year's political unrest which worries me slightly despite Government advice saying Red Sea resorts are currently fine, but I am choosing to sweep this under the carpet in the interests of getting a cheap holiday.

After Lol's issues with L's body clock waking her up mega-early, I don't want to head West and have the same issues so I figure going somewhere a few hours ahead of the UK would be ideal sleep-wise as it means E would go to bed a bit later and have a lie in.

Can you tell I am trying to talk myself into Egypt being a good idea despite really wanting to go to Dubai?