February 2014 - We've got big bumps and we cannot lie...

[DawnOfTheDee]

You other mothers can't deny,
When a girl walks in with an ever expanding waist
And a round thing in your face
You....'d better give her some cake....

etc, etc,

New thread! Enjoy!

I know this has been done to death and shrops has posted her list atleast twice BUT baby brain has meant that I diligently wrote a hospital bag list based on your advice but I have helpfully left it in my desk at work and I suddenly feel very panicky about getting my bag together..... anyone care to share their lists please?

Oooh Bugsy I need that too! I haven't even thought of hospital bag yet but seeing as I'm 35+2 id better get one sorted. Hoping to be at home anyway but will be good to have it all to hand.

Gnitting - I'm going to start perineal massage but think DH may have to help as I really don't think I can reach to do it properly thanks to giant high up bump. I've also bought an Epi-no as well and will start having a go with that - fingers crossed it helps!

Mil has announced her intentions to come and stay 'to help' when the baby's born. She has a long journey so it would be for several days (as much time as she can get off work so could be talking a week plus...). My mil is great, and I want her to be able to bond with the baby despite living far away, but we have very different ways of running our lives - she's very much a mother hen and I find it really stressful to be fussed over all the time. Just want to spend March getting to know our baby on my own terms and learning what works for me and dh, not being fussed over every time the baby cries, or making polite conversation when I'm tired and covered in baby sick. I'm a very private person - won't be sharing stories of stitches and bleeding and sore nipples with my own mother after giving birth so having mil in my very personal space afterwards (small house, nowhere to hide!!) has suddenly increased my stress levels I've got no problem after about the 6 week mark and she'll be welcome to stay as often as she likes over the summer, just not in week 3

I know this is another one like hospital bags that's been done before, but any advice on how to put her off without making her feel like we don't want her involved, or what's worked for you with your older dc? She can stay with my family nearby when the baby's newborn, so it's not that we're saying she can't come and visit, but get the feeling she wants to stay with us so she can help out.

On a more positive note - gnitting and misskat we've been doing a perineal stretch in yoga which might also help. Just get onto all fours, bring one foot forward so it's by your hands, and bend your front knee forward to extend the stretch. You won't feel much as you're stretching skin not muscle, but am told it's a good one especially if it's getting hard to reach with olive oil

Hospital bag (this is basically Shrops' list, I might've removed/added a couple of items)

For me

Books/ magazines
Maternity notes
Sweets/snacks
Water in sports bottle (x2, one frozen)
Face cloths/muslins for wetting or spray bottle
Note book and pen
Phone, wallet, keys
Wet wipes
Anti bac wipes
Chap stick
Breast pads
Dressing gown/big jumper
Slippers/flip flops
2 x nightie
Cheap big knickers
Maternity pads
Nursing bra
Hair bands
Hair brush
Shampoo and conditioner
Nivea cream
Tooth brush and paste
Comfy clothes to wear home
Lansinoh
Plastic bags/large zip locks for washing etc
Arnica
Music
Birthing ball
Towels
Change

For baby

4 baby gros
4 vests
4 muslins
Pram suit
Hat/mittens/socks
Full nappy bag with at least 10 nappies (extra kept in car)
Baby wipes
Cotton wool
2 cellular blankets
Car seat

sunflowered my MIL is also coming. She is very understanding and basically told me to tell her when I wanted her...I suggested at 2 weeks when DH goes back to work. She's booked fully flexible flights so once baby arrives we will let her know when we want her.

Can't you just tell your MIL (or delegate telling to DH if that would work better) what you've said here? That you really want her to be involved; that you appreciate her willingness to help; but that you want some time at home with just the three of you to learn about the new baby in your own time and become a little family unit on your own. With the offer of staying with your family close by.

I can't imagine that she would be offended by that - it sounds extremely reasonable. I also pointed out to my MIL that I have no idea what kind of baby this will be and what kind of parents we will be and that we might want help straight away but we would rather find that out when the time comes, instead of lining that help up only to regret it.

I should add that I'm not a very private person - will happily get naked in front of my MIL - also she looked after me when I had HG and has literally scooped me off the bathroom floor covered in my own puke - so I completely understand that you would want more time than I would before having someone else in the house!

