Graduated Elderberries. Thread 9

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting or just had their first baby.

Sorry you're missing him lol My DH is back at work on Monday and it's my birthday, hopefully it won't be a tough day!

Did anyone else have any of this with your baby - crying lots, looking like in pain, white tongue, milk curdled in mouth, tongue sticking out quite a bit, grumpy/irritated after feed? I'm still really hoping it's all "normal" but reading a reflux thread on here, I'm starting to think it is that Really don't want to give her medication when she's so small so my only hope is it's normal baby behaviour and will hopefully get easier! Still a rain cloud on her wonder weeks but not sure it's linked.

is the tongue white because of milk or might she have trush? That would also make her uncomfortable.
www.babycentre.co.uk/a92/thrush-in-babies

Hmm I'm not sure as it seems to only happen at certain times rather than all the time like thrush might. It's also the choking type sounds she makes and coughing/gulping that make me think reflux, her body goes quite rigid too. Although I know lots of babies cry/grunt/make choking sounds so not sure if it is something out of the norm?! I thought it was always possible to soothe a crying baby but when she has her crying fits at the moment, it's so hard to stop her even if I let her lie on me which used to work. I don't agree with cry it out at this stage so it leaves me at a bit of a loss when she's upset!

Miles always had a white tongue, I wondered about thrush but I thin it was just milky.

If she's gulping could it be that your let down is too fast for her? Miles used to do that, and then get terrible wind and really upset... Then clever cavort suggested feeding him as I'm leaning back. I only used to have to do it for evening feeds (maybe him being sleepy meant he didn't feed as well or something?) but made such a difference...

I've been trying to feed leaning back and holding her at an angle against me so she's more vertical than horizontal. She does slurp when the let down is fast as I can hear wind going into her belly sometimes, poor thing! Then she stops feeding, often with a cough/splutter and burp, and gets sleepy but then looks uncomfortable and often starts crying. I'm thinking winding would make reflux worse (bringing the acid up) so if it is reflux, not sure that's such a good idea to go full on with winding. Really wish I knew it what's happening is just normal or reflux!

Could you give her infacol or gripe water first alex so she finds it easier to bring up the wind? Harvey used to get much worse wind when he was bfing using nipple shields than he does now, think his wind is gradually getting better as he gets older, fx S's does too!

Alex we had the white tongue - I had HV's check it intermittently and they always just said it was just milk residue. E used to gulp and make clicking noises when feeding until a posterior TT was diagnosed and cut. Has S been checked? She still gulped a bit afterwards but as Janey said I think I had a fast let down and used to drown her sometimes! Is S a month old yet? You could perhaps try a bit of Gripe Water, it worked really well for E in those early weeks for getting her wind up. My DNephew has suffered terribly with reflux since birth (he's 9 months now) and my DSis has always mixed a measure of Gripe Water in his bottle (he is FF) as she says it really helps. She did give me a technical explanation of why it helps reflux but I can't remember what it is - something to do with the dill seed oil neutralising stomach acid maybe? Perhaps worth a try if you've exhausted everything else?

I hope so too Lol! The WW says she is before the fussy phase now but she has been particularly grumpy for these last few days so maybe an elusive tooth is imminent. We'll see I suppose but I hope she cheers up while DH is away or it's going to be a very long week!

Purple for all of her issues nappy changing is one of the easier ones. She has a mobile over the changing table and spends her time trying to rip it off which generally distracts her long enough for a speedy nappy change. I hope your walls are wipe clean when your OH goes back to work

Thanks cavort, when you say your nephew suffered with it, what's the difference between reflux and normal baby fussiness? How much crying are we talking? S cried/grumped for over two hours earlier but has been peaceful and sleeping this afternoon. She cries at night an can be really hard to settle, and she coughs/splutters lots including in her sleep, but she does then sleep in 2/3 hour blocks. I'm just trying to work out whether it's all just standard baby behaviour!

Purple I read a tip somewhere of balling up some Sellotape and sticking it to one of baby's hands while you chenge them, the idea being they get absorbed in trying to get it off. I dunno if she's still too little for that tactic though?

Alex all that crying sounds tough. Have you tried going to a specialist BF midwife for advice? It must be really hard to know what's normal and what's excessive crying, but maybe there are some other positioning adjustments you could try to stop the gulping air? The woman we saw was so so helpful - one-on-one hour-long sessions working on the latch. It was a free service provided at the local Sure Start centre, I am sure there will be similar where you are - do you have a list of local 'Milk Spots'?