Has anyone else hit a wall of tiredness? After shopping this morning, I've just crashed out on the sofa and fell fast asleep. Poor DH has hoovered and painted around me, and is now assembling ikea stuff, while I'm lazing around. But I really don't have any energy.

Joining the club about being apprehensive about pets and baby! We are starting this week to ban cats from the bedroom (spray can with water and lemon juice by the door) so they don't associate arrival of baby with privileges lost, and we've not allowed them in the nursery since we moved in. I have had one of them sleeping on my head a few times, and they have been snuggling next to my boyfriends 9 year old nephew all week when he's slept in our bedroom, so it's highly likely that a warm baby in a snuggly cot will be attractive! Don't think a cat would suffocate anything on purpose though - it's not part of their attack repertoire anyway :P

Getting lots of nappies and all that stuff also this week, so they can get used to some of the new smells that will arrive :) Also looking to get claw covers (anyone know where to find them?) as one especially is very clumsy with his claws! Our cats have been the babies for 7-8 years so it'll be a massive change! Two are fine but the girlycat is a major diva and gets very, very jealous.

Would recommend everyone with cats to watch this 2 min video of how to introduce a baby to a cat :)

animal.discovery.com/tv-shows/my-cat-from-hell/videos/my-cat-from-hell-jackson-galaxy-videos.htm

Think I had a BH this morning! It all felt supertight inside for like 30 sec or so, uncomfy but not painful. Also not been able to sleep on my back since week 14 or so - feel breathless and like my head will explode due to the cut off of oxygen. I can't wait to sleep on my back again!

Just realised a whole new page had appeared since I started catching up last night! My MIL is coming in the middle of march - two weeks after due date so she's guaranteed baby will have arrived! I'm slightly apprehensive, but I have lived there whilst commuting between uni and home for the last 2 years, 2 months full time, so we're very much good friends :) She sometimes says that I take after her as if I was her daughter, so I take that as a compliment! She doesn't like her other DIL, but we seem to have things in common so it's great. She doesn't like young babies though, so a bit confused why she wants to come straight away :P

My MIL announced she has booked off a fortnight at the start of March (didn't check with us at all). I have politely told her that whilst she is very welcome that she shouldn't take offence if I tell her to pack her bags at some point so DH & I can figure stuff out on our own. I think she will assume she can sleep in our spare room too. I could ask her to stay in a hotel but I don't think she will. 2 weeks is a bloody long time for me to host guests - without a new baby I can really only manage with 3-4 days before I want my own space back. My parents are coming for a week at the end of March which I think will be much better.

I'm starting a list of meals I can batch cook and freeze as something to keep me occupied when I start ML mid-January. So far I have the following, any other suggestions?

Bolognese
Chilli con Carne
Lasagne
Lamb tagine
Sweet & sour chicken/pork
Beef casserole
Curry

Basically things that we can warm up with either pasta, rice or potatoes and a bit of frozen veg. Will also be buying cans of soup, pasta sauce, dried pasta for emergency meals. Porridge oats for quick filling breakfast.

It's lovely to have offers of help from parents and MIL but I agree that it's really important time to spend together as a new family. My DM wanted to stay at the start, but I put my foot down and said no. She got upset but she shouldn't have assumed that was what we would want. She'll almost certainly come and stay when DH goes back to work, I hope she leaves it long enough for me to be feeling relaxed and not stressed with the baby.

My DM is coming for a couple of days right at the start. I'm hoping its only for a couple of days anyway! Then will ask her to come for a bit longer when DH is back at work.

I've been reading a lot about peoples views on visitors after the baby, and tbh I think it's really difficult to call. I always think the worst and assume it will be awful, but I'm trying to think positively. I really want DM to be there when he's just been born to meet him, so that's whats going to happen. Similarly I had a health scare last year, and when she came to visit she was v supportive and really great, totally surprised me. Hoping for more of the same when baby arrives.

PILs are on holiday for a month and I'm due right in the middle. We're both a bit upset they won't be there when he's born, but what can you do.

The end of all my baby washing is in sight! Washed everything up to 6 months including bedding etc. I guess we'll see how bored I get in Jan as to whether I iron it all as well!

jazz PIE!!! We made a xmas leftovers pie (heaven) and got 10 portions for the freezer out of it! I love my pie...

tiny I've never made a pie and had enough leftovers to freeze before! Do you cook it as per normal then freeze once cooled? Or do you freeze uncooked? Sorry if this is a blindingly obvious question...

We always make huge pies and then freeze once cooked and cooled, makes it easier to portion up. We usually only cover the top in pastry as well.

Last night I made tacos and figured I'd make enough of the beef and beans mixture to freeze some. (500g beef and 400g beans for the two of us) Instead it all got polished off pretty sharp-ish. I think I will need to start decanting things into tupperware before anyone gets served dinner...

Our Pil are coming to stay after baby is born but are only going to be up for about 3 nights and will stay in a hotel round the corner. I think they're going to book for end of feb so hopefully we'll have had a good few weeks to get used to having a baby. They're lovely as well and are fine doing their own thing and there are places they want to visit nearby that they didn't get chance to last time they were up so it should be fine. We definitely wouldn't want anyone staying really soon after the birth as we want that time to bond and get our heads round the fact that we have a baby!

I am so excited about batch cooking and have been checking out small chest freezers in the sales. Must get one ordered this week and begin my mammoth cooking next week. I did cottage pie last time and froze the mash and meat separately and then just bunged together when cooking and it was yummy. I might see how things like enchiladas freeze too. I'm basically just obsessed with freezing anything and everything at the moment! If any of you are costco members I recommend the containers you get take aways in. We got a massive box of hundreds of them for about 6 quid. They're the perfect size for a two people portion and stack easily in the freezer, plus you can reuse them. I always lose Tupperware lids so these are great as they're all the same shape and size.

Going to try and prize DH away from the computer now and have a tasty tea of buffet party food!

An Marzi - thanks for the hospital bag list! I'm going to copy and save!

Marzipanned - I just noticed you've listed birthing ball as going in your hospital bag. Have you checked with your midwife as they usually have loads at the hospital and it's a big item to have to 'pack' unless you have to.

I think I'm going to have to wimp out leave dh to handle the chat with his mum - she's from a part of the world where families are still much closer knit than they are in se england so we do sometimes have to play a very careful balancing act. He'll know what not to say I hope... On the other hand, she demonstrated her fussing potential over xmas when a young relative had a small knock that was easily treated by a first aider with a plaster... (not a head injury - very minor graze). Mil wasn't there when it happened but as soon as she found out she wanted to take said young relative to a&e immediately. He was mortified!

It's a difficult one because my parents are only 20 miles away so can pop in for an evening or an afternoon whereas pils have to travel and stay over. My mum's said several times they can stay at hers for as long as they like if they want to visit when it's newborn, and I (don't think) I have any issues with planned, time limited family visits - just as long as I can close the door at the end of it... And advice from family will be very useful as dh and I are completely clueless - though again I'm a bit wary of the 'in my day' advice! In mum/mil's day you were in hosp for a week plus, bf was much less well supported/encouraged, and you just propped the carry cot on the back seat of the car to get the baby home from hospital, and a lot of the cot death precaustions hadn't been identified then, so there are many things we see as essential that they think are overprotective nonsense. (Dm still shrieks if i raise my arms above my head in case I strangle the baby in its umbilical cord... I have to admit to occasionally doing this to get a reaction out of her )

mil won't book travel until after the baby's born so am really hoping we can play it by ear for each potential visit date. I could have a sneeze birth followed by dream baby and welcome all guests with open arms.... ['on another planet' emoticon] It just put me into a bit of a panic when the reality hit earlier, so has been good to hear how you're all handling family visits.

Thanks marzi for the hospital list as well. Had just sat down to write my own list when you posted so was very timely I've added to my list a big box of chocs and thank you card so we can leave the ward staff something when we go home, rather than make a separate trip back.

Oh uh. After much laziness I've been busy the last few hours unpacking (finally!) the last boxes from moving 18 months ago, cooking dinner etc. I made the mistake of lying down on the bed for a minute and now I can't move my left hip/back has just given up. I'm waiting patiently for DH to come and rescue me.

I wish we could use ibuleve gel

DH came and accused me of laziness and laughed and walked off I'm now lying here in tears. He's not normally a bastard!

Thanks champs. He came back in and realised that I was actually hurting and has been nice again. He can finish cooking dinner now though, dammit.