Ah yes selotape, an excellent ploy and if it doesn't work I can just tape her in place with a few restraining strips here and there

Alex - I agree with Quod on the bf specialist midwife, mine was absolutely fantastic, it's well worth looking into. Hope it gets easier for you both soon.

Thanks, I thought I had BF sorted as she seemed to latch and drink with no pain anymore, but anything is worth a try. She's just been screaming at us for an hour and a half straight, but has finally fallen asleep on DH, exhausted! So no one else's baby cries for sessions like this? Damn maybe that means she is in pain. Still clinging on to the hope it's just the wonder weeks leap!

alex Harvey used to have bouts where he would cry for an hour or two, but it wouldn't be continuous, it was on and off. We soon discovered it was wind and once he was old enough to have gripe water life got much much easier. He had awful wind when I was bfing, both because of the nipple shields and because I had fast let down, he was just as bad when I started expressing and using tommee tippee bottles, the Dr Brown bottles were our saving grace, he still gets wind but nowhere near as bad.

I have heard of people drinking peppermint tea and camomile tea when bfing to try and help with babies tummy ache/wind/colic, not sure how quickly it would work or how much you'd need to drink might be worth researching though? or might be me talking crap

I'll try the tea, thanks. Will also look into gripe water, not sure it's good for them as they need to be a month old to have it but might be worth a try. She's still screaming another hour later!

...and still screaming

Gripe water definitely helped L as well, can't remember how long she used to cry for but remember that gripe water seemed like a life saver at the time!

over here you are supposed to drink fennel tea and also give it to the baby in case of any stomach problems.

Aaarrgghhh! Night from hell! Just typical as DH is away for a week from this morning

My night was probably still not as bad as yours though Alex, I really hope things improve for you soon. I will ask my DSis what DNephew's reflux symptoms were before the gripe water but I remember her being up all night with him.

Aaarrgghhh! Night from hell! Just typical as DH is away for a week from this morning

My night was probably still not as bad as yours though Alex, I really hope things improve for you soon. I will ask my DSis what DNephew's reflux symptoms were before the gripe water but I remember her being up all night with him.

Damn fat fingers!

sorry you all had bad nights hope you got some rest in the end alex!!
H actually slept the best he ever has last night, ten hours with one wake up....I'm in shock! Instead the cat decided to bring in and show off the bird it caught at 6am, just after I'd got H back to sleep, bloody cat is lñucky I didnt skin it! I shut it out the bedroom without wrestling the bird off him but am now worried there will be feathers everywhere....nice.

We had a rubbish night too with W up every 1-2 hrs chewing my nipples off distractedly but not seeming to fill up, and a distressing 3am incident where she projectile pooed all over DP and several other things in the living room. We are both a bit frazzled this morning. Honestly, the shit went about 2ft, is that normal?!

Over here they also give fennel tea to babies in case of colic.... Worth a go I wonder?
Alex in my vast experience of having a baby for a whole 5 months (plus 8 days mind you ) is that it looks like too much crying. I would check with gp/mw/HV to make sure she's not in pain. The only time L screamed like that she ended in hospital for two nights!
It could well be silent reflux or colic? Or early teething even??
We had an ok night here but she's back at waking up at 5. She has also learnt these squeals which are cute but way too loud at 5 am!

Feeling so down this morning - DH and I are managing to make jokes about it but felt like the longest night! She finally stopped crying some time after 4am. I'll call the GP and HV on Monday and see what they say. Am gutted if it is silent reflux as have been googling and it can go on for months/years. She is only a month old so I do keep hoping she'll grow out of it but I don't want her and us to be in pain. Will def try fennel tea. I'm thinking of changing my diet to cut certain things out like dairy but it's hard when I'm so exhausted to manage a diet properly. Keep thinking it's so unfair and I really want all of us to enjoy this time. Am dreading DH going back to work as I won't want this to affect his job so he's going to have to get sleep and leave me to it.

Well that was a cheerful post! mother enjoy every minute of that sleep for me! Our cat's behaving at least, swings and roundabouts hey

Oh Alex big unMN hugs for you. That sounds so hard, I am not surprised you feel down. It must all feel v daunting right now. I think it's a really good plan to see GP/HV and try to get some help and support.

alex I agree, it does not sound like just crying and seeing your GP is a good idea. I know some people whose babies suffered from reflux, they were at the end of their tether, but some medication (sorry, don't know what exactly) made a massive difference.
We only had a couple of days when V had tummy problems and he cried for half an hour or so, and I remember how hard that was, I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. Hugs